


A Different Kind of Pacifist

by ragnacrap



Category: Iji (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Minor Spoilers, Post-Canon, Spoilers, Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 96,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8638513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragnacrap/pseuds/ragnacrap
Summary: Instead of an innocent unarmed child, a seasoned young adult equipped with the greatest weapon and armor humanity has left thanks to the Tasen enters Mt. Ebott. Like the child, this adult refuses to kill. Unlike the child, this only extends to a personal level. How much will change? How much will stay the same? This is a writing experiment. Rated T for casual mention of death.Post-Canon tag only applies to the Iji storyline, not the Undertale one. Spoilers are for Iji. Minor Spoilers are for Undertale.Please don't spoil Undertale in the comments unless I've passed the point where the spoiler won't be a spoiler anymore. Spoilers for Iji is perfectly fine.





	1. Entering The Underground

There are so few fanfics of _Iji_ , and I understand that. It's relatively short, and the story's rather straightforward. However, there're a few things in particular that struck me; after watching jacksepticeye's Let's Play of _Undertale_ (and later watching Mangaminx and Russ Money's LPs of them), I saw that both main characters are essentially two different extremes of pacifists: one canonically avoids using violence at any cost, and the other's idea of pacifism only extends to "don't kill them personally".

And I thought, after seeing a few other fics where somebody else falls into the Underground instead of the Human Child (note: I know what their name is, but I ain't telling), what if I had Iji enter the Underground and meet the monsters? How will they deal with Iji's brand of pacifism? How will she react to them? Well, I can't promise they'll be that much different, as this is just a writing experiment.

As the title suggests, I will be doing the pacifist route, and Iji here will have done the same in her own game. Go play it, search for "iji remar games", then come back. As a result, there will be spoilers on _Iji_ , but I'll try not to for _Undertale_.

Disclaimer: _Iji_ belongs to Daniel Remar, and _Undertale_ belongs to Toby Fox.

Now, without further ado, may I represent…

**A Different Kind of Pacifist**

* * *

After bracing her fall, which had been barely broken by a bed of yellow flowers, Iji got to her feet, and looked around. Up from where she came was the only source of light in this area, and it was barely a trickle. The place where she fell down was oval-shaped, and the only other means of exit was a passageway. Upon later inspection, she would notice the stone was… strangely clean cut, no little bumps or cracks across its surface to be felt. _So they_ _ **are**_ _here. Or were, at least._ This fall was no accident; Iji meant to come here. She heard the legends regarding the monsters in Mt. Ebott, and she went anyway.

Iji still wore the same green shirt, black long shorts, and black shoes from when she first woke after the Tasen's Alpha Strike, and kept her long brown hair loose, though it was properly brushed now. The Nanofield that had been…installed onto her still surrounded her body even now. The only thing that was new was a customized holster for her trusty weapon; her Nanogun, which she never let out of her sight and/or off her person, as she had promised her brother Dan. So she wouldn't have to keep on holding it, her new holster was designed to hold her Nanogun on her back, sturdy enough to lock it there when she doesn't need it, and loose enough so she can pull it out at a moment's notice.

Even though she was technically a cyborg now, she still needed food like every other human, so she also had a satchel filled with all sorts of long-lasting food so she won't go hungry, two canteens with water (in case she loses one or feels the need to share), a couple of pills for purifying water if she were to find a stream or spring deep in the mountain, a flashlight, and all other kinds of supplies. It paid to be prepared.

With a path open to her, Iji walked down the 'hallway'. Before long, she came across a pillar. There was no mistaking it. The cleverly cut and rounded edges, the complex design, it was most certainly a pillar of some sort. She felt next to the pillar and noticed empty space, and if she looked closely enough, she could see light.

It seemed to be an entryway. Wary of what might be ahead, Iji un-holstered her Nanogun, and crossed it. Unlike the facility in which she fought the Tasen and Komato in, there was no Nano, so she would have to be very conservative with her ammunition. Defense won't be an issue; her Nanofield protects from all forms of physical and projectile attacks; the only thing that can penetrate it are Nanoweapons, and those things don't exist underground. Still, who knows what these monsters have up their sleeve?

Up ahead was another beam of light above, shining down on a single golden flower, with a white androecium, six yellow petals, and a green stem, its roots digging through the stone. Intending to walk past the flower entirely, she noticed the outline of another room ahead. She concluded that this must be some sort of… cave, leading deeper into the underground.

And then she noticed something move. She turned to the flower…and saw it smiling at her, complete with mouth and eyes. _Is this a monster?_

"Howdy!" it greeted. Iji reeled back in mild shock. "I'm Flowey! Flowey the Flower! Hmm…" It smiled. "You're new to the Underground, arent'cha? "

 _So that's what they call it here._ "I guess you can say that, um, Flowey."

"Golly, you must be so confused. Someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do. Ready?" Iji simply nodded. "Here we go!"

There was a soft, rapid clicking noise as the flower pointed one of its petals at Iji's heart. She looked down to see… a red heart-shape glowing straight through her shirt. Iji found herself blushing a bit, hoping it wasn't revealing anything else; she didn't know the flower's gender, and even though she wasn't that well-endowed—

"See that heart?" Flowey continued to speak. "That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being! You SOUL starts weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV."

"What's LV stand for?" _Level, just like my Nanofield?_

"Why, LOVE, of course!"

_Oh._

"You want some LOVE, don't you? Don't worry, while I can see you already have quite a bit of LOVE, I'll share some with you!"

_Um, thank—wait, what? I already got LOVE? And for some reason, I don't think he just means love. Dan…_

Flowey winked at her, sticking its tongue at her happily, then suddenly shook slightly, releasing white.. pollen? Iji wasn't quite sure what it was. It seemed to have a white aura and floated around, as if it had a mind of its own. "Down here, LOVE is shared through… little white… "friendliness pellets". Are you ready?"

A nagging thought in Iji's mind warned her of the possibility that this could very well be a trap and that she probably shouldn't take this at face value.

"Move around! Get as many as you can!"

While she never encountered an traitorous individuals (for all she knew, Flowey really was a nice monster), she played it safe and—as the "friendliness pellets" started moving closer, playfully floating around—dodged them all with ease, where they dispersed upon impact with the walls behind her. If they were really friendly, they'd be patient with her.

Flowey frowned pensively as a result. "Hey buddy, you missed them. Let's try again, okay?"

"Sorry." As it dispersed more "friendliness pellets", Iji wondered how she should test these pellets out as she put the Nanogun to it holster. If these were really harmful, it would be best to determine how much damage they could inflict, which means she has to expose a body part to catch one. And given the nature of the attacks, she can't tell if they could pass through the Nanofield or not. She then elected to expose her pinky finger of the hand she used to hold up her Nanogun, if it hurt that much, she could at least still fight.

The pellets approached her once more and she evaded them like before, this time extending her hand so that her pinky could touch one of them. Unfortunately, she missed, and Flowey looked really angry.

"Is this a joke?" it asked impatiently. "Are you braindead? RUN. INTO. THE. BULLETS!"

Iji was shocked. _What?! Bullets?! So Flowey means to harm me!_

Flowey was also shocked, but for a different reason and attempted a verbal backspace. "Uhh… friendliness pellets."

But it was too late. Iji dodged the next wave of bullets, and Flowey then dropped the cheerful facade, showing a gruesome face of pure malice.

"You know what's going on here, don't you? You just wanted to see me suffer."

"No," Iji replied as she took out her Nanogun. She still wouldn't kill it, just hope she can scare it away. "Your tricks may work on a naive child, but I'm no such person."

Flowey's response to that was to conjure a column of "friendliness pellets" around Iji, completely closing her off. "DIE." It then let off a maniacal laugh, showing its sharp teeth, as the bullets closed in.

Iji prepared to run. There was no time to test if the bullets would go through her Nanofield or not, and there was no way to test how much damage she would take. She could only hope and do what she has often done in the face of the aliens that had tried to kill her long ago; run through the barrage and weather it.

Just then, a figure burst through the doorway and Flowey's bullets instantly disappeared, leaving it confused. The large… beast swung its hand, a fireball escaping from its paws and hitting Flowey, knocking it out of sight. Once that was done, Iji took a good look at the one who helped her, but kept her Nanogun in hand. She learned her lesson with the Komato; Dan thought they were the good guys who can kill the Tasen for them, but they turned out to be far worse.

The new stranger's head resembled that of a white-furred Nubian goat, with droopy ears and short horns. They had a pair of visible fangs and long eyelashes (Iji can safely assume this was a female). Her irises have a slight red tint. Her body was anthropomorphic, with paws at the end of her limbs, and she wore a long blue robe that displayed a smooth-edged upside-down triangle containing an orb between two wings and three triangles beneath it, the bottom middle triangle being inverted. She stood at least two feet taller than Iji, and that was saying something as Iji was fairly tall, even compared to most men: 6 feet, 3 inches. (1)

"What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor innocent youth," she said in a motherly voice.

 _Youth? I'm 20, though some think I look younger._ Iji aimed her Nanogun at the stranger; she can't take risks at this point, not after Flowey.

The stranger seemed to notice the woman's hostility and raised her arms in a gesture of peace. "Do not be afraid, my child." Her tone remained steady. "I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first human to come here in a long time."

_First in a long time? That means there's more!_

"Come! I will guide you through the catacombs." With that, Toriel put her arms down, slowly turned away, and then walked toward the doorway she came in and crossed it to another room.

After reading her tone, Iji could sense no malice in it, no evil intent, and Toriel even left herself vulnerable if Iji were to decide to shoot her in the back. A sign of trust, perhaps? Iji decided to stand down, but kept holding onto her Nanogun just in case. She then followed Toriel, and found her standing in the center. She didn't notice that her SOUL stopped glowing at this point.

* * *

The room they were now in was lined with vibrantly dark purple brick. Red leaves were spread across the cave. The ground itself was akin to some kind of purple grass, but the way her shoes crunched against the plant seemed to signal it wasn't alive. Two sets of lavender concrete stairs wrapped up the walls and arrived at a platform several feet high. Up at the platform was a sign hung above a doorway, the next room barely visible. The air felt cold and dry inside the Ruins, and despite being underground, the area was fairly lit despite the lack of candles or other obvious methods of illumination. _Another feat monsters can do, perhaps?_

If Toriel was showing her kindness, it's fair that she show it too. "My name's Iji," she introduced herself and extended her hand.

The monster took the hand and shook it in return, and Iji could feel it was very fuzzy and warm. The two then ascended the right-hand steps, Toriel leading the way. The monster had to pick up her robe as she walked, causing her to slow down as she focused on each step. Iji patiently waited behind her as the two eventually entered the next room.

The new room had the same purple bricks, an unknown light source keeping the room lit. A closed, stone door sat on the opposite side of the room while a worn path stood in between. Six stone switches, in two rows of three, sat to the right and a golden switch hung by the door. Toriel walked the the center of the room.

"Welcome to your new home, innocent one," said the monster.

 _New home? Sorry, Toriel, but I don't plan on staying._ But Iji said nothing, so as not to be rude.

"Allow me to educate you in the operation of the Ruins. The Ruins are full of puzzles. Ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them."

Iji nodded, then turned to look at the sign on the far left. It was amazing that their written language was English. "Only the fearless may proceed," it said. "Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road." She then turned her eyes to the switches, and noticed that two of them, the ones in the middle were on a lighter section than the other four. _Is this the "middle road"?_ Iji proceeded to step on the four switches, then walked to the golden switch on the door and flicked it up.

Toriel watched patiently as the door shook and wobbled, slowly being pulled upwards. She then nodded to Iji and the two headed to the next room.

* * *

The scent of fresh water hit Iji like a pile of bricks, and she could see the crystal clear liquid flowing through the long hallway, bridges built over it for crossing. A convenient path was worn away in the slightly livelier grass. Vines hung from the purple, brick walls and a sign hung on the wall. Another picketed sign was struck in the ground in front of them.

"To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches," Toriel explained. "Do not worry, I have labelled the ones you need to flip." She then walked ahead and allowed Iji to explore. The first thing the Human Anomaly approached was the sign, which read, "Press [Z] to read signs!"

 _Weird. Some of the logbooks Dan hacked and the Tasen had said similar things. I never really got them._ She then saw another sign further on the wall, which read, Stay on the path.

She then walked across the bridge to meet up with Toriel, only to the notice the switches on her left. Toriel did say to trigger them, and the one immediately available had arrows painted onto the bricks pointing to the switch. Iji walked closer to see there was writing on the wall.

Please press this switch. -Toriel.

_What humans fell down here before me? Kids?_ This worried Iji, if Toriel really had this ready ahead of time for every human that fell. Shrugging, she flipped that switch, and Toriel, who was standing on a second bridge on the path, walked on, stopping at the end of the room, which was blocked by two metal tiles filled with spikes. There were two more switches, and only one of them was similarly marked like the previous one.

After walking over and flipping the obvious answer, after finding out that the other switch doesn't even work, Toriel clapped her paws together as the spikes receded. "Splendid! I am proud of you, little one."

Iji felt a bit degraded. She didn't take pride in her height, but it was a bit intimidating to see others taller than her. All the Tasen, all the Komato, and now Toriel. But she ignored it as she followed the monster to the next room.

There were no small rivers running through it, but it did curve to the left. The same purple brick lined the room, and the pathway on the ground seemed rather average. The only thing that made this room unique was an oddly shaped dummy in the center of the room on a dead end of the pathway.

This sight told Iji one thing; she was expected to fight. But she won't do that. Surely the monsters were different from the Komato and Tasen. Surely there was another way to handle them. And since they likely don't have Nanofields, she can't employ her usual tricks on taking them down without killing them herself, and she was sure the monsters were smarter and wouldn't kill each other trying to kill her.

"As a human living in the Underground, monsters may attack you," Toriel said with a trace of hesitation. "You will need to be prepared for this situation. However, worry not! The process is simple. When you encounter a Monster, you will enter a Fight." Iji was confused with the emphasis on that word. "When you are in a Fight, strike up a friendly conversation." This confused Iji. "Stall for time. I will come and resolve the conflict." Toriel then motioned to the dummy. "Practice talking to the dummy."

For some reason, Iji felt a little relieved. So there **is** a way to 'defeat' the monsters non-violently. But stalling for Toriel? She'd rather hope she could stop them on her own. Many times before, when she wished to talk to somebody to stop fighting, they either refused to listen, or were the ones to talk to her first with negotiations already in mind, like Vateilika and Ansaksie. Hopefully, the monsters would be more open-minded.

Iji approached the dummy, but wasn't sure how to begin. Her mind kept drawing up blanks, and eventually, she turned to Toriel for tips. "Do you need some ideas for conversation topics?" Toriel tilted her head slightly, her hands cupped together. Iji rubbed her nape awkwardly in response as she also put away her Nanogun; she could still kick enemies anyway, so she wasn't completely defenseless. Toriel raised a finger to her chin as she thought over it. "Well… I often start with a simple 'how do you do'. You could ask about their favorite books, Oh! Jokes can be useful for 'breaking the ice'." She suddenly looked as if she was struck with inspiration. "Listen to this one, What did this the Skeleton tile his roof with?"

Incidentally, Iji had heard this joke shortly before entering the Underground and knew the answer. "Shin-gles?"

Toriel smiled. "Absolutely correct! I'm sure you'll do fine."

"If you say so." Iji then glanced at the Dummy once again, taking Toriel's tips to heart as she walked up. She then noticed a slight glow coming from her chest, and once she looked down, she noticed that her SOUL was glowing red again through her shirt. Was this a Fight like Toriel said? Turning to face the dummy again, she mentally prepared herself.

Perhaps this time, she can stop a battle without simply storming past the enemy to reach the leader.

"Hello?" She attempted to sound half normal, but she worried if she got to into talking to a dummy, she might be accused of being insane. Which she probably already was, if Mia's ribbons were anything to go by. Even after seeing that one Komato logbook that stated the truth, she still clung on to the ribbons. And there was her view of pacifism, too, but hopefully she can be an actual one in spirit this time.

Naturally, the dummy did not respond, but Iji saw Toriel grinning out of the corner of her eye, and she felt her own heart warm. It felt… nice.

"Such a good child," She heard Toriel whisper softly to herself as she motioned for them to move to the next room. Iji felt her own smile lessen ever so slightly as she followed behind the monster. It was a little irritating, to be honest, but for all she knew, maybe monsters had longer lifespans and she really was a child in Toriel's eyes.

* * *

The next room was covered in the same purple bricks as before. And Toriel stood in the middle. "There is a puzzle in this room. I wonder if you can solve it." As she looked around, perhaps checking for monsters, Iji analyzed the pattern on the floor. Somehow, it seemed to be important. After a while, the two traversed a small, thinner hallway at the end of the room that connected to… another purple bricked room. Vines continued to etch up the bricks, occasionally breaking up the constant barrage of violet with the contrasting green. The only thing noticeable in this room was the odd shape of the twisting and turning pathway.

However, in the middle of their walk, just as Toriel bypassed it, Iji noticed a… frog in the middle of the pathway. Only its two front feet were visible, with three black dots on its chest. Between its two front feet was what appeared to be some small creature with a rounded mouth and eyes that excessively blink. It was bigger than any frog she's seen before, being as wide as Toriel's leg.

The frog was glaring at Iji, but its closed eyes left that to being just an assumption. She caught the faint glow of her chest out of the bottom of her vision, and she knew she was in another Fight. Remembering Toriel's advice, she decided to negotiate. "Hello?" she greeted. It continued to approach her. Being nice never really worked out for Iji, so she took out her Nanogun and aimed it straight at the frog. Only as a threat, but nothing more. If that fails, she can stomp on the floor close to it.

The frog didn't quite seem to understand, but from what she could tell, the threat worked, and it started to back away. Toriel then turned around, wondering what was keeping Iji, saw the frog, and then crossed her arms, glaring at the hopping beast. More then ever, Toriel's taller stature presented itself to Iji, and the frog away from the two, Toriel's glare then transferred to Iji.

The Human Anomaly understood the monster's disapproval and put the Nanogun away as her SOUL faded. "Sorry, Toriel. I swear I won't kill anyone," she promised. "Just a threat, nothing more. I promise."

Toriel's glare then softened and the two continued walking, but not before Iji took note of the sign on her left. The western room is the eastern room's blueprint. Eventually, the two reached the "eastern room", which was filled with water, and the only way through to the next room was a wooden bridge…that was filled with spike tiles.

"This is the puzzle, but…" Toriel trailed off.

Iji felt that Toriel was about to treat her like a child again and cut her off. "Toriel, I think I can handle this." Walking past the monster, and extending an arm to stop her from trying to stop her. With the pattern of the previous room in mind, Iji walked towards the spikes. Even if they weren't to recede, her Nanofield would protect her. Luckily for her, the pattern she memorized helped, and not once did her feet get stabbed. After seeing her make it past the spike tiles, Toriel immediately followed, walking in the same pattern.

"I guess I'm just too overprotective for my own good, Iji," the monster apologized.

"I'm guessing the other humans that came here before were all children, right?"

"Yes. They were."

With that, the two proceeded to the next room…which was more like a long, nigh-endless hallway. The end could just barely be seen, and the path swerved back and forth towards the other side of the room.

"You have done excellently thus far," congratulated Toriel as they walked. "However… I have a request to ask of you."

"What is it, Toriel?"

"I have to prepare my house for your arrival, and I don't think taking you there and leaving you there would—"

"I get it. You can't trust me with your home yet." (3)

"But I know you won't be content with just staying in one place, so…" She stopped at a pillar near the end of the room and Iji did the same. "I'd like to ask you to stay near here for a few minutes before following me and exploring the Underground. But please take your time. I trust you're independent enough?"

"Trust me, I am." _Ever since I got my Nanogun…_

"Thank you, Iji." She then offered an old cellphone that took the shape of an odd, square, black device with a small screen on the front with several buttons and numbers. There was even a cute keychain with a little red heart attached to the phone. "If you have a need for anything, just call. Be good, alright?"

Once Iji nodded in response, Toriel left the room. After waiting a while, Iji tried out the features and saw that the buttons lit up in green, and that the phone's menu (also in green) revealed a lot of features normal phones don't have, like Checking info on encountered monsters, being a "hammerspace" storage device (but she's keeping the Nanogun where she can feel it, despite its weight), checking her Health (which seemed to be separate from her Nanofield's Health) and stats, but no texting, just calling.

Iji also noticed something when checking her "status"; she had quite a bit of LV already, as Flowey had claimed; LV 10. Her HP was 56. AT (attack), 28 (?). DF (defense), 12 (?). EXP: 1337 NEXT: 363. Armor: Unknown (apparently, it doesn't have a name for her Nanofield). Weapon: Unknown. GOLD: 0. _So it doesn't identify my Nanogun. Then again, it likely doesn't know what that is. And the numbers in parentheses are meant to be extra from my equipment. Now how will I get Gold around here? Perhaps I should call._ (2) _  
_

Changing to the call feature, Iji located Toriel's number and dialed it. After ringing for several seconds, she heard a click as Toriel picked up. "Hello? This is Toriel."

"Hi, Toriel. I'd like to know how one earns Gold around here."

"Oh, well, that's easy. In a Fight, when you manage to get the monsters to spare you, either from acting in certain way or by…weakening them," Iji could sense the distaste in Toriel's tone upon saying that. "they will usually impart you with some Gold upon leaving. I guess I forgot to tell you this earlier back at the dummy. Is there anything else?"

"Perhaps you could tell me more about yourself." It's was nice engaging in small talk without the pressure of fighting around them (like her conversations with Dan, and the two alien races) or the pressure of survival (like with the other few surviving humans (and Tasen) after the war). Besides, she needs to know everything there is about the monsters. Maybe they could even help in rebuilding with the humans.

"You want to know more about me? Well, I am afraid there is not much to say. I am just a silly little lady who worries too much!" And with that the call ended.

"Huh," Iji wondered to herself. "I guess she's a bit shy."

Next, she accessed the storage device, which made the phone vibrate slightly in her hand and glow green. Suddenly, the screen had a small, floating ball that left the phone and appeared to be a separate entity entirely. From what Iji could deduce, the ball was glowing and looked to be made of thick green glass, but the inside seemed to be some sort of strange liquid that moved and flowed around inside of its glass bubble.

Testing it out, Iji reached into her satchel, took out a can of beans, and and tapped it lightly against the glass bubble. Surprisingly, the bubble indented slightly where she had tapped. Curious, she tried to poke the bubble with her pinky finger, but it bent around it as if it were a balloon.

Iji placed the can of beans inside the glass storage, the bubble surrounding the food item in the liquid, but leaving it in its own air bubble. She curiously returned the glass bubble with her phone, and the can disappeared along with it. She accessed the storage again and the bubble appeared once more, still with the can. Iji then reached for the can, and the glass bubble bent around her hand and eventually released the can as soon as her hand made it to the item. She took out the can, closed the storage feature, then examined the can for any changes. Seeing none, but knowing too much caution can lead to paranoia, she returned the can to the storage, then inserted one of her canteens as well before putting it away.

After messing with the options a little more, Iji considered using her Nanofield to hack it, but decided against it; she didn't want to break the phone Toriel gave her. Besides, it probably wouldn't work. Putting the phone in her pocket, Iji walked through the doorway and deeper into the Underground.

* * *

As Iji stepped into the next room, the purple brick becoming rather grating on her eyes, she noticed two pathways in which she could go down. The closest one to her was a doorway that seemed to lead to a dead end, from what she could gather. The second path was a long hallway that turned out of sight within several feet. A rather large amount of leaves were piled together in several different bunches scattered across the room. The dried scent of oak coated the room.

She also spotted two Monsters, one a frog and the other a strange ghost bug talking to each other in the center of the hallway. Her Cell Phone identified them as a Froggit and a Whimsun respectively.

There was no need to get involved with them right now, so she made for the seemingly dead end room…and confirmed that it was indeed a dead end. There were two small puddles on each side of the room, and a ivory pedestal stuck in the center that seemed to be growing up from the very earth itself. On top of the pedestal was a large bowl with a sign next to it.

Take One

Aware it may be a trap, Iji swiped one and made a dash out of the room. Unfortunately for her, her dash instantly alerted the Froggit and Whimsun from earlier and they approached her. And then Iji's SOUL began to glow and she knew she was in a Fight against them, not that she would. Compared to the aliens that had tried to kill her over and over, these monsters seemed to be very weak, and would probably be threatening to a child.

"You don't want to fight me," Iji warned as she took out her Nanogun.

"…I am… Just a Whimsun," the…Whimsun said before eyeing the Froggit behind it, then it floated away slightly. "… You're a human… Sorry…" It then released a several white moths that proceeded to circle Iji. The Froggit 'summoned' little flies from its mouth that flew in random patterns towards her. The moths seemed to just remain there, not approaching, but with the flies approaching, dodging would be hard, assuming they could get through her Nanofield.

A Froggit's fly that made contact with her proved that they can, as the moderate pain she felt as it dissipated upon touching her can attest to. _These monsters are something else! What kind of attacks are these? They couldn't be…magic, could they?_ She proceeded to dodge the rest after that, which was hard since back then she just marched through them (excluding explosives like rockets and other stronger Nanoweapons), regaining lost armor and health through dropped Nano, but that wasn't an option here. She'd have to find some other way.

As soon as the flies vanished, the moths did too. This was probably their attacks concluding for whatever reason. Iji took the chance to act. Aiming her Nanogun to the ceiling, praying it wasn't fragile or that there may be another monster up there, and fired a "shotgun" round.

The Nano-bullets that came out all hit the ceiling, and the gun had let loose a loud bang, startling both monsters. "Don't make me ask again, please," Iji pleaded. Immediately, the Whimsun immediately flew off, and the Froggit hopped after it. The Human Anomaly then sighed in relief before noticing the two coins they presumably dropped. _This must be the Gold the phone was talking about._ She picked them up, then pocketed them and put away her Nanogun before ruminating on what the Whimsun said.

She understood why being a human warranted being attacked. According to the legend, humans had locked away the monsters underground for eternity. This would understandably make those born and trapped here develop racism towards humans and consider them all evil. Remembering why she came here, she trudged on.

As Iji walked down the connecting hallway to the next area, she saw the floor ahead of her was cracked, and there were two vents presumably for those who may fall through. With the help of her Nanofield enhancements, she jumped over the cracks. Thankfully, the ceiling was high enough to allow for such a jump.

She decided to check the vents just in case there were more of these later on. They blew a chilling fresh air and were about Toriel's size. Inside the vents were ledges on the side, perfect for climbing.

She saw a row of spikes ahead in the next room, along with a rock and a weighted switch in the middle of the room. _Too easy._ She also took note of the sign to her left, which read, Three out of four grey rocks recommend you push them. While a little confused, she made for the rock before a ringing sound came with a vibration in her pocket. It was from the phone Toriel gave her. Iji promptly answered it.

_"Hello. This is Toriel. For no reason in particular… which do you prefer? Cinnamon, or butterscotch?"_

Iji thought about this for a few seconds, then answered, "Cinnamon." Honestly, she was fine with either, but she decided to choose one to make it easier. It was also dependent on what kind of food item Toriel would be making with it.

 _"Oh, I see. Thank you very much."_ And with that the call ended.

Iji barely put the phone away and took no more than two steps before the phone rang again

_"Hello. This is Toriel. You do not dislike butterscotch, do you? I know what your preference is, but… would you turn up your nose if you found it on your plate?"_

"Um, no. I like butterscotch, too."

 _"Right, right, I understand. Thank you for being patient, by the way."_ And the call ended once more.

Putting the phone away, and hoping Toriel wouldn't call again so soon a third time, she pushed the rock towards the switch with her legs and the spikes receded. She could easily jump over the measly line of them, but figured that solving puzzle would pass the time and buy some more of it for Toriel to prepare her home.

The call also made Iji wonder what monsters ate. Even though butterscotch and cinnamon were mentioned, they probably had different diets. Good thing she packed her satchel with plenty of supplies.

She encountered another Whimsun, but it fled before she could get a word in edgewise. Her SOUL barely had any time to glow before fading again.

* * *

The next room featured a pit with several holes scattered across the room, as well as a nearby vent like before. _Why were there holes already… Is it a puzzle? Or perhaps some other monsters had fallen in by accident?_ And then she noticed her SOUL glowing, after which she stood up, looked around, and found that another monster has 'run' into her.

Two, actually. And they looked like green Jell-O. Using her Phone, Iji identified them as Moldsmal. "Stereotypical: Curvaceously attractive, but no brains…" _What? Is the phone saying they're bimbos?_ Thankfully, she noticed their attacks, which consisted of several small pellets. Some approached her in a zigzag pattern, and others went straight before 'exploding' into smaller pellets.

Iji was starting to learn to dodge more, though she still took some hits. Wasn't much, though, if her phone's info on her health was any indication. Right now, she still had 50 HP out of the 56 she started with. Once their attacked stopped for now, Iji used her Phone to Check what she can do with them. The two options she had were "Imitate" and "Flirt". _That's weird. How do you flirt with a blob monster?_

As she was doing this, she had assumed a partial akimbo position, with one hand holding the phone and the other on her waist. The Moldsmals came a little closer and made a short wiggle in an attempt to imitate her. Puzzled, she shifted her weight from one leg to the other. The two Moldsmals attempted to imitate this as well. She repeated the process, feeling weirder as she did, and the monsters began to wiggle like ocean waves, plus a slight darkening on its front. _Wait…_

Iji checked the phone again, which now read, "You wiggle your hips. Moldsmal wiggles back. What a meaningful conversation!" She blushed as soon as she finished reading. _Did I just…flirt with them?_ she couldn't ruminate further on that as the Moldsmals attacked again, still wiggling. After enduring that, Iji hoped they could understand spoken words.

"Look, this is going nowhere. May I leave now?"

The Moldsmals stopped wiggling for a moment, and then, without another sound from them, they slowly began crawling backwards, leaving each one gold coin and a pair of slime trails behind. Iji reluctantly picked up the gold, wiped them on her pants, and shoved them in her pockets.

Now for the puzzle. The pit full of holes looked very hazardous, but surely there was a "safe" path, if this was also a puzzle. Iji took a step forward, but it turned out to be the wrong one and she fell through, landing on a patch of leaves right below. The fall wasn't really that far, to be honest.

As she got up, she saw that there were leaves all over the room, except for a part of it that made it look like a path. There was also a sign. Please don't step on the leaves, it read. _Wait, so does the clear path down represent the safe path above? Only one way to find out._

Iji made for the vent on the other end of the room, was relieved that she could fit, and climbed up until she found the exit. Remembering the 'path' set on the floor below, Iji followed it and made it safely to the other side.

Still, she wondered passing monsters constantly ruined puzzles for Toriel. It seemed like there was no obvious fix to a puzzle that had the ground caving in on itself, but since there was magic around here, maybe she could fix it easy.

Before she completely left the room, she ran into three more Moldsmals. She knew what to do with them, and left three gold pieces richer.

* * *

The next room had three rocks in it with three switches. It was like the previous one with that sign, just a little bit more rocks involved. There was a small river running through the end of the room, and a bridge running across to the doorway covered with spike tiles.

Iji decided to bypass the puzzle for once, approaching the spikes, and stepping on top of them. Her Nanofield prevented them from piercing her feet, but it still felt uncomfortable to step on them. Still, she trudged through and made it to the other side easy. While she could've easily jumped over them, she felt like needing a reminder that she still has her Nanofield and that it still worked, if only not against monster attacks.

A pair of Froggits 'blocked' the way, but this time Iji decided to use compliments to get them to spare her (and impart her with some Gold).

She was now in a small hallway with a mouse hole and a table with some cheese. And it smelled terrible! Iji pinched her nose as she walked right past it. Thankfully, there were no puzzles here. Even with her Nanofield, she's still vulnerable to aromas.

The smell of the previous room followed her to the next room, but at least the smell of oak reduced its effect…though the mixture left much to be desired. She saw a literal ghost in the doorway, though instead of being an incorporeal human shape, it was more like the simpler "bed sheet" variety. The ghost was laying down on a pile of leaves, its eyes closed shut. However, when she approached it, the ghost suddenly opened its mouth.

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… zzzzzzzzzzzzzz… zzzzzzzzzzz… (are they gone yet) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" The ghost was saying 'z' out loud repeatedly, pretending to sleep.

Confused, Iji decided on what to do. Maybe it would be a little rude, but perhaps jumping over it would be fine. After backing up a bit, she ran towards the sleeping ghost and leaped straight over. As soon as she landed however, her SOUL began to glow; somehow, that action provoked it to Fight her.

Turning around, she saw that the ghost had got up, was only a foot shorter than her, and their eyes consisted of two black circles painted where the eyes would be and a big white dot on top of each of those. Iji immediately Checked them with her phone. "Napstablook. This monster doesn't seem to have a sense of humor." _What?_

"oh, i'm REAL funny," the ghost said before shedding a shower of tears from their eyes straight at her direction. Even as she dodged them, upon landing on the floor, they crept along the walls before going in front of Napstablook, then going straight for her again. The tears hurt like an open would being treated with disinfectant. Even though she likely can't get wounded anymore with her Nanofield, she still remembers it from long ago.

After a while, the attack stopped, and it made Iji wonder how to appease the Napstablook. Or was it just Napstablook? She checked her phone for advice on what to do. The suggestions were "Flirt", "Threat", and "Cheer". They looked really sad, so Iji decided to cheer them up.

"Hey, Napstablook?" She still felt awkward talking with opponents trying to kill her. "I think you need some work, but I'm sure you'll be a great comedian someday."

"Heh…" a faint smile was visible for a moment on Napstablook's little mouth. And then they let off a sigh that turned into mist that swirled until some words were formed in the air. "REALLY NOT FEELING UP TO IT RIGHT NOW. SORRY," was what they spelled.

Iji decided to continue cheering them up. She felt really good doing this, being able to negotiate successfully. Thinking of a good joke appropriate for them, she asked, "Hey, Napstablook. Where do ghosts buy their food?"

"where?"

"At the ghost-ery store!" Iji said with an awkward smile.

"Heh… heh…" Cheering seemed to have improved Napstablook's mood again, though they seemed to cry again. Thankfully, these tears were easier to dodge and weren't as "intense" as the previous attack. Then they said, "c-can I show you something…?" Napstablook asked timidly.

"Um, sure," answered Iji.

"let me try…" A lot of tears started pouring out from their eyes, but instead of raining down on Iji, they defied gravity and moved upwards. When they reached Napstablook's head, they began forming something that looked solid (or as solid as Napstablook was). It wasn't long before a nice top hat had materialized to decorate the ghost. "i call it 'dapper blook'. do you like it…" Napstablook looked at Iji with eager eyes, awaiting their response.

Iji had to admit it was a pretty neat trick. "I think it looks nice."

"oh gee…"

_Oh no, did I say something wrong?_

"i usually come to the RUINS because there's nobody around... but today i met somebody nice... ... oh, I'm rambling again. I'm sorry for fighting you. It's just that you're a human."

Before Iji could get a word in edgewise, Napstablook vanished into thin air, and it made her sad again. And more determined to do what she needed to do. She wouldn't mind seeing them again. She reached into her pocket for the candy she swiped a couple rooms ago, and as she unwrapped it and popped it into her mouth, she checked her phone again and checked her stats. Her HP has gone down significantly.

At first, the candy tasted rather nice. It was a little chewy, rather sweet. But then she felt a slimy feeling down her throat as she chewed. And then it hit her: it tasted like a snail! She remembered having escargot once a long time ago, and it made her grimace upon eating it. But she decided to give it a chance and kept on chewing until it was completely consumed.

She nearly gagged after that, scraping her tongue with her teeth to get the taste off. Upon glancing at her phone again, she saw that her HP seemed to be closer now to her maximum. _Hold on. Did that candy restore my health? Man, this is feeling more like those RPG games. But this isn't a game, it's reality._

Shrugging, she continued walking forward.

* * *

The next room she went to was a dead end. It was just a small room, only containing two spider webs and a sign.

Spider Bake Sale. All proceeds go to real spiders, said the sign.

 _Odd. Then again, that's probably the norm here._ Iji approached the webs and saw signs that depicted a product and a price. Spider Donut for 7G. Spider Cider for 18G. For some reason, Iji decided to make a purchase, spending for a Spider Donut, which she was given by some spiders, then placed it in her phone's storage. Maybe there was someone who can be appeased with them. She didn't know why, but then again, she's done other obtuse things back when she first got her Nanogun without much sense into them in order to acquire certain bonuses, including the seemingly worthless yet powerful "Banana Gun" option.

Upon returning to the room where she met Napstablook, she noticed the other way out to her right. She went there, and saw a somewhat larger room with a row of three Froggits. they didn't seem to want to fight her, so she walked right past them. She also noted that the sign that was in the room just advertised the Spider Bake Sale she just went to.

The next room featured a sign to the left that read There is just one switch, six vents, six holes leading down, and a spike "roadblock". While she could get past the spikes easy, there was no telling what she might miss inside the holes. And so she made her way to the first one in sight…and naturally fell down, and onto a patch of red leaves. There was also some kind of root vegetable near the vent linking to the above floor. Picking up a nearby stick, she stood up, approached the plant, not sure if it might actually be a monster, and made to prod it. Before she could, the root surfaced…and revealed it had a face, and also revealed that it was a monster!

Iji's SOUL glowed, and she knew the Fight has already begun. As always, she used her phone to Check the monster. "Vegetoid. Serving Size: 1 Monster. Not monitored by the USDA." _USDA? But this isn't—_

"Part Of A Complete Breakfast" it said before spinning rapidly, sending out numerous vegetable shapes. Iji figured these were harmful, and evaded them as much as she could.

As soon as the attack ended, Iji asked, "Could we please talk for a bit?"

"Plants Can't Talk Dummy" was its response before continuing its attack, sending out another wave of vegetable shapes.

A grumble came from Iji's stomach and she clutched onto it. "Uhh… I need to eat soon. Must hurry to Toriel's."

The Vegetoid seemed to listen and said, "Eat Your Greens" before sending this time a wave of carrots from above. Iji dodged these, but failed to do the same for the one that looked green instead of white. Thankfully for her, instead of inflicting pain, it seemed to take it away, if only a little. After that, it burrowed deep underground, but not before ejecting four gold coins for her. After Iji picked them up, she went for the vent and got back up to where she fell.

The next hole she went to contained a faded red ribbon. For a second, Iji worried if she was hallucinating again, but upon closer inspection, she saw that the ribbon was real. She decided to pick it up, and store it in her phone.

The third hole contained a switch, which Iji flipped, after which she heard a noise pertaining to spikes receding from the floor. The fourth contained…Napstablook.

"What are you doing here?"

"i fell down a hole…" they replied. "now i cant get up… go on without me… wait, ghosts can fly, can't they… oh well…" And then they disappeared.

"Bye…"

The fifth hole had nothing to offer, and the sixth had another Vegetoid waiting, which she quickly took care of and left with four more Gold coins. Now that she has finished exploring the holes, she made to go past the now-lowered spikes and into the next room. Unfortunately, two monsters got in the way and her SOUL glowed to mark the Fight she was now in.

The first was bug-like like the Whimsun, bearing two antennae at the top of its head, bipedal, had two sharp fingers, bore two back lines on its underbelly, and had an oddly-shaped mouth. The second was a biped with two horns on the top of his head, a large eye on his face, and teeth under his eye.

Iji immediately Checked the first one. "Loox. Don't pick on him. Family name: Eyewalker." She chuckled a bit, remembering a movie she watched before involving laser blades and telekinetic-type powers.

"Quit staring at me," Loox said.

"FILTHY SINGLE MINDER…," said the other monster.

Their attacks consisted of several cockroach-shaped entities flying either side of Iji and several small "sphere-worms" emerging from one of those sides. She evaded as best she could, but she got his twice, once by the worms, and once by the roaches. Both didn't hurt that much.

Now knowing how to spare Loox, Iji decided to deal with him first. "I'm not gonna pick on you, I promise." She did her best to sound sincere.

"Finally someone gets it!" he said with a sigh of relief.

The other monster, however, was still looking intimidating. "LEGION! WE ARE LEGION!"

Their attacks continued, but this time, Loox's attacks were simply spheres that began to bounce around the room, somehow defying physics as they always headed back to her.

Once they stopped, Iji called out to Loox. "Since I won't pick on you, why not do the same?"

Loox's response was surprisingly fast. "…Sure thing!" He then lay down some coins before running off.

Once that happened, the other monster's disposition immediately changed to a happier one. "Nothin' like alone time!" And it proceeded to bounce in place, smiling while moving their arms in a wave-like motion, losing all interest in harming Iji.

Wanting to figure out its name, she Checked it. "Migosp. It seems evil, but it's just with the wrong crowd..." _So that explains it._

"Bein' me is the best!" Migosp continued to say as it continued dancing.

"Err, hi? Migosp?" Iji tried to get its attention.

"Hiya~" it greeted in a friendly manner, still dancing.

Curious, but grateful that it won't be attacking anymore, Iji said, "You look like a pretty good dancer, but I really have to go now."

"Okie-dokie! Take this, then! Chaaa, chaaa, chaaa!" With a rhythmic swing of its arms, Migosp threw a bunch of coins at Iji, and she caught them. After that, she went for Loox's reward and stored them too before waving goodbye to the monster.

Now that **that** was over with, she continued on. It would be rude to keep Toriel waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for now. I didn't want to write that confusing puzzle with the perspective and the switches, so I stopped here. Up next: Iji makes it to Toriel's house, the two eventually have their battle, Iji meets Flowey again, and she encounters two certain skeletons.
> 
> Apart from the fact that I'm using a different character, one major factor in some changes in dialog is that unlike the Human Child, Iji is an adult, and thus would think a lot more rationally. And given that there's so little characterization in Iji (compared to Undertale), I decided to take on a few liberties.
> 
> (1) I used this (fav.me/d9m5cs6) as a height reference.
> 
> (2) I chose LV 10 for Iji to represent the number of sectors she traverses in her game, and the Velocithor V2-10, the best non-secret weapon she can possibly get. While technically a pacifist, this only extends to her shooting the enemy herself or kicking stuff at them, so she can lead a lot of Tasen and Komato to their deaths with various actions. I didn't want the value to be very high, and we obviously don't know how much Undertale-style EXP Tasen and Komato 'give'.
> 
> (3) Originally, I was going to have Iji and Toriel continue to walk together and then the latter would leave the former at home, but I thought that Toriel live alone and probably wouldn't entrust its safety to a complete stranger, and I didn't want to discuss the issue of where exactly Toriel got her groceries in the Ruins, so I decided to follow canon a bit more.
> 
> See ya on Third!


	2. Out of the Bonfire, Into The Cooler

Disclaimer: _Iji_ belongs to Daniel Remar, and _Undertale_ belongs to Toby Fox.

Trivia: I beat The Undying and lost only 12 times in the process. Although I did have the benefit of watching previous Let's Plays by Russ Money and Jacksepticeye. Also, Doggo has Riddoch syndrome.

nightelf37: These will come up every chapter. I won't count the Gold or other stats.

Phone Inventory:

Beans Can, Canteen, Spider Donut, Stick, Faded Ribbon, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

This one however won't and is simply a reference for what Iji has here.

Iji's Nanofield

LEVEL: 50, HEALTH: 10, ATTACK: 7, ASSIMILATE: 10, STRENGTH: 10, TASEN: 10, KOMATO: 10, CRACK: 10

All Supercharges Collected, All Weapons (exc. Null Driver) Collected, Scrambler Not Acquired, Jump Upgrade, Armor Upgrade Level 3, Nanofield Reset Learned

* * *

Iji exited the previous room, thankful it was finally over. On the bright side, she ran into quite a few monsters and earned quite a bit of gold. In regards to healing, it turns out the Vegetoids were a good source and were willing to part with some of their body once they agreed to spare her. She was hesitant at first, but found out that for sentient plants, they tasted okay.

Somehow, the stick that she had used to poke the first Vegetoid she saw was still in her hand. She stored it in her phone, if only to see if it worked.

The room she was in now seemed to be a hallway with a fork to the left. There were also leaves both green and red, the latter scattered in the left-hand path. Up ahead, she could see a sleeping Froggit snoring softly next to what seemed to be a doorway to a balcony. As she wasn't the type to look for a fight, she bypassed it.

She walked into the balcony, her open agape as she stared into the skyline. Building after building, row after row of streets, an entire city laid before Iji, exposing all of its glory. It was a magnificent sight as the stone ceiling was carved upwards to mimic the sky above.

The sight made her think of how things were on Earth before the Alpha Strike.

She gazed into the city streets, noting that there were much fewer monsters in it than what the city suggested. Parts of the city were crumbling into the streets, while others fell on top of each other. In other words, the city was abandoned. It saddened Iji, and as she turned away, she took notice of a knife on the floor.

Upon closer inspection, the knife was actually a plastic toy. For some reason, she decided to pick it up and put it away in her phone. Upon exiting the balcony, she saw the Froggit was awake, but did not make any move to attack. Thankful for that, and feeling a little tired, she walked to the fork marked by the red leaves. If the next room didn't lead to Toriel's place, she was going to have to make camp.

The next room had a black leafless tree with red leaves all over its base. Iji couldn't tell if it was dead or if that's what trees are like in the Underground. Past the tree was a cute and tidy house, made with the same brick as the rest of the ruins. above the doorway was a sign that read Home.

And there was a familiar figure coming her way. "Oh dear, that took longer than I thought it would."

Toriel walked to one side of the tree and was about to call Iji when she realized that she was already here.

"Iji! I was just about to fetch you."

"Well, I'm here now," the human replied.

"That you are. Please come inside."

* * *

Iji's nose was assaulted with the scent of pie as soon as she entered the doorway with Toriel, making her stomach grumble. She hadn't eaten any of her rations so far, and it looks like she might not need to tonight. Or was it today? She remembered packing a wristwatch, and planned to put it on later, not having put them on before for reasons regarding her Nanofield.

Before her was a simple room. There were two doorways on both sides, and some stairs with a guardrail leading downwards to who knows where. In the upper right corner of the room was a small bookshelf with an unlit candle. A vase with some flowers sat in the opposite corner while a mirror hung over the stairs. The ground had wood flooring and the room was painted a pale tan.

"Do you smell that?" Toriel asked. Iji nodded, causing her to smile. "Surprise! It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie!"

_So that's why she asked. Probably forgot to ask her other question before hanging up the first time._

"I thought we might celebrate your arrival; I want you to have a nice time living here…So I will hold off on snail pie tonight."

_Ugh. Snail pie?! I'd rather try escargot again!_

Toriel chuckled at Iji's scowl as she led her guest down the right-hand hallway and to the door of a simple room. The hallway was painted a soft yellow, and various potted plants like water sausages and some red flower she can't recall the name of were scattered throughout the hallway. Small, unlit candles were attached to the wall at various points of the room, and an oriental rug hugged the ground underneath Toriel.

"Here's your room," she said as she opened the door. "I'm sorry if it's a little small." Her hand instinctively went to Iji's shoulder and she rubbed it. And then her nose twitched as she sensed something. "Is something burning? Um, make yourself at home!" And she ran off to the other hallway, which was more like a living room and presumably to the kitchen, probably to save the pie.

This left Iji to contemplate on the day so far. Should she keep trusting Toriel? After all, Flowey attempted to kill her after looking so friendly. Maybe this was a long-term trap. She hoped that wasn't the case. With that, she entered the room, and saw truth in Toriel's words.

It was a room fit for a small child and was painted red. A small bed with a box of toys sat in front. Next to the bed was a small cabinet. A red rug adorned the floor. Two lamps sat in the room, one next to the bed and the other on the opposite side near a chest of toys. There was also a shoe rack that held kid-sized footwear. On top of that was a very dusty and empty photo frame.

Fatigue caught up to Iji, especially after that confusing previous puzzle, as well as the hike up Mount Ebott to find the hole leading to this place. Immediately, she took off her satchel, set it on the floor next to her bed, and crashed for the night. Just in case she might be attacked in her sleep, she also took out the Nanogun from its holster and cradled it in her arms.

As she slept, she recollected past events. From life before the Alpha Strike, to her long battle against both Tasen and Komato before finally convincing them to stop destroying Earth completely, and what had happened after.

Sometime after the Tasen invasion and the destruction of much of her world, after convincing the Komato that followed them (to exterminate the Tasen) to leave them be, humanity began to rebuild, and worked with the few Tasen that have remained. A truce managed to form between the two races, and over time relations became more amicable.

During the rebuilding process, while she, Dan, and some of the Tasen she befriended visited a surviving village, they discovered legends telling of another race on Earth; the Monsters of Mount Ebott. According to the tales, they and humans lived together long ago, before war broke out between them. The humans had won, and (back when they still had magic) sealed the monsters underground. There has been some heated debate between Iji's group and the villagers, but it was decided that Iji should check it out, despite the legends also saying that those who climb the mountain never return.

Iji had decided if she wasn't back in a month, they would send a search party after her. When they were asked why a month, Dan rationalized that if the monsters Underground were still present, they would likely have a society of their own, and that means Iji would probably be busy making negotiations there.

Now that she was finally here, now that she had proof that they still survived and were making a living here, she had to know where their leader is so she can talk to them. She hoped Toriel would be supportive of her decision.

* * *

Iji awoke to the smell of pie. As she got up from her small bed, she looked around to see if anything has changed. Thankfully, none of her stuff seems to have been taken, though the ambient light in her room was now dimmed. There was a plate in the middle of the rug, though, and it held a slice of what must be the butterscotch-cinnamon pie. And there was a note that came with it, too.

Food items stored in the phone will remain in the same condition as you have inserted them in. Useful, right? -Toriel.

Indeed, it was. Still feeling hungry, but feeling she should be presentable while inside another's home, Iji searched her satchel for a change of clothes. While the Nanofield can protect from most forms of damage, it still can't protect from climates, illnesses, or stains. Unfortunately, that means unless Dan knows how to deactivate it temporarily, any form of surgery is out the window.

Along with a watch, she took out a dark gray shirt with a blue stripe across it, long light gray sleeves, and a dark green collar, extra socks, and another pair of black pants, longer than the ones she had now, which—come to think of it—were more like long shorts than pants, to be honest. She'd have to ask later if there was a bathroom or a means of washing clothes.

A couple minutes later, she had changed her clothes, put away her old ones in a plastic bag, and even decided to put on the Faded Ribbon she found; loose hair can potentially be dangerous if left unkempt. She was just too busy surviving back then (Mia's ribbons, hallucinations as they were, were too short), and didn't feel like doing so after getting the Komato to leave. Now that she was in the fray again, she can't have it getting in the way, but she didn't feel like having a haircut either, so she decided to use the ribbon to tie her hair into a ponytail. Maybe it looked ridiculous, maybe not, but Toriel didn't seem to be the type who minded. The Nanofield covered her entire body, and extended itself to cover whatever clothing she puts on, so there were no worries of not being ever able to get out of the clothes she had woken up in after the Alpha Strike, or of what she's wearing from suffering damage.

Leaving her room, and carrying all her stuff with her, she then made her way to the house's living room. It also seemed to be a dining room, judging by the table was set up at one end of the room for two adults and a child, a decorate plant on top. Toriel was sitting on a brown armchair next to the golden fireplace, wearing a pair of reading glasses and holding a book about snails in her hands. A warm bookshelf remained next to the fireplace with some tools for tending the fire in the corner.

"I see you're awake, Iji," Toriel greeted. "I believe it's time for dinner."

As she made to get up however, Iji said, "Actually, maybe I should cook instead. I'm still not accustomed to monster food just yet if there's a difference between it and human food, and—kind as you are—I'd want to trust my own food for now."

"Believe me, our food is safe for humans to eat."

"Oh, right." _Toriel had apparently taken care of other humans, children, before I came here. Of course she would know._ "But, maybe you'd like to give human food a try? I brought some with me when I came here."

The monster seemed to contemplate this. "Hmm…maybe a few bites won't hurt. Allow me to do the cooking, though. It's safer to use fire magic."

"So you use magic here?"

"Of course." Toriel closed the book and took off her glasses as she got up from her chair. "Don't humans have magic, too?"

Iji shook her head. "No. Not anymore, at least."

"I see. Well, let's get started."

* * *

Making dinner had been interesting. Food like burgers, eggs, milk, hero sandwiches, steak, instant noodles, and ice cream existed in the underground, but canned food that wasn't for pets was a sight for Toriel. There was even some pie left over, and the two were now at the table, eating together. As they ate, Iji noticed that the pie seemed to seamlessly dissolve into her mouth and rejuvenate her somewhat, though she pegged it on Toriel's skills. She had also taken a history book from the bookshelf and so far was at the following passage:

_Trapped behind the barrier and fearful of further human attacks, we retreated. Far, far into the earth we walked, until we reached the cavern's end. This was our new home, which we named…_ _Home_ _. As great as our king is, he is lousy with names._

They talked about a couple of things, including the barrier that kept them here, but because they had little in common, it wasn't long before Iji decided to talk about what happened on the surface. She began though with a question. "Toriel, this may be a strange question, but… " The Tasen's Alpha Strike hit the entire planet, so it must have affected Mt. Ebott and by extension the entire Underground. "Has anything strange happened within the past seven months or more?"

Toriel thought about this. "Now that you mention it, a huge earthquake hit here. So many monsters, including myself, had been scared when it happened. However, despite that, none of the tunnels seem to have collapsed unto themselves. Only in the old city is there proof that it happened at all, and it has long since been falling apart."

"Whoa. That must've been a miracle."

"Or maybe the barrier that traps us here also protected this mountain. Why do you ask?"

"Well…"

Iji explained what life had been before the Tasen Alpha Strike, and covered her entire story, starting with what the last scientists of the D.C.M.F.P.R. Research Facility did to her while she was in a coma before they died, continuing with her discovery that it had not been just the Facility that got hit but the entire planet, that she did not (personally) take a single life as he marched through all the soldiers trying to kill her, to make it to their leaders so they could leave, and getting herself tangled in the Tasen's last stand with the Komato. Starting from her awakening to finally getting Tor to call off the Komato, all of this happened in the span of two days.

Toriel shed a few tears when she heard the parts of her reunion and rescue of her brother Dan. Once she regained her composure, she asked why was Iji down here in the first place. The human's answer: find the monsters in this mountain, and negotiate peace between them and humans. By this point, dinner was done.

"That means I'll have to go to the Underground's leader—I think it's a king—and talk to him," she finished. "If it's too much to ask you to take me to him, could you at least lead the way?"

However, the reaction she got wasn't what she expected. Toriel expression had turned dark, as if what Iji had said offended her in some way. The monster refused to look at her and—after a few seconds of silence—said, "…I have to do something. Stay here." And with that, she got up from her seat, and made her way out of the living room, but not into the kitchen.

Iji thought something was suspicious and got up as well to go after her, seeing the monster head down the stairs leading down. She vaulted over the guardrail to close the distance further. Ahead, she could see that the stairs led to a long hallway, grading purple brick lining it. Toriel had stopped, seemingly allowing her to catch up. "Toriel! What's going on?"

Fire magic seemed to radiate off of the monster. "You wish to know how to get to the king, do you not?" For the first time, she sounded dangerous. "Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins. A one-way exit to the rest of the Underground. I'm going to destroy it."

_**What?!** _

"Nobody will ever be able to leave again. Now be good and go upstairs." And then she continued down the hallway.

Iji was extremely offended. The Tasen and Komato in general had treated her as insignificant because she was a human. Now Toriel was treating her like someone who needs sheltering from danger, despite the independence she displayed, despite the life story she confided to her. "Toriel!" she yelled as she followed. "I just told you why I came here! and you're going to stop me? Why?!"

"Every human that falls down here meets the same fate," Toriel replied as the continued down the hall, not once looking back. "I see it again and again. They come. They leave. They **die**. You naive human… If you leave the Ruins… that king you seek… **Asgore** … will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand? …go to your room."

"Don't treat me like a child, Toriel! What I told you at dinner was no exaggeration! What makes you think he even can when all those others couldn't?! I can convince him!"

Toriel did not dignify that with a response as the two reached a left-turn corner. "Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning," she said as she turned it.

Iji turned the corner as well and saw a large double door slightly less than twice as tall as Toriel. The air felt heavy, and she wasn't sure if it was from being this far underground. Beyond, she could sense cold air, almost like winter.

As the two finally stopped there, Toriel said, "You want to leave so badly?" Iji could sense the feeling of betrayal. "Hmph. You are just like the others. There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself… Prove to me you are strong enough to survive the world of monsters." Slowly, she turned around, her narrowed eyes sending a shivers down Iji's spine. Suddenly something in her paw sparked, her paw catching ablaze, a fiery glow in her eyes. And then Iji's SOUL glowed.

 _NO! I'm not going to fight Toriel!_ Iji marched straight for the door, intending to open it and go right past. Toriel wasn't like the others. Not like Krotera. Not like Asha. Not like Iosa. Not even like Tor. Toriel wasn't going to kill her, just try to scare her off. But after everything she's been through, a pyrokinetic monster wasn't that threatening. Even if her Nanofield was all but useless in this battle.

Toriel waved an arm and summoned a slew of fireballs from her hands in an attempt to dissuade the Human Anomaly and hurled them at her.

As she powered through them, Iji realized that when her SOUL gets hit, she gets a moment of invincibility, just like when her Nanofield's Health takes a hit either from Armor depletion or a Nanoweapon explosive. Bypassing Toriel and reaching the door, she made to push them open, but the monster grabbed her by the waist, proving to be also strong physically and hurled her back to the other end of the hallway.

Rolling as a result of that throw, Iji shortly got to her feet and started walking again to the door. Once again, as she made to push them open, and once again Toriel made to grab her. But this time, Iji kept her at bay by pushing her away with a leg. The doors began to creak open, but suddenly a huge explosion of fire sent her flying back again to the hallway.

As she got up, sorely hurt, Iji checked her phone…and saw that out of the 56 HP she had, she was down to 14! Toriel must be much stronger than the monsters she's faced so far to inflict this much damage. Still, she had to make a point here. To turn back was to give up. On talking to the king. On leaving the Underground. On seeing the surface, ruined as it was from the Alpha Strike. On seeing Dan again. And she'll be damned if she was going to let that happen.

Her energy sapped, Iji tried yet again to approach Toriel, weathering through her next fire attack. "What are you doing?" the monster whispered to herself, summoning up more fireballs in her palm and launching them at Iji in an erratic pattern. Well, not erratic, but they certainly made to weave left and right, making them difficult to evade.

It wasn't worth living if she was going to be stuck here forever, but for some reason, Iji trusted Toriel wasn't going to kill her. She decided to stand her ground; if opening the door and bypassing Toriel altogether was not an option, she would have to take advantage of Toriel's kindness—as bad as she would feel doing it—and hold her position. Not once did she decide to take out her Nanogun and fire a warning shot.

"Attack or run away!" Toriel launched more fireballs, which Iji started dodging, but some of them managed to hurt her further. After which, the rest of them immediately disappeared.

This confused Iji, as no other attack of Toriel's had done this. Still, she stayed her eyes on the monster.

"What are you proving this way?" Toriel's voice cracked as she unleashed yet more fireballs…but they purposely moved away from the human as soon as they almost made to hit her.

If Iji checked her phone, she would see that her HP has gone down to 3.

"Fight me or leave!" More fireballs.

"No." Iji decided to stay in place and keep her stare level at Toriel as her attacks moved out of her way.

"Stop it." Toriel said firmly.

The human took a step forward. The next fireballs continued to move out of her way.

"Stop looking at me that way," the monster averted her eyes while saying it.

Another step. More fireballs avoiding her SOUL.

"..."

Iji decided not to push her luck any further and stopped where she was. It wasn't like she could do this over if her next move turned out to be a mistake. (1)

"… …" Toriel turned her entire face away, her stern expression turning into a sad one.

It made Iji feel very guilty, even as the monster finally stopped hurling fireballs.

" I know you want to go home, but…"

 _What? I didn't say anything about going home?_ Iji was puzzled, but let Toriel continue.

"But please… Go upstairs now. I promise I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but… We can have a good life here. Why are you making this so difficult?"

_Could it be that all the humans that came before me were children, and they underwent the very same ordeal as I am? Why didn't I think of that? Why didn't I say a word?_

"Ha ha… Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single human." From her tone, it was obvious that Toriel was weary and tired from re-experiencing heartbreak after heartbreak.

Hopeful that Toriel wouldn't attack anymore, Iji approached Toriel until they were close enough for a hug. She wanted to know just how much was burdening her. "Toriel, just how many—"

But the monster cut her off. "No, I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down there. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this. My expectations… My loneliness… My fear… For you… I will put them aside."

And with that, Iji's SOUL stopped glowing. The human immediately moved to give Toriel a hug.

"I guess I was reminded of all the loss I felt that I forgot you were a capable adult instead of a helpless child," she continued, her hands now glowing green as she cast curative magic on Iji, restoring her HP. "I had also forgotten you still have a family to go back to, and that it would be cruel of me to force you to leave them behind, not to mention selfish. If you truly wish to leave the Ruins… I will not stop you. However, when you leave… please do not come back. I hope you understand."

"I do." And then they broke off from their hug.

"Goodbye, Iji."

Before Toriel could walk away, Iji grabbed her hand to stop her. "Toriel."

"Hm?"

"About King Asgore. Is there any advice you can give me? Anything at all?"

"…No. I'm sorry."

Iji shortly let go and saw Toriel walk on, turning the corner, leaving the Human Anomaly standing alone with her thoughts as she sorted them and her emotions out.

It took her a few minutes before she was ready to go. She needed to reach Asgore. Surely he'd be more understanding than the alien leaders she tried talking with long before. And as for the barrier, she hoped her Nanogun's strongest weapon, the Veloci—no, the Massacre, would be able to tear it down. Just how strong was the barrier, anyway? _I mean, even if it survived the Alpha Strike, surely that's mostly thanks to the mountain itself, right? and even if it did, surely another blow would finally break it, right?_

Shaking off her doubts and facing the door, she pushed them open wide…and saw a very long hallway. Steeling herself, and taking out her Nanogun in case another monster was waiting, she marched forward in silence. _I will return one day, Toriel._

It took a long time, but she finally made it to the end, where she found herself in a room similar to where she first met Flowey and Toriel. And to her mild surprise, Flowey indeed was there.

"Clever. Verrrryyy clever," it said condescendingly. "You think you're real smart, don't you? In this world, it's kill or be killed."

Iji scowled upon hearing that. It was very "social Darwinistic". She didn't kill when she woke up; she wasn't going to start now.

"So you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of a single person. Hee hee hee…" It then frowned. "I bet you feel pretty great. You didn't kill anybody this time."

Damn right, she didn't. And without going technical about it either.

"But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? You'll die and you'll die and you'll die. Until you tire of trying."

Iji decided it was time to talk back. "You really think that little of me?"

"What will you ty to do then?" Its face then turned monstrous. "Will you kill out of frustration?"

 _I won't, and I never will._ Though Krotera had been was killed by Vateilika, Sentinel Proxima was a machine and its artificial stupidity killed itself anyway, Iosa was killed by Ansaksie, Asha killed himself after she avoided him altogether, and Tor also committed suicide after she beat him. What **if** there will be no outside circumstances next time? What then? She hadn't thought of that.

"Or will you give up entirely on this world…and let **me** inherit the power to control it? I am the **prince** of this world's future."

_Wait, what?_

"Don't worry, my plan isn't regicide. This is **so** much more interesting." Its face then expanded and it laughed maniacally before shrinking back and Flowey retreated down into the soil.

If left Iji deep in thought again. _What's going on here? What have I gotten myself into? Dammit. Only one way to find out._ She moved forward, past Flowey's spot, and into the doorway ahead.

* * *

Phone Inventory:

Beans Can, Canteen, Spider Donut, Stick, Toy Knife, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Once Iji made it to the other side, what she saw took her breath away. Ahead of her was a snow trail, there was a large bush to her left, and the trees were clumped too close to each other for her to pass through. She **could** blaze a trail with her Nanogun, but she needed to conserve the ammunition.

 _How does this even work? What is the extent of monster magic?_ Iji thought as she checked the bushes for any ambushers, only to see what looked like a surveillance camera. _What? What is this doing here? Who's watching me?_ But there was nothing she could do about it, so she decided to leave it be and walk along the trail.

Along the way, she found a huge branch. She passed it by, but not 15 steps later, she heard a noise. She didn't know what it was, but when she turned around, the branch had been broken. Feeling a little tense, Iji walked a little faster, but it took only a while before that sound happened again. More alert this time, she took out her Nanogun as she reached what seemed to be a wooden fence meant to keep out intruders…only they were wide enough for a child to pass through, and low enough for Iji to jump straight over. It also spanned a small chasm with only a plank bridge without any guardrails as a means to walk across.

Before she could think about doing that, a voice came up right behind her.

"Human," a masculine voice said. "Don't you know how to greet a new pal?"

 _How did it sneak up on me with all that snow? And so fast, too!_ Iji swiftly turned around and aimed her Nanogun at…a short and big-boned skeleton with a perpetual grin on his face and small white circles for eyes. He wore an unzipped blue hoodie, a white t-shirt or sweater (or was that his ribcage she was looking at?), black shorts with white stripes, and a pair of pink bedroom/bathroom slippers.

The skeleton seemed to be unfazed with the weapon aimed straight for his face. Maybe he doesn't know what it does, but she refused to believe he was that naive. Maybe he's confident in his ability to dodge or otherwise negate her attack, not that she would pull the trigger. Maybe he knows she wouldn't go through with it. Or maybe she was worrying too much about Asgore and Flowey.

In any case, the skeleton extended a hand, which didn't look at all like a skeleton's. Then again, he was probably a monster and thus can get away with not being all akin to a skeleton.

Iji decided she should take it. If he was friendly, not taking it would be rude. If he wasn't, they'd start fighting, and she didn't want that. Noticing he was extending his left, she lowered her Nanogun and did the same. The moment their hands tightened in their grip… the sound of a whoopee cushion came out. The ridiculousness of the sound managed to put a small smile in her face.

"heheh… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick," he said. "it's **always** funny."

"Yeah," Iji found herself agreeing as they broke off and the skeleton put his hands back to his pockets. "I guess it is."

"anyways, you're a human, right? that's hilarious. i'm sans. sans the skeleton."

"Iji. Iji Kataiser."

"im actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now."

Iji immediately aimed her Nanogun at Sans again.

"but… y'know… i dont really care about capturing anybody."

"Oh?" She didn't quite believe him.

"now my brother, papyrus… he's a human-hunting FANATIC. hey, actually, I think that's him over there." Iji turned to where Sans was looking, but saw no other living beings, skeletal or otherwise. "i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone."

The two walked through the gate, Iji still feeling a little weird as she ducked along the way.

"quick, behind the…uhh, stand over there."

Indeed, in the area, there seemed to be what looked like a sentry guard's station filled with condiment bottles (the type for hotdogs), a lamp conveniently shaped like a human child, and two small bushes filled with snow. After returning her Nanogun to its holster, Iji made a dive for the station. Shortly thereafter, she heard the footsteps of another person coming to this area.

"sup, bro?" Sans greeted whoever came.

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S 'SUP,' BROTHER!" an exuberant male voice came. "IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!"

Iji risked a peek and saw what must be Sans' brother, Papyrus, who was a tall, perhaps anatomically inaccurate skeleton with a skull shaped in a straighter and more geometrical structure (in contrast to his brother's more rounded skull). His mouth seemed to be in a smile shape most of the time and his eyes are pupil-less, resembling vertical slits, and 'pseudo-brows' to emulate expressions. He was wearing a custom-made costume made up of a white torso piece with various golden trims (and embroidered with a strange symbol she barely identified from an old video game), a rough red scarf or cloth around his neck, red gloves (trimmed with gold), blue briefs with a golden belt, and long red boots. His spine, legs and arms were covered by black sleeves.

"staring at my station," Sans replied. "it's really cool. do you wanna look?"

 _What?_ gasped Iji. _Sans means to betray me?!_

"NO!" Papyrus refused as he stomped on the ground with his left foot. "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!"

She sighed inwardly in relief. _Or was that reverse psychology?_

"WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE?! I WANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!" The taller skeleton then assumed a pose as his cape fluttered in the non-existent wind. "THEN, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT… RECOGNITION! I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK, TO, BE MY, 'FRIEND'? I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING."

"hmm…maybe my station will help you," Sans suggested.

This got Papyrus stomping again. "SANS! YOU'RE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS STAND AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!"

"hey, take it easy. i've gotten a **ton** of work done today. a skele- **ton**." He immediately winked at…something to his right.

Papyrus seemed incensed at the pun. "SANS!"

"come on. you're smiling."

"I AM AND I HATE IT!" He then let out a sigh. "WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME… HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET RECOGNITION…"

"wow, sounds like you're really working yourself… down to the **bone**."

That joke was funny enough (on top of the humorous exchange) that Iji was struggling not to laugh out loud.

"UGH! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES… AS FOR YOUR WORK… PUT A LITTLE MORE… 'BACKBONE' INTO IT!" Papyrus then let off a loud laugh, which also masked Iji's own laughter as she couldn't take it anymore. Both of them finished laughing at the same time and the tall skeleton shortly left, but not before doing one more "HEH".

Iji hadn't laughed like that for a long time. While poking Vateilika over and over and hearing her past with Yukabacera as a result was amusing, they were both inside a Komato ship during that, on top of the entire war and everything.

After a while, Sans said, "ok, you can come out now." And she did. "you oughta get going. he might come back. and if he does… you'll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes."

"Thanks, Sans," replied Iji as she made to leave.

Just before she could take the path Papyrus took, Sans spoke. "actually, hey. hate to bother ya, but can you do me a favor? i was thinking… me brother's been kind of down lately. he's never seen a human before. and seeing you might just make his day."

"Are you sure about this, Sans?"

"don't worry, he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be."

"I think I noticed."

"thanks a million. i'll be up ahead." And with that, Sans walked…toward the path the two took earlier. When Iji looked back to the path ahead, she realized the trees were comparatively shorter, and were evergreens. And then she noticed something else. Among the trees behind Sans' station was a camera, just like in the bush from earlier. Who was watching her? Was this the kingdom's surveillance system? Shaking off those thoughts, and hoping Sans was right, she walked down the path.

* * *

The next area consisted of the path bending a bit to the left before going to the right again, as well as a separate path to her left, which led to a river, judging by the sound of flowing water. At the corner of the detour and the path ahead was a sign and a box.

Iji decided to examine the sign, which read, This is a box. you can put an item inside or take an item out. The same box will appear later, so don't worry about coming back. Sincerely, a box lover. _Hmm…is this supposed to be some sort of storage network or something?_ She opened the box to reveal… a pink leather glove. It was too small for her hand, but she decided to keep it anyway in her phone. As for testing it out, she decided to use the can of beans she put in her phone and put it inside the box.

She wasn't even three steps away from the box before her SOUL glowed and a native monster swooped down from the sky.

It was a giant ice blue bird, only slightly shorter than Iji. Its big head somewhat resembled a snowflake, its wings did seem a bit small to actually fly, but what really caught Iji's attention was its beak. It had several teeth here and there, but they were moving, as in the upper ones and the lower ones moved in opposite directions like they were attached to treadmills inside the monster's beak.

As if things couldn't get worse. Another monster made themselves known and strutted out from the trees to join this monster. It was a small humanoid figure made of snow with a disproportionately large head. It had large, sunken eyes and a rotating, drill-like nose. It proudly wore a Mohawk-shaped hat made of ice, which was colored like a tourmaline.

As the two posed like a duo of "bad boys", Iji proceeded to use her phone to Check each of them.

"Snowdrake. This teen comedian fights to keep a captive audience. Ice Cap. This teen wonders why it isn't named "Ice Hat"."

"Better not "snow" flake out!" said the Snowdrake as he launched boomerang-shaped projectiles that looked like feathers and either arced towards Iji or just went in straight lines as he fluttered around.

"Your head looks so… NAKED!" gasped Ice Cap as it emitted a "wave" that restricted her movements. The hits that landed on her made her feel cold as they sapped her HP.

While the attacks went on, Iji was already thinking of what to do to spare them. She decided perhaps making a joke would help… break the ice. Maybe that would work.

"If you're alone and get too cold, you might become ice-olated."

Snowdrake didn't seem to be amused. "Hey…"

Ice Cap on the other hand was, and rolled on the snowy ground. "Ha! Imitated it spot- on!"

The avian was incensed, puffed himself up, and shot more feathers, while the hat-wearer, whilst laughing, summoned top hat-like objects on the ground, which began to launch chunks of ice upwards, which of course fell back down.

Iji had to act quick and console Snowdrake. But just as she managed to think of one, a hit caused a brainfart, making her forget. Meanwhile, Ice Cap had rolled off somewhere, and dropped some gold coins.

Snowdrake decided to try again. "M… m… macaroni and "freeze"!" And then it launched more projectiles. For some reason, his attacks were more ferocious. Perhaps it was because Ice Cap was no longer there to help attack.

If joking back wasn't working for Snowdrake, maybe laughing will. And that's what she did. Honestly, his joke wasn't the best of jokes, but it was good enough.

"You have good taste! (in jokes)." he replied as he launched more projectiles as he laughed. This time, they were easier, as none of them arced and just went straight.

Iji was able to avoid getting damaged, and decided to converse again. "Hey, Snowdrake." The monster stopped laughing. "I'm not sure if you know, but if you could point me to someplace where I can camp, that would be great."

Snowdrake narrowed his eyes at her for a second, then made his answer. "I know someplace better. Snowdin isn't too far from here. Not exactly close, but it's your best bet for now. There's an inn there called the Snowed Inn." Iji scoffed at the pun, eliciting another smile from the avian monster. "Oh, but it's kind of expensive… If I remember correctly, last time I checked, their fee was 80 Gold." Snowdrake ruffled its feathers a little with its beak until it extracted a small pouch and tossed it to Iji. The human opened and saw a bunch of gold coins inside. "It's not much, but I hope it can cover part of the fee."

"Wow." Iji was a little impressed. "Are all monsters this generous?"

"You don't seem to be that bad for a human. I can't really speak for the others, though. Well, time for me to go! I need to find more people who will appreciate my puns! Take care, human!" With a last fluttering of its wings, Snowdrake retired back into the forest. And Iji's SOUL stopped glowing.

"Huh. That was interesting." Iji sighed in relief as she made her way to where she heard the flowing water.

Turns out there was a river. And there was a fishing rod affixed to the ground. Curious, Iji decided to reel it in. Attached to the hook was a photo of a weird looking monster. "Call Me! Here's my number!" it said.

It wasn't a good idea to call strangers, but since she was in unfamiliar territory, she needed to know everything she can about it and decided to actually call it. During the ringtone, Iji realized that the monster had been literally 'dropping a line', but she couldn't remember what the idiom meant. Just then, somebody answered.

"Hello?" they said. It was male.

"Um, hi."

"…Oh…my…gosh!" His next words implied his phone was away from his mouth. "I can't believe it! Somebody actually called my number! They said it wouldn't work. They said I was crazy. Let's see who's laughing now!" And he started laughing.

Iji was dumbfounded with whom she had called. Then again, it was that of a total stranger. Given general opinion on humans, she was a bit hesitant in following this path. "Um, hello?"

He stopped laughing. "Oh, right! What can I do for you, miss?"

"Shouldn't we give out our names first?"

"Right. Right. My name's Nishibi. What's yours?" (2)

"Iji."

"So, Iji, Wanna—"

"I think I get why you decided to drop a line, but I'm not exactly looking for a date."

Nishibi sounded really disappointed. "Aww…"

"But I could use some help. I need directions to…" She feigned recalling the name from Snowdrake. "…Snowdin. I'm at where you left your fishing rod."

"Well, you're a lucky gal! I, Nishibi, will relay instructions."

Realizing this may take long, even if she had a good memory, she decided to speak up. "Hold on a second." She fumbled in her satchel for something, producing a Tasen logbook Dan decided to take from the facility. He knew how to hack into them and type in English text, and he was able to teach her the same. "Ready."

* * *

"I hope that helps. See you at Snowdin. You know what I look like."

"I will. Bye." And the call ended. _Well, that was certainly an interesting conversation._

With no other paths to go, as she put the phone and the logbook away, Iji took the one that took her past the box, and found herself confronting Sans and Papyrus in the middle of a conversation.

"SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE…" the taller of the skeletons cut himself off as he took notice of Iji. He then turned to Sans, who in turn turned to her, and then he turned to his brother, who **in turn** turned to her. This exchanged continued with increasing speed until they started spinning wildly before stopping to face her, then turned their backs. "SANS! OH MY GOD! IS THAT… A HUMAN?!"

Sans turned to face his brother again. "uhhhh…actually, i think that's a rock."

"OH."

Iji sneaked a peek back and indeed saw a rock right behind her. _Does Sans really mess with his brother like this?_

"hey, what's that in front of the rock?"

Papyrus turned to face Iji again, who stood there unassuming. "OH MY GOD!" He whispered to Sans, "IS… IS THAT… A HUMAN?"

"yes"

"OH MY GOD! SANS! I FINALLY DID IT! UNDYNE WILL… I'M GONNA… I'LL BE SO… POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR!" Papyrus then addressed Iji as he cleared his throat. "HUMAN! YOUI SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN… THEN! I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S NEXT."

Iji resisted the urge to face palm. Before she could say that what she came here to do, he was speaking again. "in any case! CONTINUE… ONLY IF YOU DARE!" He took off laughing as he ran further down the path, leaving his brother behind.

After a couple of moments of silence, Sans spoke. "well, that went well. don't sweat it, iji. I'll keep an eyesocket out for ya." And with that, he walked after his brother.

Once they were gone, following the instructions Nishibi gave her, Iji walked after them, her Tasen logbook out as she read. But just as she reached a guard station, she received a call from her phone, and answered it.

"U-uhhh… (Oh my god, help…)" The voice seemed to be that of a socially-awkward female. "I'd like to order a … Umm… A pizza…? With, uhh… The toppings are, uh… I have them copied, I'll just paste them to you." A monotone voice proceeded to spell out letters, numbers, and symbols.

Iji realized that somehow, even though the phone could not receive texts, the local network realizes it and narrated them out loud. She quickly started typing the characters in her logbook. Once she was done, as the caller put down her phone, Iji took a look at the characters that were spelled out and was surprised. From an ASCII perspective, the characters depicted a picture of an animé catgirl. And nowhere in the picture does it read any pizza toppings. It was amusing, though, so Iji decided to keep it.

Turning her attention to the guard station, which was actually a giant cardboard box cut and folded to look like the one Sans has, she saw some words on it. They read, "YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER… I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN! (NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.)"

Chuckling to herself, having found Papyrus's station, she moved on. But not before taking note of the camera she almost missed just behind it.

* * *

"Aboslutely NO MOVING!" read the sign.

Iji stood stock still, standing by should something strike. After several minutes, nothing happened and she walked on. As soon as she walked in front of the sentry station, which had the image of a dog on top as well as the type of bell seen in offices on the 'desk', a furry black-and-white head popped up from behind its counter, making Iji freeze once again. _Was this the one who wrote the sign?_ It seemed to be a dog-like monster (a Rottweiler, to be exact), his suspicious gaze darting from one place to another. Despite standing right in front of him, his eyes didn't seem to focus on her.

"Did something move? Was it my imagination?" he asked as he jumped outside of his station, revealing to be a biped, though was only a foot shorter than Iji. The monster wore a pink tank top that had the face of a white dog on its front and a pair of yellow pants that had a cheetah-dots pattern. Iji stifled a chuckle, but the canine seemed to hear it and turned to face her.

"I can only see moving things. If something **was** moving… For example, a human…" The dog materialized a pair of daggers. "I'll make sure it **never** moves again!"

And just like that, Iji's SOUL began to glow. _Dammit._ She flinched, then knew that the guard has seen her. Quickly, she Checked him using her phone.

"Doggo. Easily excited by movement. Hobbies include: squirrels."

"Don't move an inch!" Doggo said as he put his two daggers side to side in front of him. The blades soon began to glow light-blue and joined to form a luminous longer sword. Doggo closed his eyes and started to move it from right to left like a scanner. Against her better judgment, Iji decided to endure the blow to see how much damage she'd take. The weapon phased right through her body as if it were a ghost, but minus the chill.

 _So blue attacks don't hurt if I stand still. If the monster is canine, I wonder if…_ Her phone still out, she accessed her inventory, took out the stick, and tossed it. Much to her surprise, Doggo sheathed his daggers and ran to fetch the stick.

"HUH! A FUN STICK APPEARS!"

The two then proceeded to play fetch for a while. Iji felt really weird, thwarting who was essentially border patrol by playing fetch with them. Obviously, this would not work on all canines, but it was nice to try this out first. After a few minutes however, Doggo came out of his daze, realizing how he'd been acting. He shook his head and rapidly stood up, the stick in Iji's hands. Nervously examining the area around him, he backed up a couple of feet, Iji's SOUL fading once more. Finally, Doggo jumped back in his sentry station while mumbling to himself.

"A stick appeared out of nowhere, then disappeared. Was it a ghost stick? Did I just return it to the afterlife? I need some dog treats to think about this." And then a bag was flung from the structure, landing right in front of Iji. She took it and saw that it was a bag with 30 Gold! "Take this money and leave me alone, you- you… stick summoner!"

Iji continued to wait until Doggo's head was totally covered by the counter of his sentry station before moving. Just then, she smelled a horrible stench. It was on the left side of the path. It was a couple of reddish bones that had been burnt halfway. _Ugh. He's a smoker? Geez._

* * *

The next area was a frozen over lake with a patch of land in the middle with a sign. There was also a path ahead, and to the left. Oh, and Sans was waiting for her.

"hey, here's something important to remember," he said. "my brother has a very **special attack.** if you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you."

"I think I already know that with Doggo back there."

"good for you. guess you don't need me."

"Perhaps you could tell me if anything strange happened seven months ago? Like an earthquake?"

"why do you ask?"

"Just wondering how the Underground was affected by it."

"i see. well, there was an earthquake. shook off all the snow from the trees. monsters panicked for a while. nothing special, really. we're still stuck here, though."

"So, no huge chunks of the mountain fell? The earthquake was really powerful."

"the barrier's very strong. you humans really made it to last."

"I see. I was actually thinking of turning myself over to Papyrus. I came here to speak to the king."

"I wouldn't recommend doing that, iji. papyrus hasn't had this much fun in a long time. I want it to last, so do me a favor and just humor him. besides, you don't even know much about king asgore. don't you think you can learn more about him by talking with the citizens?"

"I guess you're right. I'll entertain your brother a little while longer."

"thanks. i owe ya."

* * *

The detour took Iji to a cliff side with a snowman at the end. She approached it cautiously, remembering Flowey.

"Hello," it then said. "I am a snowman. I want to see the world. But I cannot move… If you would be so kind, traveler, please… Take a piece of me, and bring it very far away."

"Are you sure? It could melt long before I get there. And how will you know?"

"The snow I am made of is different from ordinary snow. It'll last. I know where every part of me is, and it can heal you for a lot if you eat it, but I'll be very disappointed with you if you do that."

"If you say so. Which part should I take?" asked Iji as she approached the snowman.

"Anything you want. Just don't take too big a chunk, though."

She put her hands into the snowman's body, and took a ball of snow as large as her fist, then stored it inside her phone.

"Thank you… good luck!"

Iji waved she snowman goodbye before going back to the lake and skidding across its surface to check the sign. Snowdin was at the east, and in all directions (including Snowdin) was Ice. With only one way to go, she went east.

But before she could do that, she felt her SOUL glow again. Seeing no enemy in front of her, she turned around, and saw another Ice Cap. This time, its hat was blue.

Last time she dealt with one, it was with a Snowdrake. Alone, she was confused in how to deal with it. Checking her phone, she saw that among her choices were Compliment, Ignore, and Steal. Given it was an attention whore, she figured that she should choose Ignore.

Noticing her turn her attention away, it said, "HELLO? My hat's up here." It tried to get her to look at it by spawning "top hats" that shoot ice chunks.

Iji wasn't inattentive, though, and easily evaded its attacks. She continued keeping Ice Cap at her peripheral vision, seeing it check if she was looking at its hat, but she wasn't going to be swayed. It didn't look that fabulous as it was making it out to be, anyway. Thought that's probably purely from her perspective.

"OK! I'll ignore you too," Ice Cap conceded as it repeated its previous attack.

Once that attack ended, Iji said, "Since we're gonna ignore each other, do you really need to stick around?" She hoped it wouldn't instead do anything drastic like demand attention in ways other than its hat.

"…Right. Take this!" Ice Cap then hurled a pouch of coins that hit Iji in the face, though it didn't even hurt thanks to her Nanofield. She was unamused either way, but it was already gone. Then again, she did outright ignore him, so he was entitled to that.

* * *

The next area consisted of a strange darkened square area between her and the two awaiting skeleton brothers, who were currently conversing with one another.

"YOU'RE SO LAZY!" Papyrus complained. "YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!"

"i think that's called… sleeping," Sans corrected.

"EXCUSES, EXCUSES!" And that's when the two noticed that Iji was watching them. "OH-HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU, MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE…QUITE SHOCKING!"

_An electric-based trap? Wonder if my Nanofield can protect me from that?_

"FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE… ELECTRICITY MAZE! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE, THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP!" In the middle of this, Papyrus procured said orb, which was made of Paraiba tourmaline. "SOUND LIKE FUN? BECAUSE! THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE, IS ACTUALY RATHER SMALL I THINK. OK, YOU CAN GO AHEAD NOW."

 _Well, either this will be easy, or I'm in for a real shock,_ Iji mused. _I won't have to worry about it killing me, though; he wants to capture me_ _ **alive**_ _._ She marched forward, but as soon as she entered the darkened zone, she heard the sound of an electrical shock. And it was coming from Papyrus, to her puzzlement (and slight concern). It only seemed to cover him in soot, though, and he quickly shook it off.

"SANS! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" he demanded of his brother.

"i think the human has to hold the orb."

"OH, OKAY." With that, the taller skeleton walked his way to Iji…inadvertently giving her the solution to the puzzle as he approached her. And judging by his stature, he towered over her by just 5 inches. "HOLD THIS, PLEASE!" As soon as he handed the orb over, he quickly dashed back the way he came. "OKAY, TRY NOW!"

Rolling her eyes, Iji decided to march through the darkened sector, deviating from the path Papyrus "laid out". The orb delivered its promised shock, but her Nanofield kept her from harm. Apparently, this electricity wasn't magic enough to go straight through.

Papyrus was amazed as Iji made her way to his face. "INCREDIBLE! YOU WEREN'T THE SLIGHTEST BIT AFFECTED! YOU MUST HAVE NERVES OF STEEL! I'M SURE YOU AND UNDYNE WOULD GET ALONG WELL! HOWEVER, THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE AS EASILY THWARTED BY BRUTE FORCE! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!" And then he moonwalked out of the area. But Sans was still here.

Iji walked over to him and handed over the orb. "Your brother forgot this."

"thanks, iji," he replied. "my brother seems like he's having fun."

"I feel like we're babysitting a younger brother."

Sans shrugged his shoulders. "well, that's because he kinda is."

"Really?"

"yeah. I'm actually the older of the two. by the way, did you see that weird outfit he's wearing?" She nodded in response. "we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. he hasn't worn anything else since... keeps calling it his "battle body." man... isn't my brother cool?"

"I guess he is. Well, I better keep on trudging on to Snowdin."

"good luck."

* * *

At the next area, Iji saw what looked like a transportable ice cream stand with a red-and-yellow umbrella. Tending to it was a light blue furred rabbit-like monster. He had a red nose and a tuft of fur sprouting from the top of his head. He wore a bright yellow short-sleeved shirt with a single, vertical red stripe in the middle, and bright red pants.

Hoping he wasn't one of those attack-on-sight monsters, she approached him and heard him mutter to himself. "I don't understand why these aren't selling… It's the perfect weather for something cold…" The second he noticed the human right in front of him, his face lit up. "OH! A CUSTOMER! Hello! Would you like some Nice Cream? It's the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just 15G!"

"Sure, I'll have one." Iji brought up the gold and he gave her an ice cream bar. Or should she say, a 'Nice Cream bar'.

"Here you go! Have a super-duper day!"

But she wasn't done. She did know a bit about commerce. "I got some advice for you, sir. Cold treats in cold weather don't make for good sales. Try looking for a hotter venue."

He seemed to appreciate the advice. "Thanks. I sure will."

Nodding to him farewell, Iji proceeded to the small wooden bridge just ahead. In front of her was another darkened zone, and there was a snowball. Further ahead was Sans, which was weird since she did not see him pass her by even in her peripheral vision while ordering from the Nice Cream vendor. Shrugging, she investigated further, and saw that the 'dark zone' also had a frozen lake and a hole. Putting all this together, Iji deduced that this was a game where one moves the snowball to the hole.

Deciding she could kill some time, she moved over to the snowball and nudged it. It went rolling in the direction she was facing, Already, she noticed it shrinking, and it bounced when it attempted to leave the 'dark zone', so Iji quickly got to work. Calculating the possible moves she could make, the human moved the snowball as accurately as she could, trying not to be too impatient.

A few seconds later, she shot the snowball into the hole. When that happened, a yellow flag popped up and a short tune played celebrating her victory. On top of the flag were three Gold. As she took the coins, she saw that the flag read, "YELLOW - Your sure-fire accuracy put an end to the mayhem of 'Ball.'"

As she turned her gaze to Sans again, planning to talk to him, she noticed in her peripheral that somehow the snowball was there again. _What? That's weird._ She wondered if she could earn more Gold in this game, considering that if she manages to Spare more and more monsters in this area, they'll stop trying to attack her and by extension, not provide her any Gold, weird as that was. Besides, the Snowed Inn's fee was 80 Gold, and who knows what other things are out there that she'd need to pay for?

Also, beneath the lump of snow next to the other snowball that was actually a snow-decahedron was yet another camera.

* * *

After playing a few times, (and taking a break by talking to Sans, who offered 'fried snow' he doesn't even have for 5G, 50G, 5,000G, and then 50,000G), as soon as Iji shot the snowball into the hole within ten second starting from the moment she touched it, a red flag came up this time, and a pouch sat on top. The flag read: "Bravery. Justice. Integrity. Kindness. Perseverance. Patience. Using these, you were able to win at 'Ball Game'." Inside the pouch was 50 Gold. She would later learn that a "snowball tax" is where the money comes from, and it would confuse her to no end.

 _That should be enough,_ Iji mused to herself as she claimed the pouch. She also recalled the area past Sans. It held two guard stations that looked like Doggo's, and had a small forest behind them. There was also a sign between the stations that read: Snow Smell – Snowman, WHITE Rating, Can become YELLOW Rating. Unsuspicious Smell – Puppy, BLUE Rating, Smell of rolling around. Weird Smell – Humans, GREEN Rating, Destroy at all costs! The color words were written in their respective colors except for GREEN, which was in red. _Right. I think dogs are color-blind._

The next area past the Ball Game zone was a much smaller version of the "electricity maze" area. A piece of paper was in the center, and on the other side were the two skeleton brothers again. _How did Sans get here so quickly?_

"HUMAN! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR…" Papyrus then noticed something and yelled, "SANS! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!"

"it's right there. on the ground," the shorted skeleton pointed at it. "trust me. there's no way she can get past this one."

"We'll see about that, Sans," replied Iji as she approached the puzzle and picked it up. It read Monster Kidz Word Search. The word search contained a bear-faced ice cube named "Ice-E" and a bear-faced snowman named "Nightmare". She then rummaged her satchel for a pen, in case she ever needed to do any writing.

She solved the whole thing in 25 seconds flat, though she later noticed that one of the words she though she crossed out was misspelled, thus making the puzzle impossible to actually solve. Pocketing the pen, Iji walked over to Papyrus and handed it over to him.

After taking the solved puzzle, he scolded, "SANS! SHE SOLVED IT TOO FAST!"

"whoops," Sans replied. i knew i should have used today's crossword instead."

"WHAT!? CROSSWORD!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! IN MY OPINION… JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."

"what? really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."

"UN. BELIEVABLE." Papyrus then addressed Iji. "HUMAN! SOLVE THIS DISPUTE! WHICH IS HARDER?"

 _Seriously? He looks very incompetent for a guard._ Iji didn't say those thoughts out loud, immediately came to an answer, and said, "I have a name, you know. It's Iji, and I think crossword is harder."

Papyrus wasn't satisfied. "YOU TWO ARE WEIRD! CROSSWORDS ARE SO EASY. IT'S THE SAME SOLUTION EVERY TIME. I JUST FILL ALL THE BOXES IN WITH THE LETTER "Z", BECAUSE EVERY TIME I LOOK AT A CROSSWORD, ALL I CAN DO IS SNORE!" He then laughed at his own joke before running off.

"papyrus… finds difficulty in interesting places," sans commented. "yesterday he got stumped trying to "solve" the horoscope."

Iji was a little puzzled. "Wow. I'm surprised Papyrus even managed to hold his position for so long. Either standards are different here, or he has personal relations with the Captain."

"i think it's the latter. from what papyrus told me, she's been his personal tutor."

"So the captain's a female, huh?"

"yup. well, you should get going."

"Yeah."

* * *

The next area was a small one, where there were two tables, a note, and a mouse hole. One of the tables had a plate of spaghetti. The other had an unplugged microwave. Iji approached the note first and read it.

"HUMAN!" it said. "PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. (LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU! YOU'LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT THAT YOU WON'T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T PROGRESSING! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!) NYEH-HEH-HEH, PAPYRUS"

 _As if. Wouldn't work on me anyway._ She decided to check the spaghetti anyway. It was frozen, and stuck to the table. A normal human wouldn't be able to pry this out, but Iji's Nanofield has also bestowed her with immense strength that thankfully only 'activates' when she wants it to. Placing one hand on the plate and another pressed onto the table lest she end up lifting both, she began to pull. To avoid potentially tossing it out of sight upon freeing the plate, Iji moved the whole table close to the wall with the mouse hole first.

Thankfully, the plate finally came loose with some effort, with nary a strand or sauce portion lost. Next, Iji approached the microwave. Upon closer inspection, she saw that all of the settings said "spaghetti". _I wonder if monster appliances can operate standalone?_ After placing the spaghetti inside, she turned the knob to one of the "spaghetti settings" and waited for a minute, just to check if it was really working.

Once a full minute has passed, she opened the microwave and checked the spaghetti. It was still as frozen as ever. _Welp. So much for that. I best take it with me._ Taking out the phone, she added the Spaghetti to its inventory, then decided to take the microwave too.

* * *

The next area was yet another expanse of snow. Closest to Iji's location was a sign that read Warning: Dog Marriage (Yes, you read that correctly), which confused her to no end. Next to it was another tree… and there was yet another security camera among its leaves.

Just then, something else caught her attention. On the distance, she could distinguish a quickly growing lump of snow. She cautiously approached, wanting to figure out what it was. By the time she was close enough to touch it, it was already as tall as she was.

At the right side of the lump was a white furry dog. It wore gray, presumably metal armor with a darker gray band around the waist area. Near it was a shield leaning against one side of the hole and its top protruded from the edge. It bore the same rune as the one on Toriel's robes. This got Iji wondering. _What? What hasn't Toriel told me?_

There was also a sword in the dog's mouth as it furiously dug into the snow. _What's it doing? Does it want to bury its weapons?_

All of a sudden, a miniature avalanche buried her up to her torso. _Shit._ To make things worse, the dog had taken notice, stood on twos, retrieved its weapons, and was now approaching her position. She quickly dug herself out, but before she knew it, her SOUL was glowing. Knowing the usual procedure, she took out her phone to Check her opponent. "Lesser Dog. Wields a stone dogger made of pomer-granite." She held back a laugh from the puns.

Lesser Dog stood there panting for a while before lifting its sword, which began glowing a familiar shade of blue. The dog swung it down and two spears emerged from the ground, one blue and one white. Remembering her previous encounter, after judging the timing in which the attacks will reach her, she let the blue attack go straight through, then evaded the other spear. Lesser Dog's head was now cocked to one side.

 _This dog seems more dog-like than Doggo. I wonder…_ Once she procured the stick and waved it, Lesser Dog snapped to attention, its ears perking up and its tail wagging. Like with Doggo, the two played fetch for a while. During their play time, on occasion, a little dog made out of snow would emerge and jump right for Iji. Catching them turned out to be a mistake, as they were actually SOUL attacks, but she didn't blame Lesser Dog for it as it sank back into the snow like it was water.

By the end of the 'game'. Lesser Dog was close enough to be pet. Deciding it couldn't hurt much, she decided to do it. She only managed to lightly touch it and it already got overexcited. Its neck almost looked a little longer, too. Another snow dog came and pounced, but she evaded it fast this time.

She continued petting regardless for some reason, adoring its very soft fur. Lesser Dog's tail was wagging wildly fast and it was panting and barking a lot. And now she could tell that its neck was definitely getting longer. Spears diverged from its sword and turned around to hit Iji. She braced the blue one before dodging the white one, also taking Lesser Dog out of its path. She felt weird after that, since not once did she ever do that. The Iji who crossed the Tasen and Komato would've let the attack hit. Maybe it was the dog's cuteness, and her curiosity as to how long its neck could get. She didn't want to kill it in the process, though.

Iji continued petting and dodging attacks, and she noticed that Lesser Dog's tail was wagging faster and faster as its neck grew longer and longer. After a while, it disposed its sword and shield, clearly wanting more petting done. Eventually, it began to tower over Iji, making it extremely difficult to pet it. For a while, jumping managed to get her in range of the dog's head, but even that soon became insufficient and she had to settle for the neck. All the while Lesser Dog was making very un-doglike sounds like a revving motor, a plane taking off, and a kettle whistle.

Iji continued petting Lesser Dog still and didn't notice until it barked that it had somehow U-turned its neck so that it could come right back down to where she could reach it. Petting its head again, the petting continued until its head now reached the ground. Iji decided that was enough and she crouched down to address it.

"Uhh, Lesser Dog?" she began. The monster tilted its upside down head to show it was listening. "Weren't you doing something important before I interrupted you? Maybe we should stop here…"

Lesser Dog whined and showed them its best puppy eyes… literally, but in the end Iji's soul finally stopped glowing.

"Awww, I know." She then hugged Lesser Dog's torso, "I'll miss this too."

Lesser Dog's arms wrapped around Iji, its tail wagging at a more tranquil pace. It even adjusted its neck so that it could rest its head on Iji's shoulder. She thought it freaky, yet cute.

When they finally separated, Lesser Dog's neck retracted like a measuring tape, sound and all, startling Iji a little. After picking up its weapons, it happily barked twice and gave her a little bag with money. Then it ran ahead… even though that was not the place it had been digging in at all.

With a smile on her face, Iji continued past where she saw Lesser Dog. Ahead of her was a large patch of snow, somehow different from the rest. To the left of it was a line of spikes.

Before she could approach those, yet another Ice Cap appeared. This time, its hat was red, and it was not alone. But instead of a Snowdrake, there was what appeared to be an organic UFO-shaped monster. It had three dull-thick spikes, some black spots, very long narrow arms, four legs, two eyes on its widest portion of their body, and swollen lips. And the Ice Cap seemed to be annoyed with their companion. Iji was quick to Check the new monster.

"Everyone knows Jerry. Makes attacks 2 seconds longer."

_What?_

"I just loooove my hat, okay?" Ice Cap was boasting.

"Man, the wifi sucks here." Jerry sighed.

 _Wait, what? They still have internet here?_ Iji couldn't continue that train of thought as she started dodging ice chunks summoned by Ice Cap. And it seemed the phone was right about attacks lasting two more seconds. Once the attack was over, she specifically averted her gaze from Ice Cap, and scrutinized Jerry, see what it would take for her to spare him as he sneezed without making any effort at all in covering his nose. _Rude._

"What? What are you doing?" Ice Cap was confused.

Jerry however didn't seem to notice or care that he was being looked at. "Guys, it's COLD. Does ANYONE care?"

He then took out some food from somewhere and ate it. It was powdery, and he began to lick his hands loudly. Meanwhile, Ice Cap tried to garner attention again with another of those ice chunk attacks.

Iji was tempted to check if her Resonance Reflector can work against monster attacks, but the presence of surveillance cameras all over the forest (and possibly beyond) told her not to reveal too much of herself for as long as she possibly can. She continued to ignore Ice Cap, keeping her attention on Jerry.

"Fine! I don't care!"

A "wave" attack came next, which was very easy to evade. And once that was over, Ice Cap decided to bail, tripping over a pebble and dropping a small pouch of Gold before getting up again and leaving. As for Jerry, he just stood there, bored and with nothing he can do to harm the opponent he was currently facing.

Iji went over to Ice Cap's dropped pouch, keeping an eye on Jerry as she retrieved them, and wondered what exactly she should do with him. He's harmless right now, but is it possible to be on good terms with him as she has with many other monsters before him? All the phone said was to Ditch him. But what was the difference between that and fleeing from him?

* * *

(A/N: Guess we'll never know.)

Leaving Jerry, Iji easily jumped over the line of spikes, then crossed the short wooden bridge ahead. To her right was the next area, but she found herself confronting two more canine monsters. They were near identical in appearance, both having round snouts, floppy ears, and muscular builds covered by dark hooded robes with the face of the other printed on the front. Their main differences in appearance were that one of them had a thick lowered brow, cowlick and pseudo-moustache, while the other had emphasized eyelashes. They both wielded long battleaxes, with eyes that showed features imitating those of their owners.

Once the two slowly flanked her, one of them said, "What's that smell?" Their voice was masculine.

"Where's that smell?" asked the other, their voice a deep feminine.

"If you're a smell…"

"Identify yoursmellf!"

The two then proceeded to run around her before converging on her location again. Throughout this inspection, Iji didn't move, though her stick, which was in her pocket, was ready to be used. Her phone was also in hand, ready to Check them.

"Hmmm… Here's that weird smell…" said the male. "It makes me want to eliminate."

"…Eliminate YOU!" finished the female, after which Iji's SOUL glowed, signaling the start of the battle.

Iji's first move was to Check her two opponents as they jumped back a fair distance.

"Dogamy. Husband of Dogaressa. Knows only what he smells. Dogaressa. This puppy finds her hubby lovely. SMELLS ONLY?"

_Wait a second. Those two stations past Sans while I was playing that Ball Game… are those theirs? That sign!_

"Don't touch my hot dog!" said Dogamy.

"He means me…" said Dogaressa.

The two's axes then glowed a faint white hue before they charged straight for Iji. Even before the Alpha Strike, Iji had prior military training, which was how she was able to threaten Asha when he held her brother Dan hostage with a shotgun and be confident enough not to harm her brother in the process. This training also taught her how do dodge melee weapon attacks like theirs, and despite working in tandem, the pair was unable to deal as much damage to the "weird smell" as they wanted, though when Iji once attempted to parry one axe swing with her bare hands, just touching the blade even on the side inflicted damage to her SOUL.

 _Maybe the stick won't work on these two this time. But it doesn't hurt to try._ Once the attacks ceased for a while, Iji produced the stick and waved it. The two dog monsters dropped their axes proceeded to play fetch with her.

"No. 2 Nuzzle Champs '98!" commented Dogamy.

"Of course we were second," pointed out Dogaressa.

During their game, snow dogs just like with Lesser Dog emerged and one of them started barking at the other, 'summoning' a ring of eight heart shapes, half of them white and half of them blue. Iji dropped to the snowy floor and rolled to get out of its way.

By the time the attack has ceased, Dogaressa was looking over her lying-down form, close to her head…and was sniffing her again. Dogamy was doing the same.

"What! Smells like a…"

"Are you actually a little puppy!?"

Iji decided to answer that by rubbing their jaws with the intent to pet them.

Dogamy was excited. "Wow! Pet by another pup!"

So was Dogaressa. "A dog that pets dogs... Amazing!"

"Dogs can pet other dogs?"

"A new world has opened up for us…"

"Weird smells can bring good things."

"Friendly fun fetch!"

"Thanks, weird puppy!"

"It sure was fun to "stick" together!"

Iji's SOUL then vanished as the two dogs helped her to her feet, retrieved their axes, and then left her with a pouch of Gold. _This is gonna take some getting used to._

* * *

The next area had yet another kind of puzzle ahead. There were two blue Xs, a formation of rocks, a pressure plate, and a sign. Iji approached the sign first, which read Turn every X into an O. Then press the switch.

 _Easy peasy. Wonder how quickly every child before me solved these._ Iji did as instructed, seeing a line of spikes further ahead and Papyrus on the other side of them, pushed the switch to lower the spikes, then approached the skeleton.

"WHAT!?" he gasped. "HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP? AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY... IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?"

 _Any lef—oh, the spaghetti!_ "I took it with me. I tried to cook it, but the microwave isn't working. And I took that with me, too."

"REALLY!? WOWIE… NO ONE'S EVER ENJOYED MY COOKING BEFORE…"

"I didn't say I—"

"WELL THEN! FRET NOT, HU—UM, IJI! I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS… WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE PASTA YOU COULD EVER WANT! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH!"

And with that he was off again. Iji sighed to herself. At least Papyrus addressed her by her name now. _Guess he's not all there._ With that, she continued on to the next area… only to see Papyrus waiting for her at the start of the path ahead.

"MY BROTHER STARTED A SOCK COLLECTION RECENTLY," he said. "HOW SADDENING… SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD DO, WITHOUT SUCH A COOL GUY TAKING CARE OF HIM? NYEH HEH HEH!" Smiling, she continued forward, and saw ahead of her a sign, a pressure plate, and an arrangement of snow and blue Xs. Papyrus shortly caught up to her as she paused to figure out to solve it. "IJI! HMMM… HOW DO I SAY THIS… YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO… I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE… BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE. UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND. NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT! AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND. I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM SAYING IS… WORRY NOT, IJI! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SOLVE THIS CONUNDRUM! THEN WE CAN BOTH PROCEED! MEANWHILE, FEEL FREE TO TRY THE PUZZLE YOURSELF. I'LL TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY THE ANSWER!"

The puzzle was so easy a child could solve it (and the ones before her probably did). Obviously, Papyrus didn't represent all of monsterkind's military force, but so far the Dogs proved relatively easy to thwart that she didn't even need to heal much between encounters. But maybe this Undyne Papyrus talks about wouldn't disappoint. Because even if the mountain survived the Tasen's Alpha Strike, surely they had sent troops in the mountain in search of humans (and in the case of the Komato, search of remaining Tasen). But there were still so many questions still left unanswered. She'll have to reach Snowdin soon to find out.

Once she made every blue X a red O, then pushed the switch (turning all the red Os green), Papyrus ran over and said, "WOW! YOU SOLVED IT! MY ADVICE HELPED! IT REALLY HELPED YOU! INCREDIBLE! I'M IMPRESSED! YOU MUST CARE ABOUT PUZZLES LIKE I DO! WELL, I'M SURE YOU'LL LOVE THE NEXT PUZZLE THEN! IT MIGHT EVEN BE TOO EASY FOR YOU! NYEH! HEH HEH! HEHEHEH!" And he was off yet again.

 _I swear he's just in his own little world,_ Iji mused to herself as she made to progress further, encountering Sans at the now-receded spikes.

"good job on solving it so quickly. you didn't even need my help," he congratulated. "which is great, 'cause i love doing absolutely nothing."

* * *

The next area consisted of a small wooden bridge leading to a strange floor of forty-eight gray tiles in a six-by-eight rectangle formation. On the other side of this floor were Papyrus, Sans (she didn't bother asking anymore), and a gray, largely rectangular box with a grid of (currently-off) lights at the top and four dials along the bottom. The brothers seemed to be waiting for her.

"HEY! IT'S THE HUMAN!" said Papyrus. "YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE! IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS! YOU SEE THESE TILES!? ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH… THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR! EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION!"

"Wait!" Iji interrupted as she rummaged her satchel for her Tasen logbook. After producing it, she held it in ready to write, then said, "Go ahead."

"taking notes, huh?" commented Sans. "she must be real serious with this. eh, papyrus?"

"I AM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT! NOW, RED TILES ARE IMPASSIBLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM! YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC! THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU! GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM, YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER! ORANGE-TILES ARE ORANGE-SCENTED. THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL DELICIOUS! BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. SWIM THROUGH THEM IF YOU LIKE, BUT IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES, THE PIRANHAS WILL BITE YOU. ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU! PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! YOU WILL SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP… SMELLS LIKE LEMONS! WHICH PIRANHAS DO NOT LIKE! PURPLE AND BLUE ARE OKAY! FINALLY, PINK TILES; THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. STEP ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE. HOW WAS THAT!? UNDERSTAND?"

As soon as Iji typed down the last of her notes for the color tile puzzle, she hoped monster knew what a thumbs-up was and gave one to him.

He seemed to get the gist of it. "GREAT! THEN THERE'S ONE LAST THING… THIS PUZZLE… IS ENTIRELY RANDOM!"

_Uh oh._

"WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE… THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! NOT EVEN I WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY…!" He then operated the machine, and the tiles started to shuffle in various colors, slowly increasing in speed.

Iji didn't worry, though. She still got the rules memorized as she put away her logbook back into the satchel. After fourteen seconds however, her memorization was rendered moot: the "puzzle" consisted of a path of pink tiles with red ones on either side leading straight to the other side.

Papyrus was completely bewildered by his rotten luck and slowly _spun_ out of the area, Sans getting out of his way.

Disappointed that she wouldn't be challenged, Iji walked straight through. As she passed Sans, he said, "actually, that spaghetti from earlier… it wasn't too bad for my brother. since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible."

Iji frowned at the shorter skeleton. Whether Sans was telling the truth or not, he was still insulting Papyrus. But it wasn't her place to tell him how to treat his younger brother, so she didn't raise the subject and proceeded.

* * *

The next area consisted of a pathway, a dog guard station, and plenty of "snowdogs" with elongated necks, but all broken halfway. _Was this Lesser Dog's station?_ As she approached the station, she noticed something behind it among the trees, and upon checking it saw it was yet another camera. Inside the station was a box labeled "pomeraisins". She immediately got the pun. The sign next to it read, AWARE OF DOG. pleas pet dog. _Oh, Lesser Dog…_

And then she noticed a monster different from the ones she's seen so far. They were deer-like, reminding her of the mythical faun. They wore purple pants, and a purple jumper with teal stars in it. As she approached them, they said, "A dog just rushed in here, filled with inspiration. It kept trying to build a snowdog that expressed its own emotions... But, as it built, it kept getting more excited about the sculpture... Its neck got longer and longer, and it added more and more snow, until... It was rather sad to watch, but I couldn't turn away."

Reflecting back on the snowdogs, Iji could only agree. It seemed like the monster pitied and condescended Lesser Dog for its efforts.

* * *

What greeted her in the next area was yet another puzzle just like the one before, but on a slippery ice floor. It also seemed that ice in the Underground lacked friction, as if it were a physics-defying miracle lubricant that rendered any who cross it unable to make the slightest change in direction until reaching an obstacle, wall, non-ice section, or worse, a bottomless pit.

There was also a path to the right, so Iji checked there first, but all she saw were two snow sculpture, though calling one of them that was being generous with the term. One of them was a lump of snow with 'sans' written on it in red marker. The other was a muscular sculpture of Papyrus, complete with a red scarf of its own. And it looked recently made, as if the brothers were doing that while waiting for her or something.

Back to the puzzle, Iji already knew what to do, and slid accordingly to each X before finally making it to the button to solve the puzzle. Upon reaching that button, a bridge opened up in front of her, leading straight across a thick forest path that was also slippery like the ice. With no other paths, Iji took it and sailed straight across. When she reached the other side, she felt snow crumble from atop her head.

Ignoring that little issue, she sees a path further ahead, and a detour to the right. Always the type to explore everything, she took the detour, which was a slope downward to another sector. (3) Leading right was another path, which she took, and to her right were strange caves and as she traversed them, she noticed eyes peering out of them. It worried her a bit, and then she saw a monster right in front of her, and it brought her SOUL to light, ready for another battle.

It appeared to bear the basic body structure (and coloration) of a reindeer but with noticeable differences. It had a mouth that opened sideways, which contained a bunch of pointy teeth. Its antlers branched in three different directions, two of them pointing up having pine trees on top of them. Other basic details were the four polka dots on its back, and the variety of decorations it had on it, such as a box of raisins, 'streamers' out of wire from pipe cleaners, and a lenticular bookmark.

As always, Iji Checked the monster. The phone said, "Gyftrot. Some teens 'decorated' it as a prank." _Poor Gyftrot._

"Is this funny to you?" the monster asked before commencing its attack, which was to summon three 'gift boxes' in between itself and Iji, then shuffled them for a bit (in which the human decided to take a few steps back) before launching them straight at her. She noticed one of the boxes were blue, and immediately got into its path before staying still long enough for it to pass her by.

Judging by its words and the phone's comment, Iji knew what to do. Iji dashed towards Gyftrot and swiped the raisin box from its back before backing away again, knowing it probably had personal space issues. And she realized she could've just told the monster and gestured before taking it.

Gyftrot seemed a little pleased, regardless. "That feels a little better…" It then proceeded to launch a slew of balls conjured from its 'tree horns'. These were a little harder to dodge than the boxes, and it took a slight toll on Iji's HP. (4)

Next up was the wire, and Iji spoke up beforehand this time. "Gyftrot, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just gonna remove some things on you." She raised her hands in a generic gesture of peace.

The monster was cautious, but eventually relented and let her approach. As soon as she was in range, she untangled the wire around its antlers. They were barbed, but given her Nanofield can stop anything short of other Nanoweapons (and magic) from penetrating it, barbs on wire were nothing.

"That's a little better." Gyftrot said begrudgingly. "But…you're a human, so…"

"Isn't that ungrateful to do after what I did for you?" Iji admonished. "I won't even ask for Gold. Just tell the others I mean no harm." And with that, she took off the bookmark, which depicted a smug teen winking.

"A weight has been lifted. I guess I will." With that, Gyrftrot nodded and walked past Iji, but not before shaking off less than three dozen gold coins from its 'trees'…somehow. "I know you didn't ask, but… I think you still deserve some." And then it trotted off, Iji's SOUL fading as well.

 _I'll never fully understand these monsters._ Iji thought as she collected the coins, then proceeded further on, finally reaching the end of the path, which overlooked a large expanse of forest, with a clearing in the middle and a house in that clearing. And it seemed inhabited. But there was nothing she could do about that, so she checked out the cave to her right.

* * *

Inside there, it was a long hallway leading to a non-snowy patch of land with four glowing mushrooms clusters, firefly-like lights, and a mysterious door just across her. She was curious as to what lay beyond the door, and was tempted to bust it open, but if this was a resident's house, she didn't want to intrude. Knocking on the door probably wouldn't help either, as the occupant may not hear it, refuse to pay attention, or may not even be there at all. Still, she wanted to know a bit more about it, so she reminded herself to ask or research about the door another time, and then approached the door to at least get a feel for it.

The door seemed to be made of stone, and it bore the same symbol she saw on Toriel's robes and Lesser Dog's shield. _Is this their national emblem or something? Is on the other side of this door something important, or is it just a patriotic monster's home? Hmm._

"Ooohh! A fan!" a voice came.

Iji turned around, and saw yet another kind of monster. It seemed to be floating, had a long thick body, an arrogant smile on its face, iris-less eyes, long curved wings/fins, and its tail had a glowing portion at the end like fireflies, anglerfish, etc. Oh, and her SOUL was glowing again.

"Glyde," the phone said about it when she Checked. "Refuses to give more details about its statistics."

" _Sorry… for NOTHING *ollies*_ " it said and its tail glowed brighter, shooting out star-shaped bullets, which Iji had a little difficulty dodging, but she didn't get hit.

Once the attacks paused and it did some fancy flips, Iji could tell that Glyde was very pretentious and rude, so she decided to do to it what she did to Ice Cap; nothing.

Unfortunately, Glyde didn't seem to get the message as it said nothing and continued attacking, this time sending out large star-shaped bullets as well, which upon collision exploded with words like "RAD", "SICK", "NICEY", "VIBIN", and "SPICEY".

"Now what other slang can I come up with for 'cool'…" Glyde was talking to itself. "Oh, 'freakadacious'!" And then the attacks continued, only to pause for it to give itself a high-five, or whatever its equivalent was.

 _This isn't working!_ Iji thought as she tried to find a way out. Escaping from battle has always been an option, but right now Glyde was between it and her. And judging by its continuous actions, it wasn't the type to take no for an answer. It was tempting to kill Glyde, but she didn't spare hundreds of murderous aliens back on the surface only to break her streak now all because of one attention whore. Though avoiding the Komato Assassin Asha altogether was a happy coincidence; she would not have hesitated to take him down if they had crossed paths again, not after he took her brother Dan hostage once. _Looks like I'll have to indulge in its desires for once._

Relenting to its desires, Iji clapped, however sloppily. She was obviously not amused to do this, but Glyde milked it for all its worth.

"Ok! I rule. I admit it! _"_ The attacks continued however, and Glyde refused to leave.

 _Maybe it needs more praise._ Iji continued clapping between its attacks, and Glyde continued sucking it all up.

"What else do you have to say?" it said as it continued attacking. None of the "big stars" came out since, however.

 _That's it. It needs to be knocked off of its pedestal._ Iji booed at Glyde, complete with thumbs-downs, but the monster seemed appreciative of that, too.

"Boo? What a wimpy ghost."

More attacks. She tried again. He sucked it up as he grew jealous of its own reflection in a mirror it carried. And more attacks came.

"Mmm, Fresh Sweet Haters."

At this point, Iji was getting tired. If it loved attention, positive and negative, maybe the best way to get it off of her was to do nothing. Maybe the only way to get rid of Glyde was to do that **after** showering it with attention, as doing nothing from the start just made it keep attacking.

So that's what she did. Glyde looked disappointed. "Eh? You forgot to clap." It then tried attacking her again to catch her attention, but numerous instances of that song and dance got her accustomed to dodging them. Her SOUL was still moderately hurt, but she could still make it to Snowdin. As she continued to do nothing, it seemed desperate now, but Glyde had its fun, and she wasn't going to give it more. "HELLO? I'M RIGHT HERE!"

Yet another slew of attacks came and went, and it went crazy with its flips just to catch her attention, but Iji was already starting to miss Papyrus's puzzles and the skirmishes with the Dog guards, as much as she couldn't believe saying. Finally, Glyde seemed to get the message and flew away. As it did, it happened to drop a large pouch of coins.

"Does every monster here keep their Gold in pouches?", the human thought to herself as she picked it up and deposited all the other Gold she accumulated so far, then stored it inside her phone, since her pockets were getting pretty full.

* * *

Going back to the other path, Iji saw that ahead of her was a small dog house, and plenty of "snow poffs". She checked each of them (the sign next to the dog house said Woof.), and eventually found 30 Gold inside one. As for the one at the very end, blocking the path forward, a tail popped out, and then a head of a dog. It barked cutely at her, but she was more confused than enamored. Her caution proved to be helpful, as the dog then revealed the rest of itself.

The dog's fur is wholly white, and it wore gray armor adorned at the wrists with apparently functional dog faces, much like the spear weapon it presently held. It was as tall as a Tasen Commander (8 feet 2 inches).

And then Iji's SOUL glowed again; it was time for battle. As per usual, the first thing Iji did was Check her opponent. "Greater Dog," the phone said. "It's so excited that it thinks fighting is just play."

_How does that help me?_

Greater Dog then made its move; summon a snow dog, just as Lesser Dog, Dogamy, and Dogaressa have before. But it seemed to be sleeping. The cold, not to mention all of whatever the dogs before this one had on them, was getting to Iji, and it made her sneeze. The dog woke but did not get up, and started barking. The words BARK flew straight at her, and she immediately dodged them before it eventually buried itself into the snow.

 _Note to self; don't wake the dog. Better do what I always do._ Iji took out the Stick and waved it. Like with all the other dogs before, they began to play fetch for a while. Greater Dog performed a half-hearted attack that consisted of summoning a spear from the snow just as Lesser Dog did, only this one alternated between blue and white. It was easy for Iji to avoid, and she convinced Greater Dog to stop fighting.

With her SOUL fading back, Greater Dog…revealed that it was actually a dog piloting the armor as it revealed its real front legs, popping them out of the neck portion of the armor, propped them against Iji as she stood straight in front of its face, then licked her at **her** face before retracting them back to its armor and walking away.

All this left her stunned for a bit that she didn't think of following after Greater Dog immediately and use them to escape whatever puzzle next awaited her. And knowing Papyrus, he certainly has. Shrugging to herself, she pressed on.

* * *

The next area consisted of a bridge out of rock, painted to look like wood, and had two rope railings on the sides. On the other side of the bridge were Papyrus and Sans, and past them were the lights of civilization; Snowdin must be just up ahead. She also saw a camera hidden somewhere at the end of the bridge she was at right now.

Wanting so badly to rest right now (no thanks to Glyde), she walked across the bridge's length until she was within earshot of the skeleton brothers.

"IJ!" Papyrus called as soon as he noticed her. "THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!"

On cue, the following things appeared: a spiky ball tethered by chains, two spears, a dog hanging on a rope tied around its body, an oil drum fire pit, and a cannon.

"WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY? BECAUSE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!"

Iji gripped both rope railings, then bent down, ready to sprint past the danger.

But nothing seemed to be happening and Papyrus turned away.

"well? what's the holdup?" Sans asked.

"Yeah," Iji agreed. "You saw me go through the electricity maze just fine."

"HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!?" Papyrus denied. "I'M… I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!"

And still nothing happened. Iji wondered if she should take a step forward to prod Papyrus to activating the gauntlet. But then decided not to; on top of the fight with Toriel, playing fetch with the five "guard dogs", mental stress from confronting Glyde, playing the "Ball Game", and everything else, all Iji wanted now was to rent a room at the Snowed Inn so she can rest. Hopefully, the resident monsters don't attack her on sight for being a human.

"that, uh, doesn't look very activated," commented the shorter skeleton.

"WELL! THIS CHALLENGE! IT SEEMS, MAYBE, TOO EASY TO DEFEAT THE HUMAN WITH." Iji scoffed at that. "YEAH! WE CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR! AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED! BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! AWAY IT GOES!" And away all six weapons went, leaving a human that's half disappointed and half relieved. "PHEW!" Iji noticed the sigh of relief as Papyrus turned away and looked at him curiously. He noticed and turned around to face her again. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS! NYEH! HEH! ...HEH?" He seemed to lose heart at the last laugh as ran off.

Glad the whole thing was over, Iji crossed the bridge, and as she noted yet another camera nearby ad hidden, Sans spoke up. "i don't know what my brother's going to do now. if i were you, i would make sure i understand **blue attacks**."

"I really don't want to fight Papyrus," Iji sighed. "And I get the feeling he doesn't want to fight me either."

"maybe. but maybe you two can work it out somehow while fighting."

"Perhaps you're right." She remembered all the guard dogs and how easy it was to get past them. Then again, Papyrus probably doesn't have the same weakness to sticks as they do. She'll just have to wing it. Or research in whatever library may be in Snowdin. But first thing's first: find a place to rest.

* * *

The first thing Iji saw upon entering Snowdin proper was the sign made out of white tarpaulin that read Welcome To Snowdin. It warmed her heart to see a quaint winter town that reminded her of what the surface was before the Tasen came here running from the Komato. It also saddened her to be reminded of that fateful day.

The first buildings (according to their signs) were the Shop and the Snowed Inn. Between their entrances was a box similar to the one she first saw right after Sans's station. Peering into the box, she saw that her can of beans was there. It even had the slight dent in that one specific spot. Feeling a little more confident now in its purpose, she put the toy knife, the box of raisins, and the microwave inside the box as well, leaving her phone with a canteen, the donut bought at the spider bake sale, the stick, the pink glove, and Papyrus's spaghetti.

Deciding she could check the shop tomorrow, she entered the inn first. She was greeted by a warm yellow reception room with a red couch to the right, stairs leading up at the far left, and the reception desk was being tended to by a pinkish rabbit monster. A small white one was to the right, but not tall enough to reveal their head over the desk. Behind the desk was a painting of a proud kingdom, probably 'taken' back when monsters still lived on the surface. There was also a lamp at the corner.

"Welcome to Snowed Inn, Snowdin's premier hotel!" the innkeeper greeted. "One night is 80G!"

Iji was surprised at this incredibly warm reception. Does she treat all visitors like this? Or maybe she doesn't even know what a human is, since monsterkind has been stuck Underground for so long, and their descendants no longer know what humans look like. Either way, Iji decided to take advantage of this and coughed up the cash.

"Here's your room key. Make sure to bundle up!"

* * *

The room Iji was given had all the basic commodities of a hotel room; in addition to a bed was a shower (though no toilets, strangely enough), a kitchenette, lamps, a desk, though no mini-fridge or television. No other fancy additions were present. She was lucky to get this one; all the rest didn't have such things. She was still miffed at having no toilet, though. She'll have to read up on monster physiology tomorrow.

Not bothering to change her clothes this time, Iji just plopped herself onto the bed belly-first, dropping her satchel just next to it. After that, she quickly got up again, removed the holder for her Nanogun, put the thing around her arms, then lay down on the bed again, this time on her back. With rest finally in reach, Iji closed her eyes and let sleep claim her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Spoilers. Iji actually has the ability to SAVE, but she doesn't know about it, and she cannot see the Save Points. I'm not gonna treat this like a game world Undertale is. Additionally, she won't recover HP at Save Points in this story.
> 
> (2) Remember. The Child still follows "stranger danger" when it comes to calls. Iji was thinking more rationally. As for the name Nishibi, it was just random.
> 
> (3) I don't know how to handle Sans teleporting around in this area, so I decided not to have him there.
> 
> (4) For future reference, even if it'll never come up, HP refers to Iji's SOUL, Health refers to her Nanofield, and 'health'…means just that.
> 
> See ya on Third!


	3. Three Friends, One Old-ish, Two New

Disclaimer: _Iji_ belongs to Daniel Remar, and _Undertale_ belongs to Toby Fox.

Trivia: My old laptop where I was playing Undertale crashed. I was up against the most difficult boss ever. Maybe he crashed it?

I realized later that the items Iji packed into her phone during her trek through Snowdin Forest exceeded 8 items. Hopefully, I won't make that same mistake.

Phone Inventory:

Canteen, Spider Donut, Stick, Snowman Piece, Nice Cream, Spaghetti, Worn Glove, [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Toy Knife, Box of Raisins, Microwave, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide

* * *

 _That was a good rest,_ Iji thought as she arose from the bed she had slept in a couple hours ago. And that's when she noticed one certain individual, and it startled her.

It was a certain nine-foot tall, black clad Komato she had the benefit of encountering and allying with during her trip across the facility to convince the alien leader to leave. Ansaksie, the Komato Assassin with some strange values regarding pacifism; she won't fight or kill when it isn't needed, but will do so with absolute force when it _is._ (1) Ansaksie had some beef with Annihilator Iosa, and they worked together to defeat her. According to various Komato logbooks, she's already deep in crimes like technology theft and weapons smuggling.

"Hey, Iji," she greeted casually, leaning on the wall, just like the time they met again right before the confrontation with General Tor.

"Ansaksie?" the human gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"Given my crimes back in my homeworld, I figured it was no longer worth going back. Other than that, I have my reasons."

Iji assumed a sitting position from her bed. "What are you even doing in this place? And how?"

"While your people were rebuilding after what the Tasen pulled off, I wandered Origin to see what can be done." The Tasen and Komato were actually once from Earth, which they called Origin. "I'll have to say that despite General Tor's doubts, your people and planet are more resilient than I thought. As for why I'm following you, I happened to be in the area when your group came to the village near Mt. Ebott, and overheard that legend about the Monsters, and you deciding to head there. I figured I'd follow, though I stayed out of sight for a while."

Iji immediately thought back to all the denizens in the ruins, especially Toriel and Napstablook, and then remembered Ansaksie's philosophy. But she decided to ask anyway. "How are the monsters there?"

"Well, when I went down there after you, I landed on a flower bed, much to the surprise of the monster tending to it. She was white, wore blue garments, about as tall as I was, and had a ball of fire in her hands, ready to attack me."

This confused Iji a bit. Toriel didn't look the type to attack someone on a whim. Then again, it was likely that some Tasen and Komato entered the mountain the same way Iji did, and their hostility likely provoked Toriel into retaliation. And the Nanofields they had meant no corpses were left behind upon their death. But why hasn't any caution from that lingered by the time Iji entered the mountain? Maybe a couple months was enough for Toriel and the Ruins denizens to calm down.

Ansaksie decided to sit down next to Iji on the bed. "I had to dodge some shots before finally convincing her I wasn't an enemy. After that, and after I mentioned you, we talked about what was going on outside, and what you were up to here before you ventured to the cold forest."

"How were you able to understand her, or the humans for that matter?" Iji asked. "The only reason I understood you was because my Nanofield translates the words we exchange, my words into your language, and your words into mine."

"I picked up a few words during my travels, and as for that legend, you were parroting some of their words, so I was able to piece together what they were saying, though it was certainly difficult. As for Toriel…" Ansaksie shrugged her shoulders. "I'm guessing something about these Monsters enable them to speak any language, or enables me to speak in theirs."

Iji didn't ask how Ansaksie managed to know Toriel by name since her question was already answered. "What about a flower? Have you met one with a face?" And then she immediately remembered that maybe the Komato don't know what a flower is.

Thankfully, it seemed that Ansaksie did. "Yeah, I did see one as I traversed the ruins. He looked very untrustworthy."

"I probably should already know the answer to this, but did you kill any monsters in the ruins?"

The Komato shook her head. "No. There was no need to, even though I found out that their attacks go through my Nanofield. I found out that when I try and talk with them just like you do, they tend to leave some currency behind. Picked them up, of course, you never know what use they have around here."

Iji sighed in relief. "All right. So what now?"

"I figure I'd explore a bit, maybe earn a few more Gold by… talking with monsters back at the forest."

"Just promise not to kill anybody, even if they're trying to kill you."

Ansaksie nodded. "All right. See you around." And then she used her teleportation device, a standard for all Komato Assassins, to leave the room.

 _Guess it's nice to see a familiar face around here,_ Iji thought to herself. _I must not forget why I'm here._

* * *

"Hiya! You look like you had a great sleep," greeted the innkeeper as Iji returned the room key.

"I did. Thanks."

"I hope you come back soon."

Nodding, she then left the hotel, and back out into the snow. Remembering the shop she passed by, she decided to head there.

Tending to the shop was a rabbit monster just like at the hotel, though she looked purple under the orange light behind her. She wore a tank top, small necklace, and a summer hat. "Hello, traveler. Welcome to Snowdin. How can I help you?" she greeted.

Iji just nodded as she browsed the area first, seeing a few boxes, photographs, books, a candle, an ashtray(?), and a scroll which seemed to be the local shop license or something which bore that same rune she saw on Toriel's robes, Lesser Dog's shield, and that mysterious door where she ran into Glyde. A wood counter separated the shopkeeper from the customer.

"I can't remember the last time I saw a fresh face around here," she shopkeeper continued. "Where did you come from? The capital? You don't look like a tourist. Are you here by yourself?"

"Not exactly," Iji answered. "I'm here on my own. I'd like to see what you have available, please,"

The shopkeeper replied by gesturing to the counter, which had a glass pane on both sides, with the available wares on display. "What would you like to buy?"

The wares seemed to consist of another glove just like the one she saw in the box, a worn-down bandanna with human abs drawn on it, a two-pronged popsicle called a "Bisicle", and a Cinnamon roll in a shape of a bunny.

While her mind was set on the two food items, something compelled her to try out the bandanna. She didn't know why, but she felt like it was right to buy it. Iji mentioned what she wanted to buy, and forked over the required Gold, actually close to emptying her pouch as she also bought the other glove.

"Thanks for your purchase," said the shopkeeper.

"Excuse me, but do you know any place where one can sell their items, like a pawnshop or something?" Iji then decided to ask as she put away the bandanna in her satchel, placed the Bisicle into the phone, and held on to the Cinnamon Bunny.

Somehow, she shopkeeper seemed to be a tad offended. "Well, certainly not in Snowdin. I don't know how it works where you come from, but If I started spending money on old branches and used bandages, I'd be out of business in a jiffy."

"You have a point there," Iji had to admit. "What else is available in Snowdin?"

"You want to know what to do here in Snowdin? Grillby's has food, and the library has information. If you're tired, you can take a nap at the inn. It's right next door - my sister runs it."

"I've been there. The accommodations were all right."

"Glad to hear it. And if you're bored, you can sit outside and watch those wacky skeletons do their thing. There's two of 'em. Brothers, I think. They just showed up one day and…asserted themselves. The town has gotten a lot more interesting since then."

Now that piqued her interest. Sans and Papyrus weren't from around here, and nobody knows where they came from. Though Iji decided to ask something else. "What's this town's history?"

"Think back to your history class…" Looks like the monsters here don't know Iji's a human, then. "A long time ago, monsters lived in the Ruins back there in the forest. Long story short, we all decided to leave the ruins and head for the end of the caverns. Along the way, some fuzzy folk decided they liked the cold and set up camp in Snowdin. Oh, and don't think about trying to explore the Ruins. The door's been locked for ages. So unless you're a ghost or can burrow under the door, forget about it."

"I see. How are things with you?"

"Life is the same as usual. A little claustrophobic. But…we all know deep down that freedom is coming, don't we? As long as we got that hope, we can grit our teeth and face the same struggles, day after day… That's life, ain't it?"

That saddened Iji a bit. They are feeling a little despair from being stuck in the mountain for who knows how long, but if they had somehow managed to escape earlier, they would likely have been wiped out by the aliens. "I guess. Bye."

"Bye now! Come again sometime!" she returned the greeting as Iji left the shop. She then went to the box to re-arrange her stuff between it, her phone, and her satchel.

Phone Inventory:

Canteen, Spider Donut, Stick, Nice Cream, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Box of Raisins, Microwave, Snowman Piece, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Once that was done with, she made her way to Grillby's. See what else the locals have to say. On the way, she saw a female bunny monster walking a littler bunny monster, which another bunny monster thought was weird, since the littler bunny was her little brother. There was also a decorated Christmas tree, and according to the bear monster there, their gift-giving tradition was started as an apology to Gyftrot (not stated by name, though) after he was tormented. Some of the presents beneath the tree were addressed from "Santa" to various locals.

One particular monster kid seemed to catch her attention, who greeted her immediately. It was a yellow, reptilian monster with no arms, a tail, and spikes on the back of their head. They had markings under their eyes, one bigger than the other, which looked like the result of falling down on their face multiple times. They wore a yellow shirt with brown stripes.

"Yo!" they greeted, their voice making it impossible to determine if they were male or female, if this particular type of monster had any gender at all. "You're a kid too, right? I can tell 'cause you're wearing a striped shirt."

Iji was left confused there for a second before looking down on her own shirt, which was indeed striped. But as for being a kid? No, she wasn't. At least in human terms. But she didn't bother correcting him.

She also talked to another bear monster, who was clad in orange. "This town doesn't have a mayor. But if there's ever a problem, a skeleton will tell a fish lady about it. Thaaaaat's politics!" he had said. She asked who the fish lady was (since she could deduce the skeleton to either be Papyrus or Sans), and he helpfully replied that her name was Undyne. By then, she was at Grillby's, and she entered it.

* * *

The interior of Grillby's consisted of a couple of booths, tables, a bar and a jukebox she would later realize was broken. Among its various patrons were the canine royal guards, surprisingly. The bartender was a humanoid monster, except his head was literally a flame. His attire (which aren't burning) consisted of the stereotypical bartender attire for a saloon, and a pair of glasses.

"No matter where I go, it's the same menu, the same people," one bunny monster patron complained, quite obviously inebriated. "Help! I want new drinks an' h-h-h-hot guys! I guess the bartender's kind of h-h-h-hot…"

Iji chuckled a bit at that pun.

"Hmmm… Isn't human food different from monster food?" Mused one yellow monster with a huge mouth. "It does things like "spoil". And when you eat it, it passes all the way through your whole body. Disgusting. I'd love to try it sometime. And I've heard they have things called bathrooms."

_Okay. That explains the lack of toilet in my room._

"I 'put out a line' for some girls today." She heard someone gossip. The speaker turned out to be an ugly fish monster that was flesh-colored and had gray hairs. He seemed to be addressing Lesser Dog, who was playing cards with itself. "Someone told me that there are plenty of fish in the sea… Well, I'm taking that seriously. I'm literally going to make out with a fish. I guess I could ask out Undyne, but I think she likes someone already."

And then she identified the voice. "Hold on…is that you, Nishibi?"

The ugly fish monster turned to face her, and asked, "Would you happen to be the gal who called me on the phone about an hour ago?"

"Guess that's me."

He then smiled. "It's a pleasure to see you face-to-face, Iji!"

"…Likewise," she replied cautiously. "What does this place have that we can eat?"

* * *

After a short meal consisting of burgers and fries, and gently turning down Nishibi's advances, as well as overhearing some information regarding the capital getting crowded and moving to Snowdin, Iji left Grillby's and continued exploring Snowdin. One mouse monster wrapped up in a scarf was despairing on their situation and how everybody else was trying to forget it, just like the orange horned monster next to them, who seems to be the "Stepford" type of smiler.

To her left was another path. which she checked and found the following; a family of slimes (different from the Moldsmals, one had a mustache, and one had a hat), a monster with a strange fetish for door knocks, a bulky werewolf throwing large blocks of ice into the river. But what most puzzled her about that is the little building the ice was coming from. She'd investigate, but that would be rude to the lupine.

Further up, there was what seemed to be a stop for those passing the river to stop at Snowdin. And that's when Iji's phone rang. Naturally, she answered it. "Hello! Can I speak to G… …Wait a second. Is this the wrong number?" All of a sudden, the caller burst into song.

"Oh it's the wrong number! The wrong number song!  
We're very very sorry that we got it wrong!  
Oh it's the wrong number! The wrong number song!  
We're very very sorry that we got it wrong! "

And then they hung up.

"Okay, that' was weird," she said to herself before going back the way she came, but not before spotting yet another camera in a nearby tree. As she did, she saw the library to her left, which was misspelled "Librarby". Regardless, she entered, with the intent of research.

* * *

Inside the library, Iji encountered a green lizard-like monster who served as the librarian (and apologized for the misspell), what seems to be a Loox like the one in the ruins, and two other monsters who claim to be the editors for Snowdin's newspaper, though that is usually filled with comics and games since very little goes on in the quiet town (skeleton antics aside).

After casually greeting them, she quickly got started with her research. Picking six books from the shelves at random, Iji then seated herself at the table with the rest of the monsters. The first book she read was about monster funerals, where she found out that when they die, they turn to dust (and that dust is spread on that person's favorite thing, and their presence will live on in it). The second book reveals that monsters are mostly made of magic (and humans mostly of water, which is true), and claim to be far weaker than humans with their physical forms. The third was still a work in progress by one of the newspaper editors. The fourth basically stated that the strength of an attack on a monster is determined by the monster's willingness to fight (the less of that, the weaker their defenses) and the cruelty of the attacker's intent (the crueler, the stronger). Iji hopes not to have to test that out anytime soon.

The fifth book was another chapter of monster history, where they moved out of their old city, Home (which now became the Ruins where Toriel and a few others lived in), braving harsh cold, damp swampland, and searing heat, until we reached what they now called their capital; New Home (with a footnote that their King was really bad at names). The sixth book merely reminisced on what monster SOULs were made of (love, hope, compassion) but that its absolute nature is unknown since humans have proven their SOULs don't need these things to exist.

With those books done, Iji returned them to their places, then checked out a couple more books.

Her research lasted for a few hours given the small selection of books, which seemed to puzzle the library patrons and the librarian before they dismissed her as very studious. Among the things she found out about the Underground were the prophecy regarding the "Delta Rune" (first seen in Toriel's robe) which went as follows: "The Angel… The One Who Has Seen The Surface… They will return. And the underground will go empty." Some think this means the Angel will free monsterkind from their "prison", others think this freedom is of the "mortal coil" variety (a.k.a. genocide). Other things she read about were the autobiography of a robot celebrity called Mettaton, a compendium of nearly every type of monster in the Underground, a list of achievements of a Dr. Alphys (she remembered Papyrus mentioning it), instructions on how to reach a certain "Temmie Village", and a very old and almost forgotten book regarding a "W.D. Gaster". Iji made sure to take notes in her Tasen logbook.

One particular book that caught her eye was the one called The Undertale. It talked about how a human (which she would later deduce was the first since the monsters' imprisonment) fell into the Ruins, and how the human called out for help, injured. She read that Asriel, the king's son, heard the human's call, and brought them back to the castle. Over time, Asriel and the human became like siblings, and the King and Queen treated the human child as their own, giving the Underground hope. The book came with illustrations, and Iji could swear that the queen looked a lot like Toriel, and given what she had said to her back in the ruins, it was a high possibility that she was **at least** part of King Asgore's royal court, if she wasn't actually the queen herself; she had no way of telling if Toriel was unique among her kind (given how many monsters of other kinds she had encountered).

And then, in the tale, the human became very ill, and had one final request that was impossible for them to enact: to see the flowers from their village. The human died the next day. Wracked with grief, Asriel absorbed the human's SOUL, transforming into a being with incredible power, and with it, crossed the barrier, another thing that Iji noted for another time.

Asriel had carried the human's body into the sunset, back to the village of the humans. He reached the center of the village, found a bed of golden flowers, and carried the human there. Naturally, the villagers saw Asriel holding the human's body and came with the natural conclusion anybody would make in that situation; that Asriel killed the child. The humans attacked him with everything they had, but despite having the power to destroy them all, he didn't, and simply left. He had been wounded from the attack as he stumbled home, entered the castle, collapsed, and died, his dust spreading across the garden.

The kingdom had fallen into despair, as the King and Queen had lost two children in one night. The King decided that it was time to end the suffering, and declared that every human who falls down in the underground must die, and that with enough souls, the barrier can be shattered.

Iji found this puzzling; if they knew a monster can cross the barrier with **one** human SOUL, surely they could've collected more from the other side of the barrier, and then come back with them (assuming that the monsters have some way of collecting SOULs). However, if they had freed themselves that early, they would've also suffered casualties when the Tasen attacked Earth, and likely even become extinct; she didn't think their powers would've helped in the long run against advanced alien weaponry.

Finally finished with her research, Iji thanked the librarian and left, more enlightened on monsters than she was before.

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide, monster_compendium, temmie_village_directions, gaster_note, the_undertale

* * *

Now out of the "librarby", Iji continued her way across Snowdin, passing by a large house decorated with Christmas lights. There were also two mailboxes, one of them with loads of unread junk mail stuffed into it. Aside from the front door, there was also a back door. Not that Iji ever plans on sneaking in. This was likely where Sans and Papyrus live, judging by the names on the mailboxes. Past the house was a shack that seemed to be locked from the inside. Beyond that…well, if the monster history book was correct, the swampland was next.

Iji continued through the path flanked by trees on either side, with the river flowing beyond on her left. The place was getting so cold out this way, mist was getting thicker with each step forward. Eventually, even she couldn't see in front of her own face. And then she realized she wasn't alone.

"IJI." Papyrus was finally performing his duty as a sentry guard. And she could see him from this distance, if only as a silhouette. "ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE… THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER'S PUZZLE-SOLVING SKILLS. A DESIRE TO HAVE A COOL, SMART PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL. THESE FEELINGS… THEY MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!" She didn't feel like correcting him. "I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON'T EVER WONDER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS IS LIKE. I PITY YOU… LONELY HUMAN… WORRY NOT! YOU SHALL BE LONELY NO LONGER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE YOUR…"

Papyrus was silent for a couple of seconds, as if hesitant to say what he wanted to say, as if he was being conflicted. He then turned away.

"NO… NO, THIS IS ALL WRONG! I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND!" He then turned back to Iji. "YOU ARE A HUMAN! I MUST CAPTURE YOU! THEN, I CAN FULFILL MY LIFELONG DREAM! POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS! THAT'S PAPYRUS! THE NEWEST MEMBER…OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"

And as was feared, Iji's SOUL began to glow; Papyrus was going to fight! And then, for some reason, the mist cleared enough so that the two combatants can see each other. After getting so acquainted with the skeleton, for the second time she had to face off against somebody important, Iji couldn't bring herself to even think of attacking him, and so did not unholster her Nanogun. Unfortunately, going past him like she tried to do with Toriel wasn't an option, as the entire area was blocked off by a oblong wall of what looked like bones, meaning the only way past Papyrus was through him, and not even going around was possible as it made itself out to be like a hallway. And their texture was reminiscent of most monster attacks, so there was no going through that. Besides, maybe she could convince Papyrus, even befriend her, so as to curry favor so she could see King Asgore and negotiate.

And then it turns out that during her musings, Papyrus was ready to attack. "NYEH HEH HEH!" He then thrust an arm forward and small bones came out from the ground and dragged their way towards Iji. Not amused by the attack, she stepped right over the bones easy-peasy. She then consulted her phone for tips on what she could do, and only now wondered how it knew what was optimal. Aside from Check, there was also Insult and Flirt.

She expressed confusion at the last one and parroted. "Flirting? With a skeleton?"

Unfortunately, being the cuckoo he was, Papyrus heard that and responded, "WHAT?! FL-FLIRTING?! SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR **ULTIMATE FEELINGS**! W-WELL! I'M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!"

Iji still didn't know much of Papyrus, so she decided to try and play to his likes. "Uhh…I can make spaghetti?"

"OH NO! YOU'RE MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS! I GUESS THIS MEANS I HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU…? LET'S DATE L-LATER! AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!"

More bones came. She stepped over them easy.

"NOW! WHAT SHOULD I WEAR FOR OUR DATE?" Papyrus began to muse to himself.

He seemed very influence-able, so Iji decided maybe she could take her time to convince Papyrus that she is not an enemy, that she doesn't want to fight him, and that deep down he didn't want to fight her either.

Even more bones came. Rinse and repeat.

"WHAT SHOULD I COOK FOR OUR DATE?"

More bones, more stepping over.

Papyrus then took out a cologne bottle branded Bone Cologne and sprayed it behind where his ears would be if he had any.

_How does he even manage to stay in the Guard if he's not taking his job seriously?_

"SO YOU WON'T FIGHT… THEN, LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY FABLED 'BLUE ATTACK'!"

A flurry of bones that were colored blue like some of the Snowdin monsters' attacks were sent flying Iji's way. Knowing already what to do, she stood stock still as she let them all pass through.

"Papyrus. I don't think you're taking this fight very seri—"

She was cut off when her SOUL turned blue, fell to the snowy ground, and she felt her heart become a bit heavy. And then a bone came at her from behind. She tried stepping over it, only for her now-blue SOUL not to move, and so she turned the step-over into a hop. Her SOUL seemed to hop up as well, but only up to the lowest possible point in her body, and so the bone managed to strike her SOUL, and it felt like being bludgeoned by an old dinosaur femur. Not that she knew what that felt like.

"YOU'RE BLUE NOW. THAT'S MY ATTACK. NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

And that's when she realized what exactly Sans meant by his brother's **blue attack**. Maybe Papyrus was some sort of "moronic badass"; despite his silliness, he may actually be very dangerous.

"HMMM… I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD WEAR…" Papyrus continued to muse to himself as he continued sending out bones, which Iji now had to jump over, and then he dabbed MTT-Brand Bishie Cream behind his non-existent ears. He then gave a weird look at her. "WHAT!? I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT DATE THING!"

More bones came, and Iji had to jump higher to dodge them. Thanks to her leg enhancements and those jump upgrades all the way back when, that wasn't difficult at all. Papyrus didn't seem to notice that particular feat and was dabbing MTT-Brand Anime Powder behind his non-existent ears.

"YEAH! DON'T MAKE ME USE MY **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

More bones. More jumping. And some ducking since some of the bones were impractical to jump over. MTT-Brand Cute Juice was next to go behind his "ears".

"I CAN ALMOST TASTE MY FUTURE POPULARITY!"

Even more bones. Even more jumping. And then there came a blue bone right after that, which she let pass through her. And then a bone came the other way, catching her by surprise. Still, all these attacks were relatively weak, taking away only three HP each. Up next for Papyrus's non-existent ears were MTT-Brand Attraction Slime.

"PAPYRUS: HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"

The bone attacks were getting more elaborate, starting with two bones that required jumping through the gap, another overhanging bone, and then a row of bones that required a much higher jump to vault over.

 _Sheesh! His attacks are getting difficult, and he's_ _ **still**_ _not taking this seriously?! Why isn't he in the Royal Guard?_ Up next was MTT-Brand Beauty Yogurt. _Wait, why am I even noticing this?_

"PAPYRUS: UNPARALLELED SPAGHETTORE!"

More elaborate bone attacks. More dodging with jumps or standstills. Papyrus seriously had potential. And then he only now seemed to realize he doesn't have ears.

"UNDYNE WILL BE REALLY PROUD OF ME!"

A series of bones came her way that required some vaulting over, the last of them going at a higher speed.

"THE KING WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY SMILE!"

Small bones came towards her from both sides, forcing her to find where they crossed one another and timed her jumps so that she wouldn't get caught by any of them.

"MY BROTHER WILL… WELL, HE WON'T CHANGE VERY MUCH."

Same bone pattern, shorter height, greater speed, requiring short hops instead of long jumps.

"I'LL HAVE LOTS OF ADMIRERS! BUT…"

Papyrus sent out another set of bone attacks, a small bone heralding plenty of bone pairs that required precise jumping to get past.

"WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU?"

The last attack was repeated, but Iji took a hit this time around.

"SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS REALLY RARE…"

A variant of the previous attack was next, but this time with a row of them, requiring tricky jumps (or tanking the hits). And another wave of bones came…and they were changing in length.

"AND DATING MIGHT BE KIND OF HARD…"

Up next was a sequence of bones alternating between long and blue, and short and white, requiring backwards jumps to avoid SOUL damage.

"AFTER YOU'RE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY."

More bones. Again. Of course. He's a skeleton, after all.

"URGH… WHO CARES?! GIVE UP!"

As Iji dodged the next series of moving bone attacks, which required vaulting over, dashing past so as not to get "crushed", and timing her vaults so as to get through, she then realized something. _Wait a second! What am I doing?! I'm trying to make my way to King Asgore! I should surrender so I can see him easily!_

"GIVE UP OR FACE MY… **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

"Papyrus? Could you calm down?", Iji called out to him.

"YEAHH! VERY SOON I WILL USE MY **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

 _Oh dear. Is he so in the zone he's not listening anymore?_ Oh, and more bone attacks.

"Papyrus?!" she tried again as she dodged.

"NOT TOO LONG AND I WILL USE THAT **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

Nothing doing. More bone attacks came. "Papyrus!"

"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE… BEFORE MY **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

Bones again, familiar pattern. "Papyrus! Could you **please** stop and listen?!"

"BEHOLD… MY **SPECIAL ATTACK**!"

He summoned a bone…which was promptly taken by a white dog at it munched on it. The dog didn't seem to be an attack like the ones the Royal Guard dogs use.

"WHAT THE HECK! THAT'S MY SPECIAL ATTACK! HEY! YOU STUPID DOG!" The dog then noticed Papyrus and looked at him. "DID YOU HEAR ME!? STOP MUNCHING ON THAT BONE!" Instead of doing as he said, the dog scuttled away with the bone, passing through the bone barrier he had set up. "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" Once the dog was gone, he sighed. "OH WELL. I'LL JUST USE A REALLY COOL REGULAR ATTACK."

With another chance, Iji tried again. "Papyrus! Could you **please** _**stop**_ for a second here?!"

But he wasn't still out of 'the zone' as he let out a sigh. "HERE'S AN ABSOLUTELY NORMAL ATTACK."

This 'normal attack' consisted of two small bones coming up from behind, two more from the front, followed by two taller bones converging from both sides, almost hitting her, two more with changing heights, which **did** hit her, two more she had to duck, and four more she had to jump over, and then a series of three from the front that only slightly changed heights, three more from behind, the dog that took Papyrus's special attack, bones spelling "Cool", bones spelling "Dude", a bone with sunglasses on a skateboard, and finally a massive wave of bones followed in the end by a gigantic one.

Preparing everything she's got, Iji made a running jump before making the highest jump she could ever make, vaulting over the entire thing and just barely passing over the giant bone, much to Papyrus's amazement this time, since he was now watching.

A small bone followed this attack as a last-ditch attempt to damage her, but Iji managed to evade that one, too. And it was clear that the skeleton had exhausted himself, and was breathing heavily, even though he doesn't have any lungs…maybe.

"WELL…! IT'S CLEAR… YOU CAN'T! DEFEAT ME!", he said between huffs of breath. "YEAH! I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS! THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY! I WILL **SPARE** YOU, HUMAN! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY **MERCY**."

"Oh, thank God, Papyrus," Iji finally sighed in relief as her SOUL vanished from visibility once more. She was far from tired physically, but her mind was a bit. As the wall of bones finally disappeared, so did the mist, leaving the area clear to see. Oh, and there was an ice cube that passed by.

"NYOO HOO HOO," Papyrus lamented. "I CAN'T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU. UNDYNE'S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME. I'LL NEVER JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD, AND… MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT!"

"We can be friends, Papyrus," she offered as she approached the skeleton.

"REALLY!? YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS, WITH ME?" he gasped in disbelief. "WELL THEN, I GUESS… I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR YOU!" And he was back to his joyful self. "WOWIE! WE HAVEN'T EVEN HARD OUR FIRST DATE, AND I'VE ALREADY MANAGED TO HIT THE FRIEND ZONE!" Iji held back a chortle. "WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM?"

"That's not how it works, though I can teach you more another time."

Papyrus seemed to be eager for that. "YOU TAUGHT ME A LOT, IJI. I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS THROUGH! AND I'LL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SURFACE."

"Actually, I'm trying to reach the King. I'm here to negotiate with him."

"WELL, MY DIRECTIONS WILL BE THE SAME EITHER WAY, AND BEING A HUMAN, I BET YOU'D WANT TO FIND A WAY OUT REGARDLESS!"

"That's true…"

"CONTINUE FORWARD UNTIL YOU REACH THE END OF THE CAVERN. THEN… WHEN YOU REACH THE CAPITAL, CROSS **THE BARRIER**. THAT'S THE MAGICAL SEAL TRAPPING US ALL UNDERGROUND. ANYTHING CAN ENTER THROUGH IT, BUT NOTHING CAN EXIT… EXCEPT SOMEONE WITH A POWERFUL SOUL. LIKE YOU! THAT'S WHY THE KING WANTS TO ACQUIRE A HUMAN. HE WANTS TO OPEN THE BARRIER WITH SOUL POWER. THEN US MONSTERS CAN RETURN TO THE SURFACE!

"OH, I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU. TO REACH THE EXIT, YOU WILL HAVE TO PASS THROUGH **THE KING'S** CASTLE. **THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS… HE IS… …WELL…** " Iji prepare for the worst, given what Toriel had said regarding him. "HE'S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER!"

_What?!_

"EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY. I AM CERTAIN IF YOU JUST SAY 'EXCUSE ME, MR. DREEMURR… CAN WE PLEASE TALK?', HE'LL BE ALL EARS FOR IT, AND IF YOU WANT TO GO HOME, HE'LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF!

"ANYWAY! THAT'S ENOUGH TALKING! I'LL BE AT HOME BEING A COOL FRIEND! FEEL FREE TO COME BY AND HAVE THAT DATE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

"Why don't we go together right now?" Iji suggested. She's dated at least once before, but they didn't hit it off well and eventually parted ways. Of course, after the Alpha Strike, they were most definitely dead.

"WOWIE! YOU MUST BE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE REALLY SPECIAL, A PLACE I LIKE TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME!"

With great strides, he started running back to Snowdin, Iji following right behind him. Eventually, they reached the house with the two mailboxes and Christmas lights.

"MY HOUSE!" he gestured as they stopped in front of it, and then entered together.

* * *

Papyrus's (and obviously Sans's) house was a humble abode. To Iji's immediate left was a flatscreen TV on a table, with a sock and sticky notes next to it and a green sofa across it. To her right is a rock on a plate and covered with sprinkles. Ahead of her was what was probably the kitchen, complete with a stove, countertop, refrigerator, trash can, and a sink, though the cupboard beneath it was so tall she can't reach it to wash her hands or anything like that.

Papyrus stood on the far left end of the room, next to a red book on a small table. To his left was stairs leading to the upper floor, which had two doors, obviously the skeletons' rooms. One door had a lot of warning signs, but it looked like the type that was put there to look cool. The other door was plain, but there seemed to be something going on inside there. Sans was probably inside there right now. Between the doors was a short hallway with a picture of a bone hung on the wall.

She inquired on the various items, which Papyrus answered with his usual enthusiasm. The rock was Sans's pet, and was covered in sprinkles because he wouldn't take responsibility for it, leaving it to Papyrus. Iji then told him that Sans likely chose a rock as a pet since it doesn't **need** feeding. The sock and notes was Papyrus telling Sans to return his sock to him room, with the shorter skeleton being a trolling lazy bum and leaving it. The messages went as follows:

\- SANS! PICK UP YOUR SOCK!  
\- ok.  
\- DON'T PUT IT BACK DOWN! MOVE IT!  
\- ok.  
\- YOU MOVED IT TWO INCHES! MOVE IT TO YOUR ROOM!  
\- ok.  
\- AND DON'T BRING IT BACK!  
\- ok.  
\- IT'S STILL HERE!  
\- didn't you just say not to bring it back to my room?  
\- FORGET IT!

She then turned on the TV (after asking permission from Papyrus), which had no program currently on air, but instead had a notice saying "Stay Tuned For Our New Program - MTT", MTT she deduced as meaning Mettaton, that celebrity she looked up earlier at the library. After turning it off, she plopped down on the couch, which made a jangling sound. Curious, she perused through the folds and found twenty Gold. She offered it to Papyrus, who said, "YOU CAN KEEP IT! WE'RE FRIENDS AFTER ALL!"

After pocketing the coins, she then approached the kitchen and investigated the sink. "IMPRESSED?" Papyrus asked as he moved over so that she can see him from her current position. "I INCREASED THE HEIGHT OF MY SINK. NOW I CAN FIT MORE BONES UNDER IT! TAKE A LOOKSY!" She opened it…and found the same dog from before munching on one of them. THe rest of the bones have apparently been eaten. "WHAT!? CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!" Right as the dog skedaddled for it, Iji attempted to grab it, but it slipped from her grip and managed to blast through the door, opening it without operating the latch. "CURSES!" From Sans's room, a trombone sounded off, playing a "loser tune" she heard occasionally on comedy shows on TV. "SANS!" Papyrus cursed. " STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC!"

After closing the door, Iji checked the fridge next, seeing what monsters like him eat. "AH-HA! INTERESTED IN MY FOOD MUSEUM?" It looks like Papyrus was quick to cheer up. "PLEASE. PERUSE MY CULINARY ARTSHOW." Half of the fridge was filled with containers all labelled "spaghetti." (The other half contained nothing but an empty bag of chips. "GREAT FRIDGE, ISN'T IT?"

"Oh yeah, that reminds me," Iji said. "After this, remind me to return your microwave."

"I CERTAINLY WILL!"

Iji checked out the stove next, which had an empy pie tin inside, in which Papyrus said, "MY BROTHER ALWAYS GOES OUT TO EAT. BUT RECENTLY, HE TRIED "BAKING" SOMETHING. IT WAS LIKE… A QUICHE. BUT FILLED WITH A SUGARY, NON-EGG SUBSTANCE. HOW ABSURD!"

"Now now, that's not a nice thing to say about your brother, Papyrus," she chided.

"I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. THAT IS NOT THE COOL THING TO DO."

She next checked the book Papyrus was next to, since he went back to his old position as soon as she left the kitchen. it seemed to be a joke book of sorts. Upon opening it, she saw a quantum physics book. She opened that, only to find another jook book. Inside **that** was another quantum physics book. Iji decided not to look into it any further and closed the book.

After that, Iji decided to go up to what was presumably Papyrus's room. THAT'S MY ROOM! IF YOU'VE FINISHED LOOKING AROUND, WE COULD GO IN AND… DO WHATEVER PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY DATE?"

"Sure…I guess." _I'm not into skeletons, or anybody for that matter, but he looks so eager. And I need to gain favor. So just go with it, and try to gently turn him down after the date._

* * *

Papyrus's room was a cozy one. To her immediate right, she could see a box filled with bones. And these bones looked familiar…

"HEY, THOSE ARE ALL THE ATTACKS I USED ON YOU," the tall skeleton explained as he entered the room as well and moved to the center. "GREAT MEMORIES, HUH? SEEMS LIKE IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY… EVEN THOUGH IT BASICALLY JUST HAPPENED."

"Huh. You managed to preserve all of that?" Iji asked as she strolled over to the bed on the left side of the room. It was shaped like a red car, and looked like one of those expensive kiddie beds.

"THAT"S MY BED! IF I EVER GET TO THE SURFACE… I'D LIKE TO DRIVE DOWN A LONE HIGHWAY. WIND IN MY HAIR… SUN ON MY SKIN… OF COURSE, THAT'S JUST A DREAM. SO INSTEAD I CRUISE WHILE I SNOOZE."

 _You have neither hair nor skin, and cars probably don't exist as you know it anymore. And if our Santa is real, he's probably gone, too,_ the human thought solemnly as she then inspected the action figures on the table to the left of the bed before walking over to it and inspecting them.

"AH, YES. ACTION FIGURES," Papyrus spoke again. "A GREAT REFERENCE FOR THEORETICAL BATTLE SCENARIOS. HOW DO I HAVE SO MANY? WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THEY'RE FROM… A CHUBBY, SMILING MAN WHO LOVES TO SURPRISE PEOPLE. YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! SANTA!"

 _Either monsters have their version of Santa Claus or it's just some very charitable monster._ Iji then glanced at the pirate flag to her right, It looked rather beat-up, was black, and depicted a skull and crossbones; a stereotypical pirate flag.

"ISN'T THAT FLAG NEATO? UNDYNE FOUND IT AT THE BAY… I THINK IT'S FROM THE HUMAN WORLD? NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. WHY WOULD A HUMAN FLAG… HAVE A COOL SKELETON ON IT? WELL… I HAVE A THEORY. I THINK HUMANS… MUST HAVE DESCENDED FROM SKELETONS! NYEH HEH HEH!"

"Actually…" she stopped upon realizing she doesn't know how to properly explain to a skeleton monster that humans have skeletons inside their bodies, and how Papyrus would react to it. It wasn't an important issue to explain, anyway. "This flag is from a group of people called pirates, who are basically thieves who sail across water. The skull and crossbones are used as a form of intimidation."

Papyrus was impressed as she moved over to the bookshelf next to the flag. "WOWIE! YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THE HUMAN WORLD!"

"What books do you have here, Papyrus?" Iji asked as she pointed at two such items at the same time, as they were next to each other.

"THAT BOOK'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES. 'ADVANCED PUZZLE CONSTRUCTION FOR CRITICAL MINDS.' THAT NEXT BOOK'S ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVORITES. 'PEEK-A-BOO WITH FLUFFY BUNNY.' THE ENDING ALWAYS GETS ME."

She peered to the right of the bookshelf and saw a door. "This your closet?" She remembered not to ask about the bathroom, since monsters don't excrete. There's still the matter of baths, though.

"WELL, I ASSURE YOU THERE ARE NO SKELETONS INSIDE IT! EXCEPT ME SOMETIMES."

She then noticed the computer on the far right, which consisted of a (non-flatscreen) monitor, keyboard, mouse, and CPU. Against it was a window, which was naturally closed.

"The INTERNET! I'M QUITE POPULAR THERE. I'M JUST A DOZEN AWAY… FROM A DOUBLE DIGIT FOLLOWER COUNT!" _What? Either that means he somehow has negative two followers or is counting backwards from a hundred eleven._ "OF COURSE, FAME HAS A STEEP PRICE. A JEALOUS TROLL HAS BESIEGED MY ONLINE PERSONA. ALWAYS SENDING ME BAD PUNS IN A GOOFY FONT…"

It was a wonder to know that the monsters had an 'internet'. "Do you mind if I use your computer for a while after our…date?" she asked. She had half a mind to see if she can hack it, but she felt that would be rude to Papyrus. Monster technology might behave differently from tech by humans or Tasen (and Komato).

"NO PROBLEM, IJI! I'LL EVEN TEACH YOU!"

She considered turning him down on that, but then realized maybe the operating system monster computers use is fundamentally different from the systems. "That would be nice," she said with a smile.

"SO, UM… IF YOU'VE SEEN EVERYTHING, DO YOU WANT TO START THE DATE?"

The human shrugged her shoulders before assuming one arm in an akimbo position. "Why not?"

"OKAY! DATING START!" Immediately, Iji's SOUL began to glow, which had her worried for a second, but Papyrus wasn't assuming any battle stances, so she decided to calm down for now. "HERE WE ARE! ON OUR DATE! I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. BUT DON'T WORRY! YOU CAN'T SPELL "PREPARED" WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME!"

… _Okay. If he doesn't know what a date is, maybe turning him down won't be so hard after all._

From behind his…somewhere, Papyrus produced a booklet. "I SNAGGED AN OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK FROM THE LIBRARY! WE'RE READY TO HAVE A GREAT TIME! LET'S SEE… STEP ONE… PRESS THE [C] KEY ON YOUR KEYBOARD FOR 'DATING HUD'."

 _This isn't a video game, Papyrus. What kind of manual is that, anyway?_ (3)

"WOWIE! I FEEL SO INFORMED! I THINK WE'RE READY FOR STEP TWO! 'STEP TWO… ASK THEM ON A DATE.'" He cleared his throat(?) before declaring, "IJI! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… WILL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!"

"That's not how asking works, Papyrus," Iji replied. "But sure."

The easily impressionable skeleton put his hands to his face and…blushed, his eyes starry. "R-REALLY? WOWIE! I GUESS THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR PART THREE!" Resuming his normal expression, Papyrus consulted the book again. "STEP THREE… PUT ON NICE CLOTHES TO SHOW YOU CARE!" He paused for a few seconds, as if something was just sinking in to his mind. "WAIT A SECOND. 'WEAR CLOTHING…' THAT RIBBON ON YOUR HAIR… YOU'RE WEARING CLOTHING RIGHT NOW! NOT ONLY THAT… EARLIER TODAY, YOU WERE ALSO WEARING CLOTHING!" Instantly, he was blushing again. NO… COULD IT BE? YOU'VE WANTED TO DATE ME FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!?"

Iji was a little lost on Papyrus's logical leaps. It took her a few seconds to collect herself enough to answer. "No. Humans wear clothing all the time. And so do monsters, right?"

Somehow, this seemed to completely shock the skeleton. "OH MY GOD! WAS YOUR INTEREST IN ME…" He put his hands to his face again, which was agin blushing. "PREDESTINED!? N-NOOOO! YOUR DATING POWER…!" He was silent for a few seconds longer, and Iji started to worry that she might've broken his simple mind before he assumed a smirk, which worried her for different reasons. "NYEH! NEYH HEH HEH! DON'T THINK YOU'VE BESTED ME YET! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… HAVE NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT DATING, AND I NEVER WILL!"

_But you said so yourself you've never dated._

"I CAN EASILY KEEP UP WITH YOU! YOU SEE, I, TOO, CAN WEAR CLOTHING! IN FACT… I ALWAYS WEAR MY "SPECIAL" CLOTHES UNDERNEATH MY REGULAR CLOTHES! JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY HAPPENS TO ASK ME ON A DATE! BEHOLD!"

Papyrus came back with a backward baseball cap, a t-shirt that read "Cool Dude," small shorts with buttons, gloves with striped trim, knee-high socks, and sneakers. He also wore basketballs on his shoulders, which he later called Mettaton's MTT-Brand FashionBalls.

"NYEH! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY SECRET STYLE?!" he then asked.

Iji honestly thought the whole ensemble was a tad tacky, and decided to say so.

Somehow, he was shocked again. "NO! YOUR HONESTY…IT SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU REALLY CARE!"

_Whoa. Papyrus can't seem to comprehend an insult. Unless it's a pun from his brother._

Once again, the skeleton collected himself. "HOWEVER… YOU DON'T TRULY UNDERSTAND THE **HIDDEN POWER** OF THIS OUTFIT! THEREFORE… WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS INVALID! THIS DATE WON'T ESCALATE ANY FURTHER! …UNLESS YOU FIND MY SECRET! BUT THAT WON'T HAPPEN!"

This got Iji into a contemplative state as she put her other hand to her chin as she thought on the secret of Papyrus's clothing. She figured she start from the top. "Your hat."

"MY HAT…? MY HAT. MY HAT! NYEH HEH HEH!" He took it off, and revealed a present box beneath it. "W-WELL THEN… YOU FOUND MY SECRET! I SUPPOSE I HAVE NO CHOICE! IT'S A PRESENT… A PRESENT J-JUST FOR YOU!"

"If you say so." Iji approached Papyrus, took the box from his head, removed the ribbon, and then unwrapped the box. The contents turn out to be—

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?" he asked.

"It's spaghetti. I still have your frozen one all the way back at Snowdin forest." And there was also a fork for eating it.

"SPAGHETTI. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, ISN'T IT? RIGHT! BUT OH-SO WRONG!" he declared. "THAT AIN'T JUST ANY OL' PASTA! THIS IS AN ARTISAN'S WORK! SILKEN SPAGHETTI, FINELY AGED IN AN OAKEN CASK… THEN COOKED BY ME, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS! IJI! IT'S TIME TO END THIS! THERE'S NO WAY THIS CAN GO ANY FURTHER!"

 _Oaken casks are for wine._ "All right. Let's see how your food really is." Spinning the fork to scoop up a couple sauced noodle strands, Iji took a bite out of it. Her face reflexively scrunched up. The taste was indescribable… Sans actually had a point with what he said regarding his brother's cooking.

Naturally, Papyrus took this the wrong way that favored both parties. "WHAT A PASSIONATE EXPRESSION! YOU MUST REALLY LOVE MY COOKING!" He blushed again. "AND BY EXTENSION, ME! MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN I DO! And he entered a state of shock once more as he had an epiphany and was screaming in shock.

"Papyrus!" Iji was seriously worried now as he twirled around the room, and then collapsed onto his bed. "Are you all right?!" She put the spaghetti down next to him and looked him over.

"IT'S CLEAR NOW," he thankfully spoke. "YOU'RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME."

His personality was so infectious, she was starting to sincerely feel those feelings as well, she even forgot about the terrible taste of his spaghetti. It was pity, but she couldn't help it. Maybe…just maybe, he might actually be accidentally telling the truth. Or maybe she's just sexually deprived, due to the whole "world mostly destroyed" deal up on the surface. And that was starting to worry her. _One step at a time, dammit! Focus on negotiations first, and then you can start exploring cross-species romance!_

"EVERYTHING YOU DO. EVERYTHING YOU SAY. IT'S ALL BEEN FOR MY SAKE. IJI. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TOO. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. IT'S TIME THAT I TOLD YOU. I, PAPYRUS… I… UMM…" All of a sudden, he got up from his bed into a sitting position. "BOY, IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST ME? … OH, SHOOT." He looked apologetic. "IJI, I… I'M SORRY. I DON'T LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU LIKE ME."

She felt a little crushed inside when he said that.

"ROMANTICALLY, I MEAN," he appended. "I MEAN, I TRIED VERY HARD TO! I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU FLIRTED WITH ME, THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU. THEN, ON THE DATE, FEELINGS WOULD BLOSSOM FORTH! I WOULD BE ABLE TO MATCH YOUR PASSION FOR ME! BUT ALAS… I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… HAVE FAILED. I FEEL JUST THE SAME AS BEFORE. AND INSTEAD, BY DATING YOU… I HAVE ONLY DRAWN YOU DEEPER… INTO YOUR INTENSE LOVE FOR ME! A DARK PRISON OF PASSION, WITH NO ESCAPE. HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS TO MY DEAR FRIEND…?"

This confession managed to knock Iji out of her inappropriate feelings. _Wow. He might actually be right there. Thanks, Papyrus._

Startling her again, he stood up from his bed and they were face-to-face, the five-inch difference between their heights all the more apparent. "NO! WAIT! THAT'S WRONG! I CAN'T FAIL AT ANYTHING! IJI! I'LL HELP YOU THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES! I'LL KEEP BEING YOUR COOL FRIEND, AND ACT LIKE ALL THIS NEVER HAPPENED. AFTER ALL, YOU ARE VERY GREAT. IT WOULD BE TRAGIC TO LOSE YOUR FRIENDSHIP. SO PLEASE… DON'T CRY BECAUSE I WON'T KISS YOU. BECAUSE, I DON'T EVEN HAVE LIPS."

Iji found herself laughing so hard she shed a tear from this emotional roller-coaster he had unwittingly invited her to ride with. For a moronic badass, his sincerity and optimism can actually make one underestimate him, just the way she nearly did in this game of emotions. "Thanks, Papyrus. I needed that," she said as she wiped that tear.

His smile got bigger at the end of that. "AND HEY, SOMEDAY, YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME! WELL, NO. THAT'S NOT TRUE. BUT I'LL HELP YOU SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST! NEYH HEH HEH HEH HEH! OH, AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO REACH ME…" He reached out to somewhere behind him again and handed her a slip of paper. "HERE'S MY PHONE NUMBER. YOU CAN CALL ME ANY TIME! PLATONICALLY. WELL, GOTTA GO! NYEH HEH HEH!"

Before he could zoom off, Iji grabbed him by the arm, and it felt like an actual bone. "Wait!"

Having been suddenly jerked like that, Papyrus had no choice but to turn around to face her again. "YES!"

"Have you forgotten something?"

It took a few seconds for it to click. "OH RIGHT! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WAS SUPPOSED TO TEACH YOU HOW TO USE THE INTERNET! WORRY NOT!"

* * *

From what Iji discovered of the monsters' internet, their cyberspace seems to be independent of human internet, and don't seem to have ever had any access to its information, which explained in part why most monsters don't recognize humans anymore, though that doesn't explain the ones in Snowdin Forest or the Ruins.

CoolSkeleton95 was his handle in the , and Iji was encouraged to make her own as well. She decided to sign herself in as NanoAnomaly75. "Human Anomaly", that name the Tasen and Komato had called her, has grown to her a bit, and embarrassingly even some humans called her that too.

She spent a two hours on the UnderNet, finding whatever relevant info she can. Among them are the fact that one of Papyrus's friends, who looked like some sort of fish-folk type of monster with an eye patch, yellow scleroses, and a red fin-like ponytail, goes by the handle StrongFish91. There was also other juicy tidbits like the entire Royal Guard roster, which showed an armored humanoid with a spear of energy as well as all of the dog guards back from Snowdin Forest, a report talking about Dr. Alphys and that she hasn't been seen in person for a long time, the fact that their advances in technology (and culture) despite not much contact with humanity as a whole is thanks to a garbage dump full of their stuff, and various factoids about life in the Underground. Iji made sure to copy them all down in her Tasen logbook. Knowledge was power, and she needs to be able to come up with negotiation terms for King Asgore.

For Papyrus's sake, she tried out more of his spaghetti. But it just didn't appeal to her. Every bite was a chore, but she continued on until it was finished. Perhaps she should cook brunch after this. Thankfully, turns out spaghetti was among the few meals she (still) knows how to cook. Or maybe she should go through her cans first, and Papyrus could discover something new. Although the fact that he may need to use the bathroom when they don't have any (how do they even know the concept? Oh, right; the garbage dump with all the human trash) is a little concerning. She hoped Toriel found a way around that.

* * *

After she made and ate brunch of her making with Papyrus, leaving him easily impressed, he bid him goodbye and continued on the path she was taking before he stopped him. It had grown misty again there before fading away once more, revealing that the snow path eventually melts off into a rock path, and that the trees stopped well before the no-snow point, revealing the river beside her. The path ahead turned more cavern-like as she walked, and the area took on a dark purplish-blue hue. Small crystals and glowing mushrooms served as light for this area, though she doesn't know what served as Snowdin's "outdoors" light. To her left was the river still, which eventually takes a left turn away from her, taking the thrown ice with it. To her right, she can see small waterfalls.

As she entered the next area, she found herself in a small 'room' with the arm-less monster kid overlooking something to her right, next to them a natural tunnel of water that eventually broke off to become a waterfall, behind the kid a red fish-like monster with a cyan t-shirt with a fish on it, a blue and bio-luminescent with a large corolla and six lighter-colored petals, and Sans at a sentry station, which still had snow like the Snowdin station, despite not being in a snowy area.

The monster kid noticed Iji, turned to face her, and greeted, "Yo! Are you sneaking out to see her, too? Awesome… She's the coolest, right!? I wanna be just like her when I grow up… Hey, don't tell my parents I'm here. Ha ha."

Seeing as Iji doesn't know their parents, she decided it'd be best to leave them be. Curious about the flower next to the fish monster, she asked him as she leaned down in front of it, "What's this?"

"What's this?" a voice identical to hers came from it, surprising her as she backed off a step.

"This is an Echo Flower," he explained. "It repeats the last thing it heard, over and over…"

"This is an Echo Flower," it promptly mimicked. "It repeats the last thing it heard, over and over…"

"Wow, that's interesting," she said.

"Wow, that's interesting," it parroted.

"Neat, huh?" he said.

"Neat, huh?" it copied.

Turning to the skeleton on his post, not wanting to play with the flower any longer, she approached him. Before she could greet him, he spoke first.

"what? haven't you seen a guy with two jobs before? fortunately, two jobs means twice as many legally-required breaks."

"Actually, I was under the assumption that you changed posts."

"speaking of jobs, i have to fight you at least once to keep this job. could'cha help me out?" (4)

Iji really didn't want to, but she figured if anything happens, at least she can learn what Sans can do. Or at least as much as he would allow. After all, if he was very lazy, his attacks could very well be easy to dodge. "I guess…" She shrugged her shoulders. "If that's what you want."

"thanks a million." And then the battle commenced as Iji's SOUL appeared. The other nearby monsters noticed, but didn't make any other moves, either to join in or get out of the way. Sans also casually walked around his station so that he was face-to-face with his opponent.

Realizing that she had forgotten to check Papyrus before, she decided to amend that by checking Sans. "Reeks of ketchup. Can only deal 1 damage," the phone said.

The short skeleton's response was to summon a minuscule bone akin to those of his brother's. …And it was slow as molasses. As it crossed between her legs, she looked at it with a bit of disbelief. If this was how he was going to be, maybe indulging him wasn't a good idea after all. Her phone was suggesting, apart from Check, Insult, Flirt, and Pun, but since the first was a bad thing to do, she didn't want to do the second, and her sense of humor wasn't exactly a strong suit of hers, so she decided to just stand by and wait for more of Sans's attacks.

And all she got was more tiny bones crawling towards her location. It literally took one step each to dodge the bones, and after a few more attacks, Sans shrugged his shoulders and raised his arms. He also looked like he was sweating.

"oh boy…anyway, my shift is over," he said. "i'm going to grillby's. wanna come?"

Iji thought about it for a moment. "I already ate with Papyrus… but sure. I'd like to have a chance to talk with you."

"well, if you insist… i'll pry myself away from my work… over here. i know a shortcut."

* * *

Iji couldn't remember what path they took, but it certainly wasn't back to Snowdin, yet somehow, the next thing she knew, she was in Grillby's, with its greasy odor and all its patrons.

"fast shortcut, huh?" Sans noted before greeting everybody as they made their way to the counter. "hey everyone."

"Hey, Sans," greeted Dogamy.

"Hi, Sans," greeted Dogaressa.

"Greetings, Sans," greeted the big-mouthed monster,

"Hiya, Sansy~" greeted the bunny monster.

"Hey Sans, weren't you just here for breakfast a few minutes ago?" asked Nishibi.

"nah, i haven't had breakfast in at least half an hour. you must be thinking of brunch." Somehow, this got everybody laughing. "here, get comfy." He gestured to one of the seats.

Remembering some classic practical jokes and how she first met Sans, Iji checked her given seat, and found a whoopee cushion. She picked it up, set it on the counter, and then sat down. Sans followed suit as she gave him a look.

"whoops, watch where you sit down. sometimes weirdos put whoopee cushions on the seats. anyway, let's order. whaddya want…?"

"I'll have to admit that by tussle with Papyrus has worked up a bit of an appetite," Iji replied. "I think I'll have a burger.."

"hey, that sounds pretty good. grillby, we'll have a double order of burg."

Immediately, the bartender, who was presumably the eponymous Grillby, made his way to the "Fire Exit". Iji then heard a scraping sounds to her right, turned around, and saw Sans using a comb on his head as if he had hair.

"so, what do you think of my brother? cool or uncool?"

Iji decided to go far the sarcastic answer. It was also partially the truth, since "cool" isn't how she'd describe Papyrus. "What if I said he wasn't?"

He seemed to take offense to that. "hey, pal. sarcasm isn't funny, okay? my brother's a real star. he's the person who pushed me to get this sentry job. maybe it's a little strange, but sometimes it's nice to have someone call you out on being lazy. even though nothing could be further from the truth."

"Sorry. I don't think of him as cool. I think of him as funny and sincere, but not cool. Sorry."

By then, Grillby has returned with two plates with burgers on them and laid them out in front of the skeleton and human before returning to his usual post and wiping an empty glass.

"here comes the grub," Sans said as he produced a red plastic squeeze bottle and handed it to her. "want some ketchup?"

"Sure." Iji took the bottle, noticed the very loose cap (which she begun to expect from Sans), and then screwed it tight before opening her burger and squeezing the ketchup out onto the patty before replacing the bun. "That prank was juvenile. And wasting food isn't funny."

Sans shrugged his shoulders. "eh, forgetddaboudit." He then scratched his posterior as Iji took out her canteen. "anyway, cool or not, you have to agree papyrus tries real hard. like how he keeps trying to be part of the royal guard. one day, he went to the house of the head of the royal guard and begged her to let him be in it." As Sans talked, Iji picked up her burger and started eating it, and then took a swig of water. "of course, she shut the door on him because it was midnight. but the next day, she woke up and saw him still waiting there. seeing his dedication, she decided to give him warrior training. it's, uh, still a work in progress."

 _Undyne, head of the Royal Guard. I'm bound to meet her eventually,_ Iji thought as she chewed her food, swallowed, then took another bite. _Should I try and meet her with Papyrus? Maybe that should work._

"oh yeah, I wanted to ask you something." Everything around them seemed to stop after that sentence. Or maybe it was just the tension. "have you ever heard of a talking flower?"

Immediately, Iji was reminded of Flowey. _Does he know him? Maybe he has answers, and I can certainly use some._ After gulping down her food, she replied. "Yeah! I do!"

"so you know all about it. the **echo flower**." Iji's expectations sank a bit. So he doesn't know after all. "they're all over the marsh. say something to them, and they'll repeat it over and over..."

"Okay. What does this have to do with anything?"

"what about it? well, papyrus told me something interesting the other day. sometimes, when no one else is around... a flower appears and whispers things to him. flattery... advice... encouragement... ...predictions. weird, huh? someone must be using an echo flower to play a trick on him. keep an eye out, ok? thanks."

_Either that's true, or it's Flowey and Sans doesn't know it. But what can I do about it?_

The atmosphere seemed to return to normal, and Sans got off of his seat. "welp, that was a long break. i can't believe i let ya pull me away from work for that long. oh, by the way… i'm flat broke. can you foot the bill? it's just 10000G."

Because she was just taking a swig of water when he said that, she immediately spat it out from disbelief at the exorbitant cost, the water barely missing Grillby as he immediately scooched away from the water. " _ **WHAT?!**_ "

"just kidding. grillby, put it on my tab." Sans then made his way to the door, but stopped just before he reached it. "by the way, i was going to say something, but i forgot." And with that, he left.

 _Oh man,_ Iji thought as she went back to eating her food. _There seems to be a lot going on in the Underground. Maybe it's no Tasen-Komato war, but it feels…damn. All I was supposed to do was negotiate peace terms with King Asgore. But with this Barrier… I wonder if my Nanogun can break it? What other properties does the Barrier have anyway? If it survived the Alpha Strike, and somehow protected the mountain it's in in the process, does that mean I can't break it with this weapon of mine? Or perhaps it has limited integrity like our Nanofields; after tanking a huge hit like that, hopefully it's weak enough for my Nanogun to break part of it. But no use mulling over it until I reach the Barrier itself._

That's when she noticed that Sans didn't eat his burger. She decided to eat it as well. Waste not, after all.

Once she was done with her (and Sans's food), she put away her canteen, and left Grillby's to continue her mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Look up "Ansaksie" in google images. You'll find a good image of her. As for why she's even here, I haven't seen many Undertale crossovers where the character that falls down is shortly accompanied by another. It's either alone or together. And I wanted to add another Iji character.  
> (2) The Child is just a child, and probably wasn't much of a reader, so I think more books in the library was plausible, and revealing plot points that would've been discovered much later in-game.  
> (3) I considered having the HUD in the dating game appear, but I thought that'd be too cheesy and unexplainable.  
> (4) Yeah. I decided to go there. Go for the fanmade Sans Pacifist fight.  
> Up next: Iji traverses Waterfall, finds the Temmies, and hits things off with Undyne.  
> See ya on Third!


	4. Journey Through Waterfall

nightelf37: I heard that Iji's got a 1.7 version. After playing it, I decided that I cannot adapt (much of) the new content into the fic for 2 reasons. One, Passive Weapons will make the inevitable showdown between Iji and Undyne too easy. Two, part of the story involves Iji coming to terms with her flawed "pacifist" view, especially the "reflect kills" part, which 1.7 has retconned to counting as kills (again). Of course, she's had other indirect kills, but still.

I've also read about the Undertale Narrator theory, and I think maybe I'll implement that. It's just that an adult mind is too strong for them to make themselves known to her at the start. And even when Iji was sleeping, it's also probably because the Narrator was sifting through her thoughts and experiences prior to entering the Underground before 'doing their job', and had to take quite a lot of time to do so.

Now that I've read a further analysis regarding that theory, I'm gonna assume their SOUL had some strange effects on Iji's Nanofield, and with it explains how monsters work through the phone, having already cracked it (with magic or some shit). Or not, as the Checks (even the one on Loox) can still be explained by other ways, and Iji won't be using the Check option anymore now that she has the "monster_compendium" file in the Logbook. I named it "compendium" after the Demonic Compendium in the _Shin Megami Tensei_ series.

Disclaimer: _Iji_ belongs to Daniel Remar, and _Undertale_ belongs to Toby Fox.

Trivia: When I was very young, _Titanic_ , and by extension "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion, gave me nightmares about ships sinking.

Phone Inventory:

Canteen, Spider Donut, Stick, Nice Cream, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Tasen Logbook, Flashlight, Pen, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Toy Knife, Worn Glove (2), Manly Bandanna

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Box of Raisins, Snowman Piece, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide, monster_compendium, temmie_village_directions, gaster_note, the_undertale, underground_compilation

nightelf37: In case you're wondering where the Faded Ribbon is, it's "equipped", tying Iji's hair into a ponytail.

* * *

After remembering to return the microwave in her inventory to Papyrus and Sans's house like she promised the former, Iji continued past Sans's new station and further into the area she would eventually come to know by the name Waterfall.

Along the way, she decided to give Papyrus a call and they talked about things like Sans' dirty room, how Papyrus hates Grillby's, about how Dr. Alphys is friends with Undyne, and the fact that Sans has visited the door to the Ruins. In return, Iji told him about life before the Alpha Strike, but couldn't bring herself to tell him about **those** events, and reminiscing on her old life made her really sad, and she felt it was best to share that story when she's ready, and when he and Sans are together. Papyrus was able to notice her sorrow and declared that he would do his best to cheer her up.

Once they ended the call, the first thing Iji truly noticed is a sign, a box (like in Snowdin and the forest), a waterfall just ahead where rocks rolled down it, and wooden paths to her right that led a bit downward. Upon asking him later, Papyrus would reveal that Undyne set the rocks up.

The sign next to the box read This is a box. you can put an item in or take an item out. Why would you, though? You can't use items when they're in the box! Sincerely, a box hater. Upon checking the contents, she found the stuff that she put in Snowdin's box. Looks like they really are connected somehow. And the Snowman Piece hasn't melted yet, just like the Snowman said.

First thing she did was inspect the river. To her right, the rocks fell. To her left, she noticed a blurry dark patch, almost as if there were something behind it. Entering the water (it wasn't even that deep, actually) she made her way to that dark patch, easily evading the rocks (and the ones that did hit her actually bounced off of her thanks to the Nanofield) and finding that the patch was a passageway to a small room.

This room as two glowing mushroom patches, just like in that one place where she encountered Glyde. There was also an old dusty ballerina's tutu, sized for a small child. It saddened Iji to know that other humans have fallen here and died. Ribbons, toy knives, gloves, and bandannas are one thing, but a tutu was a whole other story. Did these monsters truly deserve freedom? Maybe they have already suffered enough from their time Underground. Either way, with Earth still in need of much rebuilding, maybe the monsters can help this time around.

But there was one other thing she saw that she didn't expect to encounter in the Underground. Along with the tutu, but a few steps away from it, were blue balls of energy she has seen multiple times before. Blue balls that she has collected over the course of her journey to get the aliens to stop attacking Earth; Nano. (1)

 _What's this doing here? Did Tasen and Komato actually enter the Underground?_ She just assumed that was a plausible theory, but now there was proof right before her very eyes. And now she was wondering just how many casualties did the monsters suffer when the aliens presumably sent troops inside the mountain in search for survivors (humans for Tasen, Tasen for Komato).

Judging by how peaceful Snowdin and the Ruins were, it seems that the aliens have been successfully defeated (since none can leave the Underground because of the Barrier, though can Komato Assassins escape or not?). But since the Barrier has yet to be destroyed, it seems like neither Tasen nor Komato SOULs can substitute for a human SOUL for whatever reason, or the Underground's researchers are still finding the answer to that. Speaking of research, surely after the Alpha Strike they've been probing the Barrier for weaknesses, right? Why haven't any monsters appeared outside the Barrier; and if they have, why haven't the populace been informed?

Shaking off those thoughts and returning to the task at hand, Iji decided to pick up the tutu and store it in the box for a while, as well as pick up the Nano. While there're no Stations to upgrade her Nanofield here, or even enough Nano scattered for her to collect (if the Monsters had some way of picking it up for research), it's still useful.

Maybe, just maybe, she can find the keepsakes of the humans that came here before her and return them to the surface. But right now, she has to reach the capital and King Asgore.

After putting the tutu away, Iji went down the wooden path, which took her next to the waterfall, and led to an Echo Flower. The moment she approached it, it said, "I swore I saw something… Behind that rushing water."

Curious, and remembering all the cameras she's seen throughout the Underground, Iji approached the middle of the waterfall, the rocks falling down it, and indeed saw yet another one of them. She was half-tempted to try and use her Nanofield to crack it.

Normally, cracking only works between devices with Tasen and Komato Nanofields (and her own), Security Doors, and security boxes, but with the help of a Tasen cracker named Yukabacera (whom Vateilika still isn't happy with), she now has a prototype cracking program that can attempt to get inside foreign operating systems. Prior to the Tasen's Alpha Strike, Yuka had hacked into Earth's media network for entertainment reasons.

She considered cracking the camera, but then realized that unless her Nanofield displays images in front of her eyes, there was no real point, and while she may be good with computers, she was no elite cracker, and had no real idea on what to do with the camera if she did crack it. It's not like she knew what to do if she somehow gained access to the monsters' surveillance network. Besides, this was sidetracking, and she lost nearly an hour on Yuka's Hero 3D game; no way she can get distracted with trying this out.

Shaking her head, she returned to the main path, crossed the waterfall, and made her way to the next area.

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Box of Raisins, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

* * *

The next area consisted of a narrow-ish path with a patch of tall grass, enough to hide a small child standing, but not Iji (naturally). A cliff side was to her left, allowing anyone there to look down here. As she began to walk into the grass though, she then heard footsteps, and then a voice.

"H… HI, UNDYNE! I'M HERE WITH MY DAILY REPORT…"

It was Papyrus. And this Undyne lady was here, too! _I sure came at a bad time!_

"UHHH… REGARDING THAT HUMAN I CALLED YOU ABOUT EARLIER… …HUH? DID I FIGHT HER? Y-YES! OF COURSE I DID! I FOUGHT HER VALIANTLY!" Iji couldn't pick up whatever Undyne was saying to him in return, or maybe she was using gestures. "…WHAT? DID I CAPTURE HER? W-W-WELL… NO. I TRIED VERY HARD, UNDYNE, BUT IN THE END… I FAILED." Iji took out her Nanogun "…W-WHAT? YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THE HUMAN'S SOUL YOURSELF…" She then heard her skeleton friend walk. "BUT UNDYNE, YOU DON"T H-HAVE TO DESTROY HER! YOU SEE… YOU SEE…" She then heard walking again. He must've approached Undyne, and then back away. "…I UNDERSTAND. I'LL HELP YOU IN ANY WAY I CAN." And then she heard him walk, the sound fading. It seems that Undyne was now alone.

 _Oh no. Where does his loyalty lie in the end?_ Iji wondered. She stayed still for a minute, waiting for Undyne to leave. Not hearing any footsteps, she couldn't tell if the captain was still there, or already gone. If Undyne was like a ninja or some other kind of light-footed monster, or even a flier or floater like a Whimsun or Napstablook, there was no way of telling. Deciding she can't wait any longer, Iji took a few steps forward.

And then she heard a gruff feminine grunt, as if having her attention grabbed by her noise. Immediately, Iji slowly went prone into the grass, and set her Nanogun from Shotgun mode to Resonance Reflector mode. She's yet to determine whether or not it can deflect magic attacks, so there was no way of telling. Then came the sound of steps clad in heavy armor approaching the cliff side. As Iji turned around to see what's above her, she saw a humanoid in armor varying in light and dark shades of gray.

From Undyne's left hand came a spear of light blue energy, ready to hurl it into the grass. But instead of attacking immediately, even if it might miss, she just looked to her left, then to her right, and then banished the spear before backing away and out of sight.

Just in case Undyne was making a ploy, Iji decided to wait for several minutes. Before two can pass by though, a familiar child monster approached her.

"Yo… did you see the way she was staring at you…?" they said. "That…was AWESOME! I'm SOOOO jealous! What'd you do to get her attention…? Ha ha. C'mon! Let's go watch her beat up some bad guys!" With that, the monster kid ran off, and then she heard a thump. Iji immediately got up to see the kid had fallen onto his face, but he quickly pulled himself back up and continued running.

Once he was gone, Iji decided it was no use continuing to wait and decided to follow the kid, stowing her Nanogun once more. A feeling of dread hung over her, but she stayed determined. (2)

* * *

The next room consisted of a narrow path, some space to the left in the distance, and a small pool blocking her from the next area. There was also an old sign to her immediate left, embedded in the stone. She turned to read it. When four Bridge Seeds align in the water, they will sprout.

Perplexed, she continued on, and saw what looked like flower buds with closed petals. _So those are the Bridge Seeds._ She picked one up, and let it flow into the pool. Despite the current, the Seed moved straight into the other side. She also noticed in the pool two protrusions of land, as if telling her these are where the Bridge Seeds should be aligned in. After repeating the process three more times, upon placing the last Seed, their leaves spread out and the buds bloomed into flowers.

Iji wasn't sure if they could hold her weight, and didn't have some way of checking the water's depth level. She decided to place her foot on it. Besides, she can jump the gap anyway. One shoe landed on the sprouted Bridge Seed. It seemed to hold, and quite well, too. She put another foot on it, and prepared her arms to catch the shore in case she fell through.

They held surprisingly well, so Iji balanced herself as she crossed the "Bridge Blooms" and into the next area.

* * *

The first thing she saw upon entering was another monster, and her SOUL was now glowing; another battle.

It was a brown muscular merhorse (or rather a sea horse) with a long, winding green tail and a twelve-pack. According to her monster_compendium file, this monster was named Aaron. According to her phone, her options were to Shoo him off, or Flex like he's doing.

His smug demeanor implied that he won't be easily shooed away, so Iji decided to humor him by flexing in response. While her Nanofield has increased her strength, she does work out without activating it; keeping healthy is always good. At the very least, she's exercised enough to be able to carry the (moderately heavy) Nanogun with one hand without any boost from her Nanofield, though her arms still weren't that muscular.

Aaron didn't seem to mind, and flexed twice as hard. And for some reason, both of them felt a little stronger.

"Flexing contest?" Aaron asked. "Ok, flex more!" He then winked at her as his attack began. Flexing biceps emerged from right behind and started approaching her. Iji sidestepped these attacks as they made their way towards Aaron before disappearing.

Seeing him still flex, she decided maybe more flexing is required. Aaron flexed thrice as hard in response. "Nice! I won't lose tho." Another wink, and this time, sweat began to shoot out of his body. Since they looked like monster attacks, Iji did her best to evade them. One hit her, though, and it reeked of the boys locker room for a moment before becoming bearable.

 _Maybe just one more flex…_ Iji tried once more, and Aaron replied with an even harder flex…and he floated out of the room as he tried to do so. He also somehow dropped a pouch of Gold. Having gotten used to these encounters, Iji picked up the pouch and pocketed it, intending to ask another Aaron if he can return it to its owner.

Finally taking in what was right past Aaron, Iji beheld a wooden bridge leading to the rest of the room, which comprised of four Bridge Seeds, four glowing mushrooms, a sign in the middle of a waterlogged area, a plant-like golden bell, and a sign next to that bell. A river flowed way to the left, emerging from a waterfall, flowing all the way under the wood bridge and taking a left turn, passing the waterlogged sign, under another patch of land, and off into the distance. Past the little waterfall, was the entrance to the next area.

Curious on what's in the other path, as well as knowing she can jump the other path where a child would have use the Bridge Seeds to cross, and seeing a wooden dock there leading to another patch of land, Iji took the Bridge Seeds and let them flow into the dock's direction. Once they bloomed, she made her way across the flowers and to the dock, where she saw—

"Ansaksie?"

Indeed, the Komato Assassin was there, sitting on a bench, and inspecting a quiche in her hands. To her left was an Echo Flower, and her legs seemed to be wet.

"Hello again, Iji. I was just scouting the area," she greeted. Iji understood that Komato Assassins create mental maps of the area they're in, because teleporting into an unfamiliar place can have them end up teleporting into walls and floors. The Assassin named Asha lost his arm this way. Teleporting into a wall, that is, while fighting a couple of Tasen Elites, and it hadn't cut down his ego even a bit.

"Hello again, Iji. I was just scouting the area," echoed the Echo Flowers.

"I see."

"Oh, a piece of advice for you." Ansaksie put the quiche down to the side. "Watch out for that short skeleton Sans. I was prowling around this Waterfall area (yes, that's the name of this area) when I glimpsed him and you walking, and then you just disappeared all of a sudden." It seems that she had witnessed how Sans took Iji to Grillby's. "Thank Zentraidon you're all right."

Iji made no comment about that. Komato and Tasen have used that word as a stand-in for what one would normally say their religious deity. According to one logbook, Zentraidon is a taboo word coined by the extinct race the Komato discovered, meaning self-annihilation through rapid technological advancement and arrogance. Many mysteries still surrounded their species and the remains of their homeworld, and the Komato have been reverse-engineering their technology for galactic conquest. It's also considered treason to suggest that the Komato will be headed the same way, which the Tasen believe.

"You saw that?" The human went to the bench to sit down as well, the quiche between her and the Komato.

"Mm-hmm. Got worried for a bit when he teleported like that, wondering if I should just leave or try and do your mission for you."

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'm sure you know this already, but I saw Nano here. Your kind have been here, and likely attacked the monsters and died. There's also their captain of the guard, Undyne, and she's on the prowl. I don't want her to see you. If she has fought Komato and Tasen, she might kill you on sight. True, she'll likely do that to me too, but I think your kind is fresher in her memory than my kind."

"True. Fortunately, I still have plenty of teleportation charges left. I will have to be more careful, though. And don't worry, I haven't killed any monsters since you asked me not to."

"That's good."

"Oh, and for the record, before I got here, the Echo Flower said, 'I just wasn't ready for the responsibility.' I think whoever was talking was referring to this." Ansaksie gestured to the quiche. "Wanna take it?"

"I'm not sure," replied Iji. "Who knows how long this has been out here? But if I remember correctly, when I was in Papyrus's house (Sans is his brother and lives there, too), he mentioned Sans baking a quiche 'recently'. This could probably be it." She picked it up, produced her Phone, and opened the inventory. "I should probably keep it just in case." After storing the quiche in her phone, Iji found Ansaksie staring at the phone in stunned bewilderment.

"Whoa." was all she could say.

"I got this phone from Toriel. You don't have these types of storage systems in your world?"

"Not for food items and stuff like that. Only for ammo, and that's how our Nanoguns came to be."

"I'll try and find some way to get another one of these for you. I just realized we had no means of communication. You guys do have some form of radio, right?"

"Of course. Let me transfer it to you." Ansaksie gestured for Iji's hand, which she raised for her, and tapped a finger onto her hand, letting their Nanofields connect. Too much contact between different Nanofields can prove dangerous, as Iji can attest to when bypassing Tasen and Komato soldiers. "You really were planning on doing this alone, weren't you? Surely your brother planned for you to have a communicator with you."

"It seems like the Barrier around here prevents wireless communications through it. Their 'UnderNet' hasn't even been able to connect with our internet…when we still had it."

Yet another reminder of what the Tasen did just to escape the Komato. It didn't really bother Ansaksie a bit, but if Iji were to continue reminiscing on the things that are gone because of the Alpha Strike, it will really start to get to her.

"Done," said the Assassin as she pulled her finger away. "Just place your fingers to your right ear so you can talk to me."

Iji mimicked the position. "Like this?"

Ansaksie did the same. "Yeah. Well, I'll be staying here a while longer. You should get going."

"Right." The human got up from the bench. "Be seeing you. I'll try and describe the areas I've been to for you."

"Good luck!"

* * *

After jumping the small river and just before Iji made her way to the next area, she got a call from her phone and answered it.

"HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS! HOW DID I GET THIS NUMBER…? IT WAS EASY! I JUST DIALED EVERY NUMBER SEQUENTIALLY UNTIL I GOT YOURS! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Iji palmed herself in the face. "Sorry I forgot to give you mine after you gave yours."

"THAT'S ALL RIGHT! SO… WHAT ARE YOU WEARING…? I'M… ASKING FOR A FRIEND. SHE THOUGHT SHE SAW YOU WEARING A RIBBON. IS THAT TRUE? ARE YOU WEARING A RIBBON?"

"Does this friend's name happen to be Undyne?"

This seemed to catch him off guard. "UHH…UMM…"

"I heard you talking to her earlier. You can be honest with me. I wish to talk with her too. Just describe everything about me to her. I haven't changed clothes since you last saw me."

"GOT IT! WINK WINK! HAVE A NICE DAY!" And the call ended.

Shaking her head, she continued to the next area, which consisted of a dark-ish room lit by tiny glowing gems in the ceiling. There were also several Echo Flowers and a sign that says "Wishing Room".

She checked each flower, making sure to stay quiet so as not to overwrite the 'messages'.

"A long time ago, monsters would whisper their wishes to the stars in the sky. If you hoped with all your heart, your wish would come true. Now, all we have are these sparkling stones on the ceiling…"

"Thousands of people wishing together can't be wrong! The king will prove that."

Before she could check more, a monster walked up to her and Iji's SOUL started to glow. It appeared to be a living bathtub or washing machine with a round green head (and green turtle legs) bearing a blank expression, and a small bird sitting in its water-filled body. According to the compendium, this was a Woshua. Judging by his demeanor, he seemed to be a clean freak.

"Your SOUL is unclean," it said to her before launching a soap bar from its tub, which began to bounce around in the room, always trying to ricochet towards Iji. The soap also left a sparkling trail in its wake that disappeared after a while, and they proved to sting like antiseptic on an open wound. (3) Once it was gone, she asked for a cleanup, playing to his likes.

"Green means clean" it said before ejecting large white water drops in her direction. A few of them were green, and—remembering the Vegetoids—she moved over to these drops, and not only did they actually feel refreshing, any filth she had on her was gone. "Work is done" It then shuffled away from her, making its way to where she just came from, but not before launching a pouch of gold into her hands.

"Thanks!" she called at Woshua as he left before storing the gold with the rest of her money. She then got back to checking the Echo Flowers. Thankfully, neither she nor Woshua were close to any of them during their fight.

"C'mon, sis! Make a wish!"

"I wish my sister and I will see the real stars someday."

_The hopes and dreams of the monsters are recorded in these flowers. It's time they rejoined us, and rebuild our world. Together._

"Ah… seems my horoscope is the same as last week's…"

After checking that last flower, Iji backed up a bit and looked to her left. There was a dead end there. but she was certain there was more to it than that. To her right was a telescope. She decided to check the telescope first. It pointed to the gems in the ceiling. She looked around, hoping to find some clue as to how to proceed further. Just as she looked at a large cluster of gems, she saw that the lens had the following written.

↑ CHECK WALL

Pulling away from the telescope, Iji checked the dead end from earlier. Approaching it, she wondered if she'll have to use up a rocket to blast it open. Reaching the wall, she was about to touch it and warn anybody behind it to get out of the way when a hidden door in it opened up. _Well, that solves that._

* * *

The next area was a room with a wooden bridge and dark water in which many water sausages (a.k.a. cattails) grew. On the north wall were many ancient glyphs. At the end of the wooden dock was a raft small enough for her to stand on, but large enough for her not to lose balance and fall into the water.

Iji first approached the glyphs and read them.

"The War of Humans and Monsters." Why did the humans attack? Indeed, it seemed that they had nothing to fear. Humans are unbelievably strong. It would take the SOUL of nearly every monster just to equal the power of a single human SOUL. But humans have one weakness. Ironically, it is the strength of their SOUL. Its power allowed it to persist outside the human body, even after death. If a monster defeats a human, they can take its SOUL. A monster with a human soul... A horrible beast with unfathomable power.

_Remember. This is just their side of the story._ Iji reminded herself not to take this at face value before she could add this to her empathy on the monsters. _Why exactly did humans and monsters fight in the first place? And why is that legend so little-known? Hmm…I wonder how long a human SOUL can persist after death?_

The last glyph was an illustration of a strange creature. Despite facing Komato Annihilators and Tor, something in the drawing managed to unsettle her. Continuing on, Iji decided to board the raft, which seemed to move automatically as soon as she set both feet on it. Aware of a possible attack, Iji took out her Nanogun and made sure it was on Resonance Reflector Mode. She was approaching another wooden bridge, and prepared to drop herself off there. Once the raft made contact, she stepped off and continued walking.

* * *

For some reason she cannot fathom, the current area was dark in that the only light Iji could sense was right behind her. She continued walking for a couple of seconds when suddenly—WHAM!—a blue spear of energy landed right in front of her. Seeing where it came from, Iji turned to the left.

Amidst a long hallway of giant stone pillars, something emerged from the shadows.

"You must be Undyne," the human greeted. While she held no illusion that this might end up like when she tried talking to Krotera, Sentinel Proxima, and Tor—that is, the person she's talking to would prefer to fight regardless—she had to try anyway. "My name's Iji, and I'd like to talk with you." As she was saying that, more spears emerged in the air just above the guard, and just as she finished, the spears went flying right at her direction.

Hoping it would work, Iji pulled the trigger. A yellow force field pulsed around her, catching the spears…and sending them in the opposite direction they went, right above Undyne's spot. (4) It surprised Iji that it even worked at all, but she sort of expected the spears not to go straight to Undyne herself; the reason her Nanoweapons can reflect straight back is because the Reflector also reprograms the projectiles, which also explains why the strength of it is determined by her Attack upgrades.

"If you would just let me speak…" Iji tried again, but Undyne already had another volley of spears ready. Because of the Resonance Reflector's slow recharge time, she ducked this volley, and then she jumped straight to Undyne's location. (5) Returning her Nanogun to its holster, she then made to grab Undyne by the wrists. The captain pulled away before bringing her head forward to headbutt the human.

Both skulls collided, but the armors protecting both of them prevented any grievous harm for either. Iji had been slightly worried there; melee damage on Komato and Tasen was usually thanks to everybody's Nanofields violently reacting to each other. Looks like she's impervious to melee damage after all.

Undyne reeled back and prepared to throw a punch, but Iji caught the fist, then turned into a grip on the wrist. The captain then summoned a spear in her other hand and thrust it onto the human, but her target parried it with **her** other hand, her SOUL blinking as she took damage from contact, though less so than if the pointy end had hit, and then she slid her hand across the shaft to grab Undyne's other wrist.

"Can we please stop fighting for just a minute and talk?!" Iji shouted as she grappled with the taller-than-her-by-more-than-a-foot monster. Undyne didn't answer and continued to try and overpower her, in which Iji turned the monster's force against her and threw her over her and into the ground. "I'm here to speak with the king. Aren't you supposed to take me to him?"

Undyne got back up and was ready to summon her spear before Iji was onto her and landed her foot, delivering a kick straight into the body armor that sending her flying straight into the lake, but the captain managed to hurl her spear straight for Iji, grazing her side and doing quite a bit of HP damage. Taking this moment of reprieve, bearing through the pain, Iji started running; she can't waste time throwing down with Undyne. She's headed to King Asgore, with or without Undyne taking her there.

Jumping back to the dock and running along it, Iji can already hear Undyne presumably leap out of the water, and then sprinting straight for her. She was pretty fast despite her armor, but Iji's cyborg enhancements meant the captain can't catch up as fast as she wanted to.

After a while, Iji reached a patch of grass like the one she passed upon first seeing Undyne. It looked tall enough for her to hide in…if she lay down, and so she dove in, took out her Nanogun, then turned to lay on her back and had her weapon ready in case Undyne were to follow her in, which she expected her to do.

Except Undyne stopped just short of touching the grass…before heading in anyway. She heard the captain lumber in, stopping just inches from Iji's current position. Undyne raised an arm, and then thrust down to grab…not Iji, who had to resist the urge to fire, as she realized it was somebody else who was grabbed. Undyne's hand pulled its catch from the grass.

It was that armless monster kid! But what was he doing in the grass?

in any case, Undyne dropped them and went the other way, seemingly giving up the chase for now. Iji decided to wait for two minutes just in case before peeking out of the grass to make sure that Undyne was really gone. once she confirmed that, she stood up and made her way out of the grass in the opposite direction. As she glimpsed a short dock to her right as she passed, she heard a rustle from the grass and saw the monster kid rush out, looking not at all the worse for wear and very excited.

"Yo… did you see that!?" they said. "Undyne just…TOUCHED ME! I'm never washing my face ever again…! Man, are you unlucky. If you were standing just a LITTLE bit to the left...! Yo, don't worry! I'm sure we'll see her again!"

Before Iji could get a word in edgewise, the monster kid was already running off, but not before falling onto his face for a bit, which he was very quick to get up from. Also, because of the damage her HP endured, she decided to take out the Bisicle and consume it, one pop at a time. They tasted…sweet, no salt in them (6), or any other flavor, not even vanilla for that matter.

* * *

The next area was comprised of a small room containing cheese inside purple crystal (and stuck to the table it's on), a mouse hole, and an Echo Flower that has recorded a mouse squeak.

She bypassed that to enter the next area. Ahead was a storage box, as well as Sans with a telescope. She approached him first, and he greeted, "i'm thinking about getting into the telescope business, it's normally 50000G to use this premium telescope, but…since i know you, you can use it for free. howzabout it?"

Seeing as it was free, Iji decided it couldn't hurt. Maybe it was pointed to something special. Before putting her eye into the viewing lens, she rubbed it with her thumb…and found it was smeared in red paint. She immediately gave an accusatory look at Sans before wiping it clean, wiping the other lens because she wouldn't put it past him to do that too, and then looked through the telescope.

Aside from showing a pretty good view, there was nothing of interest in sight. She went to the box, noticed an entry way just ahead and to the left, and took it. It led to a medium-length hallway that took her to a small room with a box, vandalized glyphs, glowing mushrooms, and…the Nice Cream monster.

Remembering the damage her HP had endured during her tussle with Undyne (and Aaron and Woshua), she decided to eat the Nice Cream in her phone. Opening the wrapper, she took a bite, and felt her energy return. She also saw an illustration of a hug in the wrapper.

After finishing the Nice Cream and pocketing the trash to properly dispose of later, she was greeted by the vendor.

"I relocated my store, but there are still no customers," he said. "Fortunately, I've thought of a solution! Punch cards! Every time you buy a Nice Cream, you can take a punch card from the box. If you have 3 cards, you can trade them for a free Nice Cream! They're sure to get the customers to come back!"

"That's one step, sir," she replied. "Another is to set up a sign that will lead customers to your location. I didn't even know you were here; I was just exploring the place. Three Nice Creams, please."

After purchasing the food items (and noticing the price difference from Snowdin Forest, she went over to the box, and saw two bugs playing a card game. Upon showing the Nice Cream bars she purchased, they gestured to three cue cards with punch holes in them. Iji picked them up, and looked at them, reading what was written on it.

please… please come back…

_Wow. he sure sounds pitiful. I don't want to see him go out of business._ She then returned to the Nice Cream vendor, and surrendered the "punch cards", getting a "Hey! You have 3 Punch Cards! How about redeeming them for some Nice Cream!? It's free!" as well as a fourth Nice Cream from him.

"I actually like your Nice Cream, but I think you could use a little more help."

The vendor blushed a bit. "Wow. I have such a dedicated customer."

"If you follow my advice, you could have more."

* * *

After giving more commerce tips to the vendor (like asking about other areas in the Underground), she continued on, turning to the left to see a white drop-shaped monster with legs.

"What's a star? Can you touch it? Can you eat it? Can you kill it? ... Are you a star?"

Disturbed by its questions, she deigned not to answer it and went onward, finding herself on one end of a chasm of bright blue water. On the other side is a small yellow bird. While Iji can jump across easily, she noted the area to her right as she made her way here. She's always one for exploring every nook and cranny she could find, even back at the D.C.M.F.P.R. Research Facility, with its vents large enough for even one as tall as her to walk in upright, so she turned back and headed to the bridge leading deeper into Waterfall.

The next area was full of glowing rivers, pathways, and bridges. After taking a left turn and across a bridge, Iji came across an Echo Flower. She approached it to hear that it had picked up a passing conversation.

"So? Don't you have any wishes to make?"

Another Echo Flower ahead seems to pick up the next bit.

"...hmm, just one, but... It's kind of stupid."

Before she could proceed anywhere else, she encountered two Moldsmals. She knew what tp do to Spare them and get some Gold and did so. As she explored the area, she also found one small patch of tall grass with four patches of glowing mushrooms. Iji decided to check if there's anything in there, judging the layout as suspicious, and found a pair of ballet shoes, another reminder of the human (children) before her that fell here.

Storing it in her satchel, she continued traveling when she received a call.

"HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS! REMEMBER WHEN I ASKED YOU ABOUT CLOTHES?"

"Uh-huh."

"WELL, THE FRIEND WHO WANTED TO KNOW… HER OPINION OF YOU IS VERY… MURDERY."

"You don't say," Iji's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "And no need to hide that it was Undyne. I already met her."

"UMM…"

"Don't worry. I'll be fine. I made friends with you, and I hope to make friends with her too. Or at least get her not to kill me."

"PERHAPS I SHOULD MAKE MY WAY OVER TO YOUR LOCATION, AND HELP YOU CONVINCE UNDYNE NOT TO TAKE YOU AWAY."

"No. I don't want you to lose any favor with her. This is between the two of us. Please have faith in me."

"OOOKAY." Papyrus wasn't too sure.

"Is there anything you know about Undyne's combat skills? It can help me stop her. Without killing her, of course."

"I DON'T KNOW. I FEEL LIKE BETRAYING HER IF I DO THAT. I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE."

"I understand. Please don't involve yourself. I promise me and Undyne will make it through alive."

"…ALL RIGHT, IJI. I'LL TRUST YOU."

"Thank you. Bye."

"BYE!"

And with that, she ended the call. _What am I doing, making that promise? Wow. Papyrus is really getting to me. Why do I feel like it's somehow wrong to hurt his feelings?_ She shook her head. _Well, a promise is a promise. Now I'll have to find some way to make Undyne see reason, but how?_

Her thought process was interrupted when she ran into a Woshua and Aaron. The sparing process was the same for the two of them, though she noted that Woshua seemed to have no issues with Aaron's sweat attacks, given his mysophobia. She came out of the battle 55 Gold richer.

As Iji continued, she encountered another Echo Flower ("Don't say that! Come on, I promise I won't laugh."), as well as a small corridor to the next area, which also has glyphs to read on the right side ("The power to take their SOULs. This is the power that the humans feared.").

Phone Inventory:

Canteen, Spider Donut, Cinnamon Bunny, Nice Cream, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Spaghetti, Abandoned Quiche, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, [Empty]

* * *

The first thing Iji noticed was that the area was mostly water, with only a small patch of land that made a sharp 90 degree turn to the right. As she walked the path, she heard the sound of something surfacing from the water. It was a chiffon yellow…tentacle? She took out her Nanogun just in case, and just as she walked little more, another tentacle surfaced from the other side of the path. The tentacles followed her as she walked before suddenly deciding to submerge once more, And then something large began to surface from her left.

From the looks of it, the tentacles belonged to this monster, whose body resembled an onion and whose face looked like it came straight from an animé. They also looked extremely happy. "Hey… there… noticed you were… here… I'm Onionsan! Onionsan, y'hear!"

She couldn't help but answer in the same disposition. "Nice to meet you Onionsan. I'm Iji."

"You're visiting Waterfall, huh!" Onionsan said as the two traversed the area together.

"Just passing through."

"It's great here, huh!"

"I guess…"

"You love it, huh!"

"Uhh…" Memories of her recent tussle with Undyne flash in her mind.

"Yeah! Me too! It's my Big Favorite." Onionsan then sunk their face into the water, prompting Iji to stop a bit. "Even though, the water's getting so shallow here… I, have to sit down all the time, but… He-hey! That's OK! It beats moving to the city! And living in a crowded aquarium! Like all my friends did!"

This struck Iji a bit as the two continued on. To be cramped underneath a mountain for so long can have debilitating effects even on a society. And she couldn't think of anything to say to the water-dwelling monster; they seemed to just want someone to let out their thoughts to.

"And the aquarium's full, a-anyway, so, even if I wanted to, I… At least I wasn't there when it was attacks. I think a lot of my friends died that day."

Iji felt a pang in her heart. More proof that the aliens have attacked the Underground.

Onionsan changed their mood immediately. "That's okay, though, y-hear! Undyne's gonna fix everything, y'hear! I'm gonna get out of here and live in the ocean! Y'hear!"

_Wow. So much faith in Undyne. I wonder how many aliens she slew._

Before long, Iji could see the entrance to the next area. Onionsan could see it too as they reaised a tentacle. "Hey… there… That's the end of this room."

"Yeah. I guess this is where I part ways. See you around, Onionsan."

"Yeah. I'll see you around! Have a good time!" They then began to sink slowly into the water as they said, "In Waterfalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll"

* * *

The next area was a small room with two waterfalls flowing in the distance to the right. There was a hole in the middle, two pathways leading forward and left respectively, and glyphs on the path to the latter.

As Iji continued onward, her SOUL began to glow. Knowing a monster has encountered her, she looked around, and found someone in the corner.

At first glance, she looked like some sort of mermaid-styled monster, but in reality the "head" and "body" were two separate beings. According to the compendium, the "head" was Shyren (and was a tiny green fish with blue hair and and angler fish lure), and the "body" was her talent agent (a larger fish with thick lips). According to the UnderNet, there were actually more like her in the city, all with their own agents, but the one right here in Waterfall is reported to be in a slump as of late.

Iji could easily leave her be, but after interacting with several other monsters before, she decided helping Shyren out would be a good idea. The Phone suggested Smile, Hum, and Conduct. Iji decided to hum a melancholic tune she used to sing to Mia to sleep.

Shyren began to follow her tune, turning to face her as she did, and inadvertently sent note-shaped attacks in Iji's direction, which she successfully dodged. With these mentalities, in the inevitable negotiation terms with Asgore, a lot of rules and restrictions will have to be mandated in order not to spark another war between them and humans (and Tasen).

She decided to continue humming, and Shyren followed suit. All of a sudden, other monsters were drawn into the area; it's become a concert, and Iji could swear she saw Sans selling tickets made of toilet paper. Which doesn't make sense since monsters don't defecate.

After some more humming the crowd begun tossing clothing. Socks, to be specific. By then, Iji was on a roll, and so was Shyren, as they continued their tune. For some reason, thoughts of tours and groupies came to her mind (7).

Before long, the song was coming to a close and Iji let Shyren know that as she hummed the coda to the tune. And then came the applause, the farewells, and then the area was empty once more, even of socks.

 _Whoa. What just happened there?_ Iji wondered as she realized what she had just done with Shyren. _I should hurry to Asgore._

Putting the entire incident behind her, she approached the glyphs and read them.

The northern room hides a great treasure.

Suddenly interested in that, Iji proceeded there, and saw a dead end with a sign with glyphs on one side and a piano on the other side. Above the piano are a circle, four arrow keys, and a X - QUIT. She checked the sign first.

A haunting song echoes down the corridor… won't you play along? Only the first 8 are fine.

Turning to the piano, Iji thought, _So the solution to this puzzle is to play a specific tune. Judging by the sign, further ahead is a hint to how I should solve this._

Exiting the northern room, Iji continued to the other corridor, where she found two more signs. They read as follows:

This power has no counter. Indeed, a human cannot take a monster's SOUL. When a monster dies, its SOUL disappears. And an incredible power would be needed to take the SOUL of a living monster.

There is only one exception. The SOUL of a special species of monster called a "Boss Monster." A Boss Monster's SOUL is strong enough to persist after death, if only for a few moments. A human could absorb this SOUL. But this has never happened. And now it never will.

_Well that's oddly specific._ _And now it never will_ _. This implies they once had a chance. Now I'm wondering what Tasen and Komato SOULs look like._

Proceeding onward, Iji encountered a statue of a horned figure beneath a spotlight, water dripping from above onto its head. She took note of that as she continued.

The next room bore a sign saying Please take one. and a bucket of closed-up umbrellas. Iji decided to follow the sign, taking a red one. Remembering the statue from earlier, she decided to go back there, and place the umbrella on the statue to cover it. And then music began to play from the statue.

… _Oh!_

Immediately returning to the northern room, after committing the music to memory, Iji began to play the notes she recalled. True to the sign's word, after the eighth note, a secret passage opened, and she entered it.

In front of her was a red spherical object on a pedestal with glyphs behind it. It looked like it was being played off as a legendary artifact, and she thought it was too until she got a closer look and saw it was just an ordinary red rubber ball for dogs to play with.

Iji thought it wouldn't be bad to take it, but for some reason, she keeps getting the notion that she's carrying too many dogs, and it somehow overrides her desire to get the ball. (8)

Irritated by the urge, Iji took out her phone and accessed her inventory. And among the bubbles that contained her items, she found a white dog similar to the one that messed with Papyrus twice, if it wasn't the same thing. It looked like it was sleeping.

 _How the hell did this pooch get here?_ Iji thought. Suddenly, the dog awoke, pounced out of her inventory like it was nothing, and jumped into the ball, somehow absorbing it into its fur, and then floating right into a wall and phasing through it. _Okay…that's the weirdest thing I've seen today._ Iji then checked her inventory once more and saw what looked like a dog-shaped empty husk of fur.

Phone Inventory:

Canteen, Spider Donut, Nice Cream, Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Residue, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

"How do I use this?"

As if in response, three other items appeared out of nowhere inside her inventory; a few glowing crystal shards fused together, an unfinished jigsaw puzzle, and what looked like salad with a tennis ball in it. They were identified as Dog Residue, except for the salad, which was identified as Dog Salad. The Phone was convenient in that it gave names for every item in the inventory, and allowed her to name items it didn't know, like the canteen currently inside.

"What? Now what do I do with these?"

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere, in an unknown location…

"fhsdhjfdsfjsddshjfsd"

The monster in front of Ansaksie resembled a species in Origin called cats, with Origin dog ears on the side of their head as well as their "normal" cat ears, shoulder-length black hair, and a blue t-shirt. She (if voice was any indication) was also slightly larger than its surface counterparts.

"Such strange mannerisms," the Komato wondered to herself. "I haven't seen something like you bef—" She was cut off by a device embedded in her left arm part of her suit. She checked it. "Oh. My scanner is picking up that you're a race found underneath the surface of Origin, subspecies Temmie."

It seems that while the monsters' UnderNet were unable to reach beyond the Barrier's expanse (which she heard from Toriel), Komato transmissions could, which explains how she got this info. As for why Tor's fleet didn't do anything about the lost Troopers and Berserkers they sent down here, like send Annihilators or Assassins, that was because the General in charge of the area Mt. Ebott was in was uncharacteristically conservative for a Komato when it comes to his troops, and figured the Alpha Strike will just wipe them out all the same. And even if the Barrier somehow managed to protect against _that_ , the rest of the planet would've been doomed from acid rain and other side effects of the Alpha Strike.

Ansaksie quickly set those thoughts aside; she wasn't part of the Komato Empire anymore. She turned her attention back to the Temmie. "Heheh, you're pretty cute, though you vibrate a lot."

"hOI! i'm tEMMIE!"

* * *

After deciding to toss out all the Dog Residues except the "prime" one, Iji returned to the umbrella bucket, picked up another umbrella, a green one this time, and continued onward, and opened it just as she entered the next room, which was a waterlogged corridor that had many waterfalls and reflective pools within it.

As she continued to traverse it, she found an alcove to her left, and in it was the monster kid.

"Yo, you got an umbrella?" they asked.

"Um, yeah," she replied.

"Awesome! Let's go!" And with that, the kid trailed right behind Iji, staying under the umbrella's area of protection.

The corridor was relatively long, so they began talking. "Say, I never got your name. Mine's Iji."

"My friends call me Kid. (9) So do my parents."

"Oh. So tell me, are you a boy? Or are you a girl?"

"Boy, Why'd you ask?"

"Well, I didn't want to assume what your gender was. If you had been a girl and I was assuming you were a boy, that would be awkward for both of us, don't you think?"

"Yeah, that's true."

The two striped-shirt wearers reached a right turn, where the left wall kept going in its original direction, leaving what was in front of her open.

Just as they got there, Kid then said, "Man, Undyne is sooooooo cool. She beats up bad guys and NEVER loses. If I was a human, I would wet the bed every night, knowing she was gonna beat me up! Ha ha."

"Aheh, heh, heh, heh." Iji laughed nervously, remembering her previous encounter with the Royal Guard.

The two continued walking, and Iji noticed the cattails growing on the left, as well as a patch of ground with an Echo Flower. Kid stopped for a moment to look at it, then faced Iji once more to say, "So, one time. We had a school project where we had to take care of a flower. The king - we had to call him 'Mr. Dreemurr' - volunteered to donate his own flowers. He ended up coming to school and teaching the class about responsibility and stuff. That got me thinking. YO! How COOL would it be if UNDYNE came to school!? She could beat up ALL the teachers!"

Iji felt she had to nip this notion in the bud. "That's not a very nice thing to say, Kid."

"Yeah, you're right." Kid replied as he caught up with her. "Maybe she wouldn't beat up the teachers. She's too cool to ever hurt an innocent person!"

The unusual duo managed to make it out of the cavern system and into a very long straight path. In the distance, she could see that the ceiling was very high, and was littered with glowing crystals that substituted for stars. Patches of them were gone, probably from the earthquake that shook the Underground as a result of the Tasen Alpha Strike. There was also a castle far to their left with blue roofs on its towers.

Kid ran ahead for a bit to look at the castle before Iji caught up with him and they resumed walking after that. Before long, the two reached another bucket of umbrellas as well as a ledge ahead. It was too tall for Kid, but Iji has leaped onto much taller ones before.

"Yo, this ledge is way too steep…" Kid commented as they reached the ledge.

"That's nothing," Iji couldn't help but boast as she opened her Phone's inventory, stored the Umbrella inside it (10), picked up Kid ("Whoa! What are you—") and leaped onto the higher ground before gently putting him down again.

"That! Was! Awesome!" cried out Kid. "I bet you could impress Undyne with that and join the Royal Guard! I'm going on ahead and tell her about you!"

"I don't think that's a good—" But he was already off, and for once he didn't trip and fall onto his face. Iji immediately pursued him, catching up quickly just before he could bypass the glyphs to his left, grabbing him by the head and keeping him in place. "—idea."

"Why not?" Kid asked as he turned to the tall female after she let go.

"I…" She couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. "…kinda peeved her one time and she said that if I ever showed my face around her again, she'd beat me up."

"What **did** you do that can make Undyne so angry?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, if that's all right."

"Okay."

Iji then looked at the glyphs and read them before continuing on.

The humans, afraid of our power, declared war on us. They attacked suddenly, and without mercy.

In the end, it could hardly be called a war. United, the humans were too powerful, and us monsters, too weak. Not a single SOUL was taken, and countless monsters were turned to dust...

 _More bias. But just how long ago was this war?_ Iji wondered before she and Kid continued forward to a network of wooden bridges that seemed to bend every which way. There also seemed to be a bridge right below them.

After twenty seconds of walking, a light blue circle appeared in the middle of their path.

"Uh-oh."

"What's wrong, Iji?"

Two more circles appeared right behind them.

"She's found me."

"Who?"

Several more appeared around them.

"It's Undyne."

"How'd you kno—"

Kid was cut off when spears emerged from the circles before both disappearing.

"We gotta go!" Iji picked up kid and placed him around her arms as she began to run along the bridge as more circles appeared on it and spears emerged from them.

"She seems really, really mad at you, it's almost like that one time she fought that one bad green weirdo. He practically exploded after she killed him. So awesome!"

Seems that Kid had witnessed Undyne kill a Komato Berserker when they invaded the Underground. "Now I really need to know! What did you do that's riled her up this bad?"

"I really, really don't want to talk about it right now!" Iji replied as she strafed spear attacks as she traversed the bridge. "Too busy trying not to get killed here!"

"Undyne doesn't hurt innocents. Maybe I can convince her to stop and listen."

"I don't really think so. Maybe it's better if you get away from me so you won't get caught in her attacks."

"Now i'm really worried." For the first time, Kid showed an expression other than 'fanboying'. "You look like a really friendly person, so I don't understand why Undyne would want you beat up."

"It's for your own good." Iji brought Kid to her face as they made it to a large square area. "Just get out of here for a bit. I'm sure we'll meet again later."

"Wait, wha—" The little monster was tossed away from her and the attacking spears, and then, no longer having to carry Kid, Iji began to run faster, soon leaving his field of vision.

* * *

Under a minute later, Iji found herself running out of bridge to run. As she reached the edge, she looked down to see what was below her, and found that it was a long drop leading to a mildly flooded area with a small patch of flowers, and piles of garbage. Not willing to go there just yet, Iji backtracked, only to find Undyne blocking the way. Not even drawing out her Nanogun, she raised her hands in surrender.

"All right, Undyne. You caught me. Now can you please take me to the king? I really need to talk to him."

Undyne said nothing as she summoned three spears in the air, and then brought them down…through the bridge between them.

Feeling it start to lose stability, Iji immediately jumped up to the other side, only for Undyne to jump as well to intercept her. The captain landed both of her legs onto Iji's stomach, and then pushed her down and out of the bridge's safety while landing herself back onto the bridge.

Like any other ordinary person would in this situation, Iji yelled all the way down before landing in the area below. Normally, this distance would be nothing, but Iji landed those drops on her feet, the Nanofield best cushioning the fall impact there. In this instance, she landed headfirst. Thankfully, her Nanofield prevented this from being lethal, but she still fell unconscious from the impact.

* * *

In the realm of her unconscious mind, Iji was seething at Undyne's stubborn unwillingness to negotiate. It reminded her of Krotera, Asha, and Iosa. But the monsters seemed to look up to Undyne and have positive things to say about her, so she should be more reasonable than those three.

Just then, she heard voices she was certain wasn't from her memories.

_"It sounds like it came from over there…"_

It was a young male voice.

_"Oh! You've fallen down, haven't you?"_

_"Are you okay?"_

_"Here, get up…"_

_"Chara, huh?"_

Chara? Iji knew of nobody by that name. What was going on here?

_"That's a nice name."_

_"My name is—"_

* * *

Before she could find out more, Iji immediately awoke, finding herself on a bed of flowers, just like when she first entered the Underground. Immediately getting up, she found herself in the garbage dump she saw earlier. To her left was a waterfall that flowed from the ceiling of the cavern? Just how deep was she underground? Mt. Ebott wasn't that big.

Looking around, she saw that the flower patch was on some fallen wooden planks. And the water wasn't deep at all around here. Stepping in, Iji proceeded forward, bypassing the piles of garbage, which had brands she recognized.

The next area has two more piles, and it made her feel a little filthy, with the occasional piece flowing through and into the bottomless abyss to her right, where the water continued falling.

Thankfully, her satchel was waterproof and had spare clothes. And then she chided herself for not asking either Toriel or Papyrus if they had a washing machine so she could wash her clothes. Looks like she might have to switch to her third set. Thankfully, the Nanofield also seems to block liquids unless she presses against her body with intent to rub, allowing for bathing and showering to still work in cleaning her up.

The area after that was an enclosed tunnel that contained more garbage. Seeing a few items of interest, she considered salvaging a couple of items. As she explored the area, she saw a rusted bike, an empty beat-up desktop computer, a fresh-looking cooler with a couple of freeze-dried space food bars (which she decided to leave be), a DVD Case for the animé _Gundam Reconguista In G_ with claw marks on it, and a dummy just like the one in the Ruins. She went back to the other piles and found other tidbits. She took out a garbage bag from her satchel to put those stuff in before returning it to the satchel. (11)

After checking the garbage dump, Iji faced the dummy. Remembering Napstablook, she had to assume there might be a ghost inhabiting this Dummy. Come to think of it, maybe there was a ghost inside the other Dummy as well. Wanting to be considerate, she decided to speak to it.

"If there is any ghost inside this dummy, either evacuate this vessel or make yourself known to me. I am about to kick this dummy on the count of five." No response. "Four. Three. Two. One."

And then the dummy came to life, its 'eyes' opening and its body turning red in fury as it began to levitate. "GYAAARGH!" it responded as Iji backed away a step. "You wanna Fight, you got one! For my cousin which you scared off of their dummy with your words!"

And then her SOUL began to glow; this mad Dummy is really asking for one. "Quick question: if you're a ghost, then that means destroying your vessel won't kill you, right?" she asked.

"Yeah, why?"

Iji replied by blowing it apart with her Nanogun's Shotgun option. However, it seemed to be able to hold its pieces together instead of becoming splinters or something.

"Foolish. Foolish! FOOLISH!" taunted the ghost-possessed dummy. "Even if you attack my vessel, you'll NEVER hurt me! I'm still incorporeal, you DUMMY!" It then muttered to itself, as it pulled itself together. "Wait, is DUMMY a compliment...?"

_Okay. Shotgun's not working. Could use the Velocithor or something to vaporize it, but I can't risk killing any monsters here._

"Pitiful. Pitiful! PITIFUL!" Mini-dummies out of magic spawned from the water and began launching fluff-shaped attacks straight at her. She evaded these attacks, and then she noticed one wave went straight for what her Phone would identify her as the Mad Dummy, and they flinched from these attacks as a result.

"OWWWW, you DUMMIES! Watch where you're aiming your MAGIC attacks!" It then looked nervous as it realized who heard it. "... Hey! You! Forget I said anything about MAGIC!"

A smirk then appeared in Iji's face. Looks like this guy's attacks can be directed back to it, meaning it can end up killing itself. But surely it'll know to flee before then. She'll have to remind it of that so it won't have to throw its existence away.

"Nope," she replied. "We're gonna keep at this until you give up."

"RRRRAAGH! I'll defeat you and take your SOUL!" The Mad Dummy continued ordering his dummies to attack.

Each time, thanks to experience in directing attacks towards enemies (though in those cases, she had to tank the hits in order to hit them), Iji directed their fluff attacks to it, inflicting more damage.

"I'll use your soul to cross the barrier!" it said as it began to do an armless ska dance and move around, making directing its attacks difficult.

 _So one_ can _cross the barrier with one human SOUL._ Iji kept that in mind as she dodged more mini-dummy attacks as they hit their owner.

"I'll stand in the window of a fancy store!"

"If there are any left," the human couldn't help but snark, the first time she tried making humor out of the ruined world she now lived in.

"THEN EVERYTHING I WANT WILL BE MINE!"

Another volley, another self-fire barrage. They were also heralded by dummies that flashed red and flew in a straight line, making redirecting attacks difficult.

"Huh? Yeah, I guess then I'll avenge my cousin."

The same song and dance. And more damage to the Dummy. And some to Iji as well.

"What was their name again...?"

"…What you can't remember who you're 'avenging'?" she replied. She still had enough HP left.

"Whatever. Whatever! WHATEVER!" After another round of dummy attacks, the Mad Dummy seemed to realize his folly. "HEY GUYS!" The mini-dummies resurfaced all around the area. "Remember how I said NOT to shoot at me? Well... FAILURES! YOU'RE FIRED! YOU'RE ALL BEING REPLACED!" The mini-dummies then sank into the water once more, and Iji could swear she saw their faces express disappointment. "Hahaha. Hahaha! HAHAHA! Now you'll see my true power: Relying on people that aren't garbage!"

Mechanical whirrs began to fill the room, and Iji prepared herself for whatever smarter attacks might be coming her way, switching her Nanogun to Resonance Reflector mod.

"DUMMY BOTS! MAGIC MISSILE!"

Five robotic versions of the mini-dummies surfaced from behind her and launched homing missile projectiles that zeroed in on Iji. Knowing what to do, she went straight for the Mad Dummy, moved around it, and let the missiles hit it while trying to reach her. She also saw that the red circles in the missiles shrank as they homed in on their target.

"DUMMY BOTS! TRY AGAIN!"

Nine dummy bots appeared from all sides, and Iji did the same maneuver as before, but she noticed that when the red circles in the missiles disappeared, they lose their homing capability. As such, she didn't get to have all the missiles hit the Mad Dummy, especially since it began to wise up to her tactics.

"DUMMY BOTS! You're awful?"

The next wave came in four, then five, then four again, then five again. Iji had to take a few hits in order to maximize the number of missiles that hit the Mad Dummy. She took the time to eat a Nice Cream (Love yourself! I love you!) in case of any stronger attacks.

"DUMMY BOTS! FINAL ATTACK!"

Instead of starting with dummy bots, more red dummies appeared on the walls and threw themselves to the side opposite them, leaving Iji with very little room to maneuver as dummy bots snuck in attacks in hopes of landing a hit. After a while of this, a multitude of dummy bots spawned and launched their missiles, but by that point, Iji has approached the Mad Dummy, grabbed on to it, and used it as a shield against the missiles, even as the ghost made its vessels parts move so erratically.

Tired of this whole thing, Iji told the Mad Dummy, "Call off the attack! There's no need for you to die here!"

"N… no way! These guys are even WORSE than the other guys!" it whispered to itself, then yelled, "Who cares. Who cares! WHO CARES! I DON'T NEED FRIENDS! I'VE GOT KNIVES!" From its body, perhaps a hidden cavity, came a solid-looking knife (as in not a magic-based attack), which was somehow floating perhaps thanks to magic. It then tried to drive that knife into Iji, only for it to harmlessly bounce off her Nanofield and fall into the water. "I'm… out of knives. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! YOU CAN'T HURT ME AND I CAN'T HURT YOU! YOU'LL BE STUCK FIGHTING ME… Forever. Forever! FOREVER!"

The Mad Dummy began to laugh out very loud as its parts flew in crazy motions. Throughout her Fights against the monsters, not once had Iji needed to flee. If there was some method stronger monsters that that prevented her from just walking away, it seems that she'll have to carry the Mad Dummy around.

Thankfully, that issue didn't need to be answered, as teardrops made of magic began to rain down on the two of them, doing HP damage to both of them.

"Wh… What the heck is this!? Ergh! Acid rain!? Oh, FORGET IT! I'm outta here!" and the Mad Dummy wrested itself free from Iji's grip and down the path ahead of her.

And then, from above came a familiar face.

"Hi, Napstablook," Iji greeted.

"…sorry, I interrupted you, didn't I?"

She shook her head. "Not at all, actually."

"as soon as I came over, your friend immediately left... oh no... you guys looked like you were having fun..."

"Actually, I'm glad you came. He was after me in revenge for his cousin. Thanks for getting him to leave."

"oh… well… i'm going to head home now… oh... umm... feel free to "come with" if you want... but no pressure... i understand if you're busy... it's fine... no worries... just thought i'd offer..." He then floated down the same path. Iji immediately went and followed.

* * *

The next area consisted of a long lake with six paths (including the one she just took). Napstablook was in the center.

"hey... my house is up here..." he said. "in case you want to see... or in case... you don't..." The ghost then moved up the path straight ahead of Iji.

Before deciding to follow him, she decided to call Papyrus. When he picked up, she described her current surroundings as well as her position. It took an instant from him to figure it out.

"HEY! YOU'RE NEAR UNDYNE'S HOUSE! THAT'S TO THE LEFT-UPWARDS. LUPWARDS. ALL THE OTHER DIRECTIONS GO TO THE WRONG HOUSE. NORTH: GHOST HOUSE. EAST: TURTLE HOUSE. SOUTH: TRASH HOUSE. WEST: BIRD HOUSE."

"Ghost House" probably meant Napstablook's place, and "Trash House" meant the garbage dump she just left. That reminded her of something. "A bird? Is that bird yellow?"

"WHY YES! IF ASKED, IT WILL CARRY YOU ACROSS THE WATER!"

"How much weight can that bird carry. I saw it before, and it's rather small."

"WELL, FROM WHAT I REMEMBER, IT'S STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY UNDYNE WHEN SHE WAS A KID."

"That strong, huh? Even at its age, assuming Undyne ages as much as humans. I don't know any birds of that size capable of carrying anything bigger than it is."

"THE BIRD IS A TECHNICALLY A MONSTER JUST LIKE UNDYNE AND ME, SO PERHAPS THAT MIGHT EXPLAIN IT TO YOU."

"I see. What about the "Turtle House"?"

"THAT IS WHERE GERSON LIVES! HE SELLS STUFF JUST LIKE THE SHOPKEEPER IN SNOWDIN!"

"Thanks. I have to go now."

"TALK TO YOU AGAIN, IJI!"

With their call concluded, Iji hopped across the small lake and nearly made her way to Napstablook's house before deciding to check two other areas first.

The first place she checked was the bird, and she found out it was just the same place as where she met it the first time, only from the other side. She will not be needing its services anytime soon.

The second place she checked was Undyne's house, which appeared to be a massive angry fish with the door resembling the mouth, a fish-bone pattern welcome rug in front of it, and the windows resembling the eyes. To her left, there was a carpet with a fish-bone pattern, where the Mad Dummy is currently standing.

"What. What? WHAT!? It's a living." was all the Mad Dummy said, seemingly putting its revenge plot behind it.

After that, she decided to go to Napstablook's place, and found two houses side-by-side. One was blue, and the other pink. The latter was locked, and breaking in was rude, so she (after knocking to see if anyone was home) checked the other house, knocking as well.

"oh… come in…" Napstablook's voice can be barely heard from inside.

Interpreting it as an invitation, Iji stepped inside.

The inside of Napstablook's house consisted of a single room, and it looked worn-down, too. As she stepped in, she saw a fridge, a television, a computer just like with Papyrus, three CD cases with crude titles on them, and a spider web with a piece of paper.

"oh… you really came…" Napstablook turned from the computer to face her. "sorry, i... wasn't expecting that. it's not much, but make yourself at home." As his guest walked further inside, he then said, "uh, do you wanna… listen to some tunes… or something...", and then gestured to the CD cases with his eyes.  
Iji checked out the CDs, which read Ghouliday Music, Spooktunes, and Spookwave, which were played on Napstablook's computer upon requesting him to (currently, it has an internet browser opened to a music-sharing forum). They were all simplistic tunes that didn't seem to be at all that scary, but she feels that prolonged exposure will definitely have an unnerving effect. She told him he has potential to be a great musician, and he took the compliment with his usual enthusiasm.

She chose not to check the fridge, as much as she wanted to see what ghosts like him ate, and she didn't check the TV because her Undernet search showed that aside from a few others monsters, Mettaton was the only TV celebrity around.

"you know…" Napstablook began again. "after a great meal i like to lie on the ground and feel like garbage… it's a family tradition... do you want… … to join me…"

Despite sounding demeaning, Iji decided to humor him. Maybe he might give something good or earn his favor enough to be of help later on. Or maybe it's just a friendly gesture to the ghost. She shrugged her shoulders, then said, "All right."

"okay... follow my lead..." The two of them moved to the center of the room/house, and when the ghost did his equivalent of lying down, the human followed suit, after adjusting her holster so that it doesn't press against her back. "here we go… you'll lie down as long as you don't move. so... only move around when you want to get up, i guess."

Now that she was resting, Iji felt the fatigue crashing down on her, despite having 'rested' when Undyne knocked her all the way down to the garbage dump. That Mad Dummy sure gave her quite the dodging workout.

And then she saw it. Suddenly, the room began to fade from view and be replaced with a view of the entire cosmos. There were stars as far as the eye can see, and she can see a couple of galaxies, too. Not wishing for this to go away, she made sure to not move as much as possible, to marvel in this unforgettable sight. And then she remembered of life beyond the stars, of alien life, of the Komato Empire still out there. As well as her mission, and her hopes to establish peace between humans, Tasen, and monsters.

This relaxing feeling also had the side-effect of putting her into dreamland (in spite of her determination). Napstablook would wake up a few hours later, only to see her asleep, and would leave her be while he continued to compose music on his computer, checking on her every once in a while.

* * *

While Iji wouldn't call herself a lucid dreamer, she was currently finding herself in one, and she was sure she had been dreaming regularly prior to this. Well, her surroundings were more like a black landscape, but she knows she's feeling currently aware. And right in front of her was a human she's never seen before.

It was a child barely ten years old, stood at four feet seven inches, and their gender was indeterminable. They wore a lime and cream colored striped shirt, red-brown pants, and shoes. They also have fair skin, medium-length brown hair, and rosy cheeks. Their face looked solemn, and like they have gone through severe emotional trauma. She also had the weird illogical notion of an evil vibe coming from them.

"Curious…" a voice came from the child. They were speaking slowly, as if trying to make sure what they said was registered clearly. "You look like a kind soul, with a desire for peace. Yet, your recent past is filled with killing. **And** yet, you have killed no monster since coming here. So confusing. What do you really want?"

* * *

Iji awoke with a start after that and found herself back in Napstablook's house. The words that child said still rang in her mind. But how did they know this? She didn't even know them. What was happening? Who was that child? Why is she getting the feeling that they have some involvement with the monsters?

Either way, she can't think on that now. She still had to find a way to reach the king, break the Barrier, and negotiate peace between monsters and humans (and Tasen, given they've likely entered this mountain, too). Undyne was just one obstacle to this goal, and Iji held no illusion that she would be the last.  
Judging by the time on her watch, it was already morning of the next day. She then turned to face her host, who was still at his computer. Or maybe he left in the meantime only to be back here by the time she awoke. "Thanks for letting me sleep here, Napstablook."

The ghost turned to face her. "you looked like you were having so much fun feeling like garbage… i didn't want to ruin your fun. i'm sorrry I left. …oh, you were sleeping?"

She rubber her nape as she smiled sheepishly. "Yeah. I didn't think that that was actually going to feel great."

"thank you for joining me… uhhhh… i'm gonna keep working on that mix cd."

* * *

After leaving Napstablook's house (but not before asking for Ghouliday to be played), Iji took a left turn and encountered the "Blook Family Snail Farm", also run by Napstablook. There was also a betting game called Thundersnail there for 10 Gold, and she did a few races, only winning 9 Gold upon winning a race, which she chided the ghost over when she bet another 10 Gold, winning 30 Gold when her snail barely made it to second because Napstablook didn't want to disappoint the snail.

After that, she bid goodbye to the ghost and continued east, which would take her to Hotland. Like Papyrus said, there was a store nearby. And there was also one of those boxes for item management. After putting some stuff in there, she entered the store.

The shopkeeper, Gerson, was an elderly looking olive green tortoise-monster. He wore archeologist attire, bore a pointed beard, held a large magnifying glass, and his head was topped by a tan pith helmet. His teeth were crooked and yellow and his shell was a dark brown color with a pale cream rim. He also seemed to be unable to open his right eye.

His store seemed to be fairly plain compared to Snowdin's. It was just a small cave with stalagmites, stalactites, glowing crystals all over the wall, and the Delta Rune in black on the back.

"Woah there!" he greeted. "I've got some neat junk for sale."

His wares consisted of an apple that somehow resembled a crab, a cup of tea that was made from glowing marshwater (wait, where did she come to that conclusion?) (12) that also grants a speed boost in addition to healing HP, a child's pair of glasses that increase the "invulnerability period" that comes after taking a hit on the SOUL, and a torn notebook that does the same thing.

After buying one of each item, Iji asked if the last two needed to be worn or held on hand to 'use their effects', in which he replied "yes". These two were going to the satchel along with the others, the glasses going to the box for the time being until she can find a proper case. After seeing the glasses were too small for her to wear (and were highly graded), and checking the notebook's contents, she deduced these two items were also left behind by the human children that came here before her.

She then decided to talk with Gerson about stuff, starting with where she can sell stuff.

"Ha!" he scoffed. "I'm trying to get RID of my junk, not get more of it! Though, I've heard if you want to sell stuff, the Temmie Village is your best bet. Where is it? …I don't remember."

"I see. Anything you can tell me about yourself?"

"I've been around a long time. Maybe too long. Studying history sure is easy when you've lived through so much of it yourself! Wa ha ha!"

She noted the Delta Rune on the wall, and asked Gerson about its meaning.

"That emblem actually predates written history. The original meaning has been lost to time… All we know is that the triangles symbolize us monsters below, and the winged circle above symbolizes… Somethin' else. Most people say it's the 'angel,' from the prophecy… "

"The prophecy where the Angel frees the Monsters?"

"That's right! I'm glad to see someone who knows this."

"What do you know about King Asgore?" Iji asked next.

"King Fluffybuns? He's a friendly, happy-go-lucky kind of guy… If you keep walking around long enough, you'll probably meet him. He loves to walk around and talk to people."

"King 'Fluffybuns'? Why do you call him that?"

"Eh? Oh, that's a great story! …I don't remember it. But if you come back much later, I'm sure I'll have remembered by then."

"Okay." After promptly adding a reminder for that in her Logbook, she then asked about Undyne.

"Undyne? Yeah, she's a local hero around here. Through grit and determination alone, she fought her way to the top of the Royal Guard. Actually, she just came through here asking about someone who looked just like you… I'd watch your back. And buy some items… It might just save your hide! Wa ha ha!"

"I certainly will. Thank you, Gerson."

"Be careful out there."

After leaving Gerson's shop, Iji headed for the corridor its entrance faced, and found nothing except for a river. And judging by minute details she can't explain in words, it looks like a stopping point for a ferrying service that takes people across the river. She then left that area and continued back east, only to run into another Woshua and Aaron. But they weren't eager to attack like last time.

"…what the HECK is that music?" Woshua asked. Looks like Napstablook's tunes was reaching their ears.

"I-I DUNNO, DUDE BUT IT'S SPOOKIN ME OUT!" Aaron replied.

"…this is worse than Shyren."

"No way, Shyren is way less scary!"

"…if you're so scared, why do you keep winking?"

Indeed he was, despite his current mood.. "THESE ARE WINKS OF FEAR!"

"Forget it. This beat is too… …filthy." And the tub monster began to waddle away.

"Wosh! Wait! Don't leave me! Is this creepy music my punishment for being creepy? Please… stop… I'll never creep again Wahhhhh!" And the merhorse followed suit.

"…Okay." Iji said to herself before, after managing her inventory, continuing on.

Phone Inventory:

Canteen, Spider Donut, Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Residue, Dog Salad, Crab Apple, Sea Tea, [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Spaghetti, Cloudy Glasses, Abandoned Quiche, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, Nice Cream

* * *

The next area consisted of a long corridor that also had two waterfalls and several Echo Flowers out of reach. There were also glyphs, which she of course read.

Hurt, beaten, and fearful for our lives, we surrendered to the humans. Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us underground with a magic spell. Anything can enter through the seal, but only beings with a powerful SOUL can leave.

There is only one way to reverse this spell. If a huge power, equivalent to seven human SOULs, attacks the barrier… It will be destroyed.

But this cured place has no entrances or exits. There is no way a human could come here. We will remain trapped down here forever.

The next area lji entered was a very dark place, lit only by glowing mushrooms, strange 'trees' that also glowed, and a path of grass that also glowed. Seeing she cannot rely on the bio-luminescence, Iji took out a flare from her satchel and lit it. While the had a flashlight, she needed something brighter in this case.  
The flare's light revealed that the area not covered by grass were bordered by short ropes half the height of a child to prevent falling into the black water surrounding the rest of the place.

Unfortunately, the flare has also caught the attention of all the monsters in the area as she walked, and a few began converging to her location while others just contented themselves with watching her. Or perhaps the light from the flare was mesmerizing, seeing as they've never seen something like it before.  
The first monster that approached her (and triggered a Fight) was a four-foot tall feline monster with dog ears on the side of their head as well as their "normal" cat ears, shoulder-length black hair, and a pacific blue t-shirt. Their bodies were also vibrating, as well as their faces separately. Somehow. According to the monster_compendium file Iji saved, this was a Temmie. Unlike most monsters, Temmies seem to love petting cute humans, who unfortunately have a high chance of being allergic to them. Fortunately, upon it jumping up to her body in an attempt to glomp her, it seems that she doesn't bear this allergy.

"hOI! i'm tEMMIE!"

"Hi, Temmie," she replied. "I was told you have a village somewhere. Can you take me there?" She did have a document with directions, but that was just a precaution. If a Temmie can take her there, why not let them?

"yaYA! I'll taek yU there! Follow mEE!"

The Temmie jumped off and walked down the path, Iji following it every step of the way. An Aaron got in the way, whom Iji asked to go away…which he quite easily complied to for some reason.

Another Temmie made to attack, but the first Temmie convinced her (judging by voice, these Temmies were female) to tag along as she escorted Iji to the Temmie Village.

And then a pair of Moldsmals blocked their path. Knowing how to take care of them back in the Ruins, Iji did the same thing she did before, and that got…one of them to leave, along with two Gold. The other…grew taller, generated a crude mouth and eye on its top, and revealed that it wasn't a Moldsmal at all but what the compendium file described as a Moldbygg.

"Guoooh!" it said in response to the hip shake as it spawned tiny versions of itself around Iji, which fired three ring-shaped projectiles each. Avoiding them was easy, even as the Temmies cheered for her in the back.

The compendium advised unhugging Moldbygg to Spare it, but how can she unhug something she wasn't hugging in the first place?

The second Temmie decided to run forward and said, "hOi, MoldBygg! We're taking CUTE human to TEM VILLAGE! And no worri! No hugging herr!" Moldbygg stood still there before finally nodding its head, then schooched away, leaving a pouch of coins in its wake. The Temmie then collected the coins by rolling over them, not minding the slime that stuck to her body along with the coins. "We gO!"

Deciding to set their antics aside for when she finally reached the village, Iji left the coins on Temmie as she took the Moldsmal's coins and followed the two cute monsters as they eventually diverged from the grass-covered path.

* * *

The next area was considerably more lit than the previous area. The three females passed the narrow corridor before it opened up to reveal a hollowed out place that opened up to her left. A sign was at Iji's immediate left, which read hOI! welcom to… TEM VILLAGE!. The two Temmies that escorted her immediately left as they went deep into their village.

Past the sign were four Temmies, all standing next to a poster with a Temmie on a sea serpent's back. As Iji approached them, they said the following:

"hOI! im temmie! and dis is my friend… temmie!"

"hOI! im temmie! and dis is my friend… temmie!"

"hOI! im temmie! don forget my friend!"

"Hi. I'm Bob."

"Hi, Temmies, Bob," she greeted them in return, then continued looking around. The next thing she noticed was an entrance with two signs in front of it that said hOI! u shud check out… TEM SHOP! and yaYA! i AGREES! shud check… TEM SHOP! in addition to a sign with an exclamation point on top of the entrance.

_Huh. I wonder if you can really sell items here? But I feel like I'm exploiting them if I do that._

Past that was a Temmie statue with the word TEM inscribed beneath, three more Temmies, and a blue mushroom. Past the statue was also a crack in the wall, with a Temmie peeking out of it. The Temmie closest to the sign was gushing over Iji's…human-ness, the middle one was watching a (hard-boiled) egg like (it thinks) a parent would, and the furthest was somehow allergic to themselves and hives broke out of their skin after pointing out the fact.  
as for the mushroom, which called itself Ragel, it had this to say as it danced. "Mushroom dance. Mushroom dance. Whatever could it mean." Its cap then lifted itself, revealing its eyes. "It means you've lived a life of sin." (13)

And to her right was a small collection of houses with plenty of Temmies faring well and doing ordinary villager things. (14) She had no reason to head there, anyway.

With that, she then decided to enter the store, but not before checking her inventory and moving her stuff around to see what she can sell.

When her thoughts diverted to the Dog Residue, it multiplied itself once more (as much as it could, anyway) into various items. _Oh dear. I'm starting to feel guilty already._

Phone Inventory:

Canteen, Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, Dog Residue, Dog Residue

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Spaghetti, Abandoned Quiche, Cloudy Glasses, Crab Apple, Sea Tea, Spider Donut

Expectedly, Iji found a Temmie manning the shop. However, unlike other Temmies, she had light gray instead of black hair as well as a different hairstyle, and a sky blue and yellow striped shirt instead of a solid Pacific Blue shirt.

The Tem Shop itself shelved a branch with a leaf, a bone, a glowing purple potion, and two single socks, both very different in size and design. On top of a couple of what seemed to be cardboard boxes was a framed photo of a certain white dog. The shop's "counter" was also just a cardboard box with the words "TEM SHOP" on its side facing Iji, matching the colors and clothes of the Tem Shop owner.

"hOI! welcom to… da TEM SHOP!" the vendor greeted.

"Hi," she greeted. "What are you selling?"

"We have tem flake, tem flake (ON SALE,), tem flake (expensiv), and…" Her eyes began to quiver a bit. "tem pay 4 colleg?"

" **Me** pay **your** college tuition of 1000 Gold? Maybe another time."

"fdshfg"

"Gerson says I can sell items to you. Is that true?" Iji asked as she opened her Phone's inventory to reveal her stuff.

"WOA!" the Temmie vendor gasped. "u gota… Canteens!"

"Huh? That?" She nearly forgot about the canteen she put in her Phone. Now it looks like the shopkeeper wants it. At least Iji has a second one.

"hnnn…I gota have dat Canteens…but I gota pay for colleg, hnnnn….! tem always wanna Canteens!…! tem buy Canteens for…501G!"

Iji was unnerved by how much enthusiasm this Temmie has for a simple metallic container for liquids, especially since she wasn't sure. "Umm…I'm not sure if I should."

The shopkeeper then went for the classic "cutey trick" everybody knew but only some can successfully pull off; the puppy-dog eyes trick. "b…but… p! tem buy Canteens for…628G!"

Falling for it, she relented and handed it over, receiving a humongous pouch of Gold from the shopkeeper, who looked really happy to have. And after seeing that look, she can't bear to just rip her off with all these Dog Residue and instead reached into her satchel for the bag of miscellaneous junk she got in the area where she met the Mad Dummy. She made sure to look for something that was actually useful (or at least for a Temmie) before pawning it off to the shopkeeper. She also asked for the other items the shopkeeper has on display, but was told only the Tem Flakes are for sale, and that the potion was just her favorite juice.

Once she had more than 1000 Gold from pawning off items (and the Dog Residues the shopkeeper wanted to have), Iji then realized the shopkeeper probably had the money all along to pay for college and was too stupid (if she was willing to buy from the "cute human" in the first place) to realize it.

"Um, miss?"

"YaYA?!" replied the Temmie.

"I think you had the money all along," Iji said as she handed over 1000 Gold. Monsters beyond the Ruins had coins for different denominations; they just happened to call their currency Gold regardless, so she wasn't as weighed down by her money as she thought.

"WOA!" gasped the shopkeeper. "thas ALOT o muns… can tem realy acepts…"

The human couldn't help but nod.

"OKs! tem go to colleg and make u prouds!" And then, she zipped out of the store like a cartoon character. (15) And an afterimage of her face seemed to be left behind, looking at her still and not fading away.

Deciding to ignore this, Iji decided to open her Tasen logbook and began using the information she gathered to create a draft proposal covering peace terms and advised regulations regarding every species of monster so that war won't break out between monsters and humans (and Tasen) again. For example, the Vulkins from Hotland—which is the area after Waterfall—can be disastrous with their obliviousness to why their 'lava' is painful.

While she still doesn't know much about King Asgore yet (the Undernet doesn't have everything on him), she can update her proposal once she meets him. She just has to get past Undyne first, and get everybody to stop hating on humans, mainly because they don't need to worry about territory issues what with the Alpha Strike and all.

Iji sighed upon realizing how morbid her thoughts are for thinking of the Alpha Strike over and over and making light of it. She then decided to return to working on her proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nightelf37: Sorry for ending the chapter right there, but I didn't want to make the chapter too long like with Chapter 2, which covered the last of the ruins, the entire Snowdin Forest, and part of Snowdin itself while Chapter 3 covered more of her time there, the battle with Papyrus, the date with Papyrus, a brief entering of Waterfall, and hanging out with Sans.
> 
> Okay, maybe it was established in canon that humans cannot use magic, so perhaps I screwed up a bit with Toriel asking Iji about that. Or maybe she's wondering if they can use it in the years since the monsters imprisonment (and likely knows that the humans of old used equipment like artifacts).
> 
> (1) The reason why only Nano can be found is because Nanofields come with a self-destruct mechanism to prevent their technology from being stolen.
> 
> (2) Iji technically Saved here, but she doesn't know that.
> 
> (3) Looks like despite a Pacifist Run, Woshua can sense the Tasen and Komato Iji had indirectly slain.
> 
> (4) The Resonance Reflector reflects mass-based projectiles, and so for story purposes, I decided that magical attacks had mass in them in order to maintain their shape, and ergo can be reflected. Besides, if it can reflect energy-based projectiles like the Shocksplinter, I figured magical attacks were no different; magic is just another kind of energy. That, or Yukabacera cracked it to be able to do that.
> 
> (5) Remember, Iji's a (reluctant) fighter, so yeah, she wasn't going to just run like the Child did.
> 
> (6) I miss Kingdom Hearts. It's what led me to fanfic writing in the first place.
> 
> (7) Using the Narrator theory, I believe they're just swept up in the moment. In fact, they are responsible for the whole 'concert' sequence. In reality, Iji and Shyren just hummed together alone (with Shyren's agent) in the room, the agent appreciates her help, and they left.
> 
> (8) The consequences of trying to implement a game into a fic where plenty of game elements are part of the world. And the Narrator might have something to do with it.
> 
> (9) According to Toby Fox, their name really is Kid.
> 
> (10) The Child probably never thought of that, and if the Phone can store a Microwave, an Umbrella should pose no problem.
> 
> (11) I know this looks like a case of New Powers As The Plot Demands, but…that's technically true; who knows what Iji was thinking of packing for her trip there? I don't either, and so I end up presenting it like this. She was Crazy Prepared enough to blast herself over and over with the MPFB Devastator just to reach a poster and Banana Gun.
> 
> (12) The Narrator's in action here. Unlike the child, whose thought process is up to the Undertale!player, Iji has her own thought process, albeit shaped by the Iji!Player's actions. As for who the Player is, that would be me, the author, and there will be no exploring that path to the 4th wall.
> 
> (13) Just like Woshua, Ragel (that's the mushroom's name) senses the metaphorical blood on Iji's hands.
> 
> (14) Just because we don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And writing liberties.
> 
> (15) I figured I'd put something different in this instance. And coming back so soon didn't feel like something I liked to put in this fic.
> 
> Up next: Iji finally throws down with Undyne, exchange blows, and then become friends. How? You'll see.
> 
> See ya on Third!


	5. Fighting, Fleeing, and (be)Friending Fishfolk

* * *

nightelf37: Come to think of it, now that I've played Iji again, I realized that some of the things she's gotten aren't possible in-game, but can be gotten in-story after the game's events, so I'll just edit things in.

Oops, I did it again. Let's just assume she shuffled her inventory around.

Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Spaghetti, Abandoned Quiche, Cloudy Glasses, Crab Apple, Sea Tea, Spider Donut

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide, monster_compendium, temmie_village_directions, gaster_note, the_undertale, underground_compilation, ask_gerson_about_the_king_later, negotiation_proposal_(draft)

Iji's Nanofield

LEVEL: 55, HEALTH: 10, ATTACK: 10 (last few points gotten after the end of the game), ASSIMILATE: 10, STRENGTH: 10, TASEN: 10, KOMATO: 10, CRACK: 10

10 out of 10 Supercharges Collected (the one in the generator acquired post-'game'), All Weapons (inc. Null Driver) Collected, Scrambler Acquired (given to by Yukabacera), Jump Upgrade, Armor Upgrade Level 3, Nanofield Reset Learned

To ThatOneGuy: That phrase I put in the end is just by farewell phrase. Nearly every fanfic author whose stories I've read have such. It's supposed to make me unique (I think), and it's a reference to the "Who's On First" routine. I explained it at the end of my second chapter in Kingdom Hearts Remake 1 (Retcon Version).

As for Iji's LV, it's seen in Chapter 1, when she first checked her phone. Her LV **not** being 1 there is alluding to the fact that…well, I'd rather not spoil the details for those who've yet to play (or watch a Pacifist Run Let's Play) of _Undertale_. And something about reflects in _Iji 1.6_. How LV works still applies in the context of what she did.

For point of reference, it's October 10 in the story. Iji entered the Underground sometime in the afternoon at October 7, and time travels a small percentage faster in the Underground as a weird side-effect of the Alpha Strike hitting the Barrier. Magic and all that.

* * *

It was a much shorter time than she had thought, but Iji was surprised to see the Temmie shopkeeper back already, and with her graduation cap, as well as a boxed item that read "Temmie Armor" on the outside. Temmie college must be vastly different from what she was thinking.

"tem bak from cool leg, tem learn MANY THINs, learn to sell new ITEM! yayA!" said the shopkeeper.

"Congratulations!" replied Iji, then asked. "So, what's that Temmie Armor?"

"tem armor so GOOds! any battle becom! a EASY victories! but, hnn, tem think… if u use armors, battles wouldn b a challenge anymores."

"I think I'd prefer that, actually." _I mean, I did see that thing in Sector X where one can bring Tor's exoskeleton to Maximum Charge, but I didn't use it because why the hell would I?!_

"but tem…have a solushun!"

_Oh?_

"tem will offer…A SKOLARSHIPS! if you lose a lot of battles, tem wil LOWER THE PRICE! so if you get to TOUGH BATTLE and feel FRUSTRATE, can buy TEM armor as last resort! but tem armor so goods, promise to only buy if you really needs it. in fack… PRICE MAY ALREADY BE LOWERS! WOA! Congra-tem-lations!"

"Whoa, really? How much is the armor?"

"Well, the orig price is 9999G, but wit your SKOLARSHIPS, tem sell it to you for…750G!" (1)

Iji couldn't believe her ears. Was this "Temmie Armor" so good to deserve such an exorbitant price tag? And even with the discount, it's still pretty costly. But she wanted that armor. An exploitation be damned, she was going to get it. Come to think of it, she had a little more junk in her satchel to sell. And maybe Temmies might like beans.

* * *

"bOI!"

When Iji exited the Tem Shop, she was clad in the Temmie Armor. For whatever reason, she was expecting something out of cardboard or maybe a Temmie strapped to her body, but it was actually like a standard knight's cuirass and shoulder plates, though it did expectedly have a Temmie motif and colors matching the shopkeeper's T-shirt. There was also a warm feeling of magic coating the armor, and when she checked her Phone, she saw her HP slowly rising. (2) _Huh. Who knew they could make something so great?_

Bidding the Temmies farewell, she continued through Waterfall, using another flare to help light the way. It certainly helped now that the next area seemed to dim. A set of glyphs she passed read Without candles of magic to guide them Home, the monsters used crystals to navigate. But since she had a flare, that wouldn't be necessary.

Eventually getting out of the twisted bio-luminescent grass path, she found her way to a dark narrow corridor which opened up to a shallow flooded area. To her left was an alternate path, but Iji decided to press forward, which opened to dry ground. It did lead to a dead end though, marked by an Echo Flower, and some tall grass to the left.

 _Wonder what this says?_ Iji mused as she approached the flower.

"Behind you," came a gruff female voice from it. Immediately turning around, she saw that Undyne was on the other side, leaving her trapped in this corridor as the captain approached her target, her heavy armor making sounds with every step. Realizing she might need to actually fight her, Iji tossed the flare down to the floor between them and unholstered her Nanogun.

"… Seven. Seven human souls," she said. "With the power of seven human souls, our king… King **Asgore** Dreemurr… will become a god. With that power, **Asgore** can finally shatter the barrier. He will finally take the surface back from humanity… And give them back the suffering and pain that we have endured. Understand, human? This is your only chance at redemption. Give up your soul… Or I'll tear it from your body."

Undyne then crouched as she summoned a spear. Iji set her Nanogun to Resonance Detonator mode. She really did **not** want to kill her.

"I guess you haven't heard, huh?" the human replied. "Do you know about that earthquake that hit here? And the 'aliens' that came in here and attacked your people? Well, they blasted the entire world with huge lasers. There are so few of us left there's room now for all of us to share. And what about the aliens you fought off? Can't **their** souls substitute for a human's? That's what I came to tell your king."

Undyne did not dignify that with a response as she began to charge forward…only to stop as Kid suddenly emerged from the tall grass and ended up between the two.

"Undyne! I'll help you fight!" He then noticed nobody was talking as he looked back and forth between his idol and his new friend. The flare continued to burn right underneath the captain, but she didn't seem to mind. "YO! You did it, Iji! Undyne is **right** in front of you!" He then looked back at the armored monster. "She told me that she apparently got you really, really mad because of something she did. What **did** she do that you would want to beat her up?"

Undyne's response was to dismiss her spear, approach Kid, and pull him away by the face (since he had no arms to be pulled by), leaving until Iji could no longer see them.

"H-hey! You aren't gonna tell my parents about this, are you?" he was saying as she was pulled away.

Once they were gone, Iji re-holstered her Nanogun, retrieved the flare, and held it up before heading to the other path she found earlier.

* * *

The next area consisted of a low flooded area with Echo Flowers, although the terrain between the path seemed to be lower for some reason, and the water wasn't flowing to those areas. Iji ignored this phenomenon and pressed forward, listening to the conversation that seemed to have taken place here once before, recorded by the flowers.

"…hmm… if I say my wish… You promise you won't laugh at me?"

"Of course I won't laugh!"

"Someday, I'd like to climb this mountain we're all buried under. Standing under the sky, looking at the world all around… That's my wish."

Then came the sound of laughter.

"…hey, you said you wouldn't laugh at it!"

"Sorry, it's just funny… That's my wish, too."

On a set of glyphs on a wall before a right turn, she saw the prophecy she read once before in the Snowdin library. The Angel… The One Who Has Seen The Surface… They will return. And the underground will go empty.

After taking the right turn, the wall eventually ended there and a long wooden bridge stood ahead, supported by wooden supports and one rock formation. Around her ware stalagmites, stalactites, and formations where those two met and fused. Just before she could reach the other side, though, she heard a voice.

"Yo!"

Iji turned around and saw Kid, **without** Undyne, and approaching her. But why was he doing this? Surely Undyne already told him what she was, right?

"Yo, I'm not supposed to be here, but… I wanna ask you something."

"…All right," she replied cautiously.

"Man, I've never had to ask anyone this before… Umm… Yo… You're human, right? Haha."

She nodded in response. "That's why Undyne's after me."

"Man! I knew it! …well, I know it now, I mean. Undyne told me,um, 'stay away from that human'. So, like, ummm… I guess that makes us enemies or something. But I kinda stink at that, haha. Yo, say something mean so I can hate you? Please?"

While she knows this might be best for Kid, Iji just couldn't being herself to, especially if Undyne shows up again. "No. I can't."

"Yo, what? So I have to do it? Here goes nothing…" Kid steeled himself however much he could. "Yo, I I… I hate your guts."

"…" His insult really was pathetic, especially when she's heard much worse trash talk from Krotera, Asha, and Iosa.

"Man, I… I'm such a turd. I'm… I'm gonna go home now."

Kid then backed up a bit before turning around and running once more. He then tripped, like he usually did, but since he was on a bridge, he now found himself dangling on the side, barely hanging on with his teeth.

"KID!" gasped Iji.

"Yo, w-w-wait! Help! I tripped!"

And as if to make things worse, Undyne chose this time to enter the scene, now standing on the other side of the bridge, but Iji knew what she had to do. Ignoring the captain for the moment, who was also making to move but was a bit hesitant, she moved in to pick up Kid and set him down safely on the bridge. And then she backed away to ensure Undyne that she wasn't going to use him as a shield, putting her hands up in gesture of peace. "Come on, Kid. Go to her."

Instead of doing that, though, Kid faced Undyne and stood his ground. He was shaking, but he remained where he was. "Y… y… yo… dude… If… If y-you wanna hurt my friend… You're gonna have to get through me, first."

Undyne for her part backed up one, step, then another, and then walked away, to Iji's relief and surprise.

Kid turned back to face Iji. "She's gone… Yo, you really saved my skin."

"Of course I did, Kid," she replied. "It was the right thing to do."

"Guess being enemies was just a nice thought, haha. We'll just have to be friends instead. …man, I should REALLY go home… I bet my parents are worried sick about me!"

With that, he began to walk back the way Undyne came, only to turn back to Iji once more to say "Later, dude!" before finally absconding.

"Bye!"

Now, without any distractions, and holding no illusions that Undyne will continue to go after her despite that, Iji continued forth, making her way back to solid ground. Before she did, though, she needs to call someone.

"Ansaksie?" she called.

"Yeah, Iji?"

"I feel I'm about to face Undyne once again soon. Can you promise me something?"

The Komato did a cautious pause."What?"

"Don't kill her, even if she's gonna try to kill me."

"I'm not sure about this. You remember what we did to Iosa?"

"Iosa and Undyne are not the same. I'll admit I had notions of trying to spare her then, but that was just me holding on to my beliefs, as well as getting your kind to leave. These monsters live here as much as humans do, and I can't make a bad impression by killing their captain of the guard.

"Iosa was a psychotic elite soldier of the Komato fleet; Undyne's her people's heroine. Even when she was after me, I could tell she was more concerned for her kind. She pulled a kid out of the fray rather than fight me and hope the kid runs. When that same kid defended me after I saved him in front of her, she didn't go past him to fight me anyway. Besides, you had something personal with Iosa and you wanted my help."

There was a pregnant pause before the Komato spoke again. "…All right. It's your mission, after all, and you **did** defeat Tor and Asha. Undyne shouldn't prove much of a problem for you."

"Thank you, Ansaksie."

"Another thing. About Iosa. If you had spared her then by not meeting up with me, she would've killed you, no matter what Tor would've said, even if they were together. To be called the Invincible, and yet be beaten, she wouldn't be able to take the humiliation, and she would've made sure that you would die for real the next time she ran into you. (3) We did right killing her. I couldn't have done it without you."

"I guess. Be seeing you, wherever you are."

"Closer than you think. I'll be watching."

And the transmission ended there. _All right. Without Kid backing me up, Undyne's clear to come after me. And after four failures, one she brought onto herself, I'm betting she's waiting in the next area._ Continuing on, after Iji crossed another small wooden bridge to another patch of solid ground, she found herself at a path that turned left into a tunnel cutting through a huge crag. And standing atop this crag was Undyne! And off in the distance were pipes and steam-based machinery.

"Seven," the captain said. "Seven souls, and King **Asgore** will become a god." Undyne then turned to the right. "Six. That's how many we have collected thus far." She then turned to look down at Iji. "Understand? Through your seventh and final soul, this world will be transformed." She then turned to her right again so that she looked like she was facing left. "First, however, as is customary for those who make it this far," And then she faced Iji once more. "I shall tell you the tragic tale of our people." Turned to the left again. "It all started, long ago…"

Iji waited patiently, not taking out her Nanogun yet.

"… No, you know what?" All of a sudden, Undyne was shouting. " **Screw it! Why should I tell that story when you're about to die!?** **NGAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** " Her voice grew so loud at the end there that Iji had to turn away. When she looked again, Undyne had her helmet off, showing that she was a piscine, anthropomorphic monster. She had blue scales, a long red ponytail, and red and blue fins on the sides of her head. She also now had her back turned, but she eventually turned around once more, showing a a pair of sharp, yellow, protruding teeth, red eye shadow, an eye patch on her left eye, her right eye had a black vertical pupil and yellow scleroses, and she lacked a nose.

"YOU! You're standing in the way of everybody's hopes and dreams! Alphys's history books made me think humans were cool with their giant robots and flowery swordswomen."

 _What? She sounds like one of those shonen animé protagonists…_ , Iji thought as she un-holstered her Nanogun.

" **But you?** You're just a coward! Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again! And let's not forget your wimpy goody-two-shoes-schtick!"

_Too passionate. No reasoning with her from this distance._

"Oooh! I'm making such a difference by hugging random strangers!" Undyne mocked before resuming her hot-blooded mood. "You know what would be more valuable to everyone? **If you were dead!** That's right, human! Your continued existence is a crime! Your life is all that stands between us and our freedom! Right now, I can feel everyone's hearts pounding together! Everyone's been waiting their whole lives for this moment! But we're not nervous at all. When everyone puts their hearts together, they can't lose!

"Now, human! Let's end this, right here, right now. I'll show you how determined monsters can be! Step forward when you're ready! Fuhuhuhu!"

For some reason, the wind started to howl, and this made Iji all the more determined to get past the captain of the guard, one way or another, but without Undyne becoming dust in the process. It felt like one of those moments in those animé, where rivals faced one another. She had enough of that one-sided shit with Asha. But she could feel the sincerity in Undyne's claim. If this was someone who **can** be befriended, it'll have to be done by combat, or saving her life. But right now, Iji's priority was reaching Asgore, and that means passing Undyne, and so she prepared to break into a run.

Before that could happen however, Iji was assaulted with visions.

* * *

_Unable to escape, Iji was forced to throw down with Undyne, exchanging shotgun blasts and dodging spear attacks. The battle was fierce, and both were equally determined to win it._

_Before long, one final blast from Iji brought Undyne down to her knees. Iji herself was also down to a low HP count, Cinnamon Bunny and two Nice Creams already consumed. She was saving one for Undyne._

_"Ngahhh… You were stronger… than I thought…" the captain said between huffs of breath._

_"I was not bragging when I said I plowed through two armies." Iji wasn't as tired, but she was also kneeling._

_"So then… this is where… it ends…"_

_"It doesn't have to be. Just take me to your king."_

_Despite her injuries, Undyne summoned a spear and used it to prop herself to her feet. "No…NO! I won't die! Alphys… Asgore… Papyrus… Everyone is counting on me to protect them! NNNNAGH!" With one last swing, she bound Iji's SOUL in place once more, and another spear spawned in the human's free hand. "Human! In the name of everyone's hopes and dreams… **I will defeat you**!"_

_"Undyne! Stop doing this!" Iji pleaded._

_"Come on, is that all you've got!?"_

_Both Nanogun and spear were used to block the incoming attacks. Undyne was smiling as if nothing was wrong. As if she was taking pride in this sacrifice. A sacrifice that was frankly misplaced and unnecessary._

_"…pathetic. You're going to have to try harder than that!"_

_"I don't want to fight you! I've told you that the entire fight!" Undyne's attacks were getting slower as her body began to waver, like her body was about to fade from existence and she was just hanging on with sheer determination._

_"S-see how strong we are when we believe in ourselves?"_

_More attacks. Even slower than before. Undyne's body was losing its shape. Iji could clearly tell Undyne was about to die. And she didn't want that to happen. "Let me go, Undyne. Please…"_

_"H…heh… Had enough yet…"_

_More, or to be precise, less attacks. And even slower. Holstering her Nanogun and opening her Phone's inventory, Iji took out her last Nice Cream and extended it to Undyne. "Undyne. Take this. You don't have to die."_

_She ignored the offered healing item. "…I won't… …Give up…"_

_Only three attacks came, straight from Undyne's direction, and were stopped effortlessly. And the ripples were reaching her head. Iji was starting to tear up, not having cried like this since hugging her brother Dan outside the facility as they watched the Komato fleet leave. "I'm begging you. Take it!"_

_And still she didn't, all while keeping Iji's SOUL pinned.. "…Ha… ha… ...Alphys... This is what I was afraid of... This is why I never told you..." And then, it was as if Undyne found the resolve to continue on. "No… No! Not yet! I won't die! NGAHHHHHHHH! **I WON'T DIE!** " And her body seemed to pull itself back together. _

_However, this seems to have terrible consequences, because her body was starting to melt. Alarmed, Iji began trying to pull herself to the dying monster, but her SOUL was still green, and it refused to her her move._

_" **I…WON'T…DIE!** "_

_Undyne's mantra was becoming slower. Iji continued struggling against her SOUL's immovability._

_" **I…WON'T…DIE!** "_

No. No. Please don't!

_" **I… WON'T…** —"_

_The second Iji's SOUL became red, she was onto Undyne in an instant, Nice Cream ready to be forcefully shoved into her mouth. Unfortunately, the monster's unstable body meant that upon reaching her, Undyne instantly dissolved into dust, which bypassed Iji's Nanofield and coated her body except the back._

_Iji had seen living beings die before. The corpses of Dan's colleagues and other humans, Vateilika shooting Krotera in the back, Ansaksie dealing the final blow to Iosa, Tor committing suicide, not to mention all the Tasen and Komato that died trying to kill her or fighting each other. But for some reason, Undyne's passing struck her much more. She could feel her body quivering as she fell to her knees, and then down to her hands, letting the unused Nice Cream fall a short distance away._

_She felt the tears fall from her eyes._

_She ignored the Phone in her hand notifying that her LOVE has increased from 10 to 11._ (4)

_She ignored Ansaksie teleporting right behind her._

_"Why…" Iji began to mutter._

_The Komato respectfully said nothing._

_"Why did she have to throw herself at me?"_

_Ansaksie still thought speaking now was improper._

_"Why does everybody important have to fight me? Elite Krotera. Assasin Asha. Iosa the Invincible. General Tor. Toriel. Papyrus. And now Undyne. Each time, I wanted to just talk to them peacefully or just get past them. Each time, they didn't listen, and I had to fight them. And each time, save Papyrus and Toriel, they have all died. Not by my hand, but I'm still partly responsible."_

_"Iji…" the Assassin began to speak._

_The human pounded the ground with a fist in frustration, cracking it, and cutting off her friend. " **Why?! Why do I have the worst luck when it comes to the important people?! Why can't I do it right with them?!** " _

_"Don't blame yourself, Iji,"Ansaksie tried to assure her as she continued to cry. "Asha's always been an asshole. Peaceful talk has always been a foreign concept for Iosa. And Tor's always been a slave to public demand. I can't say anything about Krotera, though."_

_It took a while before Iji finally calmed herself down. "I just wish I could turn back the clock. Do things over. Use what I know to make sure I don't—"_

* * *

And then she was suddenly back to reality. And Undyne hadn't taken advantage of this opportunity to impale her with a spear.

 _What the hell was that?!_ Iji thought. (5) _No. Best think of that later. I must **not** hurt her much. That's what I should remember. _ And then, she steeled her resolve as she got ready.

Undyne sensed it, too. "That's it, then…! No more running away!" She jumped off the crag, spear out, ready to impale the human. " **Here I come!** "

But Iji was already past her. However, Undyne had another trick up her sleeve. As she got up, Undyne turned around and hurled her spear, hitting her mark. Not only did Iji's SOUL start to glow, it also turned green, and she found herself incapable of moving it from its current position. While she can still move her body around, it was only as long as her SOUL remained where it was. For the moment, she was stuck.

"En guarde!"

Left without a choice, Iji unholstered her Nanogun, only for a spear of energy to manifest on one hand. (6)

"As long as you're **green** , you **can't escape**! Unless you learn to face danger head-on… You won't last a **second** against **me**!"

She then flashed a menacing smile as she summoned arrows of energy that came Iji's way, who used the Resonance Reflector to return them to sender, though the third was slow on the arrival. The human then used the spear to block that arrow.

"You underestimate your opponent, Undyne!" Iji countered.

"Not bad! Then how about **this**!?" Another volley of arrows, two in front, two from the left, and two from the right. The front ones were reflected, while the side ones were stopped with the spear.

Iji ignored the smell of sushi that seemed to waft from the captain. "You don't know the first thing about me!"

"For years, we've dreamed of a happy ending…" Spears closed in both from left and right and were promptly blocked. But Iji missed the one coming right from behind. "And now, sunlight is just within our reach!" As the captain bounced impatiently, she launched another volley, which closed in on Iji from all directions, forcing the human to spin to block them all. The last of those came from Undyne's general direction, and the Resonance Reflector was used on them to return to sender, but for all her hot-blooded passion, Undyne was certainly much smarter than the aliens Iji fought, and dodged them with ease. "I won't let you snatch it away from us!"

"And I won't!" Iji talked back. "I'm gonna break the Barrier myself!" Another volley came, and this time, Iji saw the one arrow coming from behind and used the Reflector to send it away. She also saw Undyne drawing her finger across her neck.

"NGAHHH! Enough warming up!" In came another volley from all directions, but at the last second, Undyne swung her spear, turning Iji's SOUL red again, banishing the spear from her hand, and sending another one her way from the side. Iji ducked on instinct and the spear sailed over her head, then holstered her Nanogun as she ran straight for Undyne.

The captain met this by running headlong as well, spear in hand. Reading her opponent's move, Iji weaved around the attack, quickly closing in on Undyne, then clotheslined her by the neck before running down the path to Hotland, her SOUL fading as soon as she made good distance.

Undyne was quick to get up from that though and was immediately pursuing her. She seemed to be going faster than the first time they clashed. Probably an adrenaline rush or something.

Iji just managed to reach what looked like a digital marquee that said WELCOME TO HOTLAND! when Undyne managed to catch up to her and render her SOUL green again. Once again, a spear of energy appeared in her hands. No using the Nanogun this time.

"You won't get away from me this time!" the captain declared. "Honestly, I'm doing you a favor…" She then proceeded with another set of energy arrows, which Iji easily blocked. "No human has **ever** made it past **Asgore**!"

Another volley, with one slow-moving arrow headed to the human's left, but quicker shots from the other directions nearly caught her off guard. Key word being "nearly".

"Killing you now is an act of mercy!"

Another volley, this time consisting of a fast volley of arrows from both sides, and then front-and-back volley.

"So **stop** being so damn resilient!"

After yet another volley of arrows, an off-guard swipe of Undyne's spear like last time turned Iji's SOUL red again. And like last time, the human dodged it easy.

"What the hell are humans made out of!?"

Undyne summoned spears all over the area before sending them straight for Iji, who evaded them as she unholstered her Nanogun and fire the Resonance Reflector once more, sending some of the spears away.

"Anyone else would be **dead** by now!"

 _This is getting out of hand._ Iji thought as spears came out from the ground like the time she encountered her with Kid. _I have to subdue her somehow! I wonder if a hard blow to the head will knock her out? That should do it._ "No human has the protection or weapon **I** have!"

Undyne took this time to render her opponent's SOUL green again, and the spear re-manifested itself.

"Alphys told me humans were determined…"

Undyne's next volley of arrows came with one that looked orange and seemed to be flying backwards. And then that arrow curved until it was 180 degrees from its previous position in respect to her, making an attack from the right an attack to the left instead.

"I see now what she meant by that!"

Another volley coupled with those orange arrows.

"But I'm determined, too!"

Yet another volley of regular arrows, followed by a volley or orange ones.

"Determined to end this **right now**!"

Instead of another volley of arrows, Undyne grabbed a huge boulder from the side, lifted it like it was nothing, then hurled it straight at Iji. (7) The human hoped her Nanofield works against huge objects like this and delivered a kick to it, cracking it quite a bit before returning it to sender. Undyne countered this by sending a lot of spears to slice it apart.

"Whoa!" Undyne had to admit. "You're much cooler than you look! But I still need your SOUL."

"Why?!" Iji replied. "I know for a fact that there have been others before me that came here and fought your kind. The kid even saw you kill one of them. Haven't you tried using **their** SOULs?"

"Alphys is still finding out the answer as we speak, but until then, human SOULs are what we need, and there is one right in front of me!" Spawning a spear in her hand, the captain charged forward, and at the same time turned Iji's SOUL red again, but did not banish **her** spear.

Iji turned her weapon around so that the pointy end was facing away from Undyne, then swung it to divert the captain's thrust attack. "Seriously? A few months and still no answer from her and her research team?"

"Research team?" scoffed Undyne as the two began to clash their spears against one another. "Alphys is the only scientist working on this, and ever since the attack, she's also the only one left!"

"One or two attacks wiping out all but one of monsterkind's scientists? Surely that's not true! And are you sure she hasn't taken in any interns?"

"None that I—wait, why am I telling you this?!" She put a lot more effort into her attacks, and it took Iji everything she had just to keep up.

And then her Phone started to ring. And for some reason Undyne stopped attacking and even backed off and gestured for Iji to answer it! The human dropped the spear she had on hand, took out her Phone and answered it in one hand, while unholstering her Nanogun with the other hand and setting it to Resonance Detonator mode.

"HEY! WHAT'S UP!?" It was Papyrus! "I WAS JUST THINKING… YOU, ME, AND UNDYNE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT SOMETIME! I THINK YOU WOULD MAKE GREAT PALS! LET'S MEET UP AT HER HOUSE LATER!"

"Undyne's with me right—" Iji quickly edged in but he already hung up. Seemingly knowing the call was over, Undyne charged straight at her, but the Resonance Detonator quickly repelled her all the way to the other side of the corridor they were at. (8) Iji then immediately hotfooted down the path, bypassing the marquee and making her first steps into Hotland.

* * *

The first place she found herself in was a raised platform of reddish rock with a "wooden" bridge ahead (likely a rock formation painted to look like wood), as well as _freaking magma_ right below. It made Iji nervous, since while Yukabacera once said that Nanofields can repel even molten rock (if they can withstand surface-of-the-sun hot drinks), the air trapped in her Nanofield if that happened means diving in it can still eventually kill her.

Oh, and a sentry station was there, too. Sans was manning it, and there was even snow on the roof (somehow). But the skeleton seemed to be sleeping, and Iji wasn't sure where his loyalties lie. So she ignored him for now and crossed the bridge. Already, she can hear the mad footsteps of Undyne in pursuit. Eventually, the bridge ended in another raised platform that had a water cooler complete with a holder for plastic cups.

Feeling a little thirsty, Iji thought she could use a quick break and poured herself a cup; surely she could drink it and go before Undyne makes it here.

And then she heard the sound of heavy armor. And it was slow. The human turned to see the captain of the guard just about to cross the bridge as well, but something was wrong.

"Armor… so… hot…" she panted. "But I can't… Give up…" And then she collapsed, and it made Iji panic a bit.

 _Crap. She must be overheated! No way that water over there can help her much!_ Immediately, Iji filled another cup, rushed over to Undyne, then splashed it all over her armor in hopes of cooling it down. Then, positioning herself correctly, Iji bent down, lifted Undyne over her shoulder, then started walking back with her in tow. (9) With her Nanofield's Strength upgrades, it was quite easy.

As she passed Sans' station, she swore she saw his eye flash for a moment before finding herself past it and close to the path with the marquee.

It was a silent walk all the way back to Undyne's house. Or at least it would've been had she not awoken. And she was unsurprisingly shocked to see the human she was fighting carrying her.

Feeling her move, Iji immediately said, "If I wanted you dead, I would've thrown you into the magma. I told you I didn't want to fight. But I understand why you did; you hold the burden of the fate of your kind on your shoulders. You feel like this is what you must do, although I'm sure you do like some of it."

Undyne took this in as Iji lit a flare before speaking up. "So where are you taking me?"

"To your house."

"What?! How did you know—"

"Papyrus told me where. That was him on the phone by the way. He was hoping the three of us could hang out sometime."

Seeing as she lacked the stamina to escape the human's grasp, Undyne let herself hang for now. But as soon as she was confident she could get out of the human's grip, or if the human made any move to dispose of her… "Wait. You actually think I'm gonna be friends with you? You're the enemy of everyone's hopes and dreams. **I will never be your friend.** "

"I'll settle with **not** being your **enemy**. You don't even know **why** I'm here. Nor do you seem to care."

"Well, obviously you want all monsters to be dead. To finish what your kind started in the war."

 _Wow. She's pretty stubborn. But I'll reach her._ "If that was the case, then Snowdin would've been a ghost town, Papyrus would be dead, and so would you the moment I saw you."

"You're here to assassinate King Asgore, then. After gaining everybody's trust, once you reach him, you're gonna attack him when he's most vulnerable, because you know you can't take him in a straight-up fight. No one can."

"You could've kept an eye on me if you took me to him. Have me watched 24/7."

"So, why are you here, really?" By this point, the two were just passing by Gerson's shop.

"I'm here as an ambassador between mankind and monsterkind. I know we've had our differences, and there's the whole war centuries ago, but a lot of things have changed in the surface, and I believe cooperation is vital if both our races are to survive."

The piscine monster was confused. "Survive? What the heck are you talking about?"

"Later. We're here."

Indeed, Iji and Undyne were finally at the latter's house, and Papyrus was standing in front of it, facing the door. Because she thought Undyne wouldn't like to look weak around Papyrus, even though she's already looked such in front of every monster the two have bypassed on the way here, Iji put her down and helped her stand up.

"There." She then called out to their mutual friend. "Hey, Papyrus!"

The skeleton turned around and was surprised with whom he saw. "IJI! UNDYNE! I'VE BEEN WAITING!"

Undyne then seemed to remember something. "Oh. Right. Your extra-private, one-on-one training."

Iji realized certain implications with that one sentence, but she already knows the training is just exactly that.

"YOU BET!"

Undyne looked to the human who carried her all the way back here, then to the Royal Guard wannabe she's been training, and then to the human again. Iji seemed to be patiently urging her to make her decision. Papyrus looked like he really wanted the three of them to hang out together. Eventually… "Why don't you two come in?"

As if in response, the door Papyrus was standing close to opened up like a mouth. Papyrus immediately stepped aside as the two females walked in together, after which he followed.

* * *

The interior of Undyne's house consists of a kitchen with a table, a chair, a fridge, a large sword, a piano, and a window on the left side of the house. The only other door aside from the entrance presumably led to Undyne's own room. The home owner immediately went to the last of those, presumably to change clothes, while Iji and Papyrus stood side by side with the entrance behind them.

Eventually, Undyne exited her room, now clad in a black tank top, jeans, and red sneakers. "So are we ready to start?" she asked.

Papyrus spoke up. "WHOOPSY DOOPSY! I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!"

"Huh? You need to shower so soo—" Iji was about to say when she got cut off by him running to the window and jumping through it, crashing through the glass. "Okay…" She turned back to Undyne. "Does he do that often?"

"Yeah," the piscine monster responded. "But normally he **nails** the landing. So…where were we?"

"Right. The survival of our races. This'll take a while. Better prepare some drinks."

* * *

Just like with Toriel, Iji explained what life had been before the Tasen Alpha Strike, and covered her entire story, starting with what the last scientists of the D.C.M.F.P.R. Research Facility did to her while she was in a coma before they died, continuing with her discovery that it had not been just the Facility that got hit but the entire planet, that she did not (personally) take a single life as he marched through all the soldiers trying to kill her, to make it to their leaders so they could leave, and getting herself tangled in the Tasen's last stand with the Komato. Starting from her awakening to finally getting Tor to call off the Komato, all of this happened in the span of two days. Iji also made a point to include the friends she made among those races (but not mention Ansaksie being here for now).

During this, tea was prepared (and Iji decided they were going to go through one cup of each flavor Undyne had) and they drank. Occasionally, Undyne interrupted her to ask certain questions regarding "human culture" she learned from Alphys. She seemed disappointed that humanity basically went down to the Tasen without even so much as a fight; monsters at least managed to battle humans before being driven back into this mountain. ("Where were your colossal alien-fighting robots?!" "If we ever had any, I think their Alpha Strike destroyed them all. We didn't even know they were there until they struck. But by then, it was too late.")

By the time Iji was done, Undyne was impressed with the battles the Human Anomaly went through, and how her desire to not kill the aliens that attacked her nearly mirrors her journey through Snowdin and Waterfall. She was also skeptical about the truth behind Iji's weaponry ("I'm saving them all for the Barrier. I might need every single ammo to break it." "The Barrier can't be broken with brute force. We've tried everything." "You didn't have me back then. And the Alpha Strike didn't hit it back then."), as well as amazed with how the human drank the tea without so much as flinching from its hotness.

After that, Undyne noted their current cup of tea they were drinking, golden flower tea, was King Asgore's favorite kind, and that Iji reminded her of him; both were " **total** weenies…sort of", and then covered the Underground's own battle against the alien forces. Tasen forces only entered from the open end of the Barrier at Asgore's castle (and presumably from the Ruin entrance through which Iji entered), and the king was able to decimate them all. Komato forces eventually followed, their Berserkers teleporting in from the ceiling, and two massive Annihilators entered through the Barrier along with Troopers and Beasts, leaving Asgore and his best guards to fend them off from there while Undyne and the rest of the Royal Guard defended the populace.

Casualties weren't as high as they could've been, but a lot of Royal Guards lost their lives: Doge, Intermediate Dog, Demiwolf, Quasihound, Overhusky, and Least Dog of the Snowdin Canine Unit (10), RG 05, RG 06, RG 07, RG 08, and more. In a stroke of bad luck, every single Moldaverage was also killed. She also swore she saw powerful bone attacks around, but she doubted they were from Papyrus.

Discussion eventually shifted to more lighthearted things. After Iji told Undyne parts of her pre-Alpha Strike life story, it was the captain's turn, and she looked a little somber.

"Y'know I was a pretty hotheaded kid. Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight Asgore. Emphasis on **tried**. I couldn't land a single blow on him! And worse, the whole time, he refused to fight back! I was so humiliated… Afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy… 'Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?' I said yes, and from then on, he trained me. One day, during practice, I finally knocked him down. I felt… bad. But he was beaming. I had never seen someone more proud to get their butt kicked. Anyway, long story short, he kept training me, and now I'm the head of the Royal Guard! So I'm the one who gets to train dorks how to fight! …like, uh, Papyrus."

She paused for a bit to catch her breath, and Iji waited patiently. It felt nice succeeding in convincing someone who wanted to fight her to not fight her.

"But, um, to be honest…I don't know if… I can ever let Papyrus into the Royal Guard." Iji raised an eyebrow in response. "Don't tell him I said that! He's just… Well… I mean, it's not that he's weak. He's actually pretty freaking tough! It's just that… He's… He's too innocent and nice! I mean, look, he was **supposed** to capture you, and he ended up being **friends** with you instead! I could **never** send him into battle! He'd get ripped into little smiling shreds. That's part of why… I started teaching him how to cook, you know? So, um, maybe he can do something else with his life."

She was silent after that for a bit before she realized something.

"Wait a second. Papyrus… His cooking lesson…" She immediately stood up and clenched her fists as she flexed her arms. " **He was supposed to have that right now!** And if **he's** not here to have it, **you'll have to have it for him!** " Undyne leaped upward and back-flipped as she landed on one end of the counter, then began sidestepping it all the way to the other end. "That's right! **Nothing** has brought Papyrus and I closer than cooking! Which means that if I give you his lesson, **we'll become closer than you can ever imagine!** "

Iji decided to stand up at this point. "Not so fast, Undyne! I've tasted his cooking, and now I know who to blame!" She then pointed at the captain like a certain defense attorney. "Allow me to teach **you** how **we** cook spaghetti!"

* * *

What happened next was a bit of a hassle. Thankfully, Undyne had all the necessary ingredients, but her boiling passion to do things full force clashed with the meticulous instructions that should've been followed. It forced Iji to push her away and berate her with just as much fervor. Half of her time spent cooking was used to keep Undyne from messing things up. Most memorable of these moments was the prolonged wrestling they did while Iji waited for the prerequisite 10 minutes.

Iji was forced to take Undyne outside before the first minute, after which the captain decided that since they were outside, she no longer needed to uphold hospitality and demanded a rematch to regain her lost pride, summoning her spear and letting her opponent attack first. Already having her patience reach the breaking point throughout the cooking lesson, Iji, her SOUL glowing, after calming her heart and mind to ensure that she had no killing intent behind her attack, decided to deliver a powerful kick, striking Undyne in the chest and sending her to the wall behind her, making it crack from the impact…but the captain looked more startled than hurt.

"What. That's the best you can manage?" she asked. "Even attacking at full force, even after it sent me crashing here… You just can't muster any intent to hurt me, huh? …Heh, you know what?" Undyne let go of the spear she managed to clutch onto and it disappeared. "I don't actually want to hurt you either. At first, I hated your stupid saccharine schtick, but… The way you hit me right now, it... reminded me of someone I know train with. Now I know you aren't just some wimpy loser." She managed to crack a smile as she got herself off of her impromptu crater. "You're like Papyrus if he were more like me, but never let go of his incredible compassion."

Undyne sighed as she stood up straight. "…Listen, Iji. It seems that you and **Asgore** are fated to fight. But knowing him, he probably doesn't want to. Talk to him. I'm sure you can persuade him to let you try things your way. If that doesn't…well, eventually, some mean human will fall down here, and I'll take **their** soul instead. That makes sense, right?" She let out a laugh. "Oh, and if you **do** hurt Asgore, I'll take the human souls... Cross the barrier, and beat the hell out of you! That's what friends are for, right?"

Iji cracked a smile. _Looks like I was able to befriend Undyne, after all. Oh, wait._ She immediately turned to the house and ran inside. "The spaghetti!"

"Oh, right!" Undyne gasped and went in, too.

* * *

Thankfully, the spaghetti was saved, and Iji finished the cooking lesson with the proper application of tomato sauce. She and Undyne then had it for lunch (or is it technically elevenses, as the British say?), and Undyne was enamored by its flavor, but Iji didn't think it was that good. Then again, seeing that Undyne was why Papyrus was terrible at cooking spaghetti, her standards were likely low. Iji made sure to leave behind instructions, and promised she will teach Undyne again if she finds her spaghetti…lacking in quality, and she would restrain her all over again.

After exchanging phone numbers, Iji prepared to leave. "Well, time for me to go all the way back to Hotland."

"Wait," said Undyne as she brought the dishes to the sink to wash them. "There's a faster way to get there."

That caught her attention. "Where?"

"South of Gerson's place should be the river. It connects to Snowdin and Hotland. If you need to get from one place to another, jump in! The River Person should be there or in two other stops."

"Oh. That one. How much is the fare?"

"Fare?"

"How much do I pay for a ride?"

"Normally it depends on where you are and where you're going, but today is Free River Ride Week."

"Well, that's convenient. Thanks, Undyne."

"What're friends for?" She then waved goodbye. "See ya later, punk!"

After leaving Undyne's house (11), Iji went to the place her new friend told her, and found a completely hooded figure on a wooden boat. It was impossible to determine their gender, let alone anything else beneath.

"Tra la la. I am the riverman," they introduced themself. "Or am I the riverwoman...? It doesn't really matter. I love to ride in my boat. Would you care to join me?"

Perhaps she's feeling a little too trustworthy at the moment, because Iji didn't hesitate to say "Yes."

"Where will we go today?"

"Hotland."

"Then we're off…"

The…ferry monster, which the monster_compendium file "identified" as the River Person, just like Undyne said, waited for Iji to board the boat before embarking.

The trip was relatively boring, but the boat seemed to be moving at a speed that wasn't natural for rowboats. Maybe the boat was a monster, too, just like Woshuas (probably) and some of the Hotland monsters like Tsunderplanes and Pyropes.

The River Person wasn't particularly talkative, either, and only said this in the middle of their trip. "Tra la la. Beware of the man who speaks in hands."

"That sounds discriminatory. The mute people can't help it, if they even have hands at all; it's the only way for them to communicate apart from writing."

The River Person said nothing as they continued sailing. Eventually, they reached their destination, and the boat stopped at a similar drop off point like before, except it ledt to a stairway made of the same rock in Hotland, as well as four grilles for circulating hot air.

"Come again some time. Tra la la."

Iji thanked them as she got off the boat and climbed the steps.

* * *

The area she found herself in was a bit of a crossroads, with three paths available. Well, one was technically being blocked by two huge monsters in black armor, which was probably treated to withstand Hotland's innate heat (which Iji's Nanofield somehow easily repelled to keep her from sweltering). The path to her left led to the water cooler (put by Dr. Alphys for Undyne) and was an alternate entrance to Hotland from Waterfall, and the right led to a large white-and-red building labeled Lab.

Hoping for some help, Iji decided to call Undyne.

"Yeah?"

"I've reached Hotland, and I'm seeing two guards blocking one of the paths. Well, there's one that leads to the Lab, but that's private property, right?"

"What!? Royal Guards are blocking the way!? Then I'll tell them to...! Well, nothing, I guess."

"Why?"

"I already told them to seek out and destroy you! And I can't just tell them I've changed my mind. You see, Alphys showed me these animations about… Uhh, humans? So I can learn their weaknesses? And one of them is about this human that, uh… Well, suffice to say, they can control people's minds!"

Iji was starting to doubt the sources this Dr. Alphys used for research on humans, and wasn't impressed. "Mind control," she deadpanned.

"Surprised? I know your kind's hidden power!"

"Actually, that's not true, **but** there might be a special few I don't know."

"Sure, sure…" Undyne sounded like she didn't believe her. "Anyway, I told my crew that if I ever defended a human, I must be under some kind of mind control! And to disregard **everything** that I tell them! So, sorry... But my hands are tied. By the way, that animation is really good!"

"I see. Do you think Dr. Alphys will help me get past them?"

"I wouldn't know about that, but her Lab has two entrances. You can easily pass through if she lets you in."

" **Will** she let me in?"

"I think she would. We talked about you earlier and saw your…battle with Papyrus over the cameras."

 _So those cameras were hers._ "I see. Thanks again, Undyne. Catch you later."

"Later!"

With the call concluded, Iji immediately avoided the guards and went straight for the lab. And its door opened automatically as soon as she approached it. _Well that's certainly ominous._ Left with little choice anyway, Iji stepped inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nightelf37: And there we go. I apologize if the fight might not have been as intense as it should be, but this is someone who doesn't want to fight but is capable of doing so. Also, I said from the start that this is a writing experiment, so don't expect anything stellar.
> 
> (1) Yes. Temmie somehow counts the deaths Iji suffered (not that she'd remember) throughout her own game. Playing pacifist runs tends to be difficult, after all (except in Undertale, where you're encouraged to do a pacifist run). I decided to go for the full discount for laughs. Normal Mode for Iji isn't actually that difficult.
> 
> (2) Since we don't know what Temmie Armor actually looks like, I decided…not to go for a joke appearance and go for a standard armor apearance, since I thought it'd be hilarious if they can actually make armor like this.
> 
> (3) That's right. Iji 1.7 has Spare options, but you have to meet certain conditions to have these options available for you to make a choice with.
> 
> (4) Because Iji's EXP is 1337, the 500 she gets when Undyne dies takes her to the next LV.
> 
> (5) This is a previous run in a save before ReLOADing. I wanted to add this scene without making it canon.
> 
> (6) Yes, Undyne gives the Child a spear, which she mentions when you deliberately get yourself
> 
> (7) Another departure from standard gameplay for two reasons. One, it wouldn't be as entertaining. Two, her opponent is clearly not some nigh-helpless child.
> 
> (8) At first, I debated on adding Iji seeing an HP bar (as this was the first time she deals damage onto a monster), but ultimately decided against it.
> 
> (9) Because the Human Child is so small, of course carrying Undyne wouldn't be an option for them, no matter their Determination. 
> 
> (10) Some of these canine characters are a reference to the Mega Crossover project called the "TV Tropes Pantheon" and how deities there are classified as follows power-wise/influence-wise from weakest to strongest (not that those in the former can't beat those in the latter): Quasideity, Demi[god(dess)/deity], Lesser [God(dess)/Deity], Intermediate [God(dess), Greater [God(dess)/Deity], and Overdeity. Their names are inspired by Lesser Dog and Greater Dog. Doge is from cut content in the Undertale game.
> 
> (11) Yup. For once, it isn't burnt down.
> 
> Up next: Iji meets up with two very well-known individuals in the Underground.
> 
> See ya on Third!


	6. A Scientist And Her Killer Show Robot

nightelf37: As usual, inventory time. Seems nothing's changed in it this time, aside from what I've forgotten to add two chapters ago. Sorry again. Looks like the Temmie Armor certainly helped.

Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, Umbrella, [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Spaghetti, Abandoned Quiche, Cloudy Glasses, Crab Apple, Sea Tea, Spider Donut

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide, monster_compendium, temmie_village_directions, gaster_note, the_undertale, underground_compilation, ask_gerson_about_the_king_later, negotiation_proposal_(draft)

To Guest: I guess I forgot about that, but I wanted to advertise the Trope Pantheons as well. And as for that other question, remember that when a monster dies, they turn to dust and their SOUL vanishes. And with the Komato skirmish, quite a lot would be scattered, making your suggestion impossible. No spoilers, please.

To wingedcatgirl: Moldaverage is an actual monster name in-game, seen when you CHECK Moldbygg.

* * *

The interior of the Lab was dark, but was quickly remedied with Iji's flashlight. From what she could see, the walls were a light shade of green, the floor was composed of light blue tiles with yellow in-between.

The small entrance hallway she was in then opened up to a fairly sizable expanse as she walked along. Ahead, she could see a conveyer belt moving towards her direction, a huge television screen showing…her right now, a garbage can, a computer accessing some kind of puzzle in Snowdin on a desk littered with instant noodle bowls, research notes, a coffee mug, and two figurines (one of them a catgirl), a refrigerator filled with instant noodles and soda, and a bag of dog food. Further ahead was a metal door that seemed to lead to a bathroom if the sign next to it was any indication.

And then the door opened (Iji quickly turned off the flashlight) and a monster emerged from it. It was a yellow reptilian (or pangolin-esque) female monster that was 4 feet 9 inches tall. She had scales, round glasses, protruding teeth, and donned a white lab coat. Iji remembered Vateilika getting an interest in glasses lately, even though her visor should correct her vision thanks to Nanotechnology.

Shortly after that, the lights went on, and the monster then walked towards Iji before stopping and reacting in shock.

"Oh. My god." The monster, now identifiable as a female began to panic and spin a bit. "I didn't expect you to show up so soon! I haven't showered, I'm barely dressed, it's all messy, and…" She trailed off from there, panicking for another minute before calming down as she turned to face Iji again. "Ummm… H-h-hiya! I'm Dr. Alphys. I'm Asgore's royal scientist!"

"Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Alphys," the human greeted. "My name's Iji Kataiser. Just call me Iji."

"I see. B-b-but, ahhhh, I'm not one of the 'bad guys'! Actually, since you stepped out of the ruins, I've, um…been 'observing' your journey through my console. Your fights, your friendships, everything!"

"So that was your cameras, then. Is that the Underground's surveillance system?"

"Um…yes. I was originally going to stop you, but… watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them. S-so, ahhh, now I want to help you! Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland! I know a way right to Asgore's castle, no problem!"

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Just Alphys is fine. Well, actually, umm, there's just a tiny issue. A long time ago, I made a robot named Mettaton. Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot. Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something."

Iji nodded, having read up on him.

"Anyway, recently I decided to make him more useful. You know, just some small practical adjustments. Like, um… Anti…anti-human combat features?"

"Was this in response to the alien attack several weeks back? 'Cause I understand if you did that."

"Of c-course! B-b-but when I saw you coming, I immediately decided I have to remove those features! Unfortunately, I may have made a teensy mistake while doing so. And, um…" Alphys began to look really nervous. "Now he's an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood? Ehehehehe…"

Having had to deal with Dan lying to her before, and not just about the Tasen Alpha Strike merely attacking the area around the facility he and their father worked in but **the entire planet** , Iji knew this was a flat-faced one. "Right," she replied with sarcasm.

Alphys didn't seem to notice, though. "Heh. But, ummm, hopefully we won't run into him!"

And then a small rumble occurred. Alphys looked a little confused, and Iji grew a little tense as another rumble came.

"Did you hear something?"

"If what you're saying about Mettaton is true, I'll see if I can take him out," Iji replied as the rumbles continued as she drew her Nanogun. "Just tell me where his central processor unit is so I won't end up destroying it by accident. Wouldn't want to deprive the Underground of their celebrity, right?"

Alphys looked more panicked than usual. "W-w-what?!" And then the lights turned off, leaving everything completely dark. Iji immediately switched her Nanogun to Resonance Reflector mode as she heard something crash through a wall. "Oh no."

"OHHH YES!" a robotic voice came, just like with Sentinel Proxima. "WELCOME, BEAUTIES…" And then a spotlight shone down on the speaker, who seemed to have broken through the wall just past the bag of dog food. "TO TODAY'S QUIZ SHOW!"

This seemed to be Mettaton, whose appearance was that of a gray, largely rectangular box with a grid of lights at the top… similar to the mechanism in Snowdin Forest used for Papyrus's Tile Puzzle. The grid of lights seemed to be able to change colors to substitute for facial expressions. He had four dials along the bottom of his body, and at the bottom, he had a single leg which ended in a wheel. He also had two segmented robotic arms which ended in white gloves.

Two disco balls and a neon sign reading GAME SHOW descended from the ceiling as Mettaton's facelights turned yellow.

"OH BOY! I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW!" The 'M' pattern on his screen was formed again. "EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANT!" Mettaton clapped his hands together as his 'face' flashed blue and yellow before defaulting to yellow again. "NEVER PLAYED BEFORE, GORGEOUS?" His face showed an 'M' again. "NO PROBLEM! IT'S SIMPLE!" And then it showed a '1'. "THERE'S ONLY ONE RULE. ANSWER CORRECTLY…" He then paused for a bit before his face lights flashed yellow and red. "OR YOU DIE!"

And Iji's SOUL began to shine once more; it was time to battle. She set her Nanogun to Shotgun mode, aimed it down at Mettaton's wheel leg, and fired. And to her expectation, and to Mettaton and Alphys' surprise, the leg was instantly shattered into scrap metal and the robot's main body crashed into the floor. (1) Luckily for him, he didn't fall over onto his face, back, or side.

This action left everybody silent for a full half-minute, Mettaton being seemingly unresponsive, Alphys with shock and fear, and Iji with a little discomfort. The latter of them broke the silence. "Would you look at that."

And then Alphys moved in between Iji and Mettaton to **protect** him. "NO! Please don't destroy him!"

And then it finally clicked in her as she lowered her Nanogun. "Wait a second… Is this…all an act?"

The scientist seemed a little surprised, but nodded profusely.

"I read that there was a new program Mettaton was going to air in. Is this what this was for?" She only barely noticed Alphys react. "Because if it is, If you hoping I would react predictably, I think I might've gone off the script."

"Y-y-y-y-yeah! That's it!" Alphys was nervous again, but was it from having been exposed, or was it because she was hiding something else? Iji will probably know later. "I'm sorry for lying to you about Mettaton, but monsterkind needed a new show to keep their spirits up, especially in light of the recent alien attack here. I never thought they'd be real."

"I understand." And then Iji had an idea as she snapped her fingers with one free hand. "…Say, what if I went along with the script for now? And maybe an interview, too?"

And then Mettaton decided to speak up once more. "OOOH! AN INTERVIEW? WHAT FOR?"

"Well, I'd like to explain why I'm **really** here, if your surveillance cameras haven't gleaned that out from me yet. Things on the surface…well…let's just say that Barrier aside, you're actually better off than us right now."

"Huh? I don't understand," said Alphys. "I mean, I'm sure the aliens attacked the humans above while they sent some here as well for some reason, but…is it really that bad up there?"

"I'd rather not explain right now."

"WELL, WELL WELL," Mettaton spoke up again, and then, from its base emerged long black-clad legs ending in pink high-heeled boots. "THAT INTERVIEW SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA! WHERE CAN WE FIT THIS IN, ALPHYS?"

The scientist turned to face Mettaton, then to Iji, then to Mettaton again. "Umm…well…why don't we all talk together for this one?"

* * *

 

For the next hour, Iji, Alphys, and Mettaton talked about how the quiz show program was going to go over instant noodles from Alphys's fridge (with Nice Creams and a box of raisins for dessert from Iji's inventory); the other parts the non-humans thought can go as planned and be adapted to whatever Iji does. Alphys also upgraded Iji's Phone (and gave her number), and the two females worked together on it, with the human helping by using her Nanofield's functions so that she can access its functions without pulling it up all the time (hanging out with Yukabacera helped her be knowledgeable in its intricate functions, though still not as well as him). Iji also promised not to hack Mettaton, which the robot was thankful for, as well as asked for a second Phone for…a friend of hers, which she planned on giving to Ansaksie later.

The upgraded Phone certainly looked more modern like the latest models (with keyboards) before smartphones with their touchscreens became a thing. It came with texting, a storage system (which incidentally led to the items in the storage boxes Iji had been using since Snowdin Forest), a **second** storage system, and connection to the Undernet's social network (which she promptly signed in again as **NanoAnomaly75** , Alphys's was… **ALPHYS** ). Iji hoped Ansaksie knows about social networks and how to register.

Alphys wanted to study the Nanogun and Nanofield, but Iji wasn't willing to part with the former, remembering Dan's promise, and she had no time to be sidetracked and stay for the latter ("Once I meet with the king."). She also did the interview part with Mettaton (including her alien encounters and current situation of humanity), which was recorded for later use. After recording it, he had commented, "WELL, THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING".

The scientist also apologized for lying and that she should've known that an adult like Iji wouldn't be fooled with the farce she and Mettaton were about to pull on her, because it had worked twice before (or was it once?) and they had rehearsed it so much not to ditch the entire script from just one complication such as a competent adult being the 'subject'. The script for Mettaton's show also had to be modified to fit into Iji's pronounced intentions.

Iji also asked the scientist about progress with the Barrier, given the Alpha Strike that hit it, about the alien SOULs they surely have collected, and the whereabouts of assistant scientists/interns. Alphys answered the following questions in order: 1 & 3) She has **all** her interns examining the Barrier for weaknesses and current 'integrity', and 2) Asgore was able to determine early on (somehow, probably after fighting them off when they attacked) that Tasen and Komato SOULs cannot be used in conjunction with human SOULs and even if enough of the alien SOULs were collected, the Barrier was made by humans and so can only be destroyed by human SOULs.

Iji was still determined to try and destroy it by force, though, and was confused why the alien SOULs couldn't work; they **were** from Earth/Origin just like humans, and suggested to Alphys to gather all the Tasen and Komato SOULs and bring them to the Barrier after the show; surely enough of them had died to equate or exceed the power of seven Human SOULs, even if the Human SOULs they already have aren't used in conjunction.

After arranging all that, and getting a package of Instant Noodles from Alphys, the three positioned themselves at the spot where they first met, intending to take this from the top, as the the whole game show performance prior wasn't really live; just a test run. The first part has already been recorded for use in the program.

"READY, EVERYONE?" Mettaton said.

"Ready." Both women replied.

"ACTION!"

Things went as they usually did before Iji shot Mettaton's leg, but this time she didn't do that, and her Nanogun was holstered. Instead, with her new Phone integrated with her Nanofield, she Checked him. Mettaton. his metal body renders him invulnerable to attack. …Most attacks, anyway.

"LET'S START WITH AN EASY ONE!" Mettaton said before putting away his microphone and taking out a cue card. "What's the prize for answering correctly?" Words then appeared in front of Iji beside a single letter, each representing a choice in a quiz shoe. They read as follows:

  1. A) Money
  2. B) Mercy
  3. C) New car
  4. D) More questions



Four boxes representing the choices then appeared around Iji, waiting for her hand to touch them. There was also a counter right in front of her, representing a countdown timer. If she doesn't answer in time or answers incorrectly, Mettaton will zap her with magic. Given that they were going with the script this time, Iji knew all but a few of the answers, though she liked to try and pretended like she didn't. But for now, she moved her hand to 'D'.

"RIGHT! SOUNDS LIKE YOU GET IT! HERE'S YOUR TERRIFIC PRIZE! What's the king's full name?"

  1. A) Lord Fluffybuns
  2. B) Fuzzy Pushover
  3. C) Asgore Dreemurr
  4. D) Dr. Friendship



_Heheh. Dr. Friendship. Never heard that one before,_ thought Iji as she hovered her hand onto 'C'.

"CORRECT! WHAT A TERRIFIC ANSWER! ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET'S TALK ABOUT ME! What are robots made of?"

  1. A) Hopes & Dreams
  2. B) Metal &Magic
  3. C) Snips & Snails
  4. D) Sugar & Spice



She immediately selected 'B'.

"TOO EASY FOR YOU, HUH? HERE'S ANOTHER EASY ONE FOR YOU!" But it actually wasn't, and he was speaking very quickly, but Iji was able to keep up. "Two trains, Train A and Train B simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7 mph towards Station B and Train B is moving at 253.5 mph towards Station A. If both trains departed at 10:00 AM and it is now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other?"

  1. A) 31.054 minutes
  2. B) 16.232 minutes
  3. C) 32.049 minutes
  4. D) 32.058 minutes



She began to think fast too, even though she's already been told the answer. _252.5 miles between the two stations. Train A moves at 124.7 mph, so 60 minutes for every 124.7 miles, 2.078 miles a minute, means it takes 121.492 minutes for Train A to reach Station B. Train B moves at 253.5 mph, so 60 minutes for every 253.5 miles, 4.225 miles a minute, means it'll take 59.763 minutes for Train B to reach Station A._

_Next. (X,Y) graph, Y is distance, X is time. Station A location (0,0), Station B location (0, 252.5). Train A end at (121.492,252.5), and Train B end at (59.763,0)._

_For Train B, (0, 252.5) and (59.763, 0) are the two points, so equation is ?X + ?Y = 59.763. Determine Y's coefficient. ?(0) + ?(252.5) = 59.763, so ? * 252.5 = 59.763, so ? = 59.763 / 252.5, means coefficient is 0.236. Determine X's coefficient. ?(59.763) + ?(0) = 59.763, so ?(59.763) = 59.763. Makes X's coefficient 1. So Train B's equation is X + 0.237Y = 59.763._

_For Train A, (0,0) and (121.492,252.5) are the two points, so equation is ?X - ?Y = 0, which is also ?X = ?Y. Use end time and distance for Train A, so (?)121.492 = (?)252.5. Need X to be 1, so equation will be 121.492 = (?)252.5, so 121.492 / 252.5 = ?. Y's coefficient will be 0.481, therefore Train B's equation is X - 0.481Y = 0._

_Train equations are therefore X + 0.237Y = 59.763 and X - 0.481Y = 0. Y easier to determine, so remove X, and get 0.718Y = 59.763. Y is therefore 59.763 / 0.718, which is 83.254. Now with Y, determine X using X - 0.481Y = 0, or X = 0.481Y . That means X = 0.481 * 83.254, which is 40.058._

_Meeting point of two equations therefore (40.058, 83.254), means trains pass each other 83.254 miles from Station A 40.058 minutes from when they depart at 10:00 AM. 10:08 in the equation, so subtract 8 minutes and get 32.058 as the answer._ (2) As soon as concluded her calculations, Iji moved her hand over to 'D' with a second to spare.

"WONDERFUL! I'M ASTOUNDED, FOLKS! DON'T COUNT ON YOUR VICTORY… How many flies are in this jar?" Moving over to the hole where he emerged, he procured a jar with flies in it and set it on the floor between himself and the contestant.

  1. A) 54
  2. B) 53
  3. C) 55
  4. D) 52



Now this was a problem. Counting a large number of moving objects was extremely difficult even for Iji to do. Luckily, she has the answers she was told to fall back to, not to mention Alphys forming letters with her hands, but she didn't need to look there. For the sake of the viewers, she decided to pretend to ponder on the answer. Once it was 9 seconds left on her clock, she chose 'A'.

"CORRECT! YOU'RE SO LUCKY TODAY! LET'S PLAY A MEMORY GAME!" After taking away the jar of flies, Mettaton then produced a holographic image. "What monster is this?"

  1. A) Froggit
  2. B) Whimsun
  3. C) Moldsmal
  4. D) Mettaton



The image was of half a Froggit's face, but given how self-centered Mettaton made himself to be, this was likely a trick question, so she answered 'D'.

And she was right; the hologram zoomed out to reveal Mettaton wearing a T-shirt with a Froggit's face on it. "I'M SO FLATTERED YOU REMEMBERED! BUT CAN YOU GET THIS ONE? Would you smooch a ghost?"

  1. A) Heck Yeah
  2. B) Heck Yeah
  3. C) Heck Yeah
  4. D) Heck Yeah



A little confused with this, and since her timer is going **up** instead of down, Iji decided it was safe to pick one at random.

"GREAT ANSWER! I LOVE IT! HERE'S A SIMPLE ONE. How many letters in the name Mettaton nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…"

  1. A) 11
  2. B) 6
  3. C) 8
  4. D) 10



As Mettaton droned on, the numbers also began to rise from their current value. Thankfully, like with the jar of flies, she was already told the answer, and chose 'C'.

"OF COURSE THAT WAS EASY FOR YOU! TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIG GUNS! In the dating simulation video game _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ , what is Mew Mew's favorite food?"

Iji gulped. _Crap, I haven't seen that animé! I was about to before my dad took me to his workplace, and than that fateful day happened._

Before the robot could produce the usual however, Alphys raised her hand. "OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE! IT'S SNAIL ICE CREAM!"

The human made a face. _Eww! Snail ice cream?!_

"IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH! AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS! BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL message about friendship and…" Alphys slowed to a stop as Mettaton turned to face her.

"ALPHYS. ALPHYS. ALPHYS. YOU AREN'T HELPING OUR CONTESTANT, ARE YOU?" The scientist shook her head in denial, but that was just part of the script. "OOOOOH! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. I'LL ASK A QUESTION…" She then put her hands to her mouth. "YOU'LL BE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO! Who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?"

  1. A) Undyne
  2. B) Asgore
  3. C) The human
  4. D) Don't know



_Wait, this wasn't the question Mettaton was supposed to ask me_ , Iji thought as Alphys tried to plead her not to answer. Also, her timer wasn't moving. _Hmm…Undyne sure has talked about Alphys a lot._ While the two were of the same gender, Iji had no issues with such couples. She remembered reading Tasen logbooks of one Wak Torma worrying for Maeja's safety, and with the exception of Yukabacera, all Tasen Soldiers Iji had encountered were female.

And so she answered 'A', much to Alphys' embarrassment as she covered her blushing face. "SEE, ALPHYS? I TOLD YOU IT WAS OBVIOUS. EVEN THE HUMAN FIGURED IT OUT. YES, SHE SCRAWLS HER NAME IN THE MARGINS OF HER NOTES. SHE NAMES PROGRAMMING VARIABLES AFTER HER. SHE EVEN WRITES STORIES OF THEM TOGETHER SHARING A DOMESTIC LIFE. PROBABILITY OF CRUSH: 101 PERCENT. MARGIN OF ERROR, ONE PERCENT.

"WELL. WELL. WELL. WITH DR. ALPHYS HELPING YOU, THIS SHOW HAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION! WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS! BUT. BUT! THIS WAS JUST THE PILOT EPISODE! NEXT UP, MORE DRAMA! MORE ROMANCE! MORE BLOODSHED! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS…!" With that, Mettaton retracted all four of his limbs to his body, then his base began to expunge fire and he took off like a rocket. The Lab happens to have an opening that revealed itself to allow him to exit through it before closing again. Also, Iji's SOUL faded after that, because the 'battle' was over.

"…Well that was certainly something." Alphys said after a few moments. "…I'm going to the bathroom. See you later, Iji." She then made for it, opening before going in, and closing it behind her.

This made the human a tad suspicious. Monsters don't defecate since monster food doesn't create waste material; Alphys must be hiding something big, but Iji won't pry for now. And she didn't seem dirty enough to have to bathe.

Before leaving however, Iji decided to look around some more. She's already visited it while discussing with Alphys and Mettaton, but she decided to visit there again by taking the conveyer belt leading up to the second floor, which led to the scientist's quarters. There, the first thing she really saw were the bookshelves, which had very dusty scientific books, books labeled Human History (which are various manga, but none that are mainstream), and VHS tapes and DVDs of various animé. _Is this what Alphys has "deduced" of our kind? Then again, she's found them all from the garbage dump, and hardly anybody dumps important books down the river._

Aside from the conveyer belt that'll take her all the way across the room, further to the left was a strange machine dripping pink goop and processing tall grass from Waterfall…for some reason. Behind it is a tool rack holding two wrenches, two hammers, and one carpenter's saw. Left of that was a dusty table with a chainsaw, hand drill, and blueprints (presumably) for Mettaton. Behind it was a portrait of _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ 's protagonist.

The next item on the left was a wardrobe of of dirty lab coats…and a single clean black dress with white polka dots. After that was a desk with a lamp with pink fish on the lampshade and the lack of a light bulb and a stack of letters from many monsters. Froggit, Snowy (Snowdrake), Doggo… and all of them unopened. And the last item before reaching the conveyer belt back down was a blue box that was actually a folded-up bed, behind it a poster of the _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ title screen.

And right opposite the conveyer belt back to the first floor was a promo poster for Mettaton's TV premiere. On the flap on the top right corner, it said 'Thank you for making my dreams come true'.

With everything explored, Iji went back to the first floor. But then she remembered something.

First, she exited the Lab the way she came in, went all the way to the dark room with the crystals, and contacted Ansaksie with the communicator program in her Nanofield. The Komato Assassin teleported in in an instant.

"I'm here, Iji."

The human handed over the second Phone. "Here." After explaining the phone's functions (including Nanofield compatibility) as well as signing in Ansaksie to the social network (the Komato chose the username **TDZCora42** , Tadezocora being the Komato home planet) and adding each other as Friends, she added. "The Phone also has access to two Dimensional Boxes, just like this one, so if either of us were to put an item in those boxes, the other can use it. For some reason, though, the Boxes cannot be accessed when you're in a battle against a monster, which happens when your SOUL is glowing; you'll have to place them in your Phone's own inventory."

Ansaksie nodded. "I see. Thanks."

"Speaking of SOULs, I was wondering…what did your SOUL look like when you faced a monster in battle? Mine was a red heart shape."

"Oh, so that's why a purple circle shape appears on my chest whenever they try to attack me."

"I see. Well, just letting you know that Dr. Alphys and Mettaton have arranged a show and I'm the "unwitting" star. I'm telling you so that you don't end up accidentally crashing it."

"All right. There's something else I should tell you. I think Sans is on to me. You may have to come up with a good explanation for my presence soon."

"Well, I've at least mentioned you to Undyne, but not about you being here in the Underground, and Alphys and Mettaton know too."

"I see. I'll make sure to stay out of their sight. Well, I gotta go, try and keep Sans off of me as long as possible. I'll be watching." After a wave goodbye, Ansaksie teleported away.

"Bye…" And with that, after sending a friend request to StrongFish91 (which was actually Undyne's username), Iji…went back to Gerson's to purchase food for Ansaksie, and then took the boat back to Snowdin to get some Bisicles from the shop there before finally returning to Hotland to re-enter the Lab and exit it from the other side. Oh, and she wrote a note and put it in the Dimensional Box A to ask Ansaksie to not touch the stuff in it.

* * *

 

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, [Empty], [Empty]

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, Sea Tea

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

[Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty] [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Iji found herself at a narrow path with a sharp left turn. Before she could take a few steps out, she received a notification.

" **ALPHYS updated status.** just realized i didn't watch undyne fight the human v.v"

And then just before the corner, another notification appeared.

" **ALPHYS updated status.** well i know she's unbeatable i'll ask her abt it later ^.^"

And not a few steps after that, yet another notification appeared.

" **ALPHYS updated status.** for now i gotta call up the human and guide them. =^.^="

" **Strongfish91 has accepted your friend request.** "

 _Oh, so this is like Twitter. And nice that Undyne has accepted._ Iji decided to put a status update of her own. " **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** Undyne was strong, Alphys. But not enough to handle Hotland's heat with her armor. Don't worry. ;) She's all right. I took her home. Call her just in case."

" **TDZCora42 updated status.** What does that symbol - the ;) - mean? I'm not familiar with that custom."

 _Looks like Ansaksie is using the social network, too._ " **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** Those are emoticons. They're mean to represent facial expressions like a smile :) or a frown :( ."

" **TDZCora42 updated status.** I see. Perhaps you could tell me all about these emoticons."

Around this time, Iji has found herself in front of two conveyer belts going in opposite directions. Pipes ejecting green flames marked the entrance/exit. And a monster was strolling against the left belt leading further in.

She identified the monster as a Vulkin, which resembled a volcano, with the conical structure that is a common characteristic of such lava-erupting landforms. Lava can be seen leaking from its crown, and little puffs of smoke can be seen spewing out steadily. Its had its eyes closed, and a permanent blush was on its smiling face.

_Right. The first thing I'll have to arrange terms on concerns these fellows._

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** I'll talk later. About to run into a monster. Can't use the social network while doing so."

With that, Iji went to the left conveyer belt and ran into the Vulkin as it made a smoke hoop and it jumped over it, prompting her SOUL to glow.

Upon noticing Iji, Vulkin turned around and said, "Thunder! Helpful speed up!" From its crater emerged a smiling cloud that fired bolts at a wide angle toward her, the bolts separating more the farther they travel. After she got hit by one bolt, not only did it actually feel like electricity, it seemed to speed her up somehow, making evading the other bolts a little harder.

Once that was done, Iji went closer to Vulkin, knelt down to its level as soon as the two reached the end of the conveyer belt, and said, "Vulkin, I know you think your lava helps, but…while I don't know if that's true for monsters, it's **not** helpful to humans."

Despite not trying to be mean, this seemed to hurt Vulkin greatly as its expression turned extremely lonely. "Ahh… Not… helping? Okay…" And it decided not to attack.

Feeling bad for Vulkin, Iji decided to give it a hug to cheer it up. Thanks to her Nanofield, the heat it was giving off did not harm her at all. The little volcano smiled again, its eyes turning to heart-shapes somehow.

"Ahh…so…LOVEY!" it said as two columns of lava materialized from two sides and shot fireballs from these that converged onto Iji's position before returning to the lava sides they came from. Vulkin in her arms since she forgot to let go, she dodged all of the attacks.

"If you could spread the word about me and what I said, Vulkin, that would be nice," Iji requested as she put the monster down.

"Yes! Will help! Here!" Vulkin spewed out a pouch of coins from its volcano inside. It seemed to be fireproof, though, and it chucked the pouch on the nearby ground. "See ya!" It then began to waddle off down that path.

Staring at Vulkin's coin pouch, Iji opened her Phone and taught Ansaksie about emoticons as she picked it up, then followed where Vulkin went…which was to yet another pair of conveyer belts, except they both zigzagged like snakes. Just as she reached the middle point between the two pairs of belts…

" **ALPHYS updated status.** gonna call them in a minute! =^.^="

As she reached the belt that would take her forward, Iji 'tweeted', " **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** To TDZCora42: TTYL. Talk to you later. To ALPHYS: Why not call now?"

" **ALPHYS updated status.** later. u have not reached the first puzzle yet. um, who's TDZCora42?"

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** She's the friend I gave the second phone to."

" **ALPHYS updated status.** i see. where is she?"

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** Not telling, sorry. She's…the shy type. I'm her only friend as far as I know."

" **TDZCora42 updated status.** Does the "To" sign indicate who you're talking to?"

Iji finally disembarked the belt and continued northward, which showed several small "islands", glowing lava, and what seemed to be steam vents meant for transport, not that Iji needed those with her Jump upgrades. " **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** To TDZCora42: That's right. Kinda helpful when you're talking with multiple people at once"

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** Normally, I'd use the 'at symbol', which is a lowercase letter 'a' within a circle, but I'm not permitted by this service."

" **ALPHYS updated status.** so i can't be friends with her? v.v"

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** That's up to her, unfortunately, ALPHYS."

Just as she reached the vent though, Iji saw something headed her way.

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** TTYL. Another monster about to battle me. IIRC, I believe it's a Tsunderplane." She cracked a smile. _Ahaha. A "tsundere" plane monster._

Flying towards Iji was what appeared to be a very small (for an airplane) Airbus A340-300 wearing a pink mob cap with thin ribbons on it. Her "face" also sported a faint blush.

"Hmph! Don't get in my way!" the aircraft monster said as another Fight began and Iji's SOUL glowed. Then, despite not having anywhere to hold missiles, Tsunderplane "launched" small planes from its turbines somehow which began flying straight over Iji and dropping bombs at her position.

She did her best to evade their points of impact and the pillars of smoke they produced once she found out they hurt as much as the bombs, and used her Resonance Reflector to repel the attacks; there was no point in hiding that anymore, with Undyne as witness and Alphys and Mettaton knowing through surveillance observing the fight at the crag. So far, only that and the Resonance Detonator have been witnessed, and she only remembered using the Shotgun one on her first Fight in the Ruins to scare off a Forggit and Whimsun and once against the Mad Dummy. No other Nanoweapons have been used, though surveillance (and eyewitnesses) has shown Iji's feats of strength.

While Iji hasn't watched a lot of animé, the Phone suggested—apart from Check—Flirt, and Approach. From what she's watched, she knew that being direct with a tsundere character was unwise, so she decided to approach Tsunderplane as she followed suit, but not too close.

"Eeeeh? H-human…?" Tsunderplane's flight was getting a little jittery as she "launched" more planes straight at Iji, which were bigger this time, and had big green auras surrounding them. Given that green auras always came with benefits, she reached out to these auras without touching the plane attacks themselves. And each time she did, Tsunderplane began to (somehow) blush deeper and deeper. "I-i-it's not like I like you or anything!"

"I'm not asking you to. I just want to continue on without you or others like you trying to hurt me."

Tsunderplane seemed to think on it as she circled Iji like a buzzard. "Okay. But not because you asked or anything!" And then, for some inexplicable reason, she shrunk into the size of a collector's model airplane and flew off. "Baka!" she fired off before disappearing.

With her out of the way, Iji took the path with the vent, but obviously did not use it. Seeing a path leading north, and a path leading south. She decided to take the latter, jumping across the gaps with ease.

* * *

 

The area consisted of a vent switching back and forth between left and right, and conveyer belts looping all the way back to it. There was also a belt leading to it from somewhere further south, but it wasn't possible for Iji to traverse there unless she jumped her way against the belt, and she wasn't willing to risk falling into the lava. A burnt frying pan can also be found to the left, which she immediately went over to pick up and place in her Phone to check it.

According to her Phone, which turns out to have a feature that describes items (an upgrade from Alphys), told her that the Pan heals an extra 4 HP whenever its holder consumes a food item. Given that she doesn't want to fight anyway, Iji decided to take it out and hold onto it, keeping her Nanogun holstered, and made her way back to the previous area and moving northward.

But she was waylaid by another monster. It had a fireball with a smile for a head, had a coil of rope that wound smaller on the way down to its disembodied feet. The compendium file called this one a Pyrope.

The compendium advised turning up the heat to satisfy it, but Iji had no idea where to find a thermostat in the Underground like it suggested.

"Feel the heat," the Pyrope said as he lobbed bombs at her. They were easy to step aside, and the Resonance Reflector got them out of range of her and the Pyrope.

"Say, Pyrope. I don't know how much hotter it can get in **Hotland** with the magma below us, and while I can set your body on fire, I **really, really,** don't want to kill you."

"You can light me up?!" the fire monster said. "Even better! Only thing that'll put me out is too much cold and getting hit."

"So setting you ablaze doesn't count?"

"No, siree!"

"All right." After taking out a lighter, (the type with the long tube, not the tiny type), the Pyrope approached and let itself be set on fire.

"Hot! HOT! Hotter! HOTTER!" he screamed as ropes emerged from behind his body and connect behind him. Well, they stopped short and orange flames manifested between the ends. Pyrope then began to swing and jump like it was a jump rope…and the rope was headed straight to Iji. Knowing monster bodies hurt more when attacking than fire does (and the Nanofield protects against fire), Iji side-stepped so that her SOUL would pass through it.

When she received damage, which burnt like she remembered from so long ago when she scalded herself one time, she realized the "flames" weren't actual fire but looked like a monster's attack. But what did she need to do to not get hurt by those attacks. Body and white attacks damage on contact, blue attacks only damage moving SOULs, …what if orange attacks required something different?

When the Pyrope's 'attack' made its next pass through her, Iji was swinging her body…and her HP didn't decrease. _Maybe moving through these attacks is what I needed to do to get past them unharmed._ She managed to do the same with the next attacks before he finally stopped.

"Nice you're satisfied, but I need to go," she said to the Pyrope. "I'm on Mettaton's show right now, and I don't think he appreciates me being late."

"Right!" said the rope-coil-and-fire amalgam. "Have some Gold for the road!" After handing over a Gold pouch, the Pyrope skipped away, allowing Iji to continue after picking up the Gold.

Upon entering the other path past the steam vents, Iji came to another path that veered to the right, which was barred with orange and blue lasers and consisted of pipes rather than stone, making keeping a steady footing there difficult. Soon after stepping into the room, the Phone rang.

"Hi, Alphys," Iji answered.

"Oh! Um, hi!" She seemed to be surprised.

"Just guessing here, but do the blue lasers work like blue monster attacks?"

"Um, yes."

Iji decided to make a guess from what she learned in her Fight with the Pyrope. "And do the orange ones hurt me only when I stop moving?"

"Um…yes."

"How much moving exactly do I have to do for orange attacks to count me as moving? Will standing and waving my arms count?"

"N-no. It tracks your SOUL's movement, so you'll have to at least be walking for it to count."

"I see. Thanks, Alphys."

"You're welcome. Uhh, bye!"

A few seconds after she hung up, Iji received a message.

" **ALPHYS updated status.** OMG I DID IT! claws haven't shook like that since undyne called me to ask about the weather… v.v"

 _Weather?_ She decided to call the monster in question, then decided not to, connecting the dots: just as Alphys has a crush on Undyne, it may also hold true the other way around.

Setting that aside, Iji walked past the first two lasers, which were orange. She could easily destroy them, but not only was that inappropriate, it wasn't part of the script.

" **ALPHYS updated status.** WAIT THERE'S NO WEATHER DOWN HERE WHY DID SHE CALL ME"

The next few lasers were easy. A simple moving blue laser, another orange, two more moving blues, then another orange. A bit of walking and waiting later, Iji was finally on the other side, where there was a switch ahead. She pressed it, and the lasers behind her stopped, allowing for an easy backtrack.

* * *

 

The next area consisted of the path veering upward before becoming an intersection, with vents to help smaller people across. There was also a message from the social network.

" **ALPHYS posted a picture.** CUte PIC OF ME RIGHT NOW ^.^"

Iji looked at the attached image. It depicted a garbage can with several pink, glittery filters over it. This worried her and she replied back.

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** To ALPHYS: Please don't think of yourself as trash. :("

" **TDZCora42 updated status.** I see you're done with the monster. What does 'IIRC' mean?"

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** Oh, sorry. It means 'if I recall correctly'."

As Iji continued to chat with Ansaksie about abbreviations and emoticons, she glanced ahead of her and saw a large gate that seemed to be specially locked, with two dimly-lit red sets of lights. She them remembered something Toriel said long ago, regarding puzzles. The center vent was also rotating clockwise in four directions.

A call then came from the Phone, interrupting her chat with the Komato.

It was Alphys. "A-A-Alphys here! Th… the northern door will stay locked until you… S-solve the puzzle on the right and left! I… I think you sh-should g-g-go to the right first!"

"What kind of puzzles are they?" Iji replied.

"Oh! They're just shooting puzzles. You have a limited amount of shots. You try and move blocks aside so you can hit the opposing ship. I'm sure you can figure out the rest."

"Okay. Thanks, Alphys. I'll call again if I need your help."

"Thanks! Bye."

Iji then sent, " **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** Sorry. That was ALPHYS on the phone. I got some puzzles to solve. TTYL."

" **TDZCora42 updated status.** Okay. I'm at Waterfall right now. Just saw Undyne heading for the River Person and their transport. No idea where she's going."

Iji traversed to the right path, where she could find two monsters sitting on the ground. One was dragon-esque humanoid with a business suit, and the other was a black wisp-esque humanoid with an undershirt and green pants and was holding a cup of coffee.

More intel on life in the Underground couldn't hurt, so Iji decided to greet them and ask what they're doing there.

"The way to work is blocked, so I had time to catch Mettaton's show on my phone," the dragon-esque monster answered. "The special effects were amazing today! That human almost looked **real**! Of course, an experienced viewer like me knows CGI when they see it…"

She couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"Still, those things she said have me concerned. I hope Mettaton's show is going somewhere with this."

 _So it looks like he's released the interview video._ She turned to the other guy.

"Mettaton?" he guessed she was about to ask, which was incorrect. "Yeah, he's the most popular star in the underground! His fan club probably has at least two… no, **three** dozen members! And that's not even counting me!"

"That few?" Iji commented. "I was certain he had hundreds."

"Those are just casual fans. I'm talking about **real** fanmonsters!"

"…Oookay. I'll leave you two be. I'm just gonna open the door."

"Take your time, gal."

With that, she went to the doorway opposite them leading to the puzzle room…which showed a huge screen depicting white boxes, black boxes, and two arrowheads depicting ships like in _Asteroids_. A joystick and button were also in front of the screen, being the buttons to help solve the puzzle, and to her right was a disembodied fox head with disembodied black shoes.

"The door leading through the area is closed?" he said. "So I tried the puzzle? But I kept running out of ammo, and it kept restarting? And my two co-workers won't help? It's like they don't even wanna go to work?"

Iji realized he wasn't asking, but that his way of speaking just comes off like that, then moved to operate the puzzle. As soon as her hands were on the console, two upside-down symbols appeared next to the ship. _So these depict my ammo. I only have these many shots to solve the puzzle._ Moving the joystick, she moved one of the black boxes out of the way (the white ones stayed in place), then shot once to destroy the other one, and then shot again to destroy the ship, which broke in half. A CONGRATULATIONS! then appeared above the area with the boxes. _Okay. Looks like I took care of that._

"Wow? You solved it?" the fox head was impressed. "I'm impressed? You must be a total nerd?"

"You're welcome," she replied before leaving and then turning to her right. She also noticed that the puzzle room's upside-down heart above its entrance was now lit up. As she made her way to the other puzzle room, she saw that one set of lights on the door was now glowing green. _Progress._

The area ahead was just like the one on the right, except mirrored, had two different monsters (females, judging by their school uniforms [and later voices], one of them a purple-skinned skateboarder, and another a fire one like Grillby but green), and a blue laser. Iji decided to jump over it, and did so with ease, though her phone rang while she was mid-air. Upon landing on the other side, she answered, guessing it was Alphys.

"Alphys! Here!" It was. "Th-that blue laser seems totally impassable! B-b-but!"

Iji decided to cut her off. "Already made it past. Check the cameras if there are any. But please turn off the laser anyway. There are two monsters stuck here."

A few seconds of silence, and the laser was deactivated. "O-oh! All right, then!" And the call ended.

Shrugging it off, she decided to call out to the monster girls. "You're free to go. If you need to get past the closed door, I'll have that open in a moment."

"Finally!" said the green fire girl. "Someone turned off that laser! Now that we're free we can… well, I guess we'll just keep standing here."

"We were hanging out when suddenly, a buncha puzzles reactivated out of nowhere. This is a huge problem… It rules! They've GOTTA cancel school over this! Wait a second… Auuuugh, it's summer vacation!"

Shaking her head, Iji went into the puzzle room. It was the same as before, except there were more blocks in the puzzle, and no disembodied fox head monster. It was a little harder, but nothing she can't handle. She then left the room, and made her way to the door, whose light were now all green. Upon seemingly detecting her presence, it parted and allowed her to pass, which she did.

She was greeted with a small pathway, and a steam vent pointing to the left, as well as three more platforms with more of these vents, and a lime-shaded floor with several large dots further ahead. Iji then decided to notify Alphys.

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** ALPHYS Passed the door with the shooting puzzles."

" **ALPHYS updated status.** good! =^.^= mettaton's up ahead"

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** Thanks for the heads-up."

And then the phone rang with a call. It was from Papyrus.

"I HEARD YOU GOT TO MEET METTATON!"

Another voice came. "Really? Careful, that dude gives me bad vibes."

Iji was a little surprised. That was Undyne. "WH-WHAT? BUT HE'S SO POPULAR…"

"I don't care about people just because they're popular."

"WELL, YOU CAN SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE POPULAR."

"Pssshhht, what!? Popular with WHO?"

"YOU'RE POPULAR WITH ME!"

"Awww… Papyrus, you're popular with me, too."

"AWW, WOWIE! WAIT… DOES THAT MEAN YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME…?"

"Undyne?" Iji inserted. "What are you doing with Papyrus?"

"I decided to check up on him," the piscine monster replied. "And continue teaching him how to cook spaghetti."

She remembered what Ansaksie notified her regarding the captain; if Papyrus is still at Snowdin, Undyne must've taken the River Person's raft to go there. "I see. In case I haven't told you yet, I'm on Mettaton's show right now."

"WOWIE! YOU'RE ON TV?!"

"Wish me luck. I'm clad in yellow-and-blue armor I got from Temmie Village, so you can pick me out. And tell Undyne I'm coming for her if her cooking burns your house down."

"ALL RIGHT! BYE NOW!"

"Wait, what did she just—" Undyne tried to say before the call ended.

Iji then hopped across the platforms to reach the lime floor ahead, taking care to avoid the vents as while she's too heavy to be lifted by them, they're strong enough to screw with her jumps. And then she continued to the 'stage' ahead.

* * *

 

The next area was completely dark, but thankfully there were magical railings to keep anybody from falling over. As was in the script, Alphys called.

"H-hey, it's kind of dark in there, isn't it? Don't worry! I'll hack into the light system and brighten it up!"

The lights went on, and it was revealed that she was now in a kitchen complete with fridge, stove, sink, countertops, and everything that comes with it. One of those countertops had a carton of eggs, a carton of milk, and a bag of flour. Another of these countertops had a microwave, and above that was a cupboard. There was also a faux-window with curtains and a clear blue sky and clouds, and it gave her another pang of sadness; that was the same sky she saw right before the Tasen hit the planet with their Alpha Strike.

"Oh no," moaned Alphys. This was scripted, too.

The countertop opposite the 'window' was the one with the sink, and also had a chopping board, a cleaver, a kitchen knife, a bowl, and (weirdly) a hunk of cheese. And then from a secret hatch on the floor, Mettaton surfaced with a chef's hat.

"OHHH YES! WELCOME, BEAUTIES, TO THE UNDERGROUND'S PREMIER COOKING SHOW!" He paused for a while as the title screen appeared on the audience's TVs. "PRE-HEAT YOUR OVENS, BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL RECIPE FOR YOU TODAY! WE'RE GOING TO BE MAKING…A CAKE! MY LOVELY ASSISTANT HERE WILL GATHER THE INGREDIENTS. EVERYONE GIVE HER A BIG HAND!"

He applauded as confetti fell in front of Iji, some distance away from the countertop, leaving them to fall into the lava way below.

"WE'LL NEED **SUGAR** , **MILK** , AND **EGGS**. GO FOR IT, SWEETHEART!"

Iji promptly did as Mettaton asked, but took her time doing so as was part of the script as he began to advertise two of the appliances onstage.

"OH YES! MTT-BRAND OVENS CAN REACH TEMPERATURES TO NONE-THOUSAND DEGREES! ROASTING! TOASTING! BURNING! CHARRING! YOU'RE EXCITED, AREN'T YOU, DARLING? (TM)"

As he spoke, she picked up the items, realizing they are just props. She also wondered if they somehow had chickens and cows here or some other monster equivalent for them to make food like this.

"MTT-BRAND MICROWAVE! ORIGIN OF THE MTT CHALLENGE! PUT YOUR FOOD IN AND SET THE MICROWAVE ON HIGH FOR FIVE MINUTES… IF YOU CAN STILL RECOGNIZE YOUR MEAL, WE'LL DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK!"

With those ads over, she set all the items down on the countertop Mettaton was at.

"PERFECT! GREAT JOB, BEAUTIFUL! WE'VE GOT ALL OF THE INGREDIENTS WE NEED TO BAKE THE CAKE! MILK… SUGAR… EGGS… OH MY! WAIT A MAGNIFICENT MOMENT! HOW COULD I FORGET! WE'RE MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT!" From below the countertop, he produced a chainsaw. "A **HUMAN SOUL**!"

He then proceeded the inch his way closer to Iji, who just looked at the thing impassively. It was a physical item, and wasn't using magical energy, so her Nanofield _should_ render this useless. She found herself reaching out to it with her hand (which was **not** according to script), and Mettaton responded by raising it out of reach, but acting as if he was just rearing it up, preparing to bring it down.

Suddenly, but expectedly, Mettaton's steely advance was halted by a phone call. "HELLO…? I'M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE." And his faux-annoyance was showing.

"W-wait a second!" It was Alphys. "Couldn't you make a… Couldn't you use a… Couldn't you make a substitution in the recipe?!"

"…A SUBSTITUTION? YOU MEAN, USE A DIFFERENT, NON-HUMAN INGREDIENT? …WHY?"

"Uhh, what if someone's… … Vegan?"

"…VEGAN."

"Uh well I mean—"

"THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA, ALPHYS! ACTUALLY, I HAPPEN TO HAVE AN OPTION RIGHT HERE! MTT-BRAND ALWAYS-CONVENIENT HUMAN-SOUL-FLAVOR-SUBSTITUTE! A CAN OF WHICH… IS JUST OVER THERE ON THAT COUNTER!" To his left, leading further into Hotland, there it indeed was. "WELL, DARLING? WHY DON'T YOU GO GET IT?"

Nodding, Iji immediately broke into a run just as the counter seemed to lower and shake. Just as she managed to grab it, she found it was stuck, and the counter ascended in a fast rate. (4)

"WELL, WELL, WELL," commented Mettaton as he flew up to her level, since she hadn't let go of the can. He also spoke in a low voice. "YOU SEEM TO BE HANGING IN THERE."

"Ha, ha," Iji can't help but reply sardonically. "I wasn't meant to reach the can, was I?"

"OUR LAST STAR WAITED WHEN THEY NOTICED THE COUNTER MOVE. WE DIDN'T ACCOUNT FOR YOUR RUNNING SPEED."

"Well, I'm pretty tall, even for a human my age."

"CONSEQUENCES OF BREAKING THE SCRIPT. BUT ALSO CONSEQUENCES OF FAILING TO ANTICIPATE THIS."

* * *

 

After adjusting the script to account for Iji's actions, Mettaton stopped the counter so Iji can go down it. She also discovered that Alphys had put a jetpack function into her phone just for this cooking show segment. So perhaps she can use this another time. This function wasn't in Ansaksie's phone, though.

Once Mettaton has explained what he needed to explain to the audience before leaving, Iji glanced back to the kitchen to see if there was anything she could take with her…and saw a familiar **something** sink back into the ground.

 _Uh-oh! How long as Flowey been following me for?! Just what is his agenda? Surely he knows what I'm doing. Maybe Ansaksie is right; I will need to kill him for the sake of the peace I wish for monsters, humans, and Tasen. I should tell her about this._ Taking out her phone, she made a call.

"Ansaksie, are you busy?"

"I've managed to evade him for now. I'm telling you he's deceptively powerful, but I think it's offset by his laziness. Be careful around him."

"I see. Do you remember the talking flower you met?"

"Yes?"

"His name is Flowey, and he's very dangerous. He may have to die if peace is to be brokered. Can you help me when that time comes?"

"…Sure thing, Iji. But you better be certain before you do. I only kill when I absolutely need to, and I won't have a dead innocent on my conscience."

"Don't worry, I will. Good luck on evading Sans."

"Mm-hmm." And the call was ended.

With that taken care on, Iji continued onward, leaving the patterned floor and returning to the rocky ground as she made her way to the next area, which comprised of a long path with a view of an ominous structure looming to her left. Another call came and she answered.

"S-see that building in the distance?" It was Alphys.

"Yeah?" Iji replied.

"That's the Core. The source of all power for the underground. In converts geothermal energy into magical electricity, by—"

"No need to explain, I get the gist. This could really help in rebuilding our world."

"Are things really that bad up there? It's still kinda hard to believe."

"Yeah. Ironically, the Barrier that's trapped you all has protected you. But it's long since served its purpose. Time for monsters to rejoin humanity, but not before arranging some terms so that war won't break out again. That's the **last** thing we all need."

"I see. Uhh, anyway, the Core's where we're going to go. In there is an elevator directly to Asgore's castle. And from there, after negotiating with the King, you can go home."

"Thanks, Alphys. Talk to you later." She ended the call as she continued walking, eventually reaching what seemed to be an elevator. But aside from looking like it traverses a pipe, and the usual lift buttons, the sign on top of the elevator read R1.

Iji pushed one of the elevator buttons and it opened immediately. She then saw the buttons inside didn't lead to conventional floors. Right now, while she can see three Left and Right Floors, the only ones currently available were Left Floor 1, Right Floor 1, and Right Floor 2.

She decided to check Left Floor 1 first.

The elevator seemed to move at first like a conventional elevator, but then she felt it move sideways for a bit before resuming its conventional feel and then stopping and opening. She found herself facing the other side of the place the two Hotland royal guards used to block off. Satisfied with what she saw, she returned inside and selected Right Floor 2.

* * *

 

Upon exiting the door, she found a pathway to her right and to the left a dead end with a small flame monster.

"Heh," it said. "I'm Heats Flamesman. Remember my name!"

"You certain there are no others like you in Hotland?" Iji asked.

"You'll know when I ask you when we meet again."

"Okay."

And with that, she proceeded to the next area…and found (apart from a Vulkin and one other monster enjoying hotdogs) Sans manning a hotdog stand on his station. And there was _still_ snow on the roof. _Maybe I should tell him about Ansaksie,_ she thought as she bypassed the monster she didn't recognize. She looked like a cyan harpy with a bird head, a pink dress, and was clearly well-endowed compared to Iji or Undyne; Alphys was short and hunched over, so she wouldn't know about her, and Toriel's robes hid quite a lot of her figure.

"I love hot dogs! Hey… Isn't it weird there's **snow** on that guy's roof? …guess he's just too lazy to clean it off."

"Can't be snow," Iji commented. "It should've melted long ago this deep in Hotland." She then reached Sans's station. "Hi, Sans."

"hey buddy, what's up? wanna buy a hot dog? it's 30g."

"Sure." Forking over 30 Gold, she got hers. However, she then found that the 'meat' of the Hot Dog was made of a "water sausage" before putting it inside her Phone.

"thanks, iji. yeah. 'dog. apostrophe-dog. it's short for hot-dog."

"This ain't a hotdog. This is more like a cattail-dog. Please don't scam like this, unless monster like these and don't care."

"guess i can't get anything past you, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. Another thing." She leaned in closer and spoke in a hushed tone. "There's this friend of mine who says you've been following. Might as well let you know, because I don't want you to kill her or out her to the guards."

"who's this friend of yours?"

"Ansaksie, same species as the aliens who attacked this planet, but she's a good guy, or at least has no reason to kill monsters without reason, like being pursued. She's just watching over me just like you say you are over me. Please tell no one of this. I'll vouch for her."

Sans winked in response. "okie, dokie. i'd still like to meet her, though, and see for myself."

"Maybe I can arrange a meeting."

"mtt-resort. it's close to the core."

"All right. See you later."

"later." (5)

"Before I go, can I get your username?"

* * *

 

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hot Dog…?, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, [Empty], [Empty]

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, [Empty]

After getting Sans's user name ( **anonymus** ), Iji continued walking. As she reached a side path to her left, she swore she could barely see a path leading to the right. Taking out the stick, Iji approached where this path might be and prodded it. It was solid enough. She then swept the stick left and right to determine width. It was wide enough for her to cross safely.

Despite the fall should she miss, Iji decided to pass through it, finding it can hold her weight. Eventually, she reached a weird small area flanked with three platforms with cacti. There was also a sign in the middle.

Art Club: Meet here! Next meeting: October 10th 8PM

Iji checked her watch, and saw that it was indeed October 10, and it was a few hours before them. _Whoa. I've been here for only 3 days? The Underground must be smaller than I thought._ She then heard the sound of footsteps.

"Ahhh! I'm late! I'm late! I'm so sorry!"

Immediately turning around. She found a monster rushing right into her. It was a primarily orange dinosaur or kangaroo-esque monster with brown accents, a white bottom, and light brown hair, donned a gray vest and a cowboy hat. He was barely a foot shorter than her, and she was able to brace herself so as not to fall over. It also helped that she had physical armor in addition to her Nanofield.

The monster pulled itself off of her and for some reason a Fight began as indicated by Iji's now-glowing SOUL.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! How clumsy of me… I've bumped into you," he said. "I'm such a klutz. I was just here to find something to draw, and… Oh no, it's ok! It's OK! I'll give you a give to make up for our troubles. Let me look in my vest!"

Before Iji could get a word in edgewise, he had already turned around, his tail swishing at her and glowing blue. She stood still and while it smacked her, it did not damage to her HP. When it glowed orange however, she knew she had to move or she could actually get hurt. But with the sign and the monster (which the Phone called So Sorry and described him as "This creature is definitely in the wrong time and space!") between her, that only left room to sidestep. The tail still smacked harmlessly, but she felt it rude to just leave him, so she stayed in the general vicinity.

"Say, what's your name?" she asked, but So Sorry seemed too preoccupied to hear as he turned to face her.

"Ummm, I couldn't find anything I want to give away." And then he came up with an idea. "Wait, wait!" He then produced an item. "I've got my notebook! I can draw you a picture in it! I'm quite the artist, you know. I'll draw you a **great** picture!" And with that, he turned around again and swished his tail at her again. And again she moved (or not moved) accordingly until he turned around again.

"S…sorry… The drawing didn't come out very well," he said.

"I can't tell if you haven't even shown it to me."

But he wasn't even listening. "Wait! I know the problem! I just have to find a better piece of paper for it!" Once again, he turned around, but this time he was tossing huge crumpled balls of paper her way, and getting hit by one of them actually brought her HP down a bit! She stepped back a bit during this so she can use the Resonance Reflector without hurting So Sorry in the process.

"Could you please watch it?"

Eventually, he turned around again, ignoring what she just said. "None of my papers are good enough to use… IT'S OK! I know what I can do! I'll use my magic pencil! It has to be under some of these papers somewhere!" And then he turned around yet again and began chucking crumpled papers behind him, and always had his back to Iji even as she tried going around him. He seemed to be pretty self-conscious of others seeing his things.

Finally, he produced it as he turned around. "Here! I got it! My magic pencil is amazing! Everything I draw with it looks… **completely real**!" A flash then came from the pencil, and two Loox-shaped doodles materialized between him, leaving him surrounded by them, Iji, and the sign she had been cornered to previously. "Uuuuhhhh, oh no! That's a little too real!"

These "Doodlebogs", as the Phone called them, shot out rings of swirly…things and sent them straight for Iji. There was barely enough room to dodge them, but dodge them she did. And none of their attacks hit So Sorry in the process. Taking advantage of their brief moment of reprieve right after, she approached one of the Doodlebogs and kicked them off of the area and into the depths below. She _did_ have to draw a line to her pacifism somewhere; being constructs, these Doodlebogs can't be more "alive" than Tasen Turrets, Komato Skycrashers, or Sentinel Proxima.

"AHHHHH!" So Sorry continued screaming as the other Doodlebog (named Doodlebog C) attacked faster this time, still managing to avoid hitting its creator in the process. Iji was already onto it and punted it away just like the other one.

"I've messed up. I've really messed up." So Sorry was lamenting. "Oh no. I'll just use a regular pencil! I'll try my best!" He turned his back on her once more as he chucked more crumpled paper _and_ swished his tail. Thankfully, upon hitting the ground, the papers ceased to be attacks that could hurt Iji. By this point, she decided to wait until he was done rambling.

Once again, he turned around. "Are you ready!? I just finished!" He then produced his notebook." "Here's your picture! What do you think!?" It was a red heart shape, just like her SOUL. "It's a representation of your deepest essence… It's great, right!?"

She had to admit it actually was.

"They think my art is terrible," she then heard himself whisper to himself, then he put away his notebook. "Well! I'll leave you with that thought! Goodbye! See you later! Sayonara! Nice knowing ya! Hasta la vista." But he wasn't moving yet. "I should leave."

Getting tired of this, Iji decided to grab him by the shoulder. "Wait."

"Wh-wh-what?!" he yelped.

"I'm not sure if you've watched Mettaton's show or not, but I'm a human, but I also come in peace. Can you please tell your club that? And if you have an account in the UnderNet, can we be friends there?"

* * *

 

After saying goodbye to Samael D. Butterdragon (So Sorry's real name), getting his username ( **SoSorrySamael** ), and telling him he was actually **way too early** to the meeting, after getting back to the main path, Iji decided to make a call.

The called person answered. "Yeah?"

"Hey, Ansaksie. I'm sorry, but I just want you to know that I've notified Sans of you. I didn't want you to end up killing him if he **does** find you, or you dying to him if he's as dangerous as you say he is. I've already vouched for you."

There were a couple of seconds of silence. After a while, she replied. "You must have thought hard on this. Do know that if you are wrong about this, either he will die, or I will die. I hope you've come to terms with that."

"I know. Thank you for hearing me out. I hope it doesn't come to you two meeting."

"I'll do what I can. See you later."

"Bye." And the call ended. After pulling her phone away from her ear, she found the following notifications were up.

" **ALPHYS posted a picture.** dinner with the girlfriend ;)"

The attached image depicted a catgirl figurine next to a bowl of instant noodles.

" **CoolSkeleton95 posted a picture.** ARE WE POSTING HOT "PICS?" HERE IS ME AND MY COOL FRIEND"

The next attached picture was of Papyrus flexing in front of a mirror and wearing sunglasses. Giant muscular biceps were pasted onto his arms, and those were **also** 'wearing' sunglasses.

" **ALPHYS updated status.** LOL, CoolSkeleton95! …that's a joke, right?

" **CoolSkeleton95 updated status.** THE ONLY JOKE HERE IS HOW STRONG MY MUSCLES ARE."

Iji decided to join in on the fun, walked partway back the way she came, accessed the camera function, took a picture of herself (making sure to catch Sans's hot dog station in the background), then sent it before walking forward again.

" **NanoAnomaly75 posted a picture.** Just now in Hotland, Right Floor 2."

" **ALPHYS updated status.** is that snow on that station? 0.o how does that even work?"

" **CoolSkeleton95 updated status.** WHAT? MY BROTHER'S ACTUALLY AT HIS STATION?"

" **StrongFish91 updated status.** What? I thought he only had three stations."

" **CoolSkeleton95 updated status.** NO, HE HAS… AT LEAST FOUR?"

" **StrongFish91 updated status.** Who the heck keeps hiring this guy?"

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** To StrongFish91: No clue. And nice to meet you too, Undyne. Well, GTG. Have to make it to the next place Mettaton's show is taking me."

With that, she pocketed her phone and took the left side path, which led to a dead end, as well as what looked like a small brown-and-pink stained apron.

_This apron and the pan I have belong to yet another child, doesn't it? That makes five. Undyne said six SOULs have been taken already. I wonder what items were the last one's?_

Before she could approach the apron, she received a notification from her phone.

" **NAPSTABLOOK22 has sent you a friend request.** **Accept the request?** " _Oh, it's Napstablook._ Before Iji could move to accept it, it seemed to have already rejected itself.

 _Hmm…_ After sending a friend request herself to Napstablook, she went over to the apron, picked it up, and stored it in her satchel. She had to admit it was a little hard to do so after having had to rearrange it and her Nanogun holster to put on the Temmie Armor, but she managed.

* * *

 

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hot Dog…?, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel Inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook, Stained Apron

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty]

Getting back to the main path, Iji found herself looking at two conveyer belts, and the one leading forward had three switches. And then the Phone rang, which she answered.

"H…hi…! It's Dr. Alphys. This p-puzzle is kinda… um… timing-based. Y-you see those switches over there? Y-you'll have to press all three of them within 3 seconds."

"What's blocking me that requires me to flip those switches?"

"A force field. It's pretty deadly, and it doesn't turn visible until a SOUL gets close, but not close enough. And given that magic attacks go through your Nanofield, I'm not sure if you can bypass it easily."

"I see. Thanks."

"I'll t-try to help you with the rhythm!"

"No need. I think I can handle it."

"O-o-okay." And like that the call was over. Prepping herself to the switch-flipping, Iji made sure the switches were in reach, then marched along the corridor, following Alphys' instructions efficiently. Then, she proceeded to the path that was allegedly blocked and was able to cross it.

* * *

 

The next area was a complex-looking one. It contained seven pillars of steam vents with five floor panels on four of the pillars and the starting position. A conveyer belt heading the other way made for an easy back-track after solving it, but Iji didn't trust the vents to account for her weight, so—after re-evaluatiing how high she can jump—she just decided to bound over the vents and onto the buttons in the center of them. She could also run against the conveyer belt, but she didn't trust her balance; landing her jumps was better.

Alphys didn't call the entire time, though that was because she knew she couldn't lie about the bathroom to Iji, and knew she wouldn't be fooled.

After making it to the other side, Iji continued walking.

Eventually, she found what looked like a microwave on the outside next to a formation of rock with a mouse hole. Upon closer inspection, the microwave was actually a computerized laser-safe protecting a piece of cheese, the edges of which have been melted by the laser.

After scrutinizing the cheese for safe edibility, Iji decided to try and crack the safe, just to make sure she wasn't getting rusty (even after she did help in making her second phone with Alphys). In a few seconds, she got the lasers deactivated, collected the cheese, and—after making extra-sure it was safe—popped it in her mouth to eat it.

She then received some status updates.

" **ALPHYS updated status.** OMG? ppl think Mew Mew 2 is better than Mew Mew 1? LOLLLLL that's a joke right…"

" **ALPHYS updated status.** omg… DONT THEY GET IT RUINS Mew Mew's ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC"

" **ALPHYS updated status.** My Mew Mew 2 Review: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 Is Neither Kissy Nor Cutie. Its Trash. 0 stars"

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** To ALPHYS: I'd like to see it sometime. Including the second so I can see for myself WHY you see it as trash."

" **ALPHYS updated status.** just watch the sequel w/o me, ok? i'll hand the cds over."

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** Okay. Once I break the Barrier."

* * *

 

The next area consisted of a straight path with pipes and scaffolding to her right. Just before she could make it to the right turn ahead—

"Hey! You! Stop!" Iji turned around to see two familiar black armored guards walk over. Upon closer inspection, she could see one was draconic (and named RG 02 by the phone) and one was rabbit-like (and named RG 01). Their 'helmets' also showed their features, with 01's rabbit ears poking out, and 02's having draconic fins on the sides of his head.

 _Right. These two are still under Undyne's standing orders._ "Anything I can help you with, officers?" Iji asked, hoping they would have no comment about her holstered Nanogun.

"We've like received an anonymous tip about a human wearing a striped shirt. They told us they were wandering around Hotland right now… I know, sounds scary, huh? Well, just stay chill. We'll bring you someplace safe, OK?"

"Actually, I'm on my way to the area ahead. I'm on Mettaton's show now. May I be escorted there instead?"

Rather than answer, 01 tapped 02 on the shoulder and pointed at Iji.

"Huh? What is it, bro?" asked 01. "The shirt they're wearing? …like, what about it?" 02 just pointed again. "Oh, under the armor?" 02 nodded.

Iji checked to see if the stripe was possibly visible, but it wasn't. The armor actually did cover her torso completely.

_Wait, does 02 have x-ray vision or something? If that's true… oh, that pervert!_

"…Bro… Are you thinkin… What I'm thinkin?" 01 turned to look at Iji again. "Bummer. this is, like… Mega embarrassing. We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff."

And then her SOUL began to glow; it was time for another fight, and the guards drew their sabers. She tried to calm herself down; retaliation for (potential) perverse actions wouldn't do her (or them) any good. Her Phone's Check advice was to whisper to their ears or polish their armor. _How is this supposed to help me?_

"Like, team attack!" said 01.

"…team attack." said 02 as they charged and swung their sabers down on Iji, who blocked both blades with the pan. Surprisingly, it held, though she would find out after the entire business with the Underground that the Nanofield not only covers clothing, but items like weapons as well; it's just that prior to entering the Underground, the only weapon she held after her conversion into a cyborg was her Nanogun.

The two broke off and swung again, this time attempting to catch her from both sides. Seeing the blades imbued with magical energy, she knew that trying to bare-hand block them would just result in her getting hurt, so she weaved to evade one and blocked the other with the pan. Brief memories of a Disney film flashed in her mind before she concentrated once more.

In the middle of evading and blocking sword swings, Iji's free hand brushed against 02's armor and came away with some kind of dirt on it. Remembering she read on cooling dirt being used by Hotland Royal Guards on the UnderNet, Iji began wiping that dirt off as she and the guards fought. ("Like, perish and stuff." "…getting…warmer.") 01's armor didn't have this dirt for some reason. Hopefully, 02 would get too sweaty, perhaps pass out, and she and 01 would have to carry him somewhere cool and she's be able to convince them to spare her.

Eventually…

"…can't…take it." 02 began to complain as he and 01 put some distance between them and Iji. " …armor…too…HOT!" After tinkering with some of the joints in the armor, 02 took his breastplate off. "…much better."

Iji found her face feeling flushed at the sight of 02's large muscular torso. And the scales added to the sex factor. And then she found 01 feeling the same way, with the sweat drops coming out of his helmet, as well as his obvious body language. … _Oh…_

Recovering from her hormonal urges first, Iji turned to 01 and gestured to 02.

"I… I…" 01 stammered before charging at Iji.

"… … what?" 02 asked before following suit.

The change in their attack patterns became very apparent. 01's attacks were becoming erratic as a result of his roiling emotions. After seeing his attacks were failing…

"D-dude… I can't… I can't take this anymore! Not like this!" 01 began to confess as he and 02 stepped away from Iji. "Like, 02! I like… I like, LIKE you, bro! The way you fight… The way you talk… I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, bouncing and waving our weapons in sync… 02… I, like, want to stay like this forever…

"… …." 02 seemed to be silent.

"Uh… I mean, uh… Whew, bro! That human put me, uh, under mind control! What was I just saying? It's a blur dude! Whoops!"

"I **so** did not do that," Iji deadpanned. "I'd do much more if I did."

"…01." 02 asked, ignoring the comment.

"Y-Yeah, bro?"

"… do you want to…get some ice cream…after this?"

"Sure dude! Haha!"

"02?" Iji inserted.

This broke them out of their conversation. "Hm?" said the draconic guard.

"How are you sure I have a striped shirt under the Temmie Armor?"

"I…can see through things. Helps find…illegal things."

"Did you…look further in?"

"…no. I've no interest in human girls."

 _He did not look_ **_there_ ** _, he did not look_ **_there_ ** _, your voice is identifiably feminine._

"Well, see ya later!" said 01. "Maybe we'll kill you later and stuff."

"Actually, Undyne doesn't want me dead anymore, but she knew if she said that you'd assume she was under mind control."

"…Yeah. We'd, like, totally think that."

"Why don't you head over to Snowdin and ask her personally?"

"We're…not allowed to leave our posts," explained 02. "As Hotland guards, we can only stay in Hotland until out shift ends."

"That's a bummer. Unless you have Undyne's number, I can't explain my case. Perhaps you'd like to come with me as guest stars for Mettaton's show?"

"Hmm…"

* * *

 

Now accompanied with two escorts as far as the rest of the Underground is concerned, after reapplying the cooling dirt on 02's armor and putting it back on, Iji proceeded further along the path, looking briefly at Alphys' posts in her phone before continuing on as it U-turned all the way to a dark area, just like before the kitchen segments.

"It's, like, dark in here." commented 01 as he held 02's hand as they walked behind Iji.

And then the Phone rang. To their credit, neither of them jumped in panic as the human took it out and answered it.

"Okay, I'm here!" said Alphys. "A-another dark room, huh? Don't worry! M-my hacking skills have got things covered!"

When the lights turned on, the three found themselves in a series of ground patches bridged by sets of pipes and green scaffolding. A wide conveyer belt, two steam vents, and a set of security lasers littered the area as well.

To her left was a platform with four rows of three rocks each, and nex to a huge pipe was a pink bomb with a timer.

Above and to their right was a set of cardboard props, with a small hole in the middle as if to focus on her. If she were to guess, perhaps it was to emulate a figure on TV in front of a camera.

In their immediate area was a white dog (the same one from other times before?), a basketball, a glass of water, a binder with plenty of pages, a video game case, and a gift box. This reeked of suspicion. It was also the scripted scenario, though they probably didn't plan for her unexpected escorts.

"Are you serious?" Alphys then whispered, "Keep it on speaker."

"OHHHHHH YESSS!" came Mettaton's voice from the other side of the cardboard, out of view. "GOOD EVENING, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES! THIS IS METTATON, REPORTING LIVE FROM MTT NEWS! AN INTERESTING SITUATION HAS ARISEN IN EASTERN HOTLAND!"

"Keep calm, guys," Iji warned 01 and 02. "This is all just part of the show."

"FORTUNATELY, OUR CORRESPONDENT IS OUT THERE, REPORTING LIVE! AND SHE SEEMS TO HAVE FOUND HERSELF IN CUSTODY! HOTLAND ROYAL GUARDS 01 AND 02 ARE ON THE SCENE! BUT NEWS IS NEWS! BRAVE CORRESPONDENT! PLEASE FIND SOMETHING NEWSWORTHY TO REPORT! OUR TEN WONDERFUL VIEWERS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!"

"Only ten?" she wondered out loud. _Right. The attack. Perhaps there aren't that many TVs._ Shrugging, she said, "Let's check everything before we decide." As Iji went for the basketball, 01 went for the script while 02 went for the dog to pet it. The cardboard seemed to move in accordance to her position.

"BASKETBALL'S A BLAST, ISN'T IT, DARLING?" commented Mettaton. "TOO BAD YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH THESE BALLS. THEY'RE MTT-BRAND FASHION BASKETBALLS. FOR WEARING, NOT PLAYING. YOU CAN'T GET RICH AND FAMOUS LIKE MOI WITHOUT BEAUTIFYING A FEW ORBS."

 _Oh, so these are what Papyrus was wearing during our "date"._ Iji then went for the glass of water.

"OH MY! …IT'S A COMPLETELY NONDESCRIPT GLASS OF WATER. BUT ANYTHING CAN MAKE A GREAT STORY WITH ENOUGH SPIN!"

Iji bent down to sniff at it…and found a distinct scent. It was like bananas, but it gave her a little headache. _Nitroglycerin? Bombs._ She then stood up, "accidentally" tipping the glass over the edge, and then looking over to see it fall into the lava below…and explode long before reaching the molten rock.

"WELL, LOOKS LIKE THAT GLASS OF WATER WAS **SO UNINTERESTING** SHE PRACTICALLY THREW IT AWAY! WELL, THAT'S JOURNALISM, FOLKS!"

Ignoring that and bypassing 01 as he perused the binder, Iji checked out the video game.

"OHH LA LA! THIS VIDEO GAME YOU FOUND. IS DYNAMITE! THOUGH I DON'T MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN IT UNTIL THREE-FOURTHS IN. BUT I LIKE THAT. APPEARING FROM THE HEAVENS LIKE MANNA, SLAKING THE AUDIENCE'S HUNGER FOR GORGEOUS ROBOTS… OOH! THAT'S METTATON!"

Deciding not to choose this yet, Iji went to the gift box.

"OH MY! IT'S A PRESENT! AND IT'S ADDRESSED TO YOU, DARLING!" Checking the tag, it indeed was signed To: Iji Kataiser "AREN'T YOU JUST BURSTING WITH EXCITEMENT? WHAT COULD BE INSIDE? WELL, NO TIME LIKE THE "PRESENT" TO FIND OUT!"

"I think it's better to keep the folks in suspense," Iji said to herself as she went over to the dog, who was now being belly rubbed by 02.

"WHAT A SENSATIONAL OPPORTUNITY FOR A STORY! I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW: "A DOG EXISTS SOMEWHERE." FRANKLY, I'M BLOWN AWAY."

"Hmm…nah." Iji got up and went for the binder 01 was nearing the middle of.

"OH NO! THAT MOVE SCRIPT! HOW'D? THAT GET THERE? IT'S A SUPER-JUICY SNEAK PREVIEW OF MY LATEST GUARANTEED-NOT-TO-BOMB FILM: METTATON THE MOVIE XXVIII... STARRING METTATON! I'VE HEARD THAT LIKE THE OTHER FILMS... IT CONSISTS MOSTLY OF A SINGLE FOUR-HOUR SHOT OF ROSE PETALS SHOWERING ON MY RECLINING BODY. OOH! BUT THAT'S! NOT CONFIRMED! YOU WOULDN'T—" He faux-coughed. "—SPOIL MY MOVIE FOR EVERYONE WITH A PROMOTIONAL STORY, WOULD YOU?"

 _Hmm. Now this is a juicy story._ "Let's leak this script." She then turned to 01. "Lift it up and show it over there."

"Cool idea, man." 01 did as Iji said, closed the script, and presented it to the cardboard hole.

"ATTENTION, VIEWERS! OUR CORRESPONDENT'S ESCORT HAS FOUND… A MOVIE SCRIPT! OH MY! AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S FOR MY LATEST FILM! LET'S NOT KEEP THEM WAITING! LET'S OPEN IT UP AND GET THE SCOOP!"

01 opened the binder once more…and for some incomprehensible reason, a black round bomb like the one in cartoons appeared. And its fuse was lit, though it wasn't receding.

"OH? WHAT'S THAT INSIDE THE SCRIPT? THAT TICKING SOUND… THAT LIT FUSE… OH! LOOKS LIKE I WAS WRONG ABOUT THE MOVIE! WE DEFINITELY HAVE A BOX OFFICE BOMB ON OUR HANDS! AND IT'S ABOUT TO BLAST YOU TO BITS!"

Immediately panicking, 01 dropped the script off the edge of the platform. Despite the "danger", Iji couldn't help but chortle a bit from the pun.

"DON'T GET TOO EXCITED! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THE REST OF THE ROOM YET!" The cardboard set then began to fall apart as Mettaton has revealed himself to be hovering, his back turned on the three as he addressed a camera Iji couldn't see. "OH MY! IT SEEMS EVERYTHING IN THIS AREA IS ACTUALLY A BOMB!" THe video game case was opened and showed sticks of dynamite. "THAT PRESENT'S A BOMB!"

The gift box opened to show a similar black bomb.

"THAT DOG'S A BOMB!"

Its tail turned into a fuse and 02 reeled back from it and joined 01 and Iji.

"THAT BASKETBALL'S A BOMB!"

The basketball's top flecked off like paint to show its black bomb self underneath, complete with fuse.

"EVEN MY WORDS ARE...!"

Mettaton trailed off and all of a sudden, word shapes came from above and dropped down on the area, creating tiny explosions upon impact. Iji could swear they looked like the very words Mettaton had been saying. (7)

"BRAVE CORRESPONDENT… IF YOU DON'T DEFUSE ALL OF THE BOMBS…" He then gestured to the pink one on the far left. "THIS BIG BOMB WILL BLOW YOU ALL TO SMITHEREENS IN **TWO MINUTES**! THEN YOU WON'T BE REPORTING 'LIVE' ANY LONGER! HOW TERRIBLE! HOW DISTURBING! IF YOU ARE WHO YOU CLAIM YOU ARE, YOU MUST SUCCEED FOR THE SAKE OF OUR HOTLAND GUARDS! OUR NINE VIEWERS ARE GOING TO LOVE WATCHING THIS! GOOD LUCK, DARLING!"

And Mettaton sped off somewhere, before 01 or 02 could ask what they should do, Alphys' voice came up on the phone. "D-don't worry! I installed a bomb-defusing program on your phone! Use the 'defuse option when the bomb is in the DEFUSE ZONE! N-now, go get 'em!"

A plan already in place, Iji handed over the phone to 02. "You heard the doctor. You and 01 go disable the other bombs with this. I'll take care of the big one!"

"A-are you sure?"

"I've learned how to disarm bombs in the military." _Though not ones like this. I wonder if my cracking will work?_ "We're short on time to be arguing!"

"R-right, dude!"

Ignoring the urge to rebut, Iji made her way to the pink bomb and placed her hands on it, willing the nanomachines around her body to do their work. She couldn't explain in words how they worked on non-Tasen and non-Komato security systems (in **those** , it just felt like a mini-game where she should get from Point A to Point B with no backtracking or bumping into blocks). But she could **feel** the nanomachines go through lots of programming stuff and cut them off from the detonation command, and then cut off a lot more to ensure a simple switch won't undo everything. It was still taking quite a long time though, even longer than a Level 10 Tasen/Komato security system.

She ignored the comments Mettaton spouted as he flew by, talking about how 01 and 02's own progress was going, and her own apparent laziness. From what she could pick up, they had managed to defuse the video game, the dog, and the present.

Eventually, just as she believed she finally defused it, Mettaton spoke up.

"OH MY! IT LOOKS LIKE OUR CORRESPONDENT HAD A TRICK UP HER SLEEVE! SOMEHOW, JUST BY TOUCHING THE BOMB FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME, SHE HAS DISARMED IT SUCCESSFULLY. WHAT COULD IT BE?"

Standing up and turning to face Mettaton, Iji decided she could leak a bit for the audience. "All I'll say is that I'm not fully human and that part of me is machine." While it's not like she has a cybernetic limb or anything, she has implants that enhance her strength and jumping ability, as well as the Nanofield; technically, all those machines have since essentially become a part of her.

"A BONA FIDE CYBORG? WHAT A SURPRISE! BUT WHERE ARE THE ROBOT LIMBS?"

" **That** is a secret. You're not getting info on that so easily. But I **will** say my kind stole tech from the aliens that attacked this planet and this place."

"OOH! CURSE YOU, HUMAN! BUT I DON'T CURSE MY EIGHT WONDERFUL VIEWERS FOR TUNING IN! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLING!"

And with that, Mettaton left the scene, and 01 and 02 went over to Iji.

"Wow, man, that was cool," said 02 as he returned Iji's phone to her. "Also, Dr. Alphys wants to talk."

"W-wow… W-we really showed him, huh?" she said, as part of the script, especially since 01 and 02 were present. "H-hey, I know I was kind of weird at first… but I really think I'm getting more… Uh, more… M-more confident about guiding you! S-so don't worry about that b-big d-dumb robot… I-I'll help you protect against him! A-and if it really c-came down to it, we could just t-turn… Um, nevermind. Later!"

Just seconds after that call ended, another one came, this time from Undyne. Iji decided to put this call on speaker. "Yeah! You totally kicked his butt on the news! Stopping the bomb just by touching it was more awesome that it looked! But I bet Alphys was helping you, wasn't she? Oh my god! You guys becoming friends… It's kinda..."

"Captain?" 01 and 02 said.

Iji could only imagine the look on her face when she realized who was present. "01! 02! I saw you guys on the scene, too. What were you doing there?!"

"The human invited us to come along," 01 replied. "Is it true you don't need her dead anymore?"

* * *

 

After spending several minutes clarifying the whole matter about Undyne's clashes and befriending of Iji to the Hotland Royal Guards, the trio continued onward, walking a pathway that turned to the left, and then to the left again as it overlooked the CORE, in which another call came. Iji answered as they walked, and found it was Alphys.

"Umm… Are you w-worried about meeting **Asgore**?"

"No. I'm sure I've faced far more powerful Komato than him."

"I'm pretty sure he'd be able to beat them. He even defeated two of those what you called Annihilators."

"Well, I beat their leader who rode a much stronger suit than those. And just like humans, their defenses aren't determined by their empathy. Your king and I are gonna have a lot of talking in store after I break the Barrier."

"Are you sure your weapon can even break it? If the Barrier can protect even from the Alpha Strike, what makes you think your weapon can do more than that?"

Like before, Iji found an elevator just like the one she used earlier, opened it, and she and the guards entered it.

"I reasoned that after that hit, surely the Barrier is weak enough. Even if it's magic, there's no way it's as tough as it was before. And if it endures all of that…well, I told other people where I am and to look for me in this mountain if I'm not back after a couple of weeks." _I hope the Velocithor can pass through the Barrier even if it can't break it. That'll send Dan and the others coming. I just need to know the Barrier's limits first._ "But if you have anything else you can tell me about the Barrier, then please tell me. " She then gestured for 02 to push the button for Left Floor 3, and he complied.

"All right. Since we've seen it's no use lying to you…the Barrier cannot be crossed with one human SOUL. It…" Alphys sounded like she was really, really hesitant to say it, and even nearing the verge of tears. "It takes one human SOUL **and** one m-m-monster SOUL to do so. But…only Boss Monster SOULs linger after death, and…K-K-King Asgore is the only B-B-Boss Monster we know that still exists. You will…you will have to take his SOUL to cross the Barrier and leave."

Iji knew she couldn't do that. She's here to negotiate peace, and killing their leader would be a completely wrong step. Also, the elevator stopped and the three exited it to find themselves in another area of Hotland, and it seemed to be (relatively) indoors without any lava below. "Didn't I already tell you? I'm here with the explicit mission of brokering peace between our kind. Killing him would be going against that mission, don't you think?"

"R-right! O-o-of course! You wouldn't do that!"

"The king has collected six human SOULs so far, right?" She then heard a jingle notifying her of a status update, but she'll check on that once she's finished with the call."

"Uh-huh."

"Well, I think it was sort of a good thing he didn't do it as soon as he was able to, but I think his Majesty can cross the barrrier with only **one** human SOUL. He doesn't have to go and take one more human SOUL from the other side, I won't ask that of him. Instead, I'll just ask him to take a signalling device I'll give him," She didn't know if flare guns were a thing in the Underground, so she used a different term Alphys could perhaps understand. "Use it once he's outdoors, and then return to the Barrier. My friends are sure to come and we can work something out, meeting just within the boundaries. Of course, this is assuming I fail to break the Barrier." _And Ansaksie and I have to find Flowey first and take him down. He could ruin any chance of peace._

"Wow. You really seemed to have thought this through."

"I did some research in Snowdin's Library. You can't be an ambassador without knowing the other party. Undyne helped provide info as well after I befriended her. But I'll need to reach the king first. I hope to win some favor by participating in this show. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Bye."

Once the call was ended, Iji checked the social network, and it startled her for a bit.

" **TDZCora42 posted a picture.** Guess I'm caught. We'll meet up with you at the resort."

And attached to the notification was a picture. She didn't know where they were aside from it being Hotland, but she knew who was on the picture. It was Sans. His left hand was outstretched, and one of his eyes was glowing blue.

_Oh no. I wonder what Sans'll have to say to me?_

* * *

 A/N: Now that I have my own Amazon Kindle, I apologize that the author's notes won't be visible in the epub or mobi you're downloading. Use FicSave and get the FF dot Net version. It also explains why I'm not using the @ symbol in the 'chat' segments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nightelf37: Dun-dun-DUUUN! Well…for those who truly know Sans for who he is. Or seen spoiler fanart. Oh, and in case you're wondering, Sans posed for that pic after catching her and asked her to send the pic of him to Iji.
> 
> If you remember one tidbit about "If a huge power, equivalent to seven human SOULs, attacks the barrier… It will be destroyed.", if you're wondering how the Tasen Alpha Strike equates to that… well, I'm gonna say it barely reached the required seven. As for the Komato Alpha Strike that was about to hit near the end of Sector X (and does in one ending as of Iji 1.7), it would destroy the Barrier…and the entire Underground beneath it. As for Iji's arsenal attacking it, though, and whether or not the Barrier 'regenerated' after the Tasen Alpha Strike, I'm still debating how that would go.
> 
> Damn FF dot net for not letting me use the "at symbol".
> 
> (1) And it's this one action—not Iji facing Undyne as soon as she saw her—that forces a significant deviation from "the stages of the canon". Besides, on top of Iji's intentions and her actions in Snowdin and Waterfall, there's no way Alphys could continue her plan, and (after hearing of the surface's situation) neither could Mettaton (spoiler:his agenda is separate from his creator's). Alphys' prolonged panic was from realizing there was no way her plan could work on Iji but she was in too deep to stop now. Until…well…
> 
> (2) Yes. I actually did all the math with a calculator. Toby Fox did not put in random numbers in that quiz question. If you can calculate the answer fast enough, you don't even need Alphys' help for it, most people likely will either way. I liked doing this exercise and wanted to show my work, which is why despite the farce being revealed, the three continued on with the show.
> 
> (3) Wow. As of late, I'm allowing other monsters to act first when it's always the player first. In the game, there's only ONE who does this, and I'm not telling who. *coughphotoshopcough*
> 
> (4) Yes, the can is actually stuck to the counter in the game. You only find this out either after coming back or if you're on a true killing spree.
> 
> (5) So, no hotdog stack. Not everything will be explored, just as I skipped the talking rock in the Ruins to demonstrate the Nanofield.
> 
> (6) Yup. Glyde, and now So Sorry. And while all elevator stops have to be available first, I decided to skip that step. And since no one has ever attacked the Doodlebogs (and put it on video), I'm forced to make assumptions.
> 
> (7) That's how I'm going with this 4th-wall break.
> 
> Up next: Iji meets Muffet, Sans and Ansaksie, a gauntlet of mercenaries, and confronts Mettaton himself!
> 
> See ya on Third!


	7. Gauntlet of Guards and Mercs

nightelf37: With so much going on in my life (work-searching, let's plays, errands), I feel like I will have to stop doing these things soon. But I vow to finish **at least this one**. It's the only one of its kind. Promise.

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hot Dog…?, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook, Stained Apron

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, [Empty], [Empty]

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide, monster_compendium, temmie_village_directions, gaster_note, the_undertale, underground_compilation, ask_gerson_about_the_king_later, negotiation_proposal_(draft)

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty]

To linkthetoaoftime: Unfortunately, that will never be seen. I'll only say it involved quite a bit of teleportation, but not that many given Iji essentially asked both of them to go easy on each other.

* * *

It was worrying that Sans might be such a powerful monster, possibly stronger than Undyne, to catch up to a Komato Assassin like Ansaksie **and** either convinced her that he was a friendly and she stopped, somehow forced her to use up so much of her teleport charges she eventually had to stop before she ran out, or somehow outright **prevented** her from teleporting away. But if he was hiding powers similar to Papyrus's and he was stronger than his brother, how would that power stop teleportation? She could believe Undyne's power doing that, but Sans? Then again, there's so little she knew about the skeleton, so there was no point in speculating right now. They'll be waiting for her at MTT Resort, and it's just on the way.

Iji got her thoughts back to the current situation at hand, acquainted herself with the new area, found the only way forward was to the left, and immediately walked that way, Royal Guards 01 and 02 following her. Sans and Ansaksie will have to wait.

They shortly encountered a table with a food stall, a sign, and a monster regretting his decision for some reason.

The food stall was being tended by a spider monster with periwinkle/lavender skin, five eyes, six arms, and two legs. She wore a red outfit with pantaloons at the bottom, buttons in the front, a red ribbon across her chest, as well as two more ribbons in her hair. According to the UnderNet, this was Muffet, who sells pastries and cider…made out of spiders. Then again, some spiders tend to be cannibals, so it sort of makes sense. Iji will have to add a chapter in her proposal specifically for those with unnatural alignments like her (and Vulkin).

"Welcome to our parlor, dearie~" Muffet spoke in a cute alluring voice. "Interested in some spider pastries? All proceeds go to real spiders~ Check out the webs to make a purchase~"

"Miss Muffet?" Iji asked, mentally holding back a chuckle upon recalling a certain nursery rhyme as she also recalled something else. "Would you also happen to know about the Spider Bake Sale in the Ruins beyond the door in Snowdin Forest?"

All five of her eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh~ You've managed to make it in there?"

"I **came from there** , and managed to leave before its guardian closed the doors again."

"I see~ And have you made a purchase there?"

"Yeah. But they don't print receipts, so…" Taking out her phone, she opened her Inventory, then took out the Spider Donut she had all this time. Even she knew not why she does what she does sometimes, like that time in Sector 9 where she blasted herself all the way to the top of an area with an MPFB Devastator, finding the Banana Gun among other things in the process. _I mean, how did I even anticipate this?_

"Have you killed any spiders?"

The human shook her head. "No. They help keep insect the population under control. Worst I do is shoo them away so that they don't get stepped on."

Muffet stared at Iji with four of her eyes, scrutinizing for any deception, and sparing one to glance at the royal guards. And then she smiled.

"Don't worry~ I believe you~," the arachnid-esque monster replied.

"Thank you, Miss Muffet. Might I ask, you seem to be fundraising for something big. I admit I'm curious as to what it is."

"Since you've purchased from our stores, I think I can let you know…later~ Meet me at my lair~ It's just on the way to the CORE~ That **is** where you're going, right?"

"Yes. You watched Mettaton's show?"

"On occasion~ Shouldn't you be on your way? You wouldn't want to be late, would you?"

"I guess not. But…" _I've helped the Nice Cream Guy with his sales twice before. Maybe I can help her too._ "You look like you could use some help in making money. I could offer some free advice, but please don't ignore it out of hand. And if you have flyers, I can distribute them to advertise your…store."

Muffet smiled at that. "I'm listening~"

* * *

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hot Dog…?, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, Spider Ad, Spider Ad

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty]

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** To TDZCora42: I got some ads in the other box. I'll explain to him.

" **NanoAnomaly75 updated status.** To anonymus: Could you two do a small favor for me? Ansaksie will probably have bundles of ads in her Phone. Could you two distribute them? Also, I'd like the ads spread to Snowdin as well if possible.

After a considerable amount of time discussing and giving stern talk-downs to Muffet about her current sale methods, Iji continued on her way, now packing several ads (which Muffet already worked on and Iji revised) in her phone and Dimensional Boxes, with Muffet's spiders handling the rest. She also sent notifications to Ansaksie and Sans. Despite the Komato's current situation, she felt she can trust the skeleton despite the warnings about him that she was given. There was nothing she could do about it now, anyway.

Also, she went and ate her Spider Donut…which was surprisingly palatable. She could swear tasing some trace of chicken and cod, or some form of shrimp. Then again, the food products were made out of spiders, so that made sense.

Just as she, 01, and 02 reached the next area, which comprised of several vents leading to three different areas, one of which was closed, a call came, which she answered.

"Hi, Alphys here!" it came.

"Hey, doc," Iji greeted. "So what's here?"

"This room is like the room we saw before. There are two puzzles to the north and south. You'll have to solve them both to proceed! … A-also… I'd like to say! I don't really… like giving away puzzle solutions. But if you need help, just call me, ok?"

"Don't worry, Alphys. I will."

"Well, I hope you agree with me. About _Mew Mew 2_."

"Like I posted before, I want to judge it for myself."

"Okay. Later."

Determining she should go to the north first, while the guards took the vents, Iji skipped them and jumped across the platforms, though she did wait for 01 and 02 to catch up once she reached the north side before continuing on. The area was generally empty, and the entrance to the puzzle room was the same as ever. But getting in their way were a Tsunderplane and a Vulkin. Upon noticing the Hotland guards accompanying her however, they backed away, but she tossed an ad in the Tsunderplane's direction so she could catch it (she already knew not to get too close to the aircraft monster). 01 gave an ad to Vulkin anyway, though it naturally got incinerated.

Once the human got inside the puzzle room however, upon holding the console, she saw that she only had one "shot" to solve the puzzle in front of her. It was a little difficult, but she solved it. Once she was out, she saw two more humanoid child-sized monsters there. Both wore denim shorts, brown shoes, and striped shirts, and their heads were diamond-shaped with two alternating colors. One had a red cap worn sideways, their shirt had orange-and-purple stripes, and their head was pink-and-black and more like a square turned 45 degrees. The other had no cap, their shirt had blue-and-purple stripes, and their head was light-green-and-black and was shaped like a classical kite.

"Hey, boys," she greeted. "I hope I got your genders right."

"You betcha!" greeted the green one. "We're waiting on Mettaton's next performance. Got any fave Mettaton Moments™?"

Iji made a guess. "As in moments you liked something Mettaton was doing in his show?"

"Well, obviously!" said the other boy monster.

"Well, given that I'm actually a recent subscriber, I'll have to say that my fave Mettaton Moment™ was either when he featured those new legs of his (I heard he used a single wheel before) or when he brought a chainsaw to a cooking show when none of the ingredients were tough enough to need a chainsaw to cut." _I'm probably too tough for it, anyway._

"…You'll get better moments in time," said the green one. "My fave Mettaton Moment™ is when he beats up the **heel-turning villains**! Even if it's during what's supposed to be a quiz show. Oh! And I like when he **tries on all kinds of different fashionable outfits**! Even if it's during what's supposed to be a newscast."

_These feel like hints somehow. But why am I thinking that?_ Iji turned to the pink one. "And yours?"

"My fave Mettaton Moment? Right **when everything looks the baddest, he poses dramatically.** Like when he's on a cooking show and the eggs don't turn out right. But! Then he says! 'Even if you suck at cooking you can always **buy an MTT-brand Glamburger!** ' Then he eats one! Everyone loves it!"

"How does he eat it without a mouth? Unless he can transform or something."

"Uhh… well… Watch the show!"

"Actually, I'm today's guest star."

"Cool! That explains your entourage! Well, better not keep you waiting!"

"Yeah!" added the other boy. "You going against expectations in the cooking show and news report were the latest best thing since Mettaton saved our faces from those mean lizard beasts who came from the ceiling!"And that was yet another reminder of the Komato (and Tasen) attack in the Underground. "But you're getting no spoilers from us!"

"Okay. Guess I'll find out myself."

With that, she jumped the platforms all the way to the south, 01 and 02 following her via the vents.

* * *

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hot Dog…?, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, [Empty]

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, Spider Ad, Spider Ad

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, Spider Ad, Spider Ad

The next are comprised of two conveyer belts, one of them guarded with lasers, and the other has a potted plant next to it. The former led to the puzzle room, and Iji took it. Seeing blue lasers coming her way, and taking into account their velocity and the belt's, she tried to backpedal fast enough to be still by the laser's perspective. But that was an impossible thing to do, she took damage, and she decided "screw it" and hotfooted it to the other side while her SOUL flashed from the recent damage. (1)

Once she made it, as she watched 01 and 02 cross as well—and counter their velocity perfectly so that their SOULs are considered not moving according to the blue lasers, Iji got another call. Once again, it was from Alphys.

"Hey! This um, doesn't have anything to do with you… but… Uhh, hey, would you want to watch a human TV show together? Sometime? It's called, um, _M… Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ …"

"I already gave you my answer. Yes. In fact, before the Alpha Strike, I was going to watch that show. But then that happened, and anime just left my list of priorities."

"R-really!? I'm so sorry! It's just that so good! It's, um, my favorite show! It's all about this human girl named Mew Mew who has cat ears! Which humans don't have! S-so she's all sensitive about them! But like… eventually! She realizes that her ears don't matter! That her friends like her despite the ears! It's really moving! Whoops spoilers."

"Stop right there," Iji interrupted. "No more spoilers, please, or you might say something that'll scare me off."

"O-o-okay. Uhhh, I think you'd really like it! We should watch it! After you get through all this!"

"Maybe after a couple more weeks. I'll still need to arrange terms with King Asgore after I break the Barrier. Peace takes priority."

"R-r-right! Um, see you later."

Once the call was concluded, Iji went to the Puzzle Room, solved it, and went on the other belt to get back before returning to the platforms with vents, where she went to the east side. Once there, after waiting for 01 and 02 to catch up, she went to the closed door, just like the last one that needed Puzzle Rooms solved to unlock. Once the three approached the door, it slowly opened, granting access.

* * *

The next area led to an immediate right turn to an indoors place and a purple floor, and cobwebs were everywhere. As 01 held 02's hand, Iji thought to herself, _I wonder if Is this Muffet's place?_ Filled with determination, she made it through the entrance, ducking as it was too short for her. 01 and 02 did the same as they followed.

Inside, there were a lot more cobwebs and spider threads littering the room. The trio walked forward, avoiding the big webs on the floor. Just as they did, a familiar voice rang out from the shadows.

"Ahuhuhuhu… Did you hear what they just said?"

_Muffet?_ "Miss Muffet? Is that you?" she called back, but there was no response.

A few more steps later, Muffet's voice came again. "They said a human wearing a striped shirt will come through. That armor's not hiding it, dearie. We have eyes everywhere here."

Ahead was an unavoidable bridge made out of spider silk. Knowing that spider silk can be stronger than steel of the same thickness, and the possibility that spider monster silk may be different, Iji tested its weight before finding it. After concluding that it was stiff enough to cross safely, even with the likely weight of the Nanogun, Iji traversed it, though it seemed to be tangled enough to impede her movement speed, though the strength of her legs made this negligible.

"I heard that they hate spiders."

She motioned for 01 and 02 to wait until she's all the way to the other side, and they complied.

"I heard that they love to stomp on them."

Soon, she found herself closer to where Muffet's voice was coming from.

"I heard that they like to tear their legs off."

Eventually, she reached the middle of the "bridge". She thought of lighting a flare, but that would be dangerous to everyone, herself and the spiders. There was also the flashlight, but…

"However…" A web to her left seemed to appear from the shadows, with Muffet hanging on it. And spiders began to surround her, some even dangling on silk strands. 01 and 02 did not visibly react to this. "…I already know that isn't true. Ahuhuhu…After all, you have helped donate to our cause. **And** you offered help in promoting our business venture. All the spiders want you to know how thankful they are! We're in your debt, dearie~" She ended this with a chuckle. "As for what I was fundraising for…you do remember asking be earlier, right?"

"Yes, I do," Iji answered.

"You see, the spiders in the Ruins have been trapped there for generations. Even if they go under the door, Snowdin's fatal cold is impassable alone. But with the money, we'll be able to rent them a heated limo. And with all of the leftovers, We could have a nice vacation, or even build a spider baseball field."

"That's…pretty ambitious, Muffet. But you mentioned leftovers, and I'm thinking…you're planning on taking in something big to get so much Gold at once." Memories of Asha began to surface. "Is it a bounty hunt on me?"

Muffet's five eyes widened in surprise as she then gave a surprisingly honest answer. "Why, yes. You see, someone offered **a lot** of money for a human SOUL like yours."

This made Iji tense up.

"They had such a sweet smile and… Ahuhuhu. It's strange, but I swore I saw them in the shadows… Changing shape…"

_Is it Flowey?_ "Can you describe this individual? Or did they ask for confidentiality?"

"I see no reason not to tell you. The contract was made quite a long time ago, before I was old enough to run my own business. I wanted to get the bounty for what is now the sixth human SOUL, but I was unfortunately beaten to it by the guards."

"But who was the contractor?"

Muffet put one of her hands to her chin as she contemplated. "Ah, yes. I recall that it was Mettaton. I didn't really care about his fame. As long as he doesn't harm spiders for the sake of it, he was fine in my book."

_Guess it's not Flowey. But what does Mettaton have in store for me? Or maybe he and Alphys were planning something different before my actions forced them to change them. I'll have to see if I can ask him in private later. Definitely can't confront Muffet about this directly, though._ "I see."

"But we'll see how your business strategy goes for now. Perhaps I'll watch Mettaton's show after this. See you again, dearie~"

"Bye, Miss Muffet."

And with that, the spiders retreated and Muffet vanished back into darkness. With that over with, Iji made it all the way to the other side, seeing the exit that was also too short for her or the guards. Speaking of them, the moment she stepped off the bridge, 02 had urged 01 to go on ahead while he watched their backs. Once 02 was on the other side, the three crossed the exit.

* * *

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, Spider Ad, [Empty]

The next area consisted of a small hallway with brick walls and a poster to the left. Iji checked out the poster, seeing it as an ad for Mettaton's latest stage performance. A tragic tale of two star-crossed lovers, kept apart by the tides of fate…, so the sign said. And according to the time, it's about to start in a few minutes.

"I have a feeling the stage is up ahead," Iji said as she turned to the guards. "Let's knock 'em dead." She then registered shock and hostility from 01 and 02 respectively. "Figuratively, of course. No one's gonna die here." This made them relax. "All right. Let's go."

The next area comprised of a stage depicting a quiet town in the night, with the moon and stars dangling from wires. Just as the trio made it to the middle, a familiar voice rang out.

"OH? THAT HUMAN…" The three turned to the balcony and stairs in the set (which turn out be be just a ramp) to their left. Mettaton's head, facelights in red, peeked out from it. "COULD IT BE…?" He then showed himself…decked in a blue-ish white dress with sleeves and ribbon, though not many frills. "…MY ONE TRUE LOVE?" His facelights turned yellow as he began to descend the steps on his fancy legs, using his arms to hold the dress up.

_This…feels like an iconic scenario from somewhere else._ "Please. Doth profess their faith for me," she decided to say.

And then he began to sing as he danced around the stage, his facelights red. And it was…quite lovely, actually, despite the lyrics. (3)

Oh my love, please run away  
Monster King…forbids your stay

Humans must…live far apart  
Even if…it breaks my heart

Flower petals began to float down across the stage.

They'll put you…in the dungeon  
It'll suck…and then you'll die a lot

Really sad, you're gonna die  
Cry cry cry, so sad it's happening.

The petals then stopped, so did the song, and a meteor flew in the background, but was likely special effects.

"SO SAD. SO SAD THAT YOU ARE GOING TO THE DUNGEON." He sidestepped away before producing a single-button remote. "WELL, TOODLES!" He then pushed the button…as Iji jumped away from her current spot as a trapdoor opened beneath her just an instant later. Mettaton pressed the button again, and the spot she landed on opened up, dropping her through…except it was small enough for her to catch the sides with her arms. A third press then opened up those panels as well, and she fell for real.

After landing on a rock platform with a bridge ahead, she thought, _Crap! Mettaton must have the entire floor with trap doors so that I'd fall no matter where I was at the end of the song. I'm sure 01 and 02 are okay._

She then looked further ahead and saw a familiar set of colored tiles. _Wait. I think I've seen this before!_ Immediately, as Mettaton hovered down on his thrusters, which did **not** burn his dress, she took out her logbook and accessed the color_tile_puzzle_guide file.

"OH NO! WHATEVER SHALL I DO?" said Mettaton as his "one true love" read her logbook to review on its text. "MY LOVE HAS BEEN CAST AWAY INTO THE DUNGEON. A DUNGEON WITH A PUZZLE SO DASTARDLY, MY PARAMOUR WILL SURELY PERISH!"

_Okay. Rules successfully reviewed! Now for the maze itself._ Iji put away her logbook and turned her attention to the maze to try and formulate her path to the other side.

"O, HEAVENS HAVE MERCY! THE HORRIBLE COLORED TILE MAZE!" Mettaton continued, which she ignored. "EACH COLORED TILE HAS ITS OWN SADISTIC FUNCTION. FOR EXAMPLE, A GREEN TILE SOUNDS A NOISE, AND THEN YOU MUST FIGHT A MONSTER. RED TILES WILL… ACTUALLY, WAIT A SECOND. DIDN'T WE SEE THIS PUZZLE ABOUT A HUNDRED ROOMS AGO?"

She responded with just a nod.

"THAT'S RIGHT. YOU REMEMBER ALL THE RULES, DON'T YOU? GREAT… THEN I WON'T WASTE YOUR TIME REPEATING THEM! OH, AND YOU'D BETTER HURRY. BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T GET THROUGH IN 30 SECONDS…"

Behind her, she could feel a wall of fire form. _Better make this quick. The fire could be magical._

""YOU'LL BE INCINERATED BY THESE JETS OF FIRE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHA… HA… HA! MY POOR LOVE! I'M SO FILLED WITH GRIEF, I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! GOOD LUCK, DARLING!"

Immediately, Iji took off in a sprint as Mettaton began to sing once more.

Oh my love

Making it to the bridge, she traversed it. _Best not risk jumping._

Has fallen down

Once she was on the first tile, she replayed the path in her head as she traversed the puzzle.

Now in tears

_Okay. Pink, green, orange (smell), purple (lemon smell) slide, water, pink, two water—_

We all will drown

_Pink, green, orange (smell), two purple (lemon smell) slide, orange (smell), pink, purple (lemon smell) slide, cross the water—_

Colored tiles

_Pink, orange (smell), pink, orange, green, purple (lemon smell) slide, orange (smell), two pink—_

Make her a fool

_Purple (lemon smell) and slide into the water, pink, orange (smell), purple (lemon smell) and slide into the water—_

If only she

_Pink, purple slide into the water, green, orange (smell), pink—_

Still knew the rules

_Pink, purple (lemon smell) and slide into yellow—_

The electrocution from the yellow tile did nothing to her.

_Back to purple, cross pink, into the water, purple, orange (smell)—_

Well that was

_purple (lemon smell) and slide into orange (smell), purple (lemon smell) and slide into pink, water—_

A sorry try

_Green, and I'm home free._ (4) She began to saunter across the remaining green tiles, finding that the red tiles seem to block her from even laying a hand over them.

Now let's watch

Her fry

Just before the 30 seconds were up, Iji stepped off of the puzzle, and the tiles turned gray as a jingle rang, signifying her success. Though a jet of fire still barred her way further, which comprised of stairs leading upwards to the left.

"CONGRATULATIONS!" commended Mettaton as he flew over to her. "YOU MADE IT THROUGH THE PUZZLE! AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, THE FLAMES WILL BE DEACTIVATED!" And true to his word, the 'fire wall' ( _heheh!_ ) was turned off. "NO! MORE! FIRE! …BUT IT'S AS THE PHRASE GOES. 'OUT OF THE FIRE AND INTO THE FRYING PAN.'"

"Actually, it's the other way around," Iji explained.

"THAT'S RIGHT, DARLING! EVEN IF YOU MANAGE TO BEAT THE HEAT, YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND MY HOT METAL BODY!"

_Shoot! The green tiles! But there's nothing I could do about that._

"PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MY—"

The robot was interrupted by a phone call. Iji put the caller, Alphys, on speaker.

"Great job! We've got him on the ropes, now!" (5)

"Do you really wish to take me on?" Iji added as she one-hand unholstered her Nanogun and aimed it at Mettaton. "Because I got a doctor's appointment waiting right here for you!" _Damn, was that a good one-liner?_

She and Mettaton stood off for a few seconds, her gesturing him to make a move.

The robot was the first to relent. "YOU'RE RIGHT. OUR SHOWDOWN SHOULD TAKE PLACE SOMEWHERE MORE CLIMACTIC! WE SHALL SETTLE THIS AT THE CORE! TRY NOT TO DIE ON THE WAY! WE'LL SEE YOU THERE!"

And with that, he took off, his dress flowing in the wind.

Once he was gone, Alphys spoke up once again. "L-looks like you beat him! Y-you did a really great job out there."

"Uh-huh."

"…umm, h-hey, can you turn the speaker off for a moment?"

She complied before putting the phone next to her ear. It wasn't actually necessary, but it helps tell others that she's busy on the phone. "Sure."

"Thank you. This might sound strange, but…c-can I tell you something?"

"Anything, Alphys."

"T-thanks again. B-before I met you, I d-didn't really… I didn't really like myself very much." This caught Iji's attention; maybe she could use this to help and further befriend Alphys. "For a long time, I f-felt like a total screw-up. L-like I couldn't do a-anything w-without… w-without ending up letting everyone down. B-but…! Guiding you has made me feel… A lot better about myself. So… thanks for letting me help you. And I promise to help in the rebuilding effort. Anyway, we're almost to the CORE. It's just past MTT Resort. Come on! Let's finish this!"

"Hold on. I just realized how late it is now. I plan on going to sleep in a bit. Preferably at the resort, which means—"

"This finale will have to wait until tomorrow?" Alphys finished. "I-I-I guess that makes sense. K-k-keep the viewers in suspense as they anticipate the next episode."

"Yeah. I even warned you two about that, right?"

"O-o-of course! Our scripts aren't too rigid to not account for such things. Good thing we managed to prepare for that inevitability. See you tomorrow!"

And with that, she ended the call, and Iji continued onward.

* * *

The next area consisted of a crossroad, the stairs now behind her, the theater from before to the left, an elevator to the right, and stairs leading upwards ahead to what looked like the MTT Resort. And in the middle was not only the Nice Cream vendor, but 01 and 02 as well as two more royal guards, all treating themselves to Nice Cream. One seemed to be mantis-like judging by her helmet and exposed right forelimb, and the other seemed to be feline for the same reason. And both wore friendship bracelets on their exposed right 'hands'. (6) 01 and 02 acknowledged her presence and greeted her before returning to their Nice Creams.

"Hey! It's you again!" the vendor greeted.

"I see you finally found an ideal place," Iji greeted back.

"Business is excellent here! These four fellas bought ALL my ice cream! I've actually sold out of everything! …sorry. Wait! I've still got something for you! …a big smile! How about that!"

"I hope you know of a place to restock. You could get more GOLD that way and serve a lot more monsters."

"Well, the resort and by extension the elevator to the city is just ahead, so I'm not worried."

"I see." She decided not to ask about the secrets behind the Nice Cream's creation; even he would probably know not to do that. She then turned to 01 and 02. "So, you guys not coming with?" Meanwhile, the other two guards turned to look at Iji, but just continued eating Nice Creams as they watched.

"Perhaps later?" 01 requested. "These Nice Creams are so good."

02 nodded in affirmation.

"Okay. There's someone I'm meeting up ahead. I'll be back for you once I'm done."

"See you later."

"Later," she bid goodbye as she went up the stairs ahead to the next area. _Wow. Either monster guards in general have low acceptance standards…or all the best ones died fighting the Komato. Neither are comforting thoughts._

* * *

In front of Iji was a fancy entrance to a building. The front sign read MTT, and was flanked by two winged Mettatons, and now she was thinking of one of those Biblical angels. (7) An orange-and-white checkered awning stood between the sign and double doors out of glass, which had a rec carpet in front of it, as well as a dropped piece of paper to the right side of its end. Five identical windows flanked the door and filled the side on the second floor. Two bushes were planted between the doors as well. Two alleyways flanked the building (with graffiti on the right side), and two fences like the ones used in cinema and amusement park queues stood on either side of her current position.

And at the left side of the building were Sans and Ansaksie. It was weird seeing the Komato alongside a monster, but it couldn't be helped.

"hey, iji," Sans greeted in a casual manner, though both non-monsters now know his potential. "you had us waiting."

"Yeah," the human replied cautiously. "You managed to convince her? I'm surprised."

"Sans proved…" Ansaksie trailed off as she looked at Sans, and seemed a little intimidated by him somehow. "… **really** convincing."

"i heard you're going to the CORE."

"My next showdown with Mettaton is there, yes."

"how about grabbing dinner first, the three of us? my treat."

Iji turned to their Komato companion, "I sort of forgot to consider it when we first met, but…"

"Monster food can sustain me without side effects, and same goes for human food," Ansaksie replied. "Tried it out myself before deciding to stay on Origin."

"Okay," the human turned to the skeleton. "I guess we can."

"great. over here. i know a shortcut."

Sans led the two females to the left alleyway, after which he _apparently_ did his teleportation magic since both could swear they saw it was a dead end before finding themselves somewhere indoors.

Their new location was primarily purple, with plenty of tables suspiciously looking somewhat like Mettaton, a fork, knife, and candle on each, and the walls had all sorts of things like creeper vines, ficuses, corkboards with papers pinned on them, a TV set, a mini-stage for people to do things like stand-up comedy or karaoke, and so on.

The three were now sitting at a table, and steaks in the shape of Mettaton's face were served alongside what looked like parfaits with star shapes in them.

"well, here we are," Sans started.

"Yes," affirmed Iji. "Here we are."

"so. your journey's almost over, huh?" He began to cut a piece of the meat to eat it. "you must really wanna go home."

"Actually, I'm here to see the king, break the Barrier, and establish peace between our kinds." Iji and Ansaksie were doing the same. "I wanted to tell both you and Papyrus at the same time, but I guess it can't be helped."

"huh. you really think you can do it?"

"With everything I learned about monsterkind, each species and each of their different personalities and mentalities, I plan to. And not on my own, of course. Once the Barrier is broken, King Asgore will be able to meet up with other representatives, and we can all discuss together ways of reintegrating monsterkind. Of course, that can take a long time, but that'll make it worth it."

Sans closed his eye sockets (somehow), then opened them again. "i see. you **really** seemed to have thought this through."

"Oh yeah. Dr. Alphys said that very same thing."

All the while, Ansaksie watched quietly as she ate as well, but her helmet was specially designed to allow for food/drink consumption without the helmet's removal. And Iji was too busy listening and talking to see her face right now.

"say…" Sans paused as he took a bit. It looked strange to see a skeleton to sustain himself like this. "maybe sometimes, it's better to take what's given to you. down here, you've already got food, drink, friends… is what you have to do… really worth it?"

"This is not something I can shirk. This mission is too important to just give up on. There are too many people counting on me."

_So Iji hasn't told him about Origin's situation yet,_ Ansaksie noted. _But she's told Toriel and Undyne, and probably Alphys and Mettaton._

"ah, forget it. sorry for treatin' it lightly." He took his fifth bite. "i'm rootin' for ya, then."

"So you haven't told him yet?" said Ansaksie, one-third done with the steak as she took some of the "Starfait". "You already told Undyne and Toriel."

Now Sans was curious. "told me what?"

"About the situation outside the Underground," Iji replied.

"why not tell me later? there's a story i want to tell first."

"Okay…" said the extraterrestrial among them cautiously.

"so i'm a sentry in snowdin forest, right? i sit out there and watch for humans. it's kind of boring. fortunately, deep in the forest, there's this HUGE locked door. and it's perfect for practicing knock knock jokes."

_A huge locked door?_ Iji noted. _The door to the ruins?_

"so one day, i'm knocking 'em out, like usual. i knock on the door and say 'knock knock.' and suddenly, from the other side… i hear a woman's voice. 'who is there?' so naturally, I respond: 'dishes.' 'dishes who?' 'dishes a very bad joke.' then she just howls with laughter. like it's the best joke she's heard in a hundred years."

She blinked in surprise, and she was sure he saw it. _Sans has been in contact with Toriel?!_

Meanwhile, Ansaksie was coming to the same conclusion as she and Iji continued eating.

"so I keep 'em coming, and she keeps laughing," Sans continued. "she's the best audience i've ever had. then, after a dozen of 'em, **she** knocks and says… 'Knock knock!' i say 'whos there?' 'old lady!' 'old lady who?' 'oh! I did not know you could yodel!' wow. needless to say, this woman was extremely good. we kept telling each other jokes for hours. eventually, i had to leave. papyrus gets kind of cranky without his bedtime story. but she told me to come by again, and so i did. then i did again. and again. it's a thing now. telling bad jokes through the door. it rules."

Sans paused to catch his breath, as well as take another portion of steak and another portion of his Starfait.

"one day, though, i noticed she wasn't laughing very much. i asked her what was up. then she told me something strange. "if a human ever comes through this door…" "could you please, please promise something?" "watch over them, and protect them, will you not?" now, i hate making promises. and this woman, i don't even know her name."

This surprised Iji. _What? Sans doesn't even know her name?_

_"_ but… someone who sincerely likes bad jokes… has an integrity you can't say "no" to." By then, he was finished with his food. "do you get what I'm saying? that promise i made to her… you know what would have happened if she hadn't said anything?" He then closed his eyes. "…buddy." When he opened his eyes again, the white lights within them weren't present as he spoke more slowly. " **…You'd **be dead where you stand**.** "

Immediately, Iji's hand went for her Nanogun in its holster, and Ansaksie readied her blade, both of them prepped to battle Sans right here, though the Komato seemed…unsure of victory for some reason.

Sans attempted to lighten up the mood. "…hey, lighten up, bucko! i'm just joking with you."

"We know you're not," Ansaksie said. "I saw your powers for myself. And I'm sure Iji now knows, too."

"Don't worry about that friend of yours," the human assured. "Her name's Toriel, I've met her, and she's still alive."

"That's right. Toriel was definitely alive when I last saw her."

As the skeleton gave a hard look to determine if what they speak is the truth, the human tried to project her sincerity with her eyes, while the Komato glanced at her companion before attempting to do the same thing. Half a minute passed before Sans finally decided.

"okay. i can always find out later. by the way, you said you wanted to tell me about what's goin' on in the surface?"

And under hushed tones, that's what they did. Ansaksie let Iji choose what to convey while only correlating with her statements. The human covered the basics she already conveyed to the ones she let know. She really hoped to tell this to Papyrus as well, but Sans wanted to keep it a secret, which she wasn't happy about, having been subject to the same thing by her brother. She argued that it's better to let it out right now than let it build up to the point where it could ruin any trust between them, but he replied with the fact that Papyrus is all but a child; he doesn't want him to be broken. Iji countermanded that this secret-keeping cannot go on forever, and that he should at least be told some of the truth, in which Sans **did** relent to; and the two discussed what to tell Papyrus, with Ansaksie supplying other info on occasion as the three long since finished their meals.

Eventually, after coming to a satisfying compromise, the skeleton parted ways with the two non-monsters. "take care of yourselves."

Once he was gone, the two took the time to share information, though Ansaksie didn't provide much that Iji already knew given she was spending much of her time being covert, and later evading Sans before he caught her.

"So, guess we should part ways, then?" Iji asked.

"Actually, given I'm no longer being pursued, perhaps I can accompany you from here on out," suggested Ansaksie.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm running low on teleportation charges. To be honest, I never really had to worry about that back when I was working for the Imperial Army, where I can just acquire some thanks to our Nanotechnology. I have my ways of resupplying it, but I didn't bring them here. I wasn't expecting to take this long, and for some reason, I can't teleport out."

This caught the human's attention. "What?! Dammit, I was hoping you can contact my friends if I can't break the Barrier."

The Komato shrugged her shoulders, a gesture she picked up from humans and monsters. "Sorry. Looks like there's more to the Barrier than we thought."

"Yeah. In addition to preventing any living thing inside its bounds from crossing out of it unless it's a human and monster SOUL combined, and protecting the mountain it's in from a Tasen Alpha Strike, apparently it can stop teleports, too."

"But not our transmissions," added the Komato. "We've heard of the anomalous mountain during the…'final war', though I didn't think much of that before I was called down to…well…"

"Right. Well, let's get moving. But first I got to see if I can gather information. And no offense, but having you with me might affect what they would be willing to say."

"I get it. As a Komato, monsterkind won't forget my kind so easily. Don't worry, I'll wait. Mind if I check your logbook?"

"As much as I appreciate your company, I'm not to the point where I can trust that my stuff will not be tampered without me watching," Iji replied. "There's still plenty about you that I don't know."

"Fair point. I guess I'll wait here."

"Sorry. I'll try and make it up to you."

"That won't be necessary. I chose to stay in Origin, so I'll have to live with the consequences."

"Hey, don't think like that. Once I'm finished with integrating monsterkind, I'll make sure to spend time to help you. I admit I want to help you right now, but my current mission has left me too occupied. I certainly wasn't prepared for you following me."

"Get going," Ansaksie said, impatient with Iji's stalling. "Go get your intel. I can wait."

"Right."

With that, the Human Anomaly got up. Sans had already took care of the things to do after eating. She headed across the restaurant, noting the stuff along the way, like the a TV show featuring Mettaton on the mini-TV, the corkboards showing a performance schedule featuring comedians, dancers, and Sans (though they were currently on break). The Wall of Fame only had quotes and photos from Mettaton.

After ignoring the one that was licking dew from the ficuses (because he didn't want to look like he messed up, which he already is), one of the monsters they passed had an interesting tidbit to say. He was reminiscent (to Iji) of a Japanese Oni, had muscular arms, red skin, a yellowish-white undershirt, green pants and black shows, and mildly impressive black facial hair.

"Originally, we dug mazes with puzzles in order to foil human attacks. But now, building things winding and confusing… It's some awful tradition. You can't go (ugh) two feet without being up to your armpits in puzzles."

The monster sitting across from him was reminiscent of a mole and wore a white hard hat with a green cross. "I work at the CORE," he said. "The inside is a maze made of swappable parts. That means we can shuffle the layout at will. Boy, was today a FUN day! I sure love PUZZLE!"

_Easy intel. Spies will have an easy time. Good thing that's not what I am._ After handing them ads for Muffet's Spider Bake Sale, Iji then proceeded to converse with the Snowdrake-like monster just in front of the mini-stage.

"I'm the resort comedian. I'm very funny. People laugh at my jokes. Now, my son. He wants to be a comedian like his fathah. But his jokes. Aren't funny. He tells this awful puns. He's an embarrassment to our family. Ha ha ha ha… That's not funny."

_Oh, damn. didn't think he (or at least one of the Snowdrakes) was having a hard life. Guess that's how things are in here._

"Since his mothah passed on, he couldn't stand. Living at home anymore. So he ran away. I haven't seen him since. I'm a terrible fathah. Ha ha ha ha… That's not funny."

Iji decided to ask a question this time. "Sir, assuming you live in the city, how were things there after the…earthquake?"

"It was a dreadful time. Only me, and my son. And a few distant cousins survived. Talking to you about this… It's breakin' my heart. Ha ha ha ha… That's not funny."

"I should leave you be. Sorry for dredging up those memories."

"Eh, it's all right. Venting my issues helps sometimes. Ha ha ha ha… That's not funny."

And with that, after handing over an ad, she waved farewell to "Snowdrake Senior" and went back to Ansaksie, who saw that she was done, got up from the table, and joined her fellow non-monster companion as they then left the restaurant, bypassing the huge green fish-like monster receptionist who reminded them to reserve their table, chair, food, and even silverware to eat here.

[break]

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hot Dog…?, Spider Ad, Spider Ad, [Empty], [Empty]

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, [Empty], [Empty]

The first thing that greeted the two was a fountain with a statue of Mettaton spewing out water…outside its bounds and into the floor in front of them. Red carpet surrounded it as well as made a path to the main entrance as well as the exit opposite that. On the fountain was an inscription.

Royal Memorial Fountain

Built 201X

(Mettaton Added Last Week)

"Huh. This fountain was built that recently?" Iji noted.

"That or monsters run a different calendar system, just like our kind do," commented Ansaksie. "With differences between 'starturns' and 'years', 'longturns' and 'months', 'cycles' to 'minutes', and so on. They haven't even seen the sun, so they have to have had a different way of measuring time."

"That's true."

It was a relaxing atmosphere, at least for the human, but somehow, it filled her with determination. The CORE was close. But it was late and she needed to sleep. However, she needed to inform 01 and 02 of this. She did promise to come back for them, after all.

As they went for the exit, though, the receptionist there, who was very small, pink-and-blue, and had an origami-like form.

"Welcome to MTT Resort — Hotland's biggest apartment building-turned-hotel! Whether you're here for a night or still live here, MTT Resort prides itself on a great stay! Just passing through…? Nice! MTT Resort prides itself on being passed through!"

Once they were out of the building, after Iji read the dropped paper (which read Hey! Go up the creepy alleyway on the right for some great deals!) and placed it somewhere it can be easily read, they made it back to the intersection where the Nice Cream Guy was, and the four Hotland guards were still there. All four immediately drew their swords at the sight of Ansaksie, but Iji immediately got between them and defused the situation by explaining everything she could about the Komato that was with her. For the sake of caution, though, 03 and 04—the mantis-like guard and the feline guard respectively—decided to accompany the non-monsters as they made their way back to the Resort to rent a room.

But first, Iji asked about the elevator, noticing the monsters waiting in line (a green dragon on the phone, a black one-eyed slime with a red bowtie, and a white 'manticore' with red heels on their forelegs, glasses, and a black mane and spiky tail as well as a briefcase), and 04 explained that it wasn't working right now as a result of the alien attack. Repairs were still in progress. To the left of the elevator was a pair of double doors leading to a food store called the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium.

Upon reaching the blueish-purple hand-shaped monster with red fingernails on the desk, they said, "Yes, we know. The elevator to the city is **not** working." It seems she's had to repeat this a couple of times. "Because of this incident, rooms are running at a special rate! 200G a room. Interested?"

"Sure." Iji readied the Gold so she can fork it over. "But what kind of rooms are available?"

"Right now, we have a room with a queen-size bed. Enough to accommodate all of you."

"Just for two, please," stated 03. "We guards will be on duty."

"Room rates are the same either way. So, how about it, darling?"

Iji put the money up front. "We'll take it."

"Fabulous! We'll escort you to your room."

* * *

"I'm guessing Komato have different beds?"

"With all the genetic modifications our kind have subjected ourselves to, flat beds like these aren't something our bodies are made for anymore. But I'm getting used to it, with my time here on Origin."

"Still strange to sleep beside one, though. But then, sleeping beside anybody in general, even other humans, has some level of awkwardness unless the two are close in terms of intimacy or family."

The room (which Iji remembered to ask a key for after the receptionist forgot to) had all the basic commodities of a hotel room just like the Snowed Inn; in addition to the bed was a shower (though still no toilets, naturally), a kitchenette, two small Mettaton-esque dressers (one with a lamp without a light switch and says that stars make their own light, and one with a giant bottle of Eau de Rectangle perfume with a comically large cap, which she can still open), and a long portrait of Mettaton under a starry sky with a crescent moon.

While 01 and 02 stood guard outside the door, 03 and 04, being females like the non-monsters they're guarding, stayed inside. Iji managed to store yet another change of clothing, and was now wearing a green t-shirt, though not like the one she woke up in after the Tasen Alpha Strike. This one was smoother in texture, was of a lighter shade, and was collared for slightly more formal occasions. As for bottoms, she changed back to simple long shorts like the pair she had on post-cyborg conversion.

Ansaksie had no change of clothes (apart from spare Assassin uniforms, which she left outside the Barrier), not having thought that far before deciding to stay, and will likely need a personal tailor; protection was not an issue as Nanofields already cover that, though only she knew what civilian wear was appropriate. Compared to Komato, apart from accounting for size, Tasen can wear human clothing just fine.

The two of them were presently sharing the bed, the former on her back with her Nanogun on her hands as always while the latter lay on her side due to her body shape. 03 and 04 stood guard over them, cautious of the weapon the human wielded.

"I should try and get some sleep," Iji yawned, the exhaustion of today's events getting to her.

"One of us should stay awake in case they try anything," Ansaksie warned.

She understood her companion's caution and didn't argue. "If you say so. Wake me when it's my turn. Don't tire yourself out."

"All right."

* * *

Aside from the watch cycle Ansaksie insisted on, the entire night was completely uneventful save for 03 and 04 making subdued friendly gossip, or after 01 and 02 debating taking the bed for themselves after switching in for the female guards, which they never did.

Through the night, after updating her negotiation_proposal_(draft) file in her logbook, Iji thought of what she should do for the finale of Mettaton's show and reflected on what she's been told both by the celebrity himself and Alphys during their preparations as well as other monsters who watch the show. Eventually, she managed to form together a plan.

However, just as she went to sleep, she began to dream again. In this dream, that child from before was there once more. They were in the same black landscape as before, but this time they were floating, as if in zero gravity.

"Greetings," the child said, gender still indeterminable.

Iji decided to ask the child, "Who are you? What's your history with the monsters?" _Because I definitely never met you until then._

The child gave a smile as the two locked eyes, and it unnerved her as they refused to answer the questions. "Wouldn't you like to know? I still don't get what you stand for. Your recent past is so confusing. Advocating peace here when you have so much blood on your hands. Yet the friends you made in that time don't regard you like such. Why is that?" (8)

These words shook her. Deep down, she knew her reasoning wasn't something a sane person would follow, but she felt it better than succumbing to anger because she knew at the time that humanity was in no shape to fight back, and even with her weaponry and the reputation she garnered, she was just **one** woman, and she feared that if she gave in, she might do something rash and screw everybody over. With the entire planet at stake, she had to keep a clear-ish head. (8)

"I did what I had to do. I'm not sure if you can understand that. I was short on time to fully plan on what I should've done. And you haven't answered by question."

The child closed their eyes before opening them again and speaking. "You're right. It was impolite to not give my name, Iji."

_How did—wait. Given they've somehow looked into my past, they'd naturally know my name._

"I am Chara. I should thank you. Your power awakened me. My 'human soul'… My 'determination'… They were not mine, but **yours**."

"What do you mean? Why is it only in Mt. Ebott that you've reached me?"

"I think you can figure out the answer to that."

"I know you're the first human that fell here, and met King Asgore's son Asriel. When you fell ill and perished, he absorbed your SOUL to fulfill your wish to see the flowers from your village. It didn't end well, and he perished as well by the time he got back. But why are you in my dreams? Are you a ghost? Is there an afterlife?" _Do Tasen and Komato ghosts end up in Earth's if they die here? Do they even have ghosts?_

"I don't know, either," replied Chara. "After our plan failed, Asriel turning to dust was the last thing I remembered. The next thing I knew, I was inside your mind."

Iji worried about the implications of that. "Wait, so you're now sharing my mind or something?"

"I…think so? To be honest, I'm new to this situation, too. I…never even read about how humans think of ghosts when I was still…alive. It's pitiful to see how far humanity has fallen from this Alpha Strike."

_Should I ask about body control? Or is that too soon? Probably too soon._ "Oh yeah. I'd like to ask. How did you come across the Underground in the first place?"

Chara seemed hesitant. "I…can't say right now. I'm not ready yet. I'm still trying to figure out why I'm here in you at all."

"Well, given that you can look inside my memories, mind if you share yours? Life before the Underground."

"I guess that's fair. I'm sure with everything you've been through, you can handle this."

And throughout the evening, Chara narrated their life prior to entering the underground. It was…a rather tragic tale, to put it mildly. It even justified the evil vibe Iji felt the first time she "saw" them while "feeling like garbage" with Napstablook.

Once that was done, even if it might be pointless, given that they're basically stuck together, Iji decided to do what she can to teach Chara things until they've reached the same maturity level as her. After all this is over, she'll have to think on this further.

* * *

Come morning, everybody was ready to go. Ansaksie didn't look like she needed to do any morning rituals. It was as if she had been taking a nap and that was all she needed; she was ready in an instant, probably from her training as an Assassin. As for Iji, she was a little groggy, but it was nothing a handful of water to the face couldn't take care of. All the Hotland Guards already took care of their business (and breakfast) before then.

Once everybody was ready to face the new day, the group of six left the room, Iji keeping the hotel key in her pocket. But before proceeding onward, Iji decided to check on the other tenants in hopes of gleaning more information, but they all assumed she was room service and refused to think otherwise. That said, she _did_ have some of the items they were asking for, and as a result, she got 99 Gold for trading in a Sea Tea, 99 Gold for trading in a Cinnamon Bunny, and a "Hush Puppy" (a "wonderful spell that stops a dog from casting magic"; physically, it resembled a small, savory, deep-fried ball made from cornmeal-based batter, like real hushpuppies, but smoother in texture) for trading in a "Hot Dog". (9) And insisted on giving a Spider Ad along with each item, which they thankfully kept.

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hush Puppy, Spider Ad, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, [Empty], [Empty]], [Empty]

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, Spider Ad, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, Spider Ad, [Empty]

After that, she decided to check out the Emporium, remembering some of the advice she was told regarding Mettaton. She also decided to take Ansaksie with her so she could eat as well. To avoid a potential scene, 03 accompanied them.

According to the script, there will be a final showdown somewhere at the CORE, where Mettaton reveals his true colors and they will undertake a epic and flashy showdown to appeal to the audience. This means MTT-Brand items, postures, outfit-changing on the fly (maybe a few accessories would suffice), and promoting Mettaton. Maybe she could promote Muffet's bake sale as well? She'll have to ask Alphys.

Stepping inside the Emporium, she was greeted by an orange cat-like monster at the counter. He wore a small hat with the letter M on it, as a part of his job working for the Emporium. And it looked like he was trying too hard to smile, which left her a little concerned.

Behind him was a menu with the available items for purchase, and the usual fast food kitchen stuff appliances and such. The menu showed the following item for sale.

**Starfait (60G):** A sweet treat made of sparkling stars.

**Glamburger (120G):** A hamburger made of edible glitter and sequins.

**Legendary Hero (300G):** Sandwich shaped like a sword.

**Steak In The Shape of Mettaton's Face (500G):** Huge steak in the shape of Mettaton's Face.

The ingredients looked questionable, but given that this was monster food, what goes down the stomach doesn't matter as it immediately gets converted into energy.

"Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger," the cashier announced. "Sparkle up your day. What can I do for you, ma'am?"

"Hello, sir," Iji greeted as she prepared 980 Gold and a Spider Ad. "I'd like to purchase one Starfait, one Glamburger, one Legendary Hero, and one Steak In The Shape of Mettaton's Face, please." She then turned to Ansaksie. "What would you like?"

"Same, minus the steak." She handed over 480 Gold after that.

"Um, one Glamburger to go," 03 said as she forked over 120 Gold.

He assumed a freakishly happy face upon hearing that and accepting the Gold. "Thanksy! Have a FABU-FUL day!" With that, he took their orders (and it seemed to be a slow day somehow since she seemed to be the only one in line) and had the chefs get to work. He also accepted the ad.

As they waited, Iji decided to see if she can get some intel from him just like she has with the Snowdin shopkeeper and Gerson. "So, I'm kinda new to Hotland. Is there anything you can tell me?"

For some reason, he looked very, very nervous. "What? Why do you keep trying to talk to me?

"Um, this is just my first try aside from the order."

"I'll get in trouble if I get chummy with the customers. Sorry."

"Oh, okay." And Iji decided to back off.

However, the cashier seemed eager to jump in. " **So** , I wanted to be an **actor**."

Cautiously taking this as an invitation to small talk, she decided to ask—

_Try some life advice._

_Wait, what?_ Those definitely weren't her thoughts. Was it Chara giving her tips? _Um, I'm pretty grown up already._

_It's for me. I haven't seen this monster._

Looks like it really was from Chara. This situation the two have with each other is still strange. _All right._ She turned her attention back to the cashier. "So, any life advice?"

In probable violence of regulations, he said, "Well, I'm getting on in years, so let me give you some advice, ma'am. You've still got time. Don't live like me. I'm 19 years old and I've already wasted my entire life."

_Huh? How could he waste his entire life when he's just a year younger than you?_ Chara commented in Iji's head.

_Once the Barrier's broken, he'll find out he hasn't,_ she replied.

_Okay. Try asking about romance._

And she did so.

"Listen," said the cashier. I like you, ma'am. So I'm gonna save you a lot of trouble. Never interact with attractive people. Unless you're "one of them," they're just gonna take advantage of you. Like that time those two chicks asked me to sneak them some glamburgers. And I, naive teenager that I was, said yes to them. Bad idea."

"Why? What happened?" Iji asked without any input from Chara, curious about this herself. 03 and Ansaksie were also showing interest.

"Well… So I went out to the alley to see those two ladies, and uh… you know, see what'd happen next. …Then my boss, uh, saw me and asked me what I was doing. I was so startled, the hamburgers in my pockets tumbled out onto the ground." Iji held back a laugh. "Not wanting to lose face, I scrambled to pick them up! But, as I was leaning over, the weight of the remaining hamburgers…caused my pants to fall down. Then the girls laughed at me. Everyone calls me Burgerpants now. But you won't, will you?"

She took a look at his name tag. It said Burgerpants, just like he said. "Unless you give me your real name or at least another name, I can't do that."

"Well, regulations won't allow me to tell my real name, so just call me B."

"All right. Mine's Iji." And she introduced 03 and Ansaksie as well.

_Can you ask about Mettaton?_ requested Chara. _I can't remember him being around when I was in the Underground._

_Right. I need to know more about him myself._ She then asked B, "What can you tell me about Mettaton?"

"When I first came to Hotland, it was my dream to work with Mettaton." He paused for a moment as he implied how well that went. "Well, be careful what you wish for!"

_The more you know…_ "Why is Mettaton bad?"

"God, have you even looked around? This place is a labyrinth of bad choices. And every time we try to change something for the better, he vetoes it and says "that's not how they do it on the surface." Oh! Right! Humans are always eating hamburgers made of **sequins and glue**."

Iji frowned at this news, and Ansaksie looked confused. _Well, this is a problem. That'll be the first to go. I'll have to tell Mettaton about this after the show._ "What else can you tell me about Mettaton?"

"Why do people find him so attractive? He's literally just a freaking rectangle," B continued before pausing for a moment to catch his breath. "You know, one time, I bought one of those, uh, kits online… to… Uh, make yourself more rectangular. …They don't work."

_Ask about the future_ , Chara suggested. _What do they think?_

Seeing that the orders were almost done (technically, only the steak was still in progress), Iji considered asking this one last question.

"Future? WHAT future?" scoffed B. "Nothing down here ever changes. I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever." He mulled over in despair. "But wait! There's one thing that keeps me going! If **Asgore** gets just one more SOUL, we'll finally get to go to the surface! It'll be a brand new world! There's gotta be a second chance out there for me! For everyone!"

_It'll be a brand new world, all right,_ Iji mused. _But we'll have to work to make it._

_I hope you have something in mind for this, Iji,_ Ansaksie thought.

"So stay strong, Iji," B continued. "When I make it big, I'll keep you in mind."

Around that time, the steak was finished, and it was indeed in the shape of Mettaton's face. It was a third a long as her Nanogun, too, and half as thick, though like everything else, it was properly packaged for on-the-go eating.

After storing her purchases inside her phone inventory and giving the other food items to her companions, Iji thanked B. "Well, I'll see you soon."

"Any time."

* * *

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hush Puppy, Glamburger, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, Starfait, Legendary Hero, Steak In The Shape Of Mettaton's Face, [Empty]

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide, monster_compendium, temmie_village_directions, gaster_note, the_undertale, underground_compilation, ask_gerson_about_the_king_later, negotiation_proposal_(draft), business_advice_to_mettaton

The next thing Iji checked out was the right alleyway outside the resort, and she asked the royal guards to hang back so as not to scare off whoever's there and asking Ansaksie (who was taking the time to eat the food she bought) to stay with them as well as "leverage" so that she won't ditch them.

At the alleyway, she found two monsters. One of them was a tall (not as much as Iji, though), green alligator monster that wore a primarily pink shawl with yellow and blue details on the sides. She also had yellow hair that flowed into curls. The other was a plump purple cat monster who wore a set of blue overalls with yellow buttons and tufts of yellow hair coming out from under it on either side. She had black hair with a blue streak in it, and a yellow earring on her left ear.

Their "store" had a sign with their names scrawled on it in eloquent script (Bratty and Catty, though she wasn't yet sure which was which), and nearby items include a dumpster, two trash cans, and a back door leading presumably to the resort's kitchens.

"Hey! Check it out!" said the gator monster.

"Yeah! Check it out!" agreed the feline monster.

"Let's see your wares, then," said Iji.

And they did. They had Junk Food (with bites taken out of them already),a battle-worn Cowboy Hat, an Empty Gun (antique Wild West-style revolver with no ammunition, but she figured that intent to harm is enough for even this weapon to deal damage against monsters; perhaps Undyne lost an eye to this gun?), and a mysterious key. Iji decided to purchase all except the Junk Food, and she had good reason to believe that the hat and gun were left by the last human who fell here and lost their SOUL. As a matter of fact, she found a name in the hat, marking it as the property of Clover. (10) She also insisted to hand over a Spider Ad to the pair.

Not really wanting to believe that the Temmies were the only ones who will buy stuff from customers, and given that this store wasn't exactly official, she then asked if there's anything they'd like.

"Thanks, but we, like, don't really need anything," said Bratty, whose name was provided when her partner squeed "Bratty! We're gonna be rich!" upon Iji buying one of their items.

"Oh my god, can you go get us some Glamburgers?", said her partner right after.

"We don't. Really need. Anything," Bratty asserted.

"Wait! I'll pay you 1000G if you get Mettaton to autograph my butt!"

While she had no reason to, Iji said, "I'll _probably_ take you up on that, um…what was your name?"

"I'm Catty, and this is my best friend Bratty," she introduced herself.

"I'm Bratty, and this is my best friend Catty," her friend did the same simultaneously.

The two stared at each other upon realizing that before then laughing at the moment, joined by their customer.

"So, where'd you get your goods?" Iji then asked.

"The stuff inside, is like…" Bratty began, referencing most likely the stuff in the resort.

" **Totally** wicked expensive," Catty finished.

"But, like, this stuff we found is like…

" **Totally** wicked cheap."

"You should…"

"Like…"

" **Totally** wicked buy all of it?" the duo finished simultaneously.

Seeing their customer look unimpressed, Bratty continued, "I mean, like, where does anyone get guns, or food, or…"

"We found it in the garbage!" Catty spouted out before cutting herself off as if she wasn't meant to say that, which was supported by Bratty's disapproving look.

She tried to salvage the conversation. "It's **good** garbage." Key word being "tried".

"It's like, really good garbage."

"Where'd you get this garbage?" was Iji's next question. Of course, there was Waterfall, but surely the monster city had its own places, too.

"Where do we get the garbage?" replied Bratty. "Like, the garbage store, duh!" Seeing her customer's raised eyebrow, there was a beat of silence before she and Catty laughed again. "Waterfall mostly."

"I found a gun in a dumpster!" added Catty.

Iji decided not to ask further on the gun (or the hat) and changed topics. "Given Mettaton's a big deal around here, what can you tell me about him?"

"Oh my God. Mettaton." Bratty.

"Oh my **God** , **Mettaton**." Catty.

"He's like…my robot husband."

"Actually he's like… **my** robot husband."

"I think we're like… both going to marry him."

"We're both like, **already** married to him. He just, like, doesn't know it yet."

Iji rolled her eyes; it was just typical rabid fangirling. "So, what else about Mettaton?"

"So, like Dr. Alphys built Mettaton, right?" Bratty started.

"That's like, what they **tell** you," Catty added.

"But like… Mettaton always acts like…"

"…being built was **his** idea somehow."

"And even right after he was built…"

"…he acted like Alphys was an old friend."

"But they're like…not friends anymore."

"Yeah! Unlike me and Bratty! Best friends for-EVER!"

_Huh?_ This revelation got Iji thinking. _If Mettaton acts like being built was his idea, does that mean he didn't **start** out as he was now? But what was he before? Some lesser robot before getting his current body, or perhaps…_ An idea came to her. … _a ghost like the Dummies and Napstablook? Only way to know is to ask him, though he might deny it._

She decided to ask one more question, though it may come with a few addenda. "So, you're familiar with Dr. Alphys?"

"Oh my God. Alphys." Bratty.

"Oh my **God** , **Alphys**." Catty.

_Oh dear. Are they fans, too?_

"She used to live on our street."

"She was like a big sister."

"I mean, like, if your big sister…"

"Takes you on trips to the dump."

"She showed us the coolest places to find trash."

"She was always collecting these weird cartoons."

"Then she became the Royal Scientist…"

"Yeah, we haven't seen her in forever…"

_That's new._ "So you knew her personally?" Iji asked. "What else do you know about her?"

"So Alphys has always, like…" Bratty began again, as per usual.

"Thought ASGORE is a SUPER cutie," added Catty, as per usual.

"So, like, I'm pretty sure she…"

"Made Mettaton to, like, totally impress him."

"A robot with a SOUL…"

"That's, like, **super** relevant to his hobbies!"

"So after seeing Mettaton, ASGORE…"

"Asked her to do all this science stuff for him! But nobody's, like, seen anything from her yet."

"Or… her at all…"

"She must, like, just stay in her lab all day."

"Like, live a little, girl."

"Yeah! Like us!"

_So Alphys hasn't even left her lab after becoming the Royal Scientist? What could her reasons be._ Setting that aside for later, Iji decided to ask what they know about King Asgore.

"Oh my God. He's a total goober."

"He's a big, fuzzy goofball!"

"Like, I **love** that guy."

"He's like, **so** nice."

"God, we're like…" both then spoke at once. "… **so** hyped for the destruction of humanity."

_Too bad the Tasen beat them to it._

_Ask them about Burgerpants,_ suggested Chara. _I wanna hear their side of the Glamburger story._ And Iji decided to humor the child spirit inside of her, though she was honestly curious, too.

But before she could do that, Catty seemed to notice something from the human's phone. "Oh my God. Is that a Glamburger? OH MY GOD! GIMME!"

She made to grab the phone, but Bratty pulled her back. "God, Catty. Try to have some self-control."

"Sorry…"

"'Cause they **obviously** brought that Glamburger for **me**."

"NO WAYYY!"

"Wait, she can smell items from a phone's inventory?" Iji asked.

"Actually, it's more like the smell of it lingers in the phone, meaning you must've ordered from the Burger Emporium inside," explained Bratty.

"I see. Speaking of the Emporium, what's your opinion on the cashier?"

"Oh, that guy from the store? Yuck, what a creep."

"Yeah! He's a creep!" agreed Catty. "But he's kind of cute, too."

"C'mon, Catty, don't you have **any** standards?" admonished the gator monster.

"Nope!" Catty said with pride.

Bratty shook her head before continuing. "OK, like, the annoying thing is…"

"He'd be OK if he just treated us with some respect," Catty continued.

"But he just acts… Really weird."

"And then acts like it's **our** fault that he acts that way!"

"Like, when we asked him to get those Glamburgers…"

"He dropped them and ran away before we could even say anything!"

"We were, like, going to share them."

"Really? I wasn't."

This shocked Bratty before they both laughed. "Catty!"

_Hmm, perhaps we should tell this to Burgerpants,_ Chara said.

_I dunno if I have the time for this drama,_ Iji argued mentally. _I still have Mettaton's show to be at, not to mention the Barrier to break._

_C: You went out of your way to befriend Papyrus and Undyne._

_I: That's because the former is an honestly nice guy who got in my way too many times, and the latter is the captain of the Royal Guard. I was doing it to earn favor, though I'll admit it's nice to make new friends. As far as I can tell, these two and B are just merchants. And while Bratty and Catty were friends with Dr. Alphys, the key word is **were**._

_C: I don't know. Maybe something will happen in your favor down the line. I looked into when you got that Banana Gun. And when you Nuked Asha, and destroyed Sentinel Proxima using only your weapons and not the terrain.  
_

_I: Honestly, I have no idea what came over me those times. But all right. I'll see what I can do._

"Bratty, Catty," Iji said aloud. "Do you use the UnderNet?"

"UnderNet?" Bratty.

"I wish." Catty.

"We're, like, not rich enough to have a computer, let alone a phone that can use the Net."

"Why else do you think we're here in the alleyway selling junk?"

"That won't do. Perhaps I can put a word in to Dr. Alphys," proposed Iji. "I'm currently on Mettaton's show after all. Maybe I can even ask him to autograph you, Catty."

Bratty was shocked. "Really? You're gonna do that?"

Catty was too, but for different reasons. "Really? You're serious about that?"

"Sure, why not?" Iji replied to to gator monster before turning to the cat monster. "I hold you to your request."

"Okay."

"All right, all right. 1000G if you **actually** get him to autograph my butt."

"Well, I better get going, hope to see you soon."

"Like, see you later!"

"Like, later and stuff!"

* * *

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hush Puppy, Glamburger, Mystery Key, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook, Stained Apron, Empty Gun, Cowboy Hat,

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, Starfait, Legendary Hero, Steak In The Shape Of Mettaton's Face, [Empty]

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide, monster_compendium, temmie_village_directions, gaster_note, the_undertale, underground_compilation, ask_gerson_about_the_king_later, negotiation_proposal_(draft), business_advice_to_mettaton

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, Spider Ad, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty]

And with that, Iji rejoined the guards and Ansaksie, but she wasn't done yet. She went once again to the Emporium to see B.

"Hey, Iji. What can I do for you?" he greeted.

She relayed to him what Bratty and Catty talked about him.

"The girls were… Talking about me…? They say I should stop acting like they owe me and if I want to be **friends** with them, I should just… uh, try to see things from their perspective? Wow. So, uh, what time would they wanna hang out?" (11)

"I'm guessing you can't take a break, huh, B?"

"Can't. Still got customers to serve, and we're short-staffed since the attack. In fact, I'm the only cashier still alive."

_Right. Can't forget that._ "Oh. All right. I'll go and ask those two girls."

"Okay."

Once more, she went back to Bratty and Catty and relayed what Burgerpants (since they know him by that name) said.

"Oh, uh…" Bratty was a bit unsure.

Catty however wasn't. "Yeah! He should come look for junk with us!"

"But like, if we let him hang out with us… I just worry it'll…"

"… be really super fun!" Catty guessed Bratty's next words.

"Um, that was **not** what I was gonna say."

"But I was close, right!?"

_Ask what kind of guy do they think B is,_ Chara suggested.

_I was about to do that._ "What kind of guy do you think he is?" Iji inquired.

"Well, that kind of guy," Bratty explained. "You hang out with him once, then he wants to hang out. All. The. Time."

"But don't you feel bad for him, Bratty?" Catty pleaded to her friend. "Poor Burgerpants… Think about how cool we are compared to him! We'd be saving his **life** with our friendship! His **life** , Bratty!"

"Uh, so?" She wasn't convinced.

The feline decided to go for another reasoning. "…Think of all the glamburgers he could get for us!"

The gator monster seemed to be sold on the idea after that. "…so is he free after work?"

"Can't one of you ask him yourself?" Iji asked them. (12)

Catty began to laugh nervously. "Huh. Perhaps we should."

"You go do that. Someone, like, needs to manage the shop."

"Okay!" And Catty made to dash out of the Alley, but Iji stopped her.

"Hold on, before you go, do either of you have any problems with the royal guards?"

"No, why?" Bratty cautiously asked.

"Well, there are a few waiting outside for me, and I didn't want to do business with you in front of them."

Catty waved it off. "Pfft. Nah. We're cool with them. One of them even buys food from us. She **loves** the stuff."

"Okay, then." She let the feline go before turning to the gator monster. "Well, be seeing you, then."

"Like, see you later!"

And with that "side-quest" over, Iji returned to Ansaksie and the guards.

"Are you done?" asked the Komato.

"Yeah. Let's go meet Mettaton."

After entering the resort once more, the entourage crossed the carpeted hallway between the elevator and receptionist's desk to the double doors on the end that had the CORE sign right above it. For a bit of dramatic flair, Iji pushed both of them open and stepped forward, beholding a walkway of pipes leading to a rectangular doorway with blue lighting. There were also guardrails for the walkway at the perimeter outside the CORE building itself, as well as a balcony with yellow lights on the resort side.

And at the CORE entrance were two indistinct shapes that went inside. Iji decided to notify Alphys. She couldn't remember if this was part of the script.

"Huh? Who are they?" she parroted. "N-nobody else is s-supposed to be here… Oh well! We can't worry about that now!"

"Is it part of the script?"

"Uhh…they're probably workers. It's time for the shifts to change."

"Okay."

"Remember, I got guards escorting me, try to take that into account."

"R-right! See you there!"

Once the call was over, Iji decided to call Papyrus (and Undyne if she's still there) next. "Hello?"

"HI, IJI! HEADING INTO THE CORE?" the skeleton asked.

"The CORE is a huge tower of electric energy," Undyne pitched in. "So I don't think your phone will work through it."

"OH NO! WHAT WILL YOU DO WITHOUT US?"

"Don't worry, guys," Iji assured. "I'm not going in alone."

"RIGHT! THE GUARDS!"

"You have something to do, right?" said Undyne. "Well…even without words, we'll be with you in spirit, OK?!"

"YEAH! YOU CAN'T GET RID OF US!"

"We're counting on you, so don't mess it up! See ya!"

And the call ended. And the group walked forward. Once they were inside, an elevator and two pathways beheld them. The floor was blue as well as the walls and had lines on them depicting a high-tech theme.

Another call came from Alphys. Iji decided to put it on speaker. "Ready? This is it! Take the elevator up to the top of the CORE!"

Iji approached the elevator button an pressed it. But it wasn't working. She decided to try and hack it but Alphys spoke again.

"What? The elevator should be working. W-well then! Go to the right and keep heading up!"

"Can you go check that for me, Ansaksie?" Iji asked as she lay her hand on the elevator buttons to find a way to hack the thing to work again.

"I'll do it," 04 volunteered as she checked in the Komato's stead. "The alien's staying where most of us can see her."

"Okay."

A few seconds later, 04 came back. "There's only a dead end and a fire pit that way."

"What?" said Alphys over the phone. "That pit… isn't on my map. Forget it! Let's try the left side!"

Like before, 04 checked it out. This time… "Clear!"

"Okay, let's go," Iji said as she went off that way with the guards and Ansaksie.

"You're not gonna finish cracking that?" asked the Komato as they walked.

"Actually, I want to see more of the CORE, and going the long way might help. I need to learn as much as I can before arranging terms with King Asgore."

* * *

Crossing the left pathway took them to a short hallway flanked with pillars with red glowing electric lamps. And then they were greeted by what looked like a classical fancy wizard (monster) with two floating orbs in place of arms before it decided to retreat. According to the compendium file, it was a Madjick.

"Alphys?" Iji asked anyway on the phone. "Who was that?"

"I-I-I don't know. Wh… why are there so many monsters here? B-b-but I mean… It's no problem, r-r-right? W-w-we've just got to keep heading forward!"

"Mercenaries," said 03. "King Asgore had to pay a lot to protect us them when the aliens attacked. Of course, they were also defending themselves, but he needed as many of his people as he can safe."

_They're most likely after me, given that most of monsterkind is still after my SOUL. But how would they know I'm a human if other monsters don't? This is confusing. I wonder why Mettaton hasn't called them off yet, assuming he's their contractor. But given they've fled, I'm thinking they don't want to mess with the guards._

"Let's keep moving," Ansaksie broke Iji out of her reverie.

"Right."

* * *

The next are consisted of a right turn with a small pathway lined with lasers in the middle. A force field blocked the way forward, and there was a switch nearby, which Ansaksie approached.

"Looks like you can't proceed until you hit the switch." Alphys said. "B-but, those lasers will activate when you do. Ummm… Looks like they'll come in this order: Orange, Orange, Blue."

"Make sure that's correct," Iji said. "Remember that there are guards with me."

"R-right! They're probably in the reverse order."

"Thank you." She turned to the Komato. "Ready."

Once Ansaksie flipped the switch, three lasers came in from the direction of the hallway. And they were colored Blue, Blue, and Orange in that order.

"Move on the third!" Iji immediately barked as she stood still, then did as she said. 01 got hit, but Ansaksie backflipped to dodge the orange laser. The rest managed to get by unharmed. "I think the script only called for me to do this alone. Perhaps it's best I walk ahead of the rest of you so this won't get hurt like this."

"We're not leaving you," 02 said. "Guards have to learn to dodge lasers too."

"It's often a part of training," 04 added. "So you don't have to worry."

"If you say so," Iji replied before they proceeded onward.

* * *

The next area consisted of a short hallway with a fork to the left, which the group ignored after 02 went ahead and verified it was a dead end. The area after that however consisted of a long hallway filled with lasers. The first set seemed passable enough, with four moving blue lasers and one stationary orange one, but after that was a whole set of stationary blue lasers. If Alphys doesn't have a way to turn these off, Iji will have to destroy them. Speaking of, she spoke on the phone.

"M…more lasers… Okay, I'll just deactivate the lasers and let you through."

A few seconds passed, but nothing happened. But that was part of the script. " They're… They're not turning off… I can't turn them off, I… I-i-it's okay! I have this under control! I'm going to turn off the p-power for that whole node. Then you can walk across."

As she said, the power was turned off.

"Okay, go!"

Everybody scrambled to cross the laser hallway, but it was so narrow that nobody could sidestep one another. Well, the non-monsters can jump really high, but Ansaksie's conserving her teleportation charges, and Iji doesn't trust her own judgment to land safely or not break the glass.

A few seconds after Alphys gave the signal, she shouted, " **W-wait! Stop!** "

Iji parroted those words to everyone just as the power went back on and trapped her, Ansaksie, and 01 in blue lasers, with 02 just behind, and 04 and 03 having to navigate the lasers further back.

"Th-the power… It's turning itself back on. D-damn it… Th-this isn't supposed to… I…" Alphys calmed herself for a moment before speaking again. "I'm gonna turn it off again. When it turns off, move a little, and then **stop**. OK? Y-you won't get h-h-hurt."

Once the power went out again, everyone knew to take that as a cue to get moving. Once they saw the light flicker, everyone stopped.

As soon as Ansaksie made it to the other side after Iji, she commented, "This reminds me of a game Komato kids used to play when they wanted to be Assassins."

Iji decided not to ask further on that except to respond with a raised eyebrow as the other guards joined them. After which Alphys spoke again. "S-see? I've got everything under control. Everything's under control!"

"Does she?" asked the Komato as the group continued.

"So far, everything's according to script," the human replied.

* * *

The next area consisted of a crossroads and two digital signs, and the place began to smell of ozone. Also, Alphys made herself known again. "OK! Y-you should… you should… I don't know? This doesn't look like my map at all... I'm sorry... I... I... I have to go." And with that she hung up.

"Still part of the script?" Ansaksie asked Iji.

"I don't think so. From what I heard from a CORE worker at the restaurant, it seems that the inside of the core has swappable parts, and the layout can be shuffled at will. Alphys sounds like either she doesn't know, or this wasn't part of the script."

"So what now?"

"Let's check the signs."

And that's what they did. The one to their right said East… The End while the left said North, the warrior's path. West, the sage's path. Any path leads to The End.

"Looks like there are two puzzles in this area," Iji deduced. "Solve either one and I'm thinking the path to The End will open. Just to be sure, let's do both."

She led the party to the west, where they reached a right turn after crossing a short bridge. They also found a conveyer belt in front of them just a jump away. It also happened to be carrying ice cubes off and dropping them into the bright substance below them.

_So the ice from Snowdin goes all the way here…_ "Say," Iji turned to the guards. "Is the ice from Snowdin for cooling the CORE down?"

"No, actually," 03 said. "Though it does help. The water down here is actually ozonated water, which is used for cleaning clothes, sanitizing food, and purifying drinking water."

"Ah."

* * *

The next area was a straight path with a left turn that had another sign that said Solve this puzzle and The End will open. The party immediately took that turn and beheld a shooter puzzle just like the ones in Hotland. Iji immediately got to the controller and proceeded to solving it. It took a while, but she managed to do it. Neither Ansaksie nor the guards made any comments throughout this, which Iji found a little odd but let it slide. She then went back to where the sign is and turned left again, going north, which led to another short corridor with a right turn. Ahead was a dead end with a trash can, which she immediately checked and found a perfectly good (wrapped) Glamburger.

It was tempting to take it, but she didn't want to give a bad example to Ansaksie, so she ignored it. But 01 thought it was a good idea and took the Glamburger.

"Don't follow his example," Iji told her Komato companion.

"Komato know how to keep clean too," Ansaksie replied. "Outside of matters of war, that is. What do you take us for?"

"Given the Tasen love their hot drinks in temperatures far above human standards, and Vulkins think their **lava** heals, I needed to make absolutely sure. Assumptions can get you killed."

"I see."

After 01 got back with the rest of the party, they took the right turn, where they found another cross path and another digital sign that said Traverse the northern room, and The End will open.

"Let's see," Ansaksie said. "Given where we've passed, north is to the left. But do we need to go there?"

"Now that you mention it, perhaps we should check The End first, see if it is indeed open. Given how much of a maze this is, let's backtrack."

In a while, the group was back at the starting point after the laser hallway, and they took the east path, which had a turn like on the west path, but minus the conveyer belt for ice cubes. The area after that had a sign saying I cannot fight. I cannot think. But, with patience, I will make my way through. on the right while the left sign said To the East! This is The End. Which they followed, taking a long bridge with a wall to their left, and pillars with red glowing electric lamps to their right.

And at the end of the bridge was not just Madjick, but four other monsters as well, and they all seemed to be positioned in an obstructive formation. These were quite obviously the mercenaries 03 mentioned.

One of them was a monster that wielded a great staff with a sun symbol in their right hand, wore a suit of black armor and what resembled a horned helmet with a crescent moon emblazoned on their forehead. The helmet's eyepiece occasionally widened and unwidened during battle as if it was their mouth (and could very well be). Their torso was dominated by an avian face whose beak will open and close, revealing a small eye. According to the compendium file, this was Knight Knight.

The second basically consisted of a large ball and four spiked limbs. The ball was accompanied by two "horns" on each side. At first, it looked like a Loox-like monster with three eyelashes. However, it shortly changed when upon closing its eye, the eyelashes turned into a marking and two eyes while the original eye became a smiling mouth with teeth. This was an Astigmatism.

The third bore a lot of similarities to a Whimsun, except their antennae were thicker, there was a muff on their head that branched in two, a knight mask blocked their face, they wielded a two-bladed spear, and their ghost-like torso was skinnier and shorter. This was Whimsalot, and they've come a long way.

The fourth had spike-like creations on their head and eyelids, accompanied by a crown-like muff on top of their head. Their "shoulders" were decorated with sharp excrescents, while the silhouette between their legs formed a face with triangular smile and cross eyes. Final Froggit was its name, quite obviously improved from when it was a Froggit.

When Iji glanced back at her companions, she couldn't help but feel they were about to have a showdown of sorts for some reason. She really hoped not to; she's only fought monsters up to three at a time. She's never seen monsters fight one another with intent to harm, only heard of Undyne's training under King Asgore, as well as her physical shenanigans with Papyrus she sometimes hears on the phone or according to Undyne herself during their talk in her house.

And then the mercenaries parted, allowing the party to pass. (13) Iji was briefly confused, but decided to pull back for a bit before gesturing to the Hotland Guards. 02 immediately got the message and they assumed a formation where they guarded her (and Ansaksie). The mercenaries got the message as the party passed.

"Mettaton is past that door," said Knight Knight in a deep yet feminine voice. "Your performance is about to begin."

"Don't leave us waiting," said Astigmatism. "We already got tickets."

Madjick just gestured to something past them door and bowed.

"I hope you're ready," said Whimsalot, certainly sounding braver than Whimsun.

Final Froggit just croaked.

As the group reached the end of the bridge, they saw a decorated doorway leading somewhere to the left, as well as an elevator just past that.

"Okay," said Iji. "Given what I've learned so far about Mettaton, I'll need to be geared up." She then knelt down, took out her satchel, then took out her phone, opened the inventory systems, and started rearranging all her stuff.

**_ STANDARD _ **

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hush Puppy, Glamburger, Mystery Key, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook, Stained Apron, Empty Gun, Cowboy Hat,

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, Starfait, Legendary Hero, Steak In The Shape Of Mettaton's Face, [Empty]

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide, monster_compendium, temmie_village_directions, gaster_note, the_undertale, underground_compilation, ask_gerson_about_the_king_later, negotiation_proposal_(draft), business_advice_to_mettaton

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, Spider Ad, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty]

|  
V

**_ FOR THE SHOW _ **

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Glamburger, Mystery Key, Starfait, Legendary Hero, Steak In The Shape Of Mettaton's Face, Manly Bandanna, Cowboy Hat, Spider Ad

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook, Stained Apron, Empty Gun

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hush Puppy

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

During her re-sorting, Alphys called and asked to be put on speaker and told them the following. As they're nearing an exit out of Hotland, the Royal Guards will have to leave Iji. Not being part of the show, Ansaksie was to stay with the guards, and at the end of the show, she'll be accompanying the human again.

It took a few minutes before she was ready, but soon, she was geared up for her showdown with Mettaton. She stepped through the doorway, ready for whatever Mettaton has in store.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nightelf37: So, yeah. I decided to put Mettaton's showdown on the next chapter. I think this one was running a little too long.
> 
> Sometimes, I wonder. Perhaps an alternate tale where the Child falls in sometime after Iji, but unfortunately, due to the alien attacks, they've become xenophobic and commit genocide on monsterkind out of paranoia and fear, and going **that** other path. But then I decided otherwise; such a killer would easily be stopped by a non-monster. My mind can wander sometimes.
> 
> (1) Let's be real. There's no way one can properly be 'still' in that situation. Your body bobbing up and down as you walk will still likely count as SOUL movement.
> 
> (2) I'm sorry. I couldn't figure out how to translate Muffet's battle into text, so I decided to skip it, and that's also why I had Iji keep the Spider Donut until she made it to Muffet.
> 
> (3) I can't do the "dance" justice, so I won't describe it, not even in the musical format I have for _Shisno Chronicles: Friendship is Magic_ series.
> 
> (4) Just like the train question in the quiz show, Iji's thought process here provides the answer to the puzzle.
> 
> (5) Of course, Iji told Alphys that she's very likely to solve the colored tile puzzle, and the scientist was more inclined to believe a fellow adult on this.
> 
> (6) I was planning to write a Fight against RG 03 (the cat) and RG 04 (the mantis), but decided against it and put them here instead.
> 
> (7) I'm sure everyone who's familiar with the angel Metatron saw how similar the name was.
> 
> (8) In Iji 1.6, Even though you can potentially slaughter so many enemies with reflected shots, because they don't add to your kill count, NPCs you meet don't regard you as a mass murderer.
> 
> (9) In case you don't know, hushpuppies are real food.
> 
> (10) A reference to a fangame titled Undertale Yellow.
> 
> (11) I'm sure Burgerpants can tell the difference between a child and an adult.
> 
> (12) No reason Bratty and Catty can't, right?
> 
> (13) I was a bit impatient to end this soon, not to mention I have no clue how monster-vs-monster conflicts go, so the mercenaries weren't going to fight the royal guards.
> 
> Up next: The Showdown with Mettaton truly begins, Alphys finally reveals something she's been hiding, Iji is forced to accept the truth she's been ignoring, and she **finally** meets up with the King.
> 
> See ya on Third!


End file.
